Summary: An inferior sequel to Two Hearts As One, it reveals how Rinoa and the people around her are coping with the changes in her life.
Disclaimer: I do not, nor have ever, owned any of the characters in this story. Square does.
Author's Note: I know this isn't as good as "Two Hearts." I know Rinoa is out of character. I'm sorry. Would she act normally in a situation like this? Really, this story is intended as a link between "Two Hearts" and another story that sprang into my head and demanded to be written. That one will probably come up around Halloween.
Forever a Part of Me
Nobody understood her. How could they? In the long history of sorceresses and their knights, not one had ever been in a situation like Rinoa's. All her friends treated her strangely, as if they were trying to be friendly but couldn't get past the fact that she wasn't the same person any longer. She was a stranger with two familiar faces.
Rinoa wanted to leave Garden. She didn't know where she would go, but she wanted to get away from all that reminded her of Squall. But they wouldn't let her leave. Headmaster Cid had given her an eloquent speech about how Garden could find a cure for her, or at least help her adjust, but Rinoa saw through it to the truth. They weren't going to let her leave because SeeD didn't want to turn a mentally unstable sorceress loose in the world. They were watching her every move, waiting for her to crack and justify their fears. It made her angry, but there was little she could do about it.
So instead, Rinoa was forced to find ways to keep herself busy, either inside Garden or in the town with her so-called friends who nervously watched her every move as if she were going to unleash a magical blast to level the buildings around her.
Damn them! She didn't need them anyway, she thought fiercely as she paced her private room like a caged wolf. Damn them all!
Rinoa paused before the mirror on her dressing table. Once, it had been a priceless family heirloom, but now it was just an empty frame with a few jagged pieces stuck in the corners. Smashing the mirror hadn't made her feel any better, but now she no longer had to see her awkward face with its blue right eye and distinctive scar, or the brown-hued black hair that fell into her eyes in an untamed cascade.
It didn't stop her from feeling the differences. Her whole body moved with a speed and strength she'd never felt before. And her preferred weapon had changed, too. Instead of the pinwheel, chosen for her as a safe and easy weapon, she used Squall's elegant gunblade with deadly accuracy, as if she had trained with it for years instead of picking it up for the first time two months ago.
The gunblade was just one of many of Squall's little mannerisms she'd adopted. She'd become broody and silent, caring about nobody's welfare. Not even her own. If she died in combat, she would welcome it. Her dress sense had changed as well; she still favored a black tank top, but now she wore a pair of black leather pants, an extra set of Squall's, complete with the elaborate belts. The Griever pendant had replaced her mother's ring on its chain around her throat, and Squall's black leather jacket, virtually untouched by the accident, and his gloves completed the ensemble, though it was too muggy to wear them today.
It was no wonder everyone feared her. Rinoa scared herself as well.
But this was getting her nowhere. She needed to get out, to DO something before she went crazy. Crazier. Whatever. She decided to work her frustrations out in the Training Center, as she had been doing for the past few months. It was the only place she could go that felt like it was away from Garden, and she could go unattended. So she grabbed her gunblade from its case and sauntered out her door.
She strode down the hallway, gunblade slung over her shoulders. Rinoa ignored the stares from the younger students and the uneasy looks she received from the instructors. It was as if they thought she would bite... They didn't care that she was hurting inside. No one did. It wasn't fair! She swung the gunblade furiously, ignoring the shocked cries of students loitering in the hallway. It wasn't as if she was going to hit them, after. Why didn't anyone even TRY to understand? She stalked forward, watching everyone leap out of her way.
No one would take her in their arms ever again. She was a freak, a powerful one at that, and she was just too frightening. No one even wanted to hang around with her. Not that she wanted their sympathies anyway. But their silence hurt!
"Rinoa?" a voice queried nervously. Rinoa halted, turning to face who had spoken. It was Zell, his face a mask of ill-disguised fear, tempered by sadness. Well, at least they felt sorry for her. Or perhaps they just mourned their leader's death.
"What?" Rinoa asked, more sharply than she had intended to.
"Your father is here."
Now Rinoa stared at him in disbelief. "The general? He's here? Now?"
Zell nodded. "He's waiting for you in the lobby."
Rinoa was puzzled. Why had he come? Did he actually care about her welfare? When he'd learned she'd become a sorceress, he'd been horrified. She doubted his attitude would alter now that she had changed even more.
She followed Zell slowly, uncertain whether she actually wanted to face her father. He had the habit of overreacting to everything Rinoa did that was completely unlike anything her mother would have done. Like when she had gotten her tattoos when she was fifteen... Even if they were angel wings barely seen on her shoulders, her father hadn't approved. He'd ordered her to keep them hidden. Which why she'd taken to wearing the same image on the back of her clothing, as a defiant reminder that they were there.
This was something her father couldn't hide. She wondered how he'd react.
The lobby was crowded with students, and Rinoa wondered why her father wanted to see her here. There were private rooms where they could talk, after all. Zell wound his way through the crowd, with Rinoa right behind him. She wondered if the students were moving away from Zell, or from her.
He was standing apart from the students, his formal Galbadian uniform contrasting sharply with the cadet outfits the students wore. He stood stiffly at attention, as he did in any crowd. Ever the military man, Rinoa thought rudely.
She walked straight up to him and stared him in the face. It was strange, Rinoa noticed suddenly. She'd gotten taller. She'd never been able to meet her father's eyes like this before.
General Caraway stared, and his jaw dropped in a most undignified manner. Rinoa wanted to laugh. He'd had manners pounded into her since birth, and here he was losing them! "Hello, General," she said formally. She still couldn't bring herself to address this man as "father." Some things hadn't changed, at least.
"Rinoa?" he gaped. He couldn't seem to say anything else.
"What do you want?" she asked, trying to keep the cool tone out of her voice. What if he were trying to reach out to her?
"Is it really you?" Caraway managed. His gazed was locked on her mismatched eyes and the scar between them; the most striking features of her change.
"It's me," Rinoa said. She didn't like how this was going. "Why are you here?"
"I - I came to take you home," the general said, struggling to regain his composure.
Home? He wanted her home? He hadn't been so eager for her return when she'd told him she was a sorceress. That could have been because his city was recovering from an attack by a sorceress, though, and he'd been concerned about what the citizens would do to another in their midst. Could he really care for her?
"Why?" she asked again.
"This obviously isn't the place for you," General Caraway said firmly. "They've failed to protect you, and that boy has caused you more problems than he's worth. Now that he's gone, I think you should come home, and we can go on with our lives."
Now it was Rinoa's jaw that dropped. Protect her? Go on with our lives?
"Get on with our lives?" Rinoa repeated slowly. "You mean, as if this never happened? As if Squall never happened?"
"Rinoa, this isn't the life for you. Look at you! You're a mess! Let me get you home, and we can see about how we can fix this."
He didn't care about her. Rinoa recognized his tone; he had lost face with his influential peers by letting his daughter descend to such depths, and now he was trying to salvage what he could from the situation. He didn't care about her. He didn't sense her agony. He had lost someone he said he had loved, and yet he didn't understand how she felt!
The gunblade had been forgotten in Rinoa's hand until she began to swing it back and forth nervously. Her father was a fool! He thought they could just forget this! As if she could ever go back to being the sweet, gentle girl she had been.
"I can't," Rinoa said, her voice a dangerous whisper. "You don't understand. This wasn't a casual lover I lost. He was part of my soul! I can't just forget Squall and pretend this never happened. It's impossible. Look at me, General. Look at me! I'm not your darling little girl anymore. Squall is forever a part of me now. And if you and your friends can't accept that, then I don't want any part in your life." She swept the gunblade around angrily, and Zell hopped out of the way. Several students screamed as she missed them by a hairsbreadth.
Rinoa spun on her heels, nearly crashing into Quistis in the process. The other woman was clearing the students from the lobby, and turned towards Rinoa with a grim expression. "My apologies, General," Quistis said. "Perhaps now isn't the best time to be here." General Caraway nodded, his face pale. He hurried away from his daughter without a backward glance, but Rinoa had caught the expression on his face: fear, mixed with revulsion. She wasn't anyone he wanted to know.
"Rinoa," Quistis said softly. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to return to your room if you're going to swing the gunblade in the lobby. We can't allow-"
"I know," Rinoa said in a neutral tone. "I was just leaving." She'd lost her desire to fight any harmless monsters, when it was her own father she wanted to hurt. As she headed back to her room, surprisingly unescorted by anyone, she was surprised to feel hot tears sliding down her cheeks. Not even her own father wanted her. And in her anger, she had nearly hurt innocent people. She didn't belong here anymore; she didn't belong anywhere.
This was it, then. Tonight, when Garden was sleeping, she would leave this place forever. Maybe, someday, she would find somewhere that didn't hold her odd nature against her. Maybe shed find somewhere she did belong. If such a place existed.
