Jlh!
Disclaimer: I still don't own it… maybe I can buy it…
Chibi Sakura: Start saving up your pennies, there.
Chibi Inner Sakura: ((Hahahahaha! Bet you only have ten cents!))
Chibi Kakashi: -reads book-
Me: …
Me: Damn! Only ten cents!
Chibi Inner Sakura: ((Muahahahaha! Die, fool!))
Me: Oh well. I'll just have to get off my lazy ass and get a job…
Chibi Sasuke: ((Yes! The torture shall end! She will be forced to work instead of manipulate our lives on the computer!))
Me: But then I'll have to stop torturing them! I'll have to work instead of manipulate their lives on the computer!
Chibi Sasuke: What? How- Oh, screw it. I'm not even going to ask…
Me: You... all of you... I'm so happy... you all get cookies! You reviewed... and I'm soo happy! Happy happy! -gives you all virtual cookies-
Chibi Sasuke: Swirl-chan?
Me: Yeah? -teary eyed happiness-
Chibi Sasuke: Have you seen my Heroine?
Me: No... wait... did you hide it in the cupboard again?
Chibi Sasuke: Yeah, why?
Me: YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T POWDERED SUGAR?
Chibi Sasuke: Er... no.
Me: -snatches the cookies back- I'll make some more later...
Chibi Sasuke: -groans-
Chibi Kakashi: We can't have arguments and rants all day, can we? On with the fic!
J L H 2
"SAAASUKE-KUUUUUN!"
Naruto spun around. At the door was the weirdest looking guy he'd ever seen, and weird wasn't necessarily a bad thing. His navy and white colored clothes matched perfectly with his hair. His skin was pale, sort of like a vampire. If Naruto remembered correctly, vampires were drop dead sexy. The object of his attention glared over at the girls swooning in his corner of the room, and pointedly turned his back to them. Naruto had to pick his jaw up off the floor.
This dude had a tight ass.
He quickly regained his composure. Sakura and the other girls flocked like seagulls over to the desk the guy sat in. Naruto assumed he sat there because he wanted to be away from them. By the looks of things, his plan was not working.
One of the girls, one with black hair pulled into cute, little ponytails, attempted to strike up a conversation with him. He huffed aloofly at her and ignored the fact that she existed.
'Alright,' thought Naruto, 'that's understandable. He doesn't like being the center of attention. He must get this a lot.'
Another girl stepped up to him and blabbed incoherently with a giant blush covering her face. He scoffed at her and stared in annoyed way at a random spot on the wall. Then Ino tried her luck and Naruto could tell this boy's patience was wearing thin.
When another anonymous girl offered him a stick of gum, he snapped. He calmly rose out of his seat, picked up his backpack, and stared hard at the seemingly deflated girl. She shrank under his gaze like a flower in the hot sun. Before Naruto could decipher what he said, the girl had burst into tears and he saw a smirk cross the boy's lips.
'Scratch the whole thing,' he found himself growling to himself, 'No matter how unbelievably hot this guy is, he's no knight in shining armor. He's an Ass!
'All the other dudes in this class would kill to be in his shoes! And he treats this girl like dirt!'
Naruto marched crossly over to the desk the boy moved to.
What was his name? Sasuke? Yeah, that was it.
"You!" he pointed a finger at Sasuke. Sasuke looked up, quirking an eyebrow.
"Yeah, you with the duck-ass hair!"
Across the room the group of girls gasped and placed their hands over their mouths. Sasuke waited in silence.
"How could you do that to someone? She just wants to be nice and you walk all over her like she's dirt!"
Sasuke glared into Naruto's eyes with the ferocity of a tiger whose tail had just been stepped on. Naruto was about to lecture him further when Sakura shrieked off to his right.
"Do you have ANY idea who that is?" she crowed in a shrill voice.
"Why should I care?" Naruto challenged.
"That's Sasuke Uchiha!" piped up another girl.
"Sasuke Who-what-a?" Naruto placed his hands on his hips and glared daggers at Sasuke. He didn't understand what his last name had to do with anything.
"How can you be so rude to him!" another girl squeaked. Naruto glanced over and saw the girl who tried to offer Sasuke a piece of gum staring at him with a red, tear-streaked face. His eye twitched.
"How can you be so nice to this jerk?" he pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke.
"He's really cool and really rich and I'll bet he'll sue you if he wants!"
"He can't sue me! He's not even eighteen! He's a freshman for God's sake!"
"He could too!" she shrieked, "His family owned half of the city! Then they all got murdered!"
Naruto glared skeptically at the girl as she continued to rant.
"He's all alone! His mom died, his dad died, everyone died! Do you have any idea how that must feel?"
Naruto got the feeling she was trying to make him regret what he said. It wasn't working. Surprising? Yes, but not working. He glanced over at the silent black haired boy. He had a dangerous gleam in his eye as he stared a hole through the blubbering female. He grinned a bit. Maybe the uncaring boy was sensitive about his past. Countless blackmail ideas popped into his head.
"-and he has to cook his own food, and wash his own dishes, and do his own laundry-"
So what? Naruto always did that by himself. These bleeding hearts made it sound like all this 'alone' stuff was so bad. He was alone most of his life.
"You should be ashamed of yourself! Have some pity on him!" she looked from Naruto to Sasuke and her expression changed from hatred to puppy love. Naruto bowed his head and was quiet for a moment. The girls and Sasuke mistook this as a sort of contemplation of his actions. A triumphant grin appeared on Sasuke's face.
"Pity?" Naruto raised his face with a mocking smirk. Sasuke's grin faltered.
"How lame! Sure, it's sad, but his tragic little past shouldn't entitle him to be a spoiled rotten brat!"
The girls stepped back, mouths agape.
Sasuke growled.
"You're glorifying his family's death like he's a martyr or something! He's God-mother-fucking rich! He's probably got an army of slaves at his disposal waiting to kiss his goddamn spoiled rotten Uchiha feet!"
Sasuke sat impassively at his desk. His arms were crossed tightly against his chest and he stared blankly at the wall in front of the class. His eyes twitched involuntarily and each pupil narrowed to the size of a pinhead.
Naruto tilted his head and glowered down at Sasuke, "You think you can control the world with your stupid little pity party? You may be able to enslave everyone else with your heartbreaking little story, but I'm not gonna' be your dog!"
Sasuke averted his eyes to stare into the face of the screaming blonde. To his surprise, Naruto's cerulean eyes were brimming with tears.
"You think you know what pain is? You think you're alone? Look at them!" Naruto waved a hand at the crowd of flabbergasted girls, "Look at them!" he repeated, "They like you! They adore you! They'll even give you a piece of gum for Christ's sake! All the guys probably want to be like you and all the girls act like dirt just to get an opportunity to be stepped on by you! You've got everything everyone wants! You have gorgeous eyes, expensive clothes, and a great ass!"
Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction of an inch.
Naruto was in hysterics now.
"And what do I have? I don't have perfect looks! I have no money! No one walks up to me and offers me free gum!
"My clothes are hand-me downs my mom got at the thrift store! Even though I have a mom I'm always alone, even when she's home! At night I sit outside her bedroom door and listen to her cry! You have no idea what it means to be powerless! I'm no one! I have no friends! I have no girlfriends or boyfriends! Even the cats in the alley want nothing to do with me! You should be happy you actually had a family! All I have is my mom and the only reason she doesn't kick me out of my house is because I can make her some extra money when I'm old enough! You don't know how to be sad! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!"
Naruto stormed out of the class feeling sick to his stomach.
'Why did I have to go and make a fool of myself…?' Naruto sat down around the corner, trying to gather his thoughts. He suddenly felt even sicker.
'I could've had a great year this year and I just blew it up! Now everyone hates me…' He buried his head in his knees. That Sasuke kid would kill him. No, scratch that. He'd probably hire the friendly neighborhood mafia to do it for him.
Naruto felt like dirt. He felt dirtier than dirt. He wanted to melt into the floor and disappear. Maybe he could just quit school and work at a nameless fast food restaurant or a bar. Maybe the cat-house where his mom worked was 'hiring.' Yes. He would live up to his family name and become a slut like they expected him to be.
He sighed into his bare knees and rocked lightly back and forth. He noticed his eyeliner bleeding down both sides of his face.
"Are you lost again?"
Naruto's train of thought was swiftly derailed as he looked up at the sound of a familiar voice. A tall, silver-haired man with a peculiar head band over his eye towered over Naruto, tapping the ground lightly with one foot. He recognized him as the man who helped him with the layout of the school earlier.
Immediately embarrassed, he stood up hastily and brushed out the folds in his skirt.
The silver haired man looked impassively down at his blushing face. His visible eye stared unblinking for a short period of time. Naruto regained a minute percentage of his composure and sheepishly stared at his own feet.
The hall was quiet for a long while.
The tall man lowered himself to Naruto's eye level and looked him over. When he was satisfied, he stood up.
"You look like a train wreck."
----
Sasuke meditated quietly in his chair. He was confused. Amused and confused. Hah. He marveled at his rhyming abilities.
No one, and he meant no one, ever insulted him. No one dared to rebuke the almighty Uchiha Sasuke. He was rich, he was powerful, he was scary. Everyone he'd met was either scared stiff of or hopelessly in love with him.
Not this girl. Not this nameless, shameless girl with her boyish haircut and obviously low budget. Once again, he marveled at his rhyming.
His eyes were glued to the doorway out of which the daring girl fled. He was deeply confused. He was so bewildered that he felt, dare he say it, troubled.
No one talked to him that way. Not even his mother had talked to him that way. This girl was completely oblivious to Sasuke's social status. She had no idea who he was or even who his family used to be. She must've been the only girl in a five hundred mile radius who didn't know his name, his age, his height, his weight and his favorite shampoo.
She was also the only girl in his history who didn't gravitate to and revolve around him. Everyone else was a drone. Why wasn't she? He wondered irritably if he had a zit on his forehead. He withdrew a mirror from a small pocket on his pack. When he attempted to look in the portable mirror he noticed that the same dark lock of hair he had so much trouble with that morning was still dangling in front of his nose.
"Dammit…" he cursed softly as he endeavored once again to put the untamed piece of hair in its place. As the reader would expect, it popped right back out. Dammit! It wouldn't stay! Why? Why?
He felt Sakura's eyes on him as he tried vainly to correct his hair. He scowled viciously at her and she retreated behind her wall of followers. He felt disgustingly good about what he just did.
He decided once again to let the piece of hair rebel as it would and he sank back into his chair.
School started at eight-o-clock sharp, and it was eight-thirteen. Which meant that the teacher was thirteen minutes late. How many teachers were late to their own classes?
He tapped his fingers anxiously against his mirror.
Did his hair really look like a duck's ass?
Why didn't the girl like him?
Why on earth did he care?
"What's the matter with you? Finally found what you want is what you can't have?"
Sasuke glared poison over his shoulder, "Neji," he warned, "Did you say something?"
The boy addressed focused his pale eyes on the fuming Uchiha and smiled, "Of course not, your majesty."
Sasuke was just about to say something smart when the classroom door opened once again. A mask-clad face with silvery hair and only one visible eye smiled apologetically at the class. The owner of the face pushed the door open, casually saying in a perky tone of voice, "Sorry we're late! We got lost."
'We?' Sasuke peered at the doorway as the silver haired one moved away. The short, blonde girl trudged in the door in great contrast to the whistling, hop-step of the taller man. He watched with hawk eyes as she reluctantly curled up in a chair opposite his side of the room. She glanced at him, but blushed and looked away when she found he was looking at her, too. Sasuke noticed the redness of tear-streaks down her cheeks. Why was he so good at rhyming? Holy Jesus!
"OOOOKAAAAAY!" The tall man stood on his tip-toes at the front of his room. The raven-haired boy snapped to attention. Now that he had the attention of the class, the man gleefully uncapped a red white board marker and began to write his name on the board. "Hello everyone. My name is…" he finished doodling, capped the red pen and motioned dramatically to the board, "Kakashi! And you will all refer to me as Kakashi Sensei!"
Sasuke found himself leaning forward against his desk and blinking uncontrollably at the teacher's absurd handwriting. Every single bubbly, red letter of his name was surrounded by a heart. There were doodles here and doodles there, all across the board. He felt like he had been removed from high school and put into a class of preschoolers.
He glanced to his right and was happy to see Neji sharing the same reaction. Then his eyes wandered to his left where he saw the little blonde girl smiling serenely.
She looked so much nicer when she smiled.
Okay, now where did that come from?
"Do you really like Naruto that much, Sasuke Uchiha? Or are you one of those types who just stares a lot?" Sasuke gritted his teeth and fixed his eyes on Kakashi. If looks could kill, Kakashi would've been dead where he stood. Luckily, the limbs of everyone's favorite teacher were still attached to the torso of everyone's favorite teacher.
"Kakashi Sensei?" Sakura cut in.
"Hm?" he stared at her with an enthusiastic eye.
"You're late."
Kakashi's eye assumed an indifferent look. He stood there for several minutes, hunched over with his hands on his knees in utter silence.
"What's your name, sweetie?" he asked sarcastically.
Sakura hesitated. She looked to her beloved Sasuke for advice to find that he was enjoying this torture more than he let on. She glanced at Ino, who was giving her the 'you're on your own' look. Seeing that no one would help her out, she cleared her throat and whispered, "Sakura…"
"Speak louder, girl. I can't hear you."
"Sakura." She repeated.
"In a complete sentence." He added as-a-matter-of-factly, "We are in school, you know!"
Sakura rolled her eyes, "My name is Sakura."
"My name is Sakura, SENSEI!"
"MYNAMEISSAKURASENSEI!"
"Good!" Kakashi grinned at Sakura's bleach white face, "Now then, Sakura?"
"Y-yes?"
"Sakura?" he repeated.
"Yes, Sensei?" she replied timidly.
"Hmmmmmmm…." Kakashi walked around comically with his hand to his chin. He stopped in the center of the room and turned to the pink haired girl.
"Sakura?"
"…"
"Shut up."
----
Chibi Gaara: wipes away sweat
Me: Well! That was lovely, wasn't it?
Chibi Sasuke: laughing his ass off…
Chibi Sakura: gasp Sasuke? Your… your ass… IT'S GONE!
Chibi Sakura: NOOOOO! I don't have anything left to live for! dies
Chibi Gaara: Don't worry. She'll be back.
Me: Yeah. Then maybe Kakashi can torture her more…
Chibi Kakashi: KAKASHI SENSEI!
Me: KAKASHISENSEI!
Chibi Kakashi Sensei: Good!
Chibi Gaara: Love it? Hate it? We need your feedback! It's like… beer!
Me: Yeah! If we don't have beer we'll have to survive on nothing but… food and water!
Chibi Gaara: You know the drill! Review, review, review!
