Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

The Marauder's Advice Column

Marauders:

What's the best way to humiliate a Gryffindor?

A Concerned Student

Mr. Prongs believes that the concerned student is a Slimy Slytherin and should be ignored.

Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs and believes a prank is due to the Slimy Slytherins.

Mr. Wormtail agrees.

Mr. Prongs agrees that the Slimy Slytherins are overdue for a good pranking.

Mr. Moony would like to remind the Marauders that the advice is still being monitored by Professor McGonagall, and would like to add that the best way to humiliate a Gryffindor is to pretend to be one.

Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Moony that pretending to be a Gryffindor is the best way to humiliate them.

Mr. Prongs still thinks the Slytherins need a good pranking.

Mr. Wormtail thinks that the best way to humiliate a Gryffindor is to paint Gryffindor colors in the Slytherin common room.

Mr. Padfoot is amazed that Mr. Wormtail said something that long.

Mr. Moony wants to move on to the next question.


Marauders:

There is this guy that I really really like, but he's a total jerk to my friends. What should I do?

Indecisive Girl

Mr. Prongs doesn't understand what the problem is.

Mr. Padfoot thinks that Mr. Prongs is insensitive.

Mr. Prongs does not think he's insensitive.

Mr. Moony thinks the Marauders should focus on the problem.

Mr. Wormtail agrees with Messrs. Moony and Padfoot, and thinks Mr. Prongs should get a heart.

Mr. Prongs disagrees.

Mr. Padfoot thinks that the Indecisive Girl should tell the guy her feelings, and hope that he changes.

Mr. Moony thinks Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs are both insensitive, and think the best thing to do is tell him and talk with him about the problem.

Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Moony, and thinks that you should leave him if he can't be nice to your friends.


Marauders:

How did you manage to get slime balls to follow and pelt the Slytherins?

Fellow Prankster

Mr. Moony is not willing to discuss this on a public advice column.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and advises that the Fellow Prankster should find the Marauders in person if they wish to know.

Mr. Padfoot also agrees with Messrs. Moony and Prongs, but thinks it should be obvious.

Mr. Wormtail was the test subject, and thinks that it was a very cruel prank.


Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs:

How do I get you to stop using me as the test subject?

Mr. Wormtail

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Wormtail should stand up for himself and tell us not to use him as the test subject.

Mr. Padfoot disagrees with Mr. Prongs, and knows that the Marauders will continue to use Mr. Wormtail as the test subject regardless of his standing up for himself.

Mr. Moony wonders why this question was brought up, seeing as the test subjects were always Slytherins and Mr. Wormtail just gets caught in the pranks.

Mr. Wormtail remembers now, and wishes he weren't so stupid.

Mr. Wormtail would like for Mr. Padfoot to give his parchment back, and stop posing as Mr. Wormtail.

Mr. Padfoot denies having done anything wrong.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Wormtail, but thinks it is fun to have two Mr. Wormtails.

Mr. Moony asks that Mr. Padfoot gives the parchment back to Mr. Wormtail.


Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs:

How do I get the girls to like me?

Mr. Wormtail

Mr. Moony is very mad at Mr. Padfoot for posing as Mr. Wormtail.

Mr. Padfoot would never do such a thing.

Mr. Moony knows Mr. Padfoot would and has done such a thing.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and asks that Mr. Padfoot give Mr. Wormtail his parchment back.

Mr. Padfoot disagrees, and thinks that the best way for Mr. Wormtail to get girls to like him is for him to grow a mullet.

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot should really give Mr. Wormtail back his parchment as Mr. Moony is heading over to fix the problem.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Mrauders, I wish I did though..

Author's Note: I had some great review and those really made me want to update, so thanks for the reviews! On a side note, I want to get you wonderful reviewers involded with this story, and I lack creativity, so leave a review with a good question for the Marauder's Advice Column, and it will probably be on the next chapter. Thanks!