Jasper whistled as he dragged 5ft of rope behind him through the thick forest. He had spent all afternoon thinking of the perfect (and easiest) way to kill himself. He finally decided on the old time rope around the neck hanging.

After 3min and 530 miles, god forbid anyone walked out of the house and found him in the act for that would be one long and embarrassing story, he found the perfect tree. There was no doubt it was at least 50ft tall and had a base of about 5ft by 4ft.

Using his vampire abilities he easily climbed up the tree and tied one end of the rope to a branch and a circle with the other end. Slipping the rope through his head and tying it tight, he looked down and estimated he was about 20ft high.

He sighed knowing no one could hear him and said, "Goodbye my immortal life. Love you Alice." With that he jumped off the branch and the unexpectable happened.

With his weight and the speed at which he jumped, caused too much pressure on the tree. With an ear splitting crack the branch broke falling to the earth floor as the rest of the tree came toppling down with it. The forest was in an eruption of noise- tree limbs crunching, roots breaking, the ground shaking, and then quiet.

Jasper had landed on his stomach with the base of the tree lying across his back, needles poking into him from ever angle.

He leaned his head on his hand. "Damn." he hissed observing the mess he had made. From his seat under the tree he noticed four other trees had been knocked down as well.

Out of no where a booming laugh came only to have Emmett appear out of no where.

"What the hell happened?" Emmett laughed.

"Um… Nothing! Nothing! I don't know what your talking about!" Jasper coolly played it off trying to hide the rope to the best of his abilities in his certain situation.

Emmett wasn't buying it.

"Yeah right, and Bella isn't clumsy!"

"Just get the tree off of me."

"Say please!"

"Will you please get the…"

"No! No! No!" Emmett cut him off. "Say 'Oh please great one! Will you pretty, pretty, please with gumballs and rainbow kittens on top, help me?'"

Jasper glared at Emmett.

"I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a chainsaw! Now will you please just GET THIS THING OFF OF ME BUTT MUNCH!" Jasper yelled suddenly fuming. His out of control emotions were getting to him.

"Butt munch?" Emmett repeated, bursting out laughing harder. Jasper snarled but that only made Emmett pretend to be offended as he gasped, "Well then! I'll just take my 200 pounds of raw muscle and sexiness and go else where with it!"

Jasper clutched his teeth and unwilling through them said, "Oh please great one. Will you pretty, pretty, please with…gumballs…and…rainbow kittens on top, help me?"

"What was that? I can't hear you?"

"EMMETT YOU CAN HEAR ME! YOU'RE A VAMPIRE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IF YOU DON'T GET THIS THING OFF OF ME I'M GOING TO KILL YOU INSTEAD OF MY…" Jasper shut up realizing the mistake he just made. Emmett however, heard it.

Emmett stared, strangely not in anger or puzzlement, but amusement. He walked over to Jasper.

"You do know even if the tree wouldn't of snapped you would of just swung around until some poor human found you and freaked that you weren't dead. Incase you forgot, you're a vampire! You don't need air!" he exclaimed, flicking Jasper on his forehead.

Jasper sighed. "Just shut up and help me."

Emmett laughed lifting the tree.

"No problem, Tarzan!"