Chapter 2
Shizuo woke up the next morning feeling… strange. His pillow was now clutched in his hands and his bed felt harder than usual. He opened his eyes slowly and shielded them against the sunlight. He sat up and realized that he had been sleeping on a couch. Now he was confused. He didn't recall falling asleep on the couch. In truth, he didn't recall falling asleep at all. He remembered collapsing and decided that Tom had taken him back home.
But if Tom had taken him back to his apartment, why would he place him on the couch? Tom was a very caring person and would make sure he could do whatever he could for a friend in need.
Shizuo shook his head and looked around. Wait a second… This wasn't his apartment! In fact, he had no idea where he was! He shot into a sitting position and groaned when pain shot through his body. He was in… pain? He didn't sustain injuries from the day before from what he remembered but his back was aching and his neck was sore.
He pushed himself up off of the couch, trying to stand on his feet. He held back a curse as pain shot through his ankle. He didn't remember doing anything to his ankle…
As he reached down to examine the pained part of his body, he noticed that something was different about his hand. It looked thinner and paler than he remembered. There was also a silver ring on his index finger and a ring of fur around his wrist that connected to his sleeve. Okay, those things were definitely new.
He shakily moved his hand to get a better look at it. He recognized that hand; he usually had seen it wrapped around a switchblade. Shizuo swallowed hard and suddenly felt the urge to throw up. He looked around the room, trying to find a bathroom or some place that had a mirror. He needed a mirror, he had to see his face and make sure that this wasn't all some messed up dream.
Shizuo stumbled around the room, limping on his now twisted ankle as he poked his head into smaller rooms. Luckily, he found the bathroom soon enough and limped inside, looking up into the glass surface of the bathroom mirror.
His heart almost stopped.
Or rather, Izaya's heart almost stopped because Shizuo was no longer in his own body. He was now in the body of his worst enemy, Izaya Orihara.
…
Namie Yagiri sighed to herself as she unlocked the door to Izaya's apartment. She really didn't like to do this, going back to that scumbag day after day just to be his damned secretary. But what other choice did she have? The Yagiri Pharmacy had gone belly-up and was absorbed by Nebula, leaving Namie nowhere else to go. And besides, the bills wouldn't pay themselves.
However, it would not stop her from complaining about Izaya having her make him his meals everyday…
Balancing the groceries expertly in one arm, she opened the door and entered the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind her. As she set the bags down on the coffee table, a horrible scream came from the bathroom and Izaya stumbled out, looking like he had seen a ghost.
The dark-haired woman blinked at him and then went back to the groceries. If the informant was finally going insane, then fine. She didn't care… as long as it got her out of that place…
As she began to take things to the kitchen, the informant's voice stopped her.
"Excuse me," Izaya asked, looking slightly confused. "Who are you?"
"I'm Namie Yagiri, your secretary," Namie sighed. "Did you bump your head and get amnesia? If you did, I'm not taking care of you."
Shizuo, in Izaya's body, winced. It didn't seem like Izaya and Namie got along well… but then again, who would get along with Izaya?
"Sorry…" he sighed, trying to keep from acting too suspicious. "Uhm… Since you're my secretary, can I ask you to do me a favor?"
Namie sighed. Now she knew something was wrong with him… He was asking politely! "Since you asked so nicely, even though it normally wouldn't make a difference, I will. I would have to anyways. What is it this time?"
Shizuo thought fast. He knew enough about Izaya to know that he probably had a busy schedule and Shizuo wasn't willing to talk to any yakuza bosses today. "Cancel any appointments I've made for the day. I need to go to Ikebukuro to visit a friend." He had to get to Ikebukuro and find Shinra immediately. Hopefully, the doctor would be able to fix this or maybe even Celty.
"Don't tell me you're going to mess with that Heiwajima guy again," Namie groaned. "I'm not in the mood to patch you up today…"
"Not this time," Shizuo sighed and then looked at the woman. "And I'm giving you the day off." Hey, he might as well give the woman a break. After all, she worked for Izaya of all people.
Namie blinked at him. Okay, now she was entirely convinced that Izaya had gone insane. "Thanks…" she muttered, not really knowing how to react. "I'll cancel all appointments and be on my way."
"Thank you!" Shizuo gasped, grasping her shoulders. "You're a life-saver!"
Namie watched, shocked, as her insane boss ran off. Something was definitely wrong with the man… Shrugging it off, she went to Izaya's computer to change his schedule today and picked up the groceries before leaving. It was time to make herself a nice meal…
…
Shizuo cursed as he stumbled out of the elevator. His ankle was still aching and he limped all the way to the front door of the apartment complex. As he walked outside and breathed in the morning air of Shinjuku, many questions were running through his mind. How on earth did this happen? This had to be some sick, twisted dream that he was having. At any moment, he would wake up and be Shizuo again. But as he went through Shinjuku, he began to think that it was all very real.
As he approached the bus stop, he decided that if any of this was Shinra's fault, the doctor would be getting his face beaten in.
Shizuo flopped onto the bench and suddenly remembered that Tom might be waiting for him to work today. Grumbling under his breath, he searched desperately around for a phone on Izaya's person. Reaching into his pants pocket, he fished out Izaya's cell phone and began to dial Tom's number.
After a few rings, Tom's voice came over the line. "Hello? Who is this?"
"Tom, it's me," Shizuo paused after speaking and cursed to himself. He even sounded like the flea! He cleared his throat and tried to make his new voice sound more like, well, him. "It's Shizuo. I… I can't come to work today… I'm… sick."
"You sure sound like it," Tom replied. "What's wrong?"
Shizuo shook his head and placed his right hand on his forehead. What was he going to tell Tom? "I just woke up this morning not feeling like myself…"
"You did seem kind of out of it yesterday," the debt collector noted. "I'll give you the day off. Just rest up and call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Thanks Tom," Shizuo sighed. "See you later…"
"Ja nee," Tom replied before hanging up, leaving Shizuo to his thoughts.
Yes, he decided. When I get to Ikebukuro, Shinra is a dead man…
…
Shinra walked out of his lab, stretching his arms out and removing the gas mask from his face. He was finally done cleaning up the mess that Izaya and Shizuo had made the day before. Much to his delight, neither of the two men had shown up yet so the doctor took it as a sign that nothing had gone wrong at all.
Once again, the doctor had the apartment to himself seeing as Celty was out looking for her head again. He had nothing better to do so Shinra decided that he might as well relax for the rest of the day. As he sat down on the couch with a cup of tea, someone started to bang on the door.
"Dammit Shinra!" the voice on the other side yelled. "You'd better open this fucking door right now or I will rip it off of its hinges!"
Shinra sighed and got up to answer the door, feeling a bit of déjà vu coming on. On the other side of the door was Izaya, his expression lacking its usual smirk. The corners of his mouth were turned down into a tight and irritated frown while his eyes were glaring daggers at the doctor standing in front of him.
"Oh, Izaya…" Shinra said, looking the man up and down. No extra limbs, no tail, and he sure as hell didn't have boobs… "Why are you here?"
"You should already know why I'm here, Shinra," Izaya snorted, pushing past the doctor. "Let's talk about this inside…"
Shinra followed the informant, thoroughly confused. "B-but… You look fine…"
"Yeah, I look fine," Izaya snapped. "Inside, however, is a different story." His face turned from serious to worried as he sat on the couch. "Shinra, I'm not…"
Another knock sounded at the door, this time softer in nature. Shinra turned his head towards the door and held a finger up to silence the informant.
"Hold that thought," he said and ran off to answer the door.
Izaya, or should we say Shizuo, sighed in frustration and slumped in his seat, staring down at the ground. Stupid Shinra; why couldn't he just listen for once? He ran his hands through his now black hair and shook his head. What the hell was he going to do about this?
"Ah! I'm surprised to see you!" Shinra's voice floated down from the hallway. "Why did you come here, Shizuo?"
Shizuo snapped his head up upon hearing his name. What? Shinra walked back into the room, a familiar person following him. Standing right behind Shinra was Shizuo… or at least someone that looked like him.
"Izaya, Shizuo's here," Shinra said. "Please don't try to kill each other this time."
Shizuo glared at his doppelganger. "I can't make any promises…"
The doppelganger smirked at him and sat down next to him, adopting a relaxed position. "It's alright, Shinra," the imposter said casually with a familiar tone. "I'm sure Izaya will be able to control himself."
Shizuo shot a glare at the imposter. Shinra cast a confused glance between the two. They seemed like entirely two different people compared to the Izaya and Shizuo he knew.
"Uhm… Do you two want anything to drink…?" he asked awkwardly, trying to relieve the tension.
"I'm fine," Shizuo snapped, keeping his eyes locked on his doppelganger.
"Just water please," the doppelganger said with a mischievous grin.
As Shinra turned to the small kitchen to get the fake Shizuo his water, the imposter looked at Shizuo, flashing him a particularly evil smirk. It took all the mental control Shizuo had not to clock the imposter right then and there.
"Here's your water, Shizuo-kun," Shinra smiled, handing the doppelganger the glass of water. "So, Izaya, what did you need to talk to me about?"
Shizuo threw another glare at the imposter. "Shinra, what I'm about to tell you may seem unbelievable, especially since this-" he pointed at the doppelganger. "-thing is sitting next to me. You see, I'm really not…"
Once again, Shizuo was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and Shinra sprung to his feet, his eyes sparkling in excitement.
"Celty!" the doctor cried out, running towards the dullahan. "You're home! I missed you so much!"
'I missed you too,' Celty responded via PDA. She looked over at the other two on the couch. 'Shizuo and Izaya are here?'
"Ohayo, Celty-san~" the doppelganger grinned raising a hand in greeting.
"Morning…" Shizuo grunted under his breath, looking at Celty briefly before glaring at the imposter again.
Celty glanced briefly between the two, looking concerned as a headless woman could be. She tugged at Shinra's sleeve and typed a message on her PDA.
'Can I talk to you for a second?'
"Sure," Shinra said, looking slightly confused. He turned to the two men sitting on the couch. "Please don't have a replay of yesterday. I would very much prefer my living room to stay intact."
"Don't worry, Shinra," the fake Shizuo smiled, waving the two off. "I'm sure we'll be able to behave."
The couple left, walking into the office and closing the sliding glass door behind them. Shizuo glared at the doppelganger sitting next to him on the couch who turned to him with that annoying smirk on his face.
"Who the hell are you?" Shizuo growled.
"Couldn't you tell?" the doppelganger asked playfully. "Blonde hair… Bartender uniform… I'm Shizuo Heiwajima."
"That's a load of bullshit," Shizuo snorted. "You can't be Shizuo Heiwajima because I'm Shizuo Heiwajima! So who the hell are you?"
The imposter cocked his head to the side and adopted a smug expression, crossing his arms over his chest. "Interesting that you say that, considering that you definitely don't look like who you claim to be. And as for who I am? Why, I'm injured that you can't even tell! Wouldn't it seem obvious…" He paused and his lips curled into an evil grin, his eyes gleaming with mischievous delight. "…Shizu-chan?"
Shizuo's eyes widened and his blood started to boil. The flea was in his body. He growled and grabbed Izaya's collar, pulling him close. "What the hell are you doing in my body, flea? Get out now!"
"Trust me, Shizu-chan," Izaya, in Shizuo's body of course, sighed. "I would if I could. I don't wish to live my life wearing your horrid face but I don't really have control over that, now do I?"
Shizuo let go of his enemy's collar, turning around in his seat to face away from Izaya. "How the hell did this even happen?"
"How should I know?" Izaya sniffed and then looked at the man sitting next to him, noticing how much their heights differed now. "Ne~!" he giggled, placing a hand on Shizuo's head. "Shizu-chan's so short!"
A feral growl rumbled from Shizuo's throat as he clenched his fists. If the situation was different and Izaya wasn't in his body, Shizuo would have beaten him to the ground by now. "Don't touch me."
"Oh~?" Izaya narrowed his eyes, his now hazel orbs glimmering in excitement. "Have I made Shizu-chan angry? Would you mind if I did this?" He prodded Shizuo's temple with his finger, repeating the action several times.
"Stop it."
"I wonder how far I can go until Shizu-chan explodes," Izaya said in an impish tone as he continue. "I would love to see what you would try to do to me in this state." He continued poking Shizuo until he became disappointed that the test wasn't really showing any results. He stopped and then placed his hand close to the bodyguard's temple, giving the area a nice, firm flick.
"That's… it!" Shizuo growled, whipping around and throwing himself at the informant.
…
Meanwhile, Celty was in the process of quickly typing out a message to Shinra on her PDA. She was slightly shaken after seeing Shizuo and Izaya acting the way they were and needed to make it know to Shinra now.
'That person out there isn't Shizuo…' she typed shakily.
"Eh?" Shinra looked confused. "Are you sure?"
'Look at him, Shinra!' Celty commanded, twisting Shinra's head so that he could look at the two men sitting on the couch. 'He's not acting the way Shizuo would normally act.'
Shinra watched Shizuo closely, noting his expressions and movements. Celty was right, he wasn't acting like normal. When he spoke, his expressions became conceited of nature and his lips were always twisted into a smirk. The difference was also in his posture. He was sitting up straight, crossing one leg over the other. Shizuo normally kept his legs uncrossed when sitting and he usually slouched forward a bit.
"You're right, Celty…" Shinra muttered thoughtfully. "But why do you think that he's an entirely different person?"
'I can sense it,' Celty responded. 'He's giving off an entirely different aura. So is Izaya.'
"Izaya?" Shinra frowned and looked back at the men. Izaya was now holding Shizuo by the collar, yelling angrily at the blonde man. "He does seem… angrier than usual…"
'There's just something going on,' Celty said. 'I can't put my finger on it but something's wrong here.'
"It's like their personalities switched…" Shinra paused, looking thoughtful. "You… you don't think that it has something to do with yesterday, do you?"
'I don't know,' the dullahan responded. 'But I wouldn't be surprised.'
Suddenly, there was a loud yell from the living room and they both turned to see Izaya leaping for Shizuo's throat.
"Not again!" Shinra groaned and ran out of the room, Celty close behind.
Thinking quick, Celty flung her arm out and thick black shadows snaked out of her sleeve. The shadows shot out and wrapped around the body of the informant, lifting him into the air.
Shizuo cursed as Celty lifted him up. He realized upon seeing Izaya's smug face that the damn flea was waiting for that moment all along.
"What is the matter with you two?" Shinra asked. "You two are going at it more than usual."
"Shinra, if I recall yesterday correctly, you told us to come by if something happened," Izaya brushing his new blonde bangs out of his eyes. "It's not my fault that the protozoan feels like he has to act violently."
The doctor blinked at Izaya, still thinking that he was Shizuo. "…Huh?"
"I'm going to kill you, you louse!" Shizuo snarled and began to kick his legs around. "Celty, put me down so I can strangle this bastard!"
Shinra, who was now thoroughly confused, looked between the two and ran a hand through his hair. "I won't even bother asking any more questions… Just tell me what's going on."
"I'm in the protozoan's body and he's in my beautiful body," Izaya said with a sharp nod. "That, Shinra, is what's going on."
There was a pause and Shinra looked slowly between the two. "…Come again?"
"We switched places," Shizuo snorted. "I don't know how but the biggest slimeball on the face of the planet is waltzing around in my body."
"This was caused from yesterday," Shinra sighed, the sentence being more of a statement than a question.
"Exactly," the switched men answered in unison.
"That… that doesn't even seem possible!" the doctor exclaimed. "Now, I would guess that something like what happened yesterday would cause dramatic physical changes but this is on a completely different level!"
"What about magic?" Izaya inquired.
"No." Shinra said, for once looking genuinely disgusted. "I refuse to believe in something so far-fetched as magic."
Shizuo glanced at Celty, one eyebrow raised, and then turned back to Shinra. "So you don't believe in magic, yet your girlfriend is an Irish spirit with no head?"
"That's besides the point," Shinra sighed. "However, the important thing right now is focusing on how to get you two back to normal."
"Please," the two answered, Shizuo grinding the answer out through clenched teeth and Izaya saying the word in a serious monotone.
"I can't stand being in this body," Izaya sniffed as Celty put Shizuo down. "It's horrible. I'm so ugly!"
"Trust me, it's an improvement," Shizuo shot back. "I have to put up with being a creep until Shinra fixes this." He looked at his friend, a little bit of concern shown on his face. "You will be able to fix this, right Shinra?"
The brunette suddenly looked nervous and scratched his cheek nervously. "Well… You see, Shizuo, I really don't know much about the situation. I don't even know most of the names of the chemicals in the lab and I sure as hell don't know what the majority of them do. So it might take time and…"
"What do you mean it might take time?" Izaya asked, his playful demeanor gone and replaced with a wicked glower. "Shinra, you don't understand do you? I have a very important job to deal with and I certainly can't walk around claiming that I'm… well, myself while I'm like this." He gestured at his body. "So I'm afraid this'll have to go pretty fast."
"Now Izaya…" Shinra stuttered, backing away slowly. He was sure to be wary of the informant when he was angry, especially now that he had Shizuo's body and, most likely, his strength. "Please listen to reason. I'll need to look at the remains of the lab and see if I can pinpoint exactly what made those chemicals react. For now, however, I have no idea what's going on. I'm as much in the dark as you are. So… um… I'll just need time… right, Shizuo?" He looked hopefully at his friend.
"Actually, Shinra… I agree with Izaya for once…" Shizuo admitted. "We have lives and jobs to get back to. In this state, I don't see how we could do that."
"Speaking of, I forgot to call Tom-san for you," Izaya said casually. "Gomen ne~"
"Thanks," Shizuo snorted sarcastically. "Luckily, I thought to call him and I was civil enough to cancel all of your meetings with yakuza bosses for today."
"Oh. Thanks," Izaya said, blowing the statement off. "Anyways, Shinra… We need to be switched back NOW."
Celty then leaned over towards her confused and pressured boyfriend, holding out her PDA for him to read.
'I think I know of someone who would be able to help,' the text read.
"Really?" Shinra asked, looking elated. "Who?" Celty typed in the name and he wrinkled his nose upon reading it. "Oh. Her."
"Who?" Izaya asked, looking curious.
"You'll see when we get there…" Shinra sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in dismay. "Let's just leave now before you two try to kill each other for the third time…"
"Hai!" Izaya chuckled, shooting a playful smirk and doing a mock salute in Shinra's direction.
As Shinra and Celty walked towards the door, Izaya sprung off the couch gracefully and did a twirl to place himself in front of Shizuo. The other man, who was still very irritated by the fact that he was in Izaya's body and this wasn't all an elaborate dream, glared at him and clenched his fists. Izaya had to hold back a chuckle. It was so entertaining to see Shizu-chan try to hold his temper!
"Please try to act like a normal person on the way there," Shizuo snorted as he pushed past Izaya. "It's bad enough that you have to smile like that all the time… You're making my face look creepy."
"I'll try, Shizu-chan!" the informant chuckled as he followed the other man. "But I can't promise anything! Oh and try not to mar my beautiful face with that ugly scowl of yours. It's most unbecoming."
Shizuo ignored him which only made the informant frown. Darn, he was even trying so hard to light that short fuse of Shizuo's! It was always disappointing when Izaya didn't get the reactions he wanted from people. Nevertheless, he shrugged it off as a devilish smile stretched across his face. There would be plenty of time to annoy Shizu-chan on the trip through Ikebukuro…
