TITLE: For Old Time's Sake

AUTHOR: rcruz

Disclaimer: If I owned them, things would look a lot different. The characters, settings, established histories, and general Grey's Anatomy universe referenced in this work are properties of their respective owners. This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 2

Callie's head spun around at the sound of her name. Erica felt Callie's hold on the purse relax right before she relinquished her own claim. She looked around nervously. This was awkward.

"Erica?" said Callie in a slightly squeaky voice that caused a small chuckle in Erica.

She had forgotten how cute Callie could be. She shook her head at the positive thought. She wasn't supposed to have thoughts like that, not about Callie, not anymore.

"Hi," she responded at a loss for anything else. She thought about turning around and walking away, but everything seemed awkward and weird in that moment rendering her confused and unable to act.

"Hey! Oh my God I never thought I'd see you…here…um…today of all days. I mean…oh my God!" Callie was excitable and excited even in her speech. She paused for a few seconds "I can't believe it's you," she said almost in a whisper.

It was the softest voice Erica had ever heard. She gulped. She had been so in love with this woman once. She looked down at the purse Callie was holding and then at the chaos still around them, and noticed the preteen looking girl from earlier eyeing the purse hanging loosely from Callie's hands. With slightly narrowed eyes in the girl's direction, she reached for the strap in Callie's hand, effectively wrapping her fingers around Callie's in an effort to get her to tighten her hold on the purse.

"You better hang on tight to that. That girl over there is a viscous shopper."

The movement brought them into close proximity, closer than politeness dictated, but neither of them seemed to mind or notice. Callie looked in the direction of the girl and tightened her grip. She felt Erica tighten hers as well and smiled.

"Yeah, she looks vicious," she said in a teasing tone.

"Trust me, she's more vicious than she looks," said Erica finally stepping back and removing her hand from Callie's. It was Callie's perfume that had done it. It was all too familiar and enticing and was making her feel warm in ways that had nothing to do with the temperature inside the store. She needed to step away.

Callie missed the closeness immediately and almost sighed. They had not spoken to each other in a year and yet it felt like no time had passed. Seeing Erica was making her stomach do wild flips and the return of the familiar feelings she associated with Erica didn't surprise her in the least. It was strange that they could come back in such a rush so quickly, but she was not mistaken about what they were. There was not a day that passed that she didn't think of Erica, of how Erica made her feel, of how Erica had utterly changed her life and yes, even how thoroughly Callie had messed everything up. She had made a lot of mistakes in her life, but this one, the one she made with Erica; it haunted her. A year ago they'd had their last blowout in the parking lot. Surrounded by street lights and strange cars, with only the moon as their witness, they ended their short relationship. Since then they'd seen each other once at a conference, but had not talked. Callie had been too scared to approach her. It was cowardly, but then that was her problem all along, she was always too scared. Besides it was easier to stay away.

"Gift for your Mom?" asked Erica.

"What?" responded Callie, feeling confused. She stepped closer to Erica both because she was having a hard time hearing and because she missed the closeness.

"Your Mom, the purse, is it for your Mom?" repeated Erica. She almost stepped back when Callie moved closer, but space was limited as people continued jostling and jockeying around them. In the end, she stayed right where she was enjoying the sweet scent of Callie's perfume.

"Purse?" asked Callie reaching up with the hand that held the purse to tame her dark hair.

Erica smiled. Callie really did seem confused. "The purse you have in your hand? The one you stole from me?"

Realization broke out all over Callie's face. She stepped back slightly and looked at the purse.

"Oh God, yeah, the purse. Yeah, it's for my mom. I didn't think my parents were coming for Christmas, but they're here and of course I've had no time to shop, so…I'm sorry, I did steal it from you. Look, you can have it. I was just looking for something…anything really…"

Her babbling was interrupted by a soft touch on her arm, so very familiar that she wanted nothing more than to curl her body around it. She wanted it to linger. It didn't.

"It's okay. Mom gift definitely trumps my use for it," said Erica in a comforting tone that surprised both of them. Erica had never been good with people, but then Callie was always the exception. Erica suspected she always would be.

Callie forgot the purse and focused on Erica's amused face. She missed that face. She missed that smile and it was in that unguarded moment of remembrance, of thinking about just how much this woman had changed her life that she blurted it out.

"God, I miss you."

Erica blushed, looked away, and stepped back mindless of the crowd behind her. Her movement created a gulf between them. Callie's eyes wanted to water. She knew she should want to take the words back, that she should regret saying them, that she should not expose that much of herself to someone that should be a stranger. But she didn't. For once she did not regret the vulnerability she had displayed. She did regret everything else. She regretted every single thing she had done to make this woman shrink from her. She looked away and blinked rapidly in an effort to halt the threatening tears.

"I'm sorry," she said because she didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay," said Erica. "You won the purse fair and square. I let go."

Callie didn't know if the misunderstanding was deliberate and was unsure how to respond. She wanted to correct her, to get them back on a different conversation, to tell her that she was sorry, not for taking the purse, something that had been more chance than willful intent, but for hurting her, for letting Erica stand out on a limb by herself and then watching her fall without reaching out a hand or whispering words of comfort. She wanted to say sorry for not supporting her when she should have back in that parking lot a year ago and she especially wanted to apologize for not going after her.

"You let go, but I should have come after you like you always did with me," she said hoping Erica would understand.

Erica was confused. She was very confused. She was confused by Callie's words but also by her own reactions. She hadn't seen Callie in a year, if you didn't count the time they had glanced at each other at an otherwise forgettable conference and Erica didn't. She had moved on quite nicely from Callie Torres and so the surge of warmth, the desire for closeness she felt standing in the middle of a crowded and chaotic department store was confusing. She was over this.

"Callie…" she started, but then stopped. She had no idea what to say.

Callie stepped closer almost unconsciously, purse still clutched in her hand. Erica's eyes widened in slight alarm, but then got caught in the brown shiny ones staring back her. They seemed to be searching or maybe they were questioning, she wasn't sure which. She managed to break away from them, only to have her eyes betray her anyway by settling on the full lips she remembered only too well.

"Callie, I'm not…" she started again positive Callie could feel her unsure breaths.

She still had no ending for the sentence she had started moments earlier. Her rational senses were leaving her quickly as her eyes remained focused on the lips in front of her. It would only take a step. One easy step forward and her body would be close enough to feel Callie's warmth. A slight bend at the waist, a mere inch of leaning forward and an angling of her head would get her closer to those lips. She could imagine it or was she living it?

"Are you buying that?" asked a voice that was unfamiliar to both of them.

The moment was broken. It took a few seconds for Erica to come back to the real world. She had no time to ponder if what she had been imagining was only in her head or something that almost happened so she chose to keep it in her head. Shit like that didn't happen. She hadn't seen Callie in a year. You don't just see each other in a store by chance and end up kissing. That crap does not happen!

"Yeah, I am," she heard Callie respond to the girl who had been eyeing them earlier. The tone was a little harsh and dismissive but did the trick as the girl scrambled away.

Erica laughed. "Nice tone. You have it down."

"I learned from the best," said Callie the lightness in her voice returning.

They were both smiling, but the silence that followed the remark eventually became awkward.

"Well, you better get to the registers…"

"How about we get out of here and…"

They spoke in unison and could not help laughing as they tripped over each other's words.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" asked Erica.

Callie stared at her for a few seconds before responding. "How about a drink?" she finally asked a little nervously.

Erica wanted to say yes. Her bones were screaming it, but she hesitated.

"I don't know if…I'm not sure…"

"It's Christmas Eve," said Callie interrupting her. She wasn't sure if that would or should mean anything. Could a day really make a difference? It certainly didn't change what had happened. It wasn't going to change the last year. Still there was something about this time of year that made you less afraid of asking and she was hoping that that same something would make Erica more willing to take a chance.

Erica was looking for a reason to say no because everything inside her was saying yes. She needed to quell those yeses, to drown out that desire to be around Callie because listening to all the yeses had only produced hurt and bad feelings last time. Her eyes strayed to the purse Callie was still holding.

"I can't," she said slowly. "I have to find a gift for my girlfriend."

That broke the magic of the moment. She saw it in Callie's body. She saw the eyes dim, her back straighten, her features tighten all over. Callie looked at the ground for a few seconds and then raised her head. She was smiling, but it was forced and both of them knew it.

"Well, that's a pretty important thing," said Callie in a tone that was overly cheery.

Erica merely nodded. She hated this. It was as if the good feelings they had managed to generate in the last few minutes were leaking out of her. She had been feeling crappy when she walked into this store and was wholly unprepared for the inexplicably happy feelings running into Callie had produced. There was confusion there too, but in and amongst that, there was also a lot of joy. She wanted to curse because despite the good feelings of the last few minutes, she was going to walk out of here feeling worse. So was Callie.

She couldn't handle it. The faster they got out of each other's company, the better.

"I better get going," she said willing her feet to move her. They didn't.

Callie swallowed. She didn't want Erica to go. She knew she would probably regret this, but she surged ahead anyway with her own brand of Christmas courage.

"You still have to get a gift, right?"

"A gift?" asked Erica still wondering why her feet were refusing to move.

"For your…girlfriend," said Callie clearing her throat at the last word.

"Who?" asked Erica, finally managing, with a great deal of effort, to make her feet move a few inches away from Callie.

"Your girlfriend?" asked Callie now wondering if she had heard right a few minutes ago. She stepped closer to Erica, not even conscious of doing so, distracted as she was by the idea that maybe there was a story behind the girlfriend.

"Girlfriend?" asked Erica cursing the fact that her feet were less inclined to move when Callie was so close. Giving up on her feet momentarily she reviewed the conversation of the last few minutes, which she had only been half paying attention to and then blurted, "Girlfriend! Right, my girlfriend. Yes, I do need to get her something, but I don't think I'll find anything here."

"It's the only place open, Erica."

Erica knew Callie was right, well mostly right. "There's a gas station open on my way home."

Callie's eyes widened. "Gas station? Seriously, you are thinking of getting your girlfriend a gift from the gas station? For Christmas?"

Callie was doing a bit of wishful thinking. She knew it, but it was okay because if you're going to do wishful thinking, you might as well do it on Christmas and right now she was pretty wishfully thinking that the girlfriend was not a serious girlfriend. Erica did not have a reputation as the most sensitive person around, but Callie was fairly certain that she would not give a gas station gift for Christmas to someone special.

"No, I…" Erica hesitated, at a loss as to how to explain how her thoughts had evolved since she walked into this store. What she was thinking was that sometime in the last few minutes she had decided that Lisa was not getting a present from her, Christmas or no Christmas. The relationship was over and thus there was no reason for her to be running around looking for a present. She respected the holiday, but frankly she had tried. It was a metaphor for their whole relationship. They had tried and failed. She wouldn't be surprised if Lisa didn't even bother to call. She hadn't in the last week and half. It was late Christmas Eve and she hadn't heard a peep. But that was too complicated a thought to share with Callie right now.

"Come on, I'll help you pick something out," said Callie seeming a little more energized.

She grabbed Erica by the arm and started dragging her through the thinning crowd. The masses of people were diminishing and not much of a mass anymore. The noise level was going down as people left the store, some disappointed, others with a sense of relief. Callie kept her hand wrapped around Erica's arm as she led her through empty aisle after empty aisle. They found nothing in jewelry, not a thing in lingerie, not even a stray pillow in house wares. Finally they found themselves in the candy aisle where they managed to find a jar of mixed nuts with a Mr. Peanut decked out in holiday garb and a bag of Mike & Ike candy that Callie refused to consider worthy of eating let alone a gift.

"I would have had better luck at the gas station," mumbled Erica although gifts for Lisa were the furthest thing from her mind. She found it hard to focus on the supposed object of their search with Callie so tantalizing close. She was doing that thing she had liked doing during their very brief courtship where she pulled her whole body close to Erica's and kept it there.

Erica knew the situation was surreal and bizarre. She went with it anyway because it was only one night. One night for old time's sake in which her ex-girlfriend, the one she compared every other girl to, the one she still had dreams about, was helping her pick out a gift for an alleged current girlfriend whom she doubted was still her girlfriend. Yes, that made perfect sense.

They heard the announcement that the store would be closing over the speaker. Erica reached over and placed her hand on the one encircling her upper arm. She squeezed and felt Callie's hand wrap itself around hers as they faced each other. It was a strange feeling and an even stranger moment. Erica didn't think about it. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to feel this moment for as long as she could. Unfortunately that couldn't be forever.

"We better get you checked out," she said reluctant to say the words that would in essence end the moment.

Callie nodded and started walking but did let go of the hand in hers. Apparently Callie didn't want this strange moment to end either. Erica followed not knowing what was going on or what it all meant. She only knew it would be over soon. They checked out without sharing another word and then walked out to the slowly emptying parking lot.

They stood in the middle of it. Erica was trying to think of what to say. Callie took note of their surroundings. A quiet sadness invaded her night of wishful thinking as she thought about the last time they stood in a parking lot with stars overhead, facing each other. She closed her eyes oblivious to Erica's struggle with what to do next.

Just as Erica was formulating her goodbye, Callie spoke.

"Let's go for that drink. Maybe you can buy your girlfriend a gift card from…a bar? Do they do that?"

Erica laughed a little. "I honestly don't know." And she didn't know if she wanted to go either. Well, more accurately, she did, she just didn't know if she should. Callie grabbed her hand.

"Come on, I owe you something. You let me win the purse."

Erica tried to frown, but it was hard with Callie's warm hand in hers. "You don't owe me anything, Callie."

I owe you an apology, thought Callie, although she didn't speak those words out loud.

"Please," whispered Callie pulling for that old Christmas magic to give her this one thing.

Erica thought about it for a few seconds. She wanted to. She wanted a lot of things, but wasn't that the harsh lesson she had learned with Callie? You don't always get what you want in love. In fact, she doubted that most people got what they wanted out of relationships. She certainly never had, not in the long-term anyway. She sighed. You don't often get the long-term things you want, but when the short-term things present themselves, you might as well grab on to them for however short the length of time.

"Okay," she said, still unsure if she should let go of reason, even for just a night.