My truck was a senior citizen. That was no secret to anyone in town. Made in 1953, my Chevrolet pickup truck was my only transportation unless I was interested in my father dropping me off and picking me up at school in a police cruiser. We all know nothing slows traffic better than a cop car – and staying in a confined space with my father at this point in my life was not something I was looking to do more often than I had to.
Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely adored my truck. I don't know why, but the orange color, the rust, the peppermint scent mixed with oil... It was the essence of me. Far from girly and not afraid to get dirty. Obviously, my massive truck was also a survivor despite any accident or almost-accident it managed to get itself into, much like myself.
Pulling into the school parking lot, I got the same curious stares I had been getting since the first day as my truck roared and puttered into its typical parking place. We weren't assigned parking spots; this particular one was just always free, probably because it was so far away from the doors to the school, but I didn't mind walking. It occupied my time so that I didn't have to converse with anyone.
Mike, Eric and a few other guys were all crowded around Tyler's van as I climbed out of my truck, shutting the door nosily behind me. Six months earlier, every guy standing at that truck would have been tossing pieces of liquorice at me or hollering to get me to join them at their morning hang out before classes began. Even though I never joined them, it would be nice if they still did that. Anything other than the pointless stares and quiet whispers I got as I walked by. Today was different, however, and not in the good liquorice-throwing way. Today instead of hushed whispers that I was unable to make out though knew were about me, I heard a name, their last name, to be exact. Everyone knew better than to mention them around me, hell, everyone knew better than to mention them at all.
Glancing towards the guys that had been discussing the most talked about and most avoided family in Forks; I tried not to stop dead in my tracks. Stopping to hear a conversation about the people that quite literally ruined my life would only prove to everyone at school and in town that I hadn't moved on. Even though it was evident that they already suspected this, I don't think I was quite ready to prove their theories correct. Sadly, my coordination was nothing without my full concentration and my eyes focused on exactly where I was stepping and exactly where I was stepping to. Though there was no ice on the ground, my feet managed to slip on something (or nothing), sending me falling backwards onto the cold, wet pavement of the student parking lot. Normally Mike, Tyler or Eric would have come to my rescue, but things had changed. It was as if they were too scared to talk to me, let alone come close enough to physically touch me. My cheeks were a deep shade of red as I picked myself up off the soggy ground, completely disgusted at the feeling of my jeans sticking to the back of my legs – completely soaked through. I'd have to endure a few classes sitting in these jeans before they'd eventually finish drying. Brushing myself off, I took those few moments to keep an ear out, as their conversation that was dropped upon my falling had resumed.
"I heard they came back." I could tell Mike's voice from the other's far too easily. It was as if he were purposely trying to speak loud enough for me to hear to judge my reaction. I guess the countless times I had rejected him in the past didn't drill it into his mind.
"Jessica said she seen Doctor and Mrs. Cullen earlier this morning." Eric's voice was much faster than Mike's; he was truly the eyes and the ears of this place.
"You can't trust everything Jessica says." Tyler was talking in a matter-of-fact fashion. "Knowing her, she probably saw a couple that kind of resembled them and stretched it into a massive story about the Cullen's big return. It's not like she – wait... Isn't that Rosalie's BMW?"
The thought of them returning after six months of silence reminded me of the same feeling I experienced when in the presence of blood. My knees weakened, my heart dropped, my breathing picked up as if I were gasping for air. A nauseating feeling set in the pit of my stomach while at the same time I grew light headed. Everything in front of me was spinning so quickly I didn't have time to turn around to validate the car that they suspected was Rosalie's before I hit the ground. My vision blackening, though not before I heard what one could only assume was my head bouncing off the pavement.
"Bella! Bella!" I heard my name being called, I knew it was one of the three guys I had once associated myself with though my head was spinning so quickly (even after falling) that I wasn't able to place a face to the sound of their voice. "Bella, can you hear me?" Yes I could hear him. He certainly wasn't doing wonders for the splitting migraine coursing through my head.
"Mmhmm." I couldn't find my mouth long enough to form actual words, so I settled with sounds as a response. It was better than nothing. It was more than these guys gave me over the past six months.
"Bella, you fell. I think you hit your head. Mike's on the phone with an ambulance, they are going to come and get you. I'll come too. It'll give me a reason to cut class." The speed of the voice talking to me indicated that it was Eric currently hovering over me. I could feel his hands gripping my upper arms as if he were readying himself to sit me up, though he never did. I assumed he was too scared to move me, in fear I had broken my neck. Something that wasn't so hard to believe, knowing me.
"Mmm, no... No ambulance." I wasn't sure if he could understand my mumbles and murmurings, I could barely understand them myself. "Just fell, nothing broke."
"Bella, you need to see a Doctor. You might have hurt yourself, let's be safe about this, okay?" I groaned loudly in detest, shaking my head gently in refusal. Of course, I shouldn't have even thought about doing such a thing, for the moment I did I was sure my head was going to roll off my body entirely.
"Ugh, ow." I opened my eyes to see a crowd of students (and even a few teachers) standing over me. I didn't want to waste time assuring everyone I was oaky, mainly because I had something else on my mind, so I pushed every ounce of pain and discomfort that I was feeling out of my mind. I ignored the dazed feeling that set over me as I sat up, and forced my eyes to focus as best as they could. Countless hands were grabbing at my arms, placed against my back and holding my sides. Apparently a lot of people realized just how clumsy I was, and knew that the probability of me taking a tumble directly after standing to my feet was quite high, though I didn't falter.
Mike had picked my schoolbag up off the wet pavement and tossed it over his shoulder despite me holding my hand out to acquire it. I tried to look at him in confusion, though only managed to wobble slightly on my feet. Apparently turning my head to face him was too quick of a movement. I was quite grateful for the multitude of hands holding me up at that point.
"If you're not going to get in the ambulance, at least let me take you home Bella." I didn't want to go home. Hell, I didn't want to be anywhere near Mike right now. I opened my mouth to protest that, though was quickly silenced with a warning look from Mike as he slipped his arm around my waist to hold me up steadily. "You sure have a knack for falling, Bella." There was laughter in his voice as he spoke, something I missed quite a bit without realizing.
"I blame Forks." The look I got from Mike as he slowly began walking us away from the crowd made me feel as if he thought I was talking nonsense, clearly disoriented from the fall. In reality, I was just horrible at cracking jokes, especially after accidents and in awkward situations. "The ground's all uneven here. It's unnatural." He nodded, finally cluing into what I was trying to say.
"Forks certainly isn't your everyday town, is it?" It was odd hearing this from someone who didn't know what I knew. I wondered if Mike would rephrase that at all if he knew that there were vampires and wolves around, even attending our school at some points.
Mike leaned me carefully against the car he often borrowed from his mother, taking a few moments to place my schoolbag safely in the backseat and start the car for heats sake before helping me over to the passenger side. It was quite embarrassing to have to lean on Mike Newton of all people, though I didn't exactly have much choice at this point.
"Is your dad home or do you need me to call him?" I shook my head gently as I climbed into the passenger seat with Mike's help, my cheeks turning a deep red as he put my seat belt on for me, obviously thinking I was unable to do something so simple for myself. "I don't mind staying with you until your dad gets off work. You're not supposed to sleep for two hours after hitting your head or something like that. You'll need someone to keep you awake." I noticed Mike's face went white in fear that I had taken his generosity in another way all together. "I mean... entertain you. Talk to you, to keep you awake...not..."
"I know." My voice was tired, uninterested. "I'm actually not interested in going home, would you mind driving me down to La Push?" I didn't need to explain what for; Mike had been introduced to Jacob a couple of times in the past. Though they didn't really know each other, they seemed to like each other more than they liked Edward. I cringed upon remembering his name. "Are the Cullen's really back?"
Mike decided to wait until after he closed the door and made his way into the driver's seat to answer me, pushing the car into drive. "That's what I've heard... I haven't seen any of them for myself, but we did see Rosalie's car in the school parking lot. If Doctor and Mrs. Cullen took her back, chances are Emmett and the rest aren't far behind." I knew that he was likely right. If Rosalie was in fact in town, Emmett likely wouldn't have let her come alone. The two were just as attached to the hip as any other couple in their family.
I wasn't looking at Mike as he spoke, nor was I looking out the window. I feared that if I moved my head to make eye contact as he spoke, my head would go all light again and I'd surely vomit in his mother's rather pristine car. If I looked out the window at the constantly moving scenery that we passed, I knew my chances of fighting back the nausea I felt would fail. Throwing up both in front of someone I used to be close with, and in their mother's car was surely more embarrassing than taking a typical tumble.
"I'm surprised you don't want me to take you over there, to check it out for yourself. I thought that you'd have been the first person they called to let know they were coming back to town... Have they kept in contact with you at all since they left?" I could tell Mike was taking this one-on-one time to ask me all of the questions everyone had been whispering, dying to ask me themselves but were clearly too afraid. "I mean... you were really close with them, weren't you?" I could feel the hole in my chest being stretched open.
"Things change." I didn't want to get into detail about why they left, nor did I want to touch on the lack of contact on their behalf. It was bad enough my boyfriend, my best friend and the family they belonged to that I was so close with up and left town in one day without any warnings. I didn't want to think at all about the fact that they didn't even call to check in on me... to let me know that they were okay. That part killed me just as horribly.
"Yeah, I guess."
I could tell we were getting closer to the reservation. The smoothly paved road was getting rockier, indicating we were quickly approaching a dirt road that lead to the rez. My mind was quickly occupied (mainly by force) at the thought of seeing Jacob. We didn't have plans to meet up today, though I found myself in desperate need of my best friend. Both Jacob and I had grown incredibly close over the past six months, something I hadn't expected in the slightest. I knew he was the only thing holding the pieces of myself that they Cullen's had left behind, together. I knew without him, I'd be as dead as the leaves polluting the ground. Anytime I knew I was going to be able to see him, the hole that had been stretching itself out over the past six months seemed to numb. For a few moments at least, I was just a girl again.
I was beyond thankful that Mike didn't bother picking up the hurtful conversation, instead choosing to stay quiet. I was even more grateful to see Jacob's house pull into view as Mike moved into the short driveway. Jacob was peeking out the window from behind the mismatched curtains, trying to figure out who's car was in his driveway, though didn't seem to mind it belonged to Mike of all people once he saw me in the front seat. I returned his massive smile.
"Do you want me to help you inside?" Mike had his hand on the door handle, ready to jump out at my command. I shook my head gently, carefully. Mike moved away from his closed door, instead leaning into the backseat far enough to grab my schoolbag for me. "Want me to carry this in for you?"
"No, it's not too heavy." I took my schoolbag from Mike's hands, faking a grateful smile as best as I could. I could tell by the amused look on his face I probably looked terrible – I was never good at lying or faking anything. "Thanks for driving me here, I -"
"Do you need me to pick you up? I don't mind. I can tell Mr. Banner about what happened, I'm sure he'll have no problem with me cutting class." It was evident I was an excuse rather than a priority.
"Jacob can drive."
"Alright, well... You have my cell number if you need me. I'll leave it on in class just in case."
"Thanks Mike."
I reached out to open the door, though found my arm unable to locate the door at all. In fact, my hand was outside, I could feel the cold air stinging my bare hand. I could hear Jacob's deep laugh, the musical sound of it pulling a smile across my lips before I even looked over to him.
"Didn't feel or even hear me open the door, did you Bells? What, did you fall and bump your head this morning?" I could feel the car shaking as Mike joined in the laughter, my eyes darting to him in warning. He must not have noticed, for he decided to sell me down the river anyways.
"Actually, she did! Tripped on air in typical Bella style and bonked her head off the pavement. I was going to take her to the hospital, or at least home but she insisted on coming here."
I slowly pulled my glare away from Mike and looked up at the ever growing Jacob innocently. His dark brown eyes were narrowed, burning down into mine. It was obvious that he wasn't exactly pleased with me, I couldn't blame him. I was just glad that he wasn't like Edward, consistently blaming himself for my own faults. Instead, he pointed the blame where it belonged, on me.
"You hit your head?" His question was earnest, almost as if validating the rumour he had just heard.
"Yes." I nodded my head, unable to help but relate this to an interrogation. I got quite a few of those from my father over the past year. He had spent his whole life being a police officer; he sometimes forgot how to question someone as a normal human being.
"How hard did you fall?" I could practically hear the worry setting in.
"I'm alive, aren't I?" I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't a surprise or a shock to me that I had fallen and hurt myself. I did it every other day; it really didn't make a difference. I had always been clumsy, and I will very likely always be clumsy.
I felt Jacob's warm hands on my shoulders, leaning me forward so that he could expect my head for himself. I obliged, not wanting to jerk away in fear I'd either tumble out of the car or vomit. His fingers pushed my hair around extremely gently, trailing along my scalp in search of a bump or abrasion. I adored the warmth of his touch – especially on such cold, rainy days like today.
"Bells, you're bleeding." I felt my gag reflex kick in automatically. "Calm down, it's not bad." I hated when he spoke to me like I was a child. I was older than him, after all.
"Hardly bleeding at all." I could feel Mike leaning over the seat to inspect for himself. I felt like an animal having tests and studies performed on me while people observed and poked at me with sticks. "I've seen worse."
I knew the moment Mike said those words that Jacob was going to start getting cranky. Jacob was quite protective over me, especially after the Cullen's had up and left. He knew the significance of something as small as a paper cut could inevitably lead to my death. A bump on the head to Jacob might as well have been a near death experience.
I was going to jump into the conversation before the two started tearing at each other's throats, though the light feeling I had been experiencing all of a sudden increased. I moved my hands out to grip the seat, feeling as if I were floating but there was nothing there to hold onto. Glancing around, I took notice to the fact that Jacob had all too easily lifted me out of the car and was carrying me close to his chest. The heat of his body didn't protect me from the rain, but it certainly shielded me from the cold. My schoolbag was flung carelessly over his shoulder as he kicked Mike's door closed as gently as possibly for someone as huge as Jacob was. I waved good-bye to Mike, getting a small wave in return as he pulled out of the driveway and sped down the dirt road leading back to Forks. Obviously trying to show off what he assumed were awesome driving skills.
"I can walk, you know."
"Like that does you any good, Bella. I'd trust Billy's walking skills before I trusted yours." I glared up at him for that comment. He only smiled victoriously in return. I had to admit, he was getting quite good with his comebacks. I suppose in some ways he really was older and more advanced than me.
The steps leading up to Jacob's front door creaked as he carried me up them, a sound I loved and had memorized over the last six months. Inside, the house was incredibly warm, welcoming. Usually Billy was parked in front of the television, though today that spot seemed to be vacated. Knowing Jacob's father, he was likely out and about with mine.
I knew that Jacob was going to set me down on the sofa in the living room well before he did. It was my home away from home, nestled into the old cushions that smelt just like he did. I never needed nor requested blankets while in Jacob's house. His body acted like a space heater, heating whatever room he was situated in almost instantly. I bet Billy enjoyed that during the cold seasons. Definitely a penny saver.
"I'm going to grab you a pair of sweats. A t-shirt, too." He stood in front of me even after stating that, as if he had asked a question.
"I don't need them, I'm almost completely dry." I didn't want to unzip my raincoat in case that movement set me off, so instead I stayed in the layer of noisy, crinkling material.
"I'd give you something to press against the back of your head, but it's pretty much stopped bleeding." He must have noticed my face turn white at the mention of blood, for he cringed in apology. "Wasn't that bad anyways. Want something to drink? Eat?" I shook my head slowly in refusal. "Want me to call Charlie, let him know what's up?"
"No!" My voice was almost repulsed sounding. The last thing Charlie needed was to be worrying that I had screwed myself up anymore than I already was.
"I still think Mike's right, Bells. You should at least see a doctor. Why didn't you let him take you over? Charlie didn't have to know."
"Because I was scared." I couldn't stop the words before they escaped my lips. I was so used to telling Jacob everything since we had grown close that it didn't even dawn on me to bite my tongue in this instance.
"Scared? Scared of what?" I watched Jacob move from the leaning position he was in against the wall, straightening his body out in a threatening sort of way as he crossed his arms over his muscular chest. I couldn't help but smile at how slightly adorable his attempt at being manly was.
"It's nothing." I didn't feel like upsetting Jacob over the rumours I had heard today. The last thing I wanted was to start fighting with my best friend. The one person left in the world I relied on.
"You're lying."
"I know."
"Just tell me, I can handle it."
"I know."
"Bella..." I rolled my eyes. It wasn't fair how easily I gave into him; I barely even put up a fight.
"I was scared that Carlisle might have been there..." Jacob looked at me as if I had gone completely insane. I probably had.
"They've been gone for six months, Bella. He doesn't even work there anymore."
"I know that, I just heard things today that make me believe otherwise."
"Things? Like what?"
"Things like... they're back."
I heard a deep, guttural growl from behind Jacob's lips before it even surfaced. I was used to his animal side sneaking out every once in a while even though he was still in his human form, though his growling was usually caused by Paul or Embry giving him a rough time. Not by something I ever said or did. I didn't know that I had it in me to make Jacob this angry. I was both slightly amused and mildly intrigued.
It was a long few minutes of silence between us before I decided to rearrange the position I had been sitting in. It didn't really spark a conversation either about the topic at hand or a new subject all together, but it was a distraction for the two of us. I wasn't sure if I was willing to be the first to speak, especially after already cursing myself up and down for bringing the rumour up. Perhaps it would just be best to let Jacob cool himself down and talk when he was ready.
It didn't take him long at all to move himself to the side of the living room that I was occupying, sitting down in a lazy-boy chair that was generally in front of the sofa I sat on. I felt a smile tug on the corners of my lips as I took notice to just how insignificant Jacob's massive form made the reclining chair look, though such observations didn't block me from noticing the permanent scowl etched on his face.
"What, does he think he can just prance back into your life like nothing happened?" I winced at his words. I hadn't even thought about what was going to happen if the Cullen's were in fact in town. My lack of comment on his statement only seemed to fuel Jacob's anger. "You're just going to let him, too, aren't you?"
I hadn't thought about it. I loved Edward, everyone knew that. The people we went to school with, the teachers that witnessed us side by side in class. Our families and close friends... Everyone knew just how much we meant to each other... or at least, did. I had come to terms with the fact that the Cullen's may or may not be back in town, though I hadn't gone past that concept. What would I do if they were back? Would I let them back into my life as easily as I had the first time around? Would they even want to see me, or would they rather live in solitude? Did they come back because Edward had changed his mind, or was Forks the only place they could go and live a normal life without people finding out what they were? I had so many questions that would remain unanswered, ad for god knows how long. Gaining answers would mean throwing away the past six months long enough to approach them. I didn't know if I was that strong, I didn't know if they were even going to stick around.
"I haven't really thought about I-"
"I knew it." Jacob shook his head furiously, his large hands gripping the arms of the chair. I worried for the fabric, in fear it would tear. "You're such a masochist, Bella. You'll let people hurt you over and over again, and for what? Do you enjoy it?"
"No!" This time it was my voice that was furious. "How can you even think that?" Of all people, Jacob knew the most about what happened between Edward and I, and the true reasons for why the Cullen's had up and left town. He knew and experienced the pain I had been put through over the past six months because of it, and he had the audacity to accuse me of enjoying it? "Obviously I made a mistake in coming here. I thought I had a best friend, now I'm not so sure."
"Don't even start with me, Bella. You came to me when the Cullen's left. I took care of you, I protect you and this is how you repay me?"
"I don't need protecting, Jacob."
"The back of your head says otherwise..."
I was positive that my body was shaking in anger by this point, my body moving to stand up before my mind clued into its plan. I wasn't staying in the same room as him, not right now. Jacob on the other hand, didn't quite understand what I was doing until I had walked straight past him and out the front door and out into the pouring rain.
I hadn't gotten very far at all, only a few feet past his driveway when I felt him burning by my side. I was walking as fast as my legs could carry me but it didn't seem to matter. Jacob was able to keep up easily, making me curse his most recent growth spurt. I refused to look up at him; I refused to slow down to a stop. I needed away from him.
"Bella, hold on."
"Leave me alone, Jacob. I have nothing to say to you." My hands were balled up into fists at my side as Jacob moved himself to stand in front of me, effectively blocking my way. I wasn't stupid; I knew there was no way around him. "Get out of my way, Jacob."
"Listen! I'm not going to let you run back to that bloodsucker! He doesn't deserve you, Bella! He left you!" I could feel his warm hands gripping my shoulders, refusing to let me past despite my struggling. "What would you even say to them?! You know they're just going to end up packing up and leaving again!" I didn't care. I just needed to know, for myself.
"I'm going back to school, I have a test."
"No, you're going back to school because you know he'll be there."
"I just need to know, Jacob... I can't spend all day wondering, it'll drive me insane."
"It's better than you seeing them and breaking all over again."
"That's your theory." I despised that Jacob assumed he knew everything about my situation. I wasn't even sure if Jacob had ever ha d a girlfriend, let alone a soul mate. Perhaps if he had, he'd know what it was like.
I was still struggling against his grip, though to no avail. It was evident he was getting fed up with the amount of effort I was trying to put into escaping him to run to Edward, his actions and his grip on my arms were getting rougher as his anger progressed. I winced at the force he was putting into holding me back, knowing I would surely have hand-shaped bruises on my upper arms for a good few days. I'd have to make sure to war long sleeved shirts around the house and at school. The last thing I needed was anyone in town – my father included – thinking I was being abused.
"Bella calm down! Stop thrashing, you're going to hurt yourself." I refused to listen, and Jacob had given up on holding me by my arms, instead stepping behind me and wrapping his massive arms around my torso. My legs were kicking furiously at the air.
"Let. Me. Go!" My voice was a loud shriek; I wouldn't be surprised if I was drawing attention to the two of us.
"How are you going to get there, Bella? It's quite a walk, you know that. I'm sure as hell not driving you, and if you call Charlie, I'll tell him why you're at my house rather than in school where you're supposed to be." Blackmail, touché.
"I'll walk, now let me go!" For some unknown reason, Jacob decided to listen to me now of all times, dropping his arms from around me. I hit the ground, flinching at the pain of my skin scraping against the wet rocks. My knees and palms stung, indicating I'd have even more wounds to tend to once I got home, though they didn't stop me from picking myself up and continuing my walk just as quickly as I had been before Jacob interrupted it. I didn't care how long it took me to get back, I just had to know.
