Relationships
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Spoilers for "Jat Lag".
Chapter 2: Secrets
Paris
"Will you stop it?" Tony snapped finally fed up with Ziva's tossing and turning in the bed. He could swear that, back when they'd been undercover, it'd been way better to listen to her snoring like a bear, sleeping through the winter than put up with her current performance.
"You are still up," Ziva stated turning on her back and staring up at the ceiling troubled.
"Gee, wondering why," Tony remarked sarcastically as he mirrored her actions and lay on his back.
"Just go to sleep, Tony," Ziva sighed tiredly and Tony was just about to point out that it was impossible to sleep while she was jumping in the bed like a seal in the circus but suddenly the troubled tone of his companion's sigh registered in his brain.
"You alright, Ziva?" he asked sincerely concerned as he looked over at her in the semi-darkness. Ziva was momentarily taken aback by his sudden change of tone and the unusual sincerity in it. It took her a couple of seconds before she turned to him and gave him a small smile.
"Yes, Tony, I am all right," she answered.
"Well, you're obviously not," Tony pointed out as he pulled himself up in a sitting position and leant against the headboard. "Something's clearly bugging you."
"Please, Tony," Ziva drawled slightly annoyed then turned on her side, facing away from him.
"Oh no, Missy, you're not doing this," Tony chuckled not ready to drop the subject and using his most charming tone to get Ziva talk but when he heard the woman scoff ruefully, his expression suddenly turned serious again. "I'm serious, Ziva. Ever since you returned from Somalia you're closing yourself off from us. You've never talked to any of us about what had happened there. You dealt with it on your own, forgetting that we were there to help you. And now I really don't care if you'd shoot me for trying but I won't let you dismiss me with an 'I'm fine'. I'm your friend, Ziva." Tony was intently watching Ziva's back as he waited for any kind of reaction.
Ziva, on the other hand, was lying still. She really wanted to shoot Tony. However, she was still under the influence of the genuine – and oh so rare – sincerity of his voice so after several moments of silence, she found herself sitting up and joining Tony by the headboard.
"It is not true, you know," she began in a solemn tone. Tony looked at her confused before she continued. "I did talk to Gibbs."
"You did?" Tony asked back and Ziva nodded in confirmation.
"I found his silence more comforting than your eager support," she explained. "I am sorry but I just could not take it."
"I see," Tony gave her a little nod in understanding but he couldn't help the disappointment echoing in his voice.
"But it does not mean that it was not appreciated." She gave Tony a little smile in the semi-dark room which was returned when she squeezed his hand gratefully.
"And now?" Tony asked, referring to their current situation. "I can be your silent support," he said, half joking, which earned him a little chuckle from the Israeli woman. "No, seriously. I'll make my best Gibbs impression," and he promptly assumed a grave expression. "And I'll shut up, of course." He turned to Ziva and couldn't help cracking a smile when he saw how her mouth was twitching with barely-contained laughter. "Really, Ziva," Tony finally continued in a more somber tone, "I'll do whatever you need, just let me help you."
Ziva's face turned serious, too, as she regarded Tony for a little while.
"It is not that easy for me to talk about these things," she sighed.
"It's understandable. I can't even begin to imagine what happened to you in Somalia."
"It is not about that." Ziva shook her head with a sad smile. "I can finally put those months behind me. I will never forget what happened there but I can live with it and accept it as a part of me. I moved on… but maybe not everybody is ready to do so."
"What do you mean?"
Ziva looked at Tony as if contemplating whether she should tell him or she'd better stay silent. It wasn't easy for her. She'd never been the one for whom it comes easy to share her emotions and now that she was facing Tony, who seemed eager to lend her an ear, she was uncertain how to proceed. She loved Tony, it wasn't a question. She was one of her best friends. But trusting him with her feelings and thoughts had never been easy. She just never knew when to expect him to throw it all back to her face.
"It is about Gibbs," she told him finally. The look on Tony's face would have been really amusing if they'd been in a different situation. "Do not look at me like that. You know what I mean."
"Well, at this point I'm not entirely sure about that. You mean that you had a thing for the boss-man? A crush?"
"It is not a crush, Tony. I am in love with him."
A long silence followed this statement while Tony tried to process the information.
"Wow!" he finally breathed into the darkness. "How did I miss it?"
"Do not be too hard on yourself. You are not the only one who missed it."
"Oh." Tony looked at Ziva, understanding downing on him. "So, if I understand it correctly, you're in love with the man but he doesn't know it. Well, I'm not a relationship expert," he delivered his opinion but Ziva's mocking chuckle interrupted him. "Not funny, okay? Anyway, I think you should talk to him and tell him."
"It is not that simple, Tony."
"It certainly sounds so to me. He doesn't know so you should let him know."
"You do not understand. I think he knows it… and I think he ignores it."
"Okay…" Tony drawled, thinking. "Still, you should talk to him," he concluded convinced that talking was the solution.
"Tony, do not take it the wrong way but as you said it, you are not a relationship expert."
"I may not be but it's not my idea," he pointed out. Ziva looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Abbytoldmeonce," Tony mumbled clearly embarrassed.
"Oh… Does it work?"
"I wouldn't know. I was too much of a coward to try it. But you have the balls and I think it's worth a shot."
For a long time Ziva just looked at Tony, considering what he had just told her. Finally it weren't the words that convinced her but the expression on his friend's face. If Ziva wasn't mistaken, she could see sadness in his eyes and something else… maybe regret. It was something she didn't want to feel.
"All right," she nodded finally with a little smile then reached out with one hand and, pulling Tony's cheek closer to her, she put a little kiss on it. "Thank you."
"You're most welcome." A huge grin appeared on his face, clearly satisfied with himself. He, then, turned to Ziva with a serious expression. "Anything to make you sleep. I really need my beauty-sleep, you know."
"Of course," Ziva shook her head, smiling then she turned on her side and lay down, puling the cover over her. Tony followed suit and lay down, facing away from her. For a little while he was thinking back to that conversation he had with Abby all those years ago.
Finally he closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep but they shot open when he heard Ziva begin to snore. He groaned as he buried his head into the pillow. He could swear that Ziva was doing it on purpose.
McGee felt terrible… not to mention a complete idiot. Just what kind of an agent lets his boss jump in front of a car for him? Sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair of the hospital waiting room, he leant forward and buried his face into his hands. Besides, feeling guilty for Gibbs' injury, he was dreading in advance what Tony might possibly say about his little fiasco. He'd never hear the end of it.
He let out a troubled sigh just as he could feel somebody walk past him. He looked up and saw a young woman walk up to the reception desk. She was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a dark brown leather jacket. Her long blond hair was falling freely over her shoulders as she leant against the reception desk. McGee had just turned away to sink back into self-pity when he could hear Gibbs' name pass the woman's lips. His head snapped back towards the mysterious woman as genuine confusion appeared on his face.
Who was that woman and why was she asking for Gibbs?
He was still staring at the woman stunned when she turned towards the row of chairs McGee was also occupying and sat down next to him, giving him a somewhat awkward smile when the young agent just kept staring her. McGee quickly recovered after that and turned away embarrassed.
There was something in that woman that caught his attention. Well, apart from the fact that she seemed to be waiting for Gibbs, too. From the corner of his eye, he kept stealing glances at her, watching as she leant her arms on her legs, bending forward in her seat. She was fidgeting with her fingers while her feet were beating on the floor. She reminded him of Ziva and he had to smile. That same restlessness was emanating from the blond woman that Ziva usually displays when, in spite of being ready to act, she is forced to stand still.
"What are you doing here?" McGee was snapped out of his thoughts by Gibbs' sudden appearance. He quickly jumped up from his seat to greet his boss, whose arm was in a sling, with awkward stammering.
"I… Well…"
"Not you," Gibbs rolled his eyes. "You," he pointed at the woman with raised eyebrows.
"I couldn't reach you at your phone," the woman stood up, not at all intimidated by Gibbs rude manner, "so I called NCIS and guess what? They told me that you are in the hospital. You didn't even think about calling me?" Now she looked hurt and it was clear that she was worried about the older man. McGee kept silent as he observed the scene in front of him. It seemed surreal and it just became even more so when Gibbs - instead of shrugging off the woman's concern as McGee had expected him to do - stepped up to her with a gentle expression and kissed her on the forehead.
"I'm sorry," he told her sincerely and McGee's eyes bulged out of his head.
"Never apologize," the woman smiled at him which Gibbs returned. She didn't need his apology. She just wanted to know that he was all right. "Anyway, I just came to collect you. That is unless you're planning on driving yourself home because you obviously don't need me." Now she was cocky, McGee noted amused.
"Funny," Gibbs scoffed, putting his good arm around the woman's shoulder. "You just want me to tell you that I need you." The woman didn't even deny that and Gibbs didn't hesitate to lean closer to his companion to whisper something into her ear. The smile on her face left little doubt in McGee's mind as of the nature of his boss' answer. "Now, let's get out of here."
McGee could swear that the woman gave him an apologetic look as Gibbs guided her towards the exit without giving the younger man a second look. He was too stunned even to move so by the time he managed to collect his thoughts, the pair had gotten quite far.
"Uhm, Boss?" he called after the man, trying to find out what he was supposed to do now.
"You can pick me up at 0700 sharp tomorrow, McGee," Gibbs threw behind his back at which McGee just nodded. "What?" He could hear Gibbs asking the woman as they kept moving. "I jumped in front of a car because of him, the least he can do is to help me." As he looked after the disappearing couple, McGee sighed resigned to his fate and still genuinely confused about the woman's identity. Did Gibbs get a new girlfriend?
A huge grin appeared on his face.
"I tell you, Abby," Ziva heard McGee chatting away with Abby in a low voice when she arrived into the squad room, "Gibbs has a new girlfriend."
Ziva froze for a moment but she quickly gathered her acts and was able to proceed with her morning routine as usual.
"You saw her?" Abby's cheery voice reached the young agent's ears as she settled down into her chair just in time to see McGee nod with a cheeky smile. "Tell me about her!" Abby demanded, practically bouncing on the man's desk.
"Well… She's medium built and has long blond hair. And she's got beautiful green eyes," McGee told almost dreamily but when he saw the narrowed look Abby was giving him, he quickly switched to objective. "She's younger than Gibbs… way younger." Ziva frowned, pretending that she was concentrating on her computer screen. "Actually, she's Ziva's age, I'd say."
"And what is that supposed to mean, McGee?" Ziva snapped suddenly, drawing the others' attention to her. "There is nothing wrong with a larger age-difference between… partners."
"Geez, Ziva," Abby wrinkled her nose slightly annoyed. "You're acting as if we were talking about you and Gibbs." This remark left the younger woman speechless and all she could do was to blink stunned at her friends. A mischievous grin was quick to appear on Abby's face as she regarded a still speechless Ziva. "My, my, Agent David…" Her expression left little doubt concerning what she was about to say and if possible, Ziva felt even more miserable than before.
"You are having your eyes on Gibbs," she stated, that mischievous glint in her green eyes never fading. Ziva groaned, closing her eyes. Why did Abby find that prospect so amusing? What was so funny about the idea of her and Gibbs? "That is so cool, isn't it, Timmy? Oh, just imagine those little Gibblets… I bet they'd be born with a knife and that annoying smirk of Gibbs' on their tinny little lips…"
"Abby," Ziva tried to silence Abby but the Goth just kept on babbling, making Ziva grow irritated by Abby's comments which her friend hadn't meant to be insulting for sure but they hurt nonetheless. "Abby! Shut up!" Ziva snapped finally and suddenly there was deadly silence in the squad room. Abby and McGee were blinking stunned while Ziva was breathing heavily.
That was the moment when Tony arrived. After his trip to Paris he was obviously in a good mood but the large grin that he was sporting suddenly froze on his face as he took in the faces of his friends.
"Wow," he shivered theatrically. "Is it just me or it's really freezing in here?" he asked, trying to break the ice. Nobody answered him, though. McGee looked scared as he kept staring at the two women in front of him while Abby looked at a guilty-looking Ziva shocked. "All right, kids," Tony didn't give up. "What happened here?"
"I… I am sorry, Abby." It was Ziva who spoke up. "I should not have snapped." And with that, she silently went to sit behind her desk and began to work. Tony followed her with narrowed eyes then turned his attention back to Abby. He raised an eyebrow questioningly and Abby looked suitably chastised.
"I don't know what happened," she began in a small voice. "McGee was talking about Gibbs' new girlfriend he met yesterday and Ziva got all worked up and I just thought that it would be fun to tease her with the boss-man."
"Well, apparently you thought wrong," Tony gave Abby an uncharacteristically cold glance. "And I really don't think that Gibbs' personal life is any of your business, Abby. Maybe you should go back to work instead of gossiping with McGirly." After giving McGee a reproaching look, Tony turned and sat down by his desk.
Abby looked at McGee stunned, clearly not understanding Tony's attitude. She would have understood it if it had been Gibbs. But Tony? He was usually all in for the dirty little secrets of the others and he would surely not pass up on a chance to tease Ziva. She slowly walked up to Ziva's desk and stopped next to her chair then waited till the other woman looked up at her.
"I'm sorry, too, Ziva," she told her then gave her a quick hug before scurrying off. She never stopped wondering about that incident for the rest of the day.
TBC
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