The infirmary door slid open and in came Christina, rapidly walking towards me in leather boots. I would have guessed she was used to the frail sight of me on an infirmary bed but her sorrowful expression proved otherwise.
She said nothing, silently sitting on the deep foam before embracing me as if she could hold me together. She was too late. I felt as if I was crumbling to pieces. This time Christian's hug was soft and gentle but I wanted her usual bear hugs. One that surrounded me with normality and friendship; any kind of pain to distract me from the pain I felt then. Christian sat back at the side of my bed, smiling sadly.
"You've been here so many times it must be like a second home." My mouth twitched up in an attempt of a smile. We both knew it was half-assed. "Tris, I was so scared, I thought you were finally done," she was tearing up. "I thought you hadn't made it. I was so godamn scared Tris." Her eyes watered but not one tear fell. She was Dauntless now, tears where only for the ones who actually died. "Who did this to you? Please, tell me."
My throat went dry. The swirling dream overtook my mind, Eric's piercing eyes raking through my bruising body.
"Chris..." I stopped at the sound of my croaked voice. Clearing my painful dry throat, I tried again. "Chrissy... I ... I'm not strong enough." It was as if the rising lump in my throat blocked any words from escaping.
"I get it."
I touched her shoulder before bringing her into the tightest hug I could do despite my aching body. Chrissy got the message, wrapping me in a bear hug that would have crushed my muscles into my bones. I wanted it, it was distracting. But it only lasted for a minute. Christiana must have heard my slight wince from the sharp aches.
We sat in a dull silence as automatic machines beeped pathetically.
"So our Mr and Mrs Pedrad are still crazy about each other. They had a small argument but quickly made up with kisses and god knows what! Will's fine, just training with the other initiates and talking about instructors, we were suppose to move on to the next stage of initiation..." Christina babbled. I was grateful, the still atmosphere allowed my mind to think and remember. I did not want that. "Training had been delayed for some days. There was a major disruption because of what happened to Four."
Until that point I had sat, indulging in Christina's updates on Dauntless life. Her voice was almost soothing, it made me feel safe and distracted. The word "Four" was like a shake from a dream. Like a casual realisation that stabbed me with panic. My heart sped and anxiety coursed through my blood as I sat up abruptly.
I literally jumped out of the infirmary bed, my numb soles slapping against the chilled concrete floor. I sprinted to the infirmary door despite my rubber legs. The cream coloured door slid open but it couldn't have opened fast enough. I obviously had not thought through what I was doing. All I could think about was deep blue eyes, as deep as wells. I needed to find him, I had to.
A long corridor stretched in front of me ending in a giant glass map. It had multiple silver lines crisscrossing over each other pointing to words I had not time to read. 'Tobias, Tobias, Tobias.' It was all my mind could think off. I scanned the glass frame, looking for any word remotely relatable. Check up Unit, Pharmacy, Theatre, Maternity Ward, ICU. My heart jumped at ICU. It was the only place he could be. I traced the zigzag line rapidly, losing my way impatiently.
"Tris,Tris! Wait!" Shouted a voice but I was already darting to the left stairway. I needed to find him.
I padded up the cage stairs, feeling a slight burn in my thighs. It didn't matter. I was filled with intensity that threatened to spill out of me like boiling water. I wanted to scream his name, hear his husky voice automatically calm my speeding heart. But I had to find him first.
I reached the first ground in less than a minute. 'THEATRE' it said in giant silver letters. I burst through the door before being halted by a busy hallway. Dauntless volunteers and a few blue suited people buzzed around rushing in and out of doors.
"He needs more blood, we're losing him!" Shouted one man. 'Tobias' my heart pulsed.
"Which patient?" asked an older woman in tight, leather vest.
"Patient 54, he has a broken skull from a Chasm jump." My sigh of relief was like a cooling device on my sweaty forehead.
I struggled past the packed workers, trying to make it to the next platform.
"GET THE PILL NOW, SHE'S DYING!" Demanded a voice.
"Heart beat raising by 2, 4, 6," said another.
"Quick! She's not breathing!"
I could feel the air, warm with raised body heat and panic. The intensity of the Theatre was enough to make any person nervous which was the last things I needed. I dodged through the crowd, bounding to the exit.
"Tris! Wait!" called a faint voice. It was drowned out by the manic demanding of the workers.
I sprinted up to the next platform, a self created breeze blowing of the humidity of the packed theatre. I had skipped Maternity after hearing the scream of a labouring Dauntless woman and a grizzly slap. I was approaching ICU. I skipped two stairs at a time like an excited child. I was getting close to him as my heart jerked me forward with it powerful pounding.
ICU was much quieter. There was a minimum of people and the loudest noise was the even hum of a heart monitor. The beds seemed as though they were of wires lacing around the patients into multiple machines. I wasn't Erudite but I could tell which was the heart monitor. My heart quietened rapidly, making me breathless as I padded silently around the beds. I looked at each face carefully so I didn't miss his. I came across a young boy with bright red hair and a bruised arm, an older woman with an eye patch and a man who looked like Tobias but with jet black hair and slightly tanned skin. I had nearly made it to the end of the room and I still hadn't found Tobias. I was starting to panic, my heart pounding again.
'What if I don't find him'
What if he isn't here'
'Maybe I'm too late'
'Did Eric kill him'
'I fucking hate him'
'Tobias please'
'Where are you'
'I NEED YOU'
I NEED YOU'
'I NEED YOU'
"I need you," I sobbed as a giant lump rose in my throat and stinging tears fell from my eyes. I wanted to scream out of frustration. I wanted to curse Eric to hell, where he belonged. I wanted Tobias. I needed him.
Finally, I had come to the last two beds. Blinded by tears, I peered at the first, nearly all hope lost. This face was almost lifeless but I could see the struggle of eyes behind them. It was as if an internal battle was taking place. Outside, in the real world, the ICU was quiet and slightly humid. Not one sound could be heard accept from relaxed breathing and wiring machines but the person on the bed didn't know. I looked closer at the person, their face surrounded by wires. He looked fierce from what I could make out, he wasn't giving in to the relaxing state of the other patients. He... gasped loudly causing me to jump backwards. He had deep blue eyes, as deep as wells.
