Disclaimer: I don't have any legal rights to iCarly. Nickelodeon does, it is created by Dan Schneider.


Step ii

When you left, you didn't realize what a mess you would leave. You figured that some things will inevitably change because the world's all about fucking change. Change is normal, it's not something different and it most certainly is to be expected. For without change you end up remaining stagnant. What you hadn't expected was the lack of change. People went on about their business like it was just another day, that today wasn't the doom day that it was for you and you suppose that it bothers you, just a little. Cause despite how you act and talk, you missed her. God, do you miss her. Some days are a lot harder than others, but as time went by it got bearable. As the saying goes, it's always darkest before dawn. But what do you do if you're trapped in eternal darkness because you've managed to royally screw up the only thing that could possibly pass-off as dawn.

Carly fricking Shay always was the center of your universe and you hating her weren't going to change that. She was the norm in your dysfunctional life and even your abnormal mother can see that you aren't happy, which is pretty wacked since your mom hardly notices the difference between the cat and you. You want to tell her, your mom, everything because maybe then you won't feel this pain pushing down against your chest consistently. Maybe it doesn't even have to be your mom; maybe it could just be some random guy that's homeless and walking on the streets. Then you realize it doesn't matter, what's done is done and what you've done is unforgivable.

And that's the point; you don't ever want to be forgiven. You are aware that you're breaking every last straw you have and though not many people will understand this but somewhere in your logic it does. Destroying all hope so that maybe one day you could just live. No hope equals freedom for you; it brings you comfort and something you've only ever experienced with her, security. Without hope there is no Carly Shay.

So that's maybe why you started to behave like some five year with his head stuck up his ass and your talking way, way up there. Cause even you realize how juvenile and stupid this all this and yet you don't stop, you're addicted. Eventually you stop because everything has an end and it would just be redundant for it not to; one thing that Pucketts aren't is redundant, though the cops might say else wise.

It been days now, not that you're counting because you don't really have a proper attention-span to do so accurately. So you've settled for a month, it's been four damned weeks and you think you're getting numb. That is, until you spot her. Her deep honey-brown eyes glued to you like you're a piece of meat. Suddenly you feel hot all over, almost feverishly you look away. Right, if you can't see her then she obviously isn't there. Bull. It doesn't matter though, not after Mr. Frank comes raging out of the building and goes ape-shit on us. After he's done blowing off stream he starts weeping over his car and all you can do is roll your eyes. It's not like you are made of liquid acid or even rust. Besides what doesn't enjoy a few good bites of chocolate-chip cookies? And just as you are about to explain this theory to Mr. Frank, she comes around, trying to play knight-in-shining-armour.

She gets you off the hook with her sweet talking and by the time she turns around to smile at you, you're long gone. You never were one for thank-you' or apologies.

Gray is looking at you funny, so you start wiping your face fearing that you got sauce all over it. Cause even though Gray's one of those 'just a friend' guy, he still is a guy and a very attractive one at that too. He tells you that you're clean, but he's still got this weird borderline smug look in his eyes so you bark out a "What?" Hoping he bites.

And he does, he always does. "That Shay girl is the one we used to diss, isn't she?" You confirm this carelessly. "Why did she help us? I mean Doctor Frankenstein over there was totally going to bomb on us." He does have a point and if you weren't you, you might be just as clueless, but you are you so you shrug it off.

"Maybe she's grateful that we stopped bugging her?" You make a face right afterwards, "Does it even matter?"

"I guess you're right. She was kinda hot though, you know in that 'I'm a total virgin' sort of way." You realize right then that Gray is a total nub, he's is the nub of all nubs: king-nub because even if Carly is your EX-bestfriend, she still is by far too kind to not be defended.

"Piss off," you spit on the space right between his shoes before turning to Jessie and waving him over. "Me and Jess is gonna head over to Mrs. Kelly's apartment and chuck my chucking-eggs at the windows. Cya...nub."

He gives you this wounded-puppy dog look and for a split second you almost laugh, thinking he's Freddie. Talk about weird déjà-vu.

Maybe you should hit the hay a little earlier today, it's always nice to dream, whatever it may be about.


Author's note: I never planned for this story to be a one-shot so hence the up-date. Still just chucking these babies out without much thought so thanks for the advice guys, glad to know being Bulimic is the next Elvis Presley. Whateves, I'm just glad you guys are enjoying it. 'til next time I puke, thanks and drop a note if you'd like.