DISCLAIMER: i do not own these characters!
LILY
I walked into the living room slowly to see James lying on the couch reading a Quidditch magazine. I stood there in the doorway for a second, smiling at the familiar sight, it was always the same for James: the last update on Quidditch, sprawling out on the couch, and waiting for me to start cooking dinner. It was always the same, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Snapping myself out of my sappy trance, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to do. I knew he wouldn't take it lightly, considering last time. He was my husband and I loved him, but sometimes he just didn't know what was best. For me, at least. His opinions were clouded with past disagreements and hatred and I knew that it would take a long time for those to pass.
"James?"
He jumped slightly and turned to look at me, "Lily? What's up?" he put his magazine down and sat up to look at me properly.
"Well…" I hesitated, "I was thinking I would go and see…Snape."
James was silent. He just looked at me in a way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I could feel light heat rise into my cheeks, "I just think that I should go over and talk to him. He did make the effort to come and see me that night and I didn't really get the chance to talk to him properly, what with you attacking him and all that—"
"I didn't attack him!" James said indignantly, "I just…overreacted, that's all. I admit that it wasn't very rational of me but it was my first instinct. I mean, it's not like I had any warning that he was going to turn up and announce that he has been in love with you for forever."
"I know, James and I agree that it was a shock," I said, walking over to sit beside him and take his hand, "but that's why I think I should go and see him. I bet he's completely miserable here. He never really had any friends—"
"Yeah, I wonder why." James muttered, but I ignored him.
"—and I think that it would be nice of me to at least go and try to sort it all out. He was a good friend to me for a long time, James and I at least owe him that."
He sighed and looked away from me. I could practically see his brain working and I guessed that he was weighing up the pros and cons. He stood up suddenly and started pacing around the room. "I still don't know, Lils. I mean, he's in love with you! I don't exactly want to go, 'Sure honey, that's fine' and send my wife over to spend time alone with someone who was secretly pining over her for 30 years. Not to mention the fact that he hates my guts. I just—I don't know."
He stopped and looked at me, "It's not that I don't trust you, Lily, because I do. I just don't trust him."
"James, I appreciate your concern, but I'm going to be fine." I said softly as I stood too, "I'm only going over to talk to him. He knows I don't love him, I love you and I'm not going to let him take advantage of me or something."
He nodded slowly, then his head shot up, "I'm coming with you."
I stared. That was certainly not what I was expecting. I was expecting the unwillingness and the worrying, but I wasn't waiting for him to invite himself along. "Why do you want to come? I would have thought that you would want to stay as far away from him as possible."
"Well, I do kinda." He sighed, "But I want to be sure he doesn't try to put any moves on you or something." He laughed when I made a face at the thought, "And I guess it wouldn't hurt if I came and tried to get the straight story. Last time I was just so mad that I didn't really listen to anything good he had done. I should try and make a civil conversation at least."
I smiled, touched at how he was making an effort to speak to someone he tried to continuously curse all through school. "Okay, you can come. But try not to lose your cool this time, alright?"
I eyed him carefully and he laughed, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door, "Lily, you make me laugh."
I took a deep breath and raised my hand to knock. I looked at James just before my fist touched the dark wooden door. "Are you sure?"
He smiled, "Lils, I'm fine. Well, as fine as I can be when I am voluntarily visiting Snivellus. We are not telling Padfoot about this. He would think I've gone mad."
I laughed and knocked three times, "You're right. He would probably avoid us for days, thinking we had caught something bad. And please don't call Snape Snivellus, it's very rude."
"If you insist." He grinned.
I didn't even get the chance to roll my eyes at him because the door was opened and Snape's head stuck out to see who it was. His eyes widened when he saw me and he stared for a second before he seemed to realise that there was someone standing next to me. When he noticed James, his eyes narrowed and he instinctively shut the door slightly.
"Lily…Potter," he shot a glare at James who stared right on back, "What are you doing here?"
"We're playing knock and run and we forgot the running part." James snorted sarcastically before I could answer, "What do you think?"
"James!" I hissed and he looked slightly regretful.
Snape sneered, "I don't know, Potter, do enlighten me to the reason of your visit with your oh-so-amazingly witty and compelling humour."
He went to shut the door, but James stuck his foot between the door and the wall. "Okay, sorry. Old habits die hard."
"We came to see you." I jumped in before Snape could make another offensive comment. "We wanted to talk to you about…that night. I felt like I should make the effort to speak to you, since you made the effort to speak to me. I am sorry for the way we treated you—"
"I don't need your pity." He said to me, but he was glaring at James.
"I'm not here out of pity." I snapped, my stubbornness coming out, "I wanted to see you. And James wanted to at least make an effort to get the story since, well you remember last time."
He stared at us with no expression on his face at all for a minute, before silently holding the door wide open to let us both in.
His house was bigger then it looked from the outside and was a lot brighter then I had assumed. I only managed to see the front hallway which was lit with bright lights on the white walls, not a picture in sight (it was all rather blinding) and I only got a glimpse of a small, shiny white kitchen before James and I were being ushered into his living room.
He sat on one brown leather couch and James and I sat opposite him. There was an uncomfortable silence for a long moment before I timidly said, "I was just wondering, how much did we miss out on hearing that night? I just got the feeling that although you were there to say something else, there was something you were not telling us. That there was more to the story, I mean."
"Well, you didn't really seem like you wanted to hear it. Plus, I didn't really get the chance to say what I wanted to, what with your violent husband here—"
"Watch it, Snivellus." James said forcefully, "I am trying to make an effort to be civil to you, for Lily's sake, but if you're not going to reciprocate that, then I am fine with reverting back to the old ways. I might even call Sirius or Remus to come and help me. Does that sound like fun to you?" When Snape didn't answer, he continued, "Look, I am willing to put our past behind us for the moment so that I can hear what you have to say about my son. That's all I'm here for."
There was another moment of tense silence as Snape thought over his options. I knew that he was really tempted to just kick us both out, but I think I could tell we were sincere.
"Well, seeing as you made the effort to come here, I suppose I should tell you the basic story. I won't go into too much detail because it is a very long story, and some parts I'm not very proud of," he hung his head for a moment before looking back up at us, "But it was all for you, Lily. I knew it was my fault that Voldemort went after you and I never forgave myself for doing that. You were nothing but kind to me, even after you started dating him" he struggled to keep that hatred out of his voice, but I could see that he was at least making the effort, "and I…well I was in love with you and yet, I was the reason you were dead."
I couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable again with him admitting that his feelings for me had been far more then friendship after all this time. I never noticed and I felt kind of bad that I had been so ignorant, but I knew that I would have never felt the same things back to him, so it was a little bit of a moot point.
Although, if we had continued to be friends after 5th year—if he hadn't called me the name I hated so much in front of most of the grade—maybe, just maybe, I would have found it in my heart to feel that way too.
But it didn't happen that way, and to be honest I was glad. I discovered, after many long years of hatred, that I actually loved James and that we were so happy together. Then Harry came into the world and even though I left it soon after, he would forever be the most important thing in my life and I knew I had to get over my discomfort with this conversation for my son's sake.
"Severus?" he looked slightly startled at me using his first name, "Can you please tell us your story?"
SNAPE
"…even though I begged, Voldemort had no use for me anymore, so he set his giant snake Nagini on me." I was almost finished telling my story to Lily and Pot—James. Ugh, it almost hurts to say the name. All those years of hatred can't really be ignored, even for only one night.
They had taken it all rather well, only asking a few questions now and then. I was rather nervous to tell them my story, especially Lily, because I didn't know how they would take it and what they would think of me afterward. Would I be seen as a pathetic loser, like I had forever been in Hogwarts, who did anything he could to not forget his love and to try to rid himself of guilt? Or would I be a brave man who risked his life for his love's son, even if it meant standing at Death's door for most of his adult life?
Somehow, I couldn't see James Potter thinking of me as a hero. That was always his area, but I hoped that they could appreciate what I did for Harry. Or what I tried to do. With him still alive, I have no way of contacting him or finding out what he thought of me from my memories. I don't even know if he managed to collect them properly. I think he did, seeing as The Dark Lord was vanquished.
"The snake bit me all over my face and neck, and it was an excruciating and torturous way to die, as I'm sure Voldemort intended. I collapsed and the snake disappeared but I knew that I had no chance in seeing another day, so I lay there quietly, waiting for my time to come.
"Suddenly, Harry was there, leaning over me. I don't know how he found me or how long he had been there but I decided then that I wanted him to know what I did for him. I wanted him to not think of me as his hated Potions teacher or the man who murdered Dumbledore—I wanted him to see me as someone who thought he was doing the right thing, but afraid of the consequences. So, with my last ounce of energy I released all my memories, letting them flood out of my mind. I could barely feel them come out of me and I could only assume Harry took them because then it went black, and I was up here."
There was stunned silence.
The Potters stared at me wordlessly. And I couldn't take it. I didn't want this to go on. It had been hard enough to sit on the opposite couch to the woman I love and her husband and tell them what I did for their son. I couldn't take sitting in the same room with her anymore without shouting my heart's desires to her.
I stood up and they did the same. In silence, I walked to the door and they followed me. I opened it, and they both stepped out to leave, hand in hand. They turned to face me and say some kind of thank you or farewell, though none of us knew how to phrase it.
Suddenly, Lily let go of her husband's hand and hugged me tightly. I was so shocked at first, all I could do was stand there. But then I managed to regain my senses and lightly wrap my arms around her, still very much aware of the fact that James was still standing there, but not glaring daggers at me, as was his habit. I had been over 20 years since I had any physical contact with Lily and it brought back a wave of emotions that threatened to crush me. I gently pushed her away to see her smiling tearfully at me.
"Thank you Severus." She whispered, "I know how hard that must have been for you to tell, but that only makes you braver. I admire you for your commitment to keeping my son safe and your courage. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
"I owed it to you to help him." I muttered.
She shook her head, "You didn't owe me anything. You were always my friend, even after we didn't spend time together anymore, and I never forgot how nice you were to me. I never blamed you for my death and I know James didn't either. You had no control over who Voldemort chose."
"She's right." James said, stepping forward, "We never blamed you. But now, after hearing all that, I must admit I will forever be in your debt for helping our boy. You were very…brave," he seemed to struggle putting the word and me together, "and I can't thank you enough."
He stuck his hand out for me to shake and I felt like I would fall over from shock. James Potter was thanking me? I never knew I would see the day. Pulling myself together, I briefly shook his hand before letting it go.
He dropped it just as fast and I could tell that although we had come to an agreement of sorts, there were too many years of rivalry and resentment to be cleared in a few hours.
Potter cleared his throat, "And I'm…sorry…for reacting the way I did when you first arrived. It was irrational and I should have listened to what you had to say first, so I'm sorry." He swallowed hard and I had the urge to smirk at him and rub it in his face that Perfect Potter was apologizing to me.
Luckily for him, Lily was there so I held off from the gloating. I just nodded and he understood that I knew what he was talking about.
Lily smiled at me and took James's hand, "Thank you, Sev." Then she turned away from me without looking back.
Little did they know that I carefully left out from my story the fact that the last thing I saw before the blackness over took me were green eyes, staring right into mine. I knew they were Harry's but they were also Lily's. Those beautiful eyes that had sparked a life of pain and rejection and continued to haunt me for 20 years. Staring at those eyes, I imagined it was Lily staring back at me, begging me not to leave her.
And, because I was looking into those emerald eyes, I died happy.
A/N: sorry it took so long for this chapter to go up! being the genius that i am, i put the first chapter up before i had exams so i couldn't write anymore for two weeks! but it's all over now so everyone can stop stressing! :)
hope everyone likes the calmer reunion between Snape and James and that they came to an agreement.
PS if anyone has a suggestion for what they want me to write, they are welcome to tell me. If you feel like i skipped over some kind of reunion or something i would like to see what you think.
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