Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. He also took the part that acknowledges that I do not own Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" or Purell. The part that says I own Raven and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.
A/N: This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!
And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .
Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
Scene 1: Canceled Dreams
Raven and Lightning walk in to find all the cast in neat little lines, all in the proper costumes. Raven is pleased.
"Well, isn't this a nice surprise!" she exclaimed.
Apocalypse nods at her.
She grins. "Thank you, Nur."
"Ah hate this dress," Rogue mumbles.
"Don't worry," Lightning tells her.
"You won't have to wear it long," Raven says.
"Yes," her boyfriend agrees. "Elizabeth wears pants a lot of the time in this movie."
Rogue grins, "Well, that's good news."
Raven smiles at the neat lines filled with very scared little cast members. She hands the same power inhibitor from the last play back to Rogue, who's very happy to see it. "I guess there's nothing left to do but begin the play."
"Let's start then," Lightning says merrily.
"Lights!" The lights come on as if by themselves. "Camera," the camera turns on as if by magic. "Action!"
The rain is falling on what remains of a beautiful banquet. The rain is heavy, thanks to Storm, making the sound of bells against the hand-painted china teacups. Beside the banquet is the remains of what had been a rather elaborate wedding. The sheet music drenched and barely hanging on to the stands in front of seats where earlier had sat musicians. Rogue sits in a wedding dress, holding her bouquet and staring in front of her absently. It's obvious from the look on her face that the rain had not been what ruined her wedding.
The scene changes and Pietro is sitting on an IAR horse. (1) The IAR horse is sitting on a boat, rowed by several random soldier extras. There are dozens of boats. The flag waving above the ships they've come from show the symbol of the East India Trading Company.
Rogue is still staring into space while they pull the boats onto the shore and the random soldier extras fill the streets. Rahne is watching from the doorway, but is pulled back, out of the way and the door is shut. Pietro rides in front of the soldiers as they stand at attention.
A man walks into the ruined wedding aisle.
More random soldier extras fill the streets.
Rogue looks back toward the man who's appeared.
The soldiers are headed towards Mr. Smith's Blacksmith shop. They knock down the doors.
A handcuff falls open in a random soldier extra's hand.
Rogue runs past the man.
Random soldier extras are leading Remy in chains. She runs to him. "Remy! Why is this happenin'?"
"Remy don't know," he replies. She trying not to cry. "You look beautiful."
Rogue smiles for an instant and then the frown returns, "I think it's bad luck fer the groom ta see the bride before the weddin'."
"Make way! Let me through!" Xavier cries out as he pushes the wooden wheel chair through the crowd of extras. A couple of random soldier extras bar his way with spears. "How dare you!" He looks to Pietro, "Stand your men down at once! Do you hear me?"
Pietro turns around and shrugs his coat off, handing it to Bolivar Trask. "GovernorCharlesXavier, it'sbeentoolong."
"Pietro Maximoff?" Xavier says, pretending to be surprised.
"It'sLordnow, actually," Pietro says with an unscripted-grin. He nods at his men, who remove the spears.
Xavier wheels through. "Lord or not, you have no reason and no authority to arrest this man." He steeples his fingers.
"Infact, Ido," Pietro informs him, "Mr.Trask?" Trask opens a briefcase-like thing and Pietro pulls out a warrant. "ThewarrantforthearrestofoneRemyLeBeau." He hands it to Xavier.
Xavier looks at it and Rogue, who is holding onto Remy's arm, looks helplessly at Remy. "This warrant is for the arrest of Anna Xavier."
"Oh,isit? Howannoying. Mymistake." He pulls out another. "Arresther."
Random soldier extras follow his orders. Pietro is really enjoying this part.
"On what charges?" Rogue asks.
"Non!" Remy growls, trying to stop them while he's bound and she's dragged away from him.
"Aha!" Pietro exclaims, "Here'stheoneforRemyLeBeau. AndIhaveanotheronefora Mr. Scott Summers." he reads the name louder, slower, holding the warrant above his head and stepping forward. "Ishepresent?"
"What are the charges?" Rogue demands.
"Commodore Summers resigned his commission some months ago," Xavier explains.
"Idon'tbelievethat'stheanswertothequestionIasked," Pietro says snootily.
"Lord Maximoff," here Remy and a lot of the crew start laughing.
"What is the problem?" Raven growns.
""Well. . . calling Pietro Lord Maximoff is just too funny," Remy explains.
"Ithinkthetitlekindoffits," Pietro says, puffing out his rather thin chest. "PietroMaximoff, LordofSpeed!"
Raven rolls her eyes. "Can we just get back to the play?"
Remy nods, still laughing. When he calms down, he tries again. "Lord Maximoff," he manages with a giggle. "In the category of questions not answered. . ."
Rogue cuts him off, "We are undeh the jurisdiction of the king's governoh of Port Royal and y'all will tell us what we are charged with." She speaks with more authority than Pietro can muster.
Professor Xavier sees fit to answer her question, "The charge is 'conspiring to set free a man convicted of crimes against the Crown and Empire and condemned to death, for which the'. . ." he stops reading and his lips trembles.
"Forwhichthepunishment, regrettably, isalsodeath," Pietro finishes. He steps forward into Remy's face. "PerhapsyourememberacertainpiratenamedSt.JohnAllerdyce?"
"Captain," Remy and Rogue say in unison. Off screen, Scott screams in terror.
"Captain St. John Allerdyce," Rogue insists.
"CaptainSt.JohnAllerdyce," Pietro repeats. "Yes, Ithoughtyoumight."
The scene changes. It's now dark and the wind blows eerily across the Black Pearl, knocking the riggings back and forth. Off stage, Logan is chanting, "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum." The ship creaks and the sails billow in the creepy dark night. Logan comes walking on the deck, still chanting, "Drink and the devil had done for the rest. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum," here he pauses, laughing, to take a swig of tea from the rum bottle he's carrying.
Out of the cold, black night the loud sound of a large brass bell tolling reaches his ears. He jumps, as he wasn't expecting it, and looks behind him, spooked. A bird caws above him and his eyes follow the sound.
A flock of IAR ravens are flying above him, the likes of which haven't been seen since Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds." He shudders, without knowing why.
The camera follows the IAR birds now as they fly towards the gong-like ring of the bell, cawing. They are flying towards a rather steep archway. Torches line the dark mountain going up the archway and over the bridge to the other side. It's a prison. A dark, dreary sort of prison. The kind of prison you know upon entering, you will never leave.
Warren's voice is heard, "prisoners, come on!"
A line of random extras answer his call with moans of agony. They are dirty, wounded, tired and chained together. The gloom of the place breaks even the last shred of spirit they had left. At the end of the line, two random prison guard extras drag a random extra along. He's too weak to stand and the fear in his eyes radiates out. He screams at every bump, too weak to try to escape. His legs are chained as well. Cages line the entrance of the prison. Inside are random extras, some alive, some barely alive, most are dead props, long dead. . .
It is to these cages the IAR birds come, to the meal they sense inside them, to the smell of death. Those who are alive scream in terror as the IAR birds peck the flesh from their bodies. Well, technically, it's make-up, but it looks bad. The IAR ravens peck and pull and the flapping of wings and the fear and the screaming is too much for the dragged random extra. He screams as the pull him the last of the way into the prison and shut the gates behind him. It's an ominous sight. The huge wooden doors that take two large random extras to close them, locking the prisoners in, to die.
Further down the coast, away from the cliffs, the random prison guard extras are hard at work. They've taken a heavy cart, loaded with coffins, and dumped it's contents onto the coast. Now, they are lifting the mostly empty coffins and tossing them into the ocean. This too is a dark and foreboding sight. They lift, carry and toss in a seemingly endless routine.
The coffins float away gently tossed by the waves until they will eventually sink or reach some distant shore.
After a distance, when the waves are quieter and naught can be seen but the other coffins, the salt water and the moon, an IAR raven flies into view. It lands on one of the coffins and knocks. The blast of a blank gun feels the air, but the IAR bird just sits there.
"Okay, okay, why didn't the bird blow up?" Raven growns.
Forge looks hurt, "All this time, you're telling me to keep them from exploding and now you want it to blow up?"
"Yes, because Pyro needs air! Fix this!" she shouts.
Forge backs away and pushes a button. This time when the blank gun goes off again, the IAR raven explodes, leaving a hole in the coffin and a ton of feathers.
Pyro sits up, gasping for air and a rather angry glare in Forge's direction.
Forge simply shrugs, "Sorry, man."
Raven also glares at Forge. He's interrupting, and we all know how she feels about being interrupted.
Pyro lays back down and sticks the gun through the hole, moves it around the coffin cautiously, then sits up. He pulls out his hat, straightens it and puts it on his head, feeling the thrill of being a pirate again, and such a pirate! He looks around for something to use as an oar and sees nothing. Sadly, he reaches in the coffin. "Sorry, mate." He breaks off the leg above the knee and pulls it out. "Mind if we make a little side trip?" He uses the decayed limb as a paddle and rows toward the waiting ship. "Didn't think so."
Logan reaches a hand to help Pyro on deck, but his hand is instead filled with the leg-oar and Pyro climbs up by himself. Logan looks disgustedly at the leg and tells him, "Not quite according to plan, bub."
"Complications arose, ensued, were overcome," is Pyro's rather ridiculous response. He walks off, not intending on giving Wolverine any more of his time.
Logan isn't satisfied and he feels like he knows what Pyro's answer means better than Pyro does. He hands the leg-oar to Piotr who grimaces, and follows our resident fire-worshiping pirate. "Ya got what ya went for, then?"
"Mm-hm," Pyro barely responds, waving a bit of rolled up canvas in the air. He turns around and stops.
He stops because Sam, Blob and a handful of RPEs (random pirate extras) are blocking his way. Leech is siting on some crates. Piotr has also followed after dropping the leg-oar into the ocean and washing his hands with Purell. Logan continues, "Captain, boy that sounds weird."
Lightning groans, "Just say the line, Logan."
Logan starts over, "Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more. . . shiny, what with the Isla de Muerta going all pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it."
Sam agrees, "And the Royal Navy chasin' us all around the Atlantic."
"And the hurricane," Leech cries out.
"Aye!" the crew yells. Scott whimpers and sucks on his thumb while Jean rolls her eyes and pats his back.
"All in all, it seems some time since we did a speck of honest pirating," Logan remarks.
"Shiny," Pyro says.
"Aye, shiny," nods Logan.
"Is that how you're all feeling, mates?" Pyro asks. "That perhaps dear old Johnny is not serving your best interests as captain?" His words are slurred as if Pyro has been drinking heavily.
Sam looks around. No one wants to say anything.
The IAR parrot squawks and says, "Walk the plank."
Piotr instantly clamps the IAR bird's beak shut as Pyro draws his blank gun. "What did the bird say?" Pyro yells it.
"Don't blame the bird," Sam sighs. "Show us what's on that piece of cloth there."
Just then the IAR skeleton monkey drops out of nowhere in front of Pyro's face, screeching. Pyro screams and tries to shoot it, but his blank gun misfires and the IAR monkey grabs the canvas and runs. Pyro grabs Sam's gun and shoots the IAR monkey. Hit, it tumbles across the deck, dropping the canvas.
"You know that don't do no good," Logan growls, more than a little annoyed.
"It does me," Johnny growls back, imagining lovely little burning monkeys.
Leech jumps down and grabs the canvas, which is now open and stares at it, confused. "It's a key."
"No!" Pyro exclaims, "Much more better." Jean cringes at the misuse of grammer, but knows better than to say anything. Pyro continues, "It is a drawing of a key." He sways as he speaks and slurs his words.
Our mutant crew is highly confused. They all step closer and look at the drawing that Pyro has snatched back from Leech.
"Gentlemen," Pyro says, in his best speech voice, "what do keys do?"
Sam starts, "keys. . ." Logan, pretending to be confused by Pyro's picture, looks back at Sam, who continues, "unlock things?"
Logan looks back at Johnny, "And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks."
"No," Pyro disagrees, pointing at him.
Logan shakes his head.
Pyro walks up to him, "If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?"
"So, is anyone else completely confused?" Bobby asks.
"No, Bobby, you're the only moron around here," Jubilee exclaims.
"I'm confused," Evan says.
"That goes without saying," Raven chimes in.
Bobby glances at her. Her eyes are glowing eerily. "Interrupting again, huh?"
She nods.
Bobby quickly says, "shutting up!"
"Good. Logan?"
"So we're going after this key?" Logan asks.
"You're not making any sense at all," Pyro states. He looks at the rest of the crew. "Any more questions?"
"So. . ." Leech tries to think up one. "Do we have a heading?" He asks excitedly.
"Ha. A heading," says our insane pyromaniac. He takes out his compass and looks at it. "Set sail in a. . ." The compass needle is spinning in every which way. ". . . general. . . " after moving his hand in circles for a while, he decides and points to his left, "that-way direction."
"Captain?" Logan says, still confused.
"Come on, snap to and make sail. You know how this works. Go on! Oi, oi, oi!" Saint John orders as he pushes his way through the crowd to his cabin.
Leech makes his way to the rails and Logan follows, "Have you noticed lately the captain seems to be acting a bit strange. . . er?" He shrugs.
"Setting sail without knowing his own heading," Logan nods his head. "Something's got Johnny vexed, and mark my words, what bodes ill for St. John Allerdyce bodes ill for us all."
The ship sails through the fog in a general. . . that-way direction, just as John ordered.
The scene changes and a random extra paints on a giant wall map. We are now inside Pietro's office. Two random soldier extras walk in and stand at attention by the door. Warren leads Remy in. Pietro is looking over some paperwork with Boliver Trask.
Warren announces, "Lord Maximoff," here he giggles, "the prisoner as ordered, sir." Another giggle follows.
Pietro glares at him. "Thosewon'tbenecessary."
"What? T'e chains or t'e giggles?" Remy asks.
Pietro deadpans, "neither."
Warren removes Remy's chains while Pietro pours a decanter of tea into a goblet.
Pietro turns to Remy, "TheEastIndiaTradingCompany hasneedofyourservices." He offers the glass to Gambit, who merely glares back. So, he sets it down and walks around. "Wewishforyou toactasouragent inabusinesstransaction withourmutualfriend CaptainSt.John."
"More acquaintance t'an friend. How do you know him?" Remy asks.
"We'vehaddealingsinthepast," Quicksilver explains. (2) He holds up a red hot brand in the shape of the letter P. "andwe'veeachleftourmarkontheother."
"What mark did he leave on you, homme?" Remy demands.
Pietro stares at the now-cool brand with a faraway look in his eyes. "Byyourefforts, St.JohnAllerdycewassetfree." Pietro sets the brand down and walks back to Remy, ignoring the question entirely. "Iwouldlikeyoutogotohim andrecoveracertainpropertyinhispossession."
"Recover. At t'e point of a sword?" Remy asks.
"Bargain," Pietro counters. He goes to find a box with the symbol of the East India Trading Company on it and opening it, pulls out an official looking leather folder. "Lettersofmarque." He says, holding them up. "Youwillofferwhatamountstoafullpardon. St.Johnwillbefree, aprivateerintheemployofBayville." He opens the pardon and looks at it.
Remy hardly seems amused, "Somehow Remy doubts Johnny will consider employment t'e same as bein' free."
Pietro scoffs, "freedom. St.JohnAllerdyceisadyingbreed," he states, walking out onto the balcony. Random soldier extras march in formation up and down the docks. "Theworldisshrinking, waytooslowly, butshrinking, theblankedgesofthemaparefilledin."
"Enough with the adlibbing Pietro," Lightning whines.
"But. . ."
"No buts," Raven growls, "or I'll sick him on you." She gestures to the silent, waiting figure in the darkness.
Pietro gulps, "Um, yeah, wordforwordscriptreadinghere!"
"Thank you," Raven and Lightning both say. Scott start crying. . . again.
"St.JohnmustfindhisplaceintheNewWorldorperish," Pietro says. "Notunlikeyou, Mr.LeBeau."
"Mr.LeBeau be Remy's pere," Gambit growls, having followed Quicksilver to the balcony.
Pietro growls at the interruption, "Youandyourfianceefacethehangman'snoose."
"So you get Johnny and t'e Black Pearl."
"TheBlackPearl?" Pietro asks.
"T'e property you want t'at he possesses," Remy states.
"Aship? Hardly," Pietro says. "Theiteminquestionisconsiderablysmaller andfarmorevaluable, somethingAllerdyce keepsonhispersonatalltimes. Acompass?" Remy remembers and looks out to the harbour. "Ah, youknowit." Pietro leans in and says, "Bringbackthatcompass orthere'snodeal." He nods and leaves Remy standing on the balcony, watching the random soldier extras march up and down the dock.
"And cut!" Raven exclaims.
"HowcomeGambitcanadlib andIcan't?" Pietro practically screams.
"Do you really have to ask that?" Lightning groans.
Raven simply raises an eyebrow.
"Howcome?" He insists.
Remy smiles at the directors, "Because la fille is a Daddy's girl."
Raven smiles at him, "Exactly."
Julien groans, "Dis is ridiculous."
Remy turns on him, "You want ta start somet'ing?"
Julien gets defensive, "I always be ready ta start somet'ing!"
Rogue rolls her eyes, "Can Ah take off the dress yet?"
Raven nods, "Yes, but don't destroy it. We need it for several more scenes."
Rogue groans.
Kitty comments, "Well, you watched the movie, you should understand."
Rogue nods, "But understandin' and wantin' ta do it are two very different things."
Kitty giggles.
Fights are beginning to break out, well, besides Julien and Remy. Piotr and Lance are fighting over Kitty, again. . . Scott is arguing with Kurt. Fred is just trying to eat. Tabby and her Dad are fighting and a few props are being destroyed. Mystique, Xavier and Magneto are arguing. Calisto and Storm are fighting and soon the whole set is drenched. Not to mention one or five petty little fights on the side.
Raven groans, "I knew this would happen. . . It always happens."
Lightning pipes up, "What happened to 'Nur will solve everything?'"
Raven points to the corner where Apocalypse and Mesmero are arguing too, "That's what happened!"
Lighting sighs, "Oh, well, then, let's just leave now."
Raven agrees and off they go, leaving the destruction behind.
To be continued. . .
A/N: (1) Sorry, folks, no Rob/Ray horse this time.
(2) ROFLOL – Quicksilver explains. . . oh my goodness. . . too funny. Sorry, back to reality.
Seriously, did not mean for this to take so long, but I lost my aunt and my grandpa in one month and the same month my daughter very nearly died. So, I've been trying to let myself grieve a little or my writing wouldn't be very funny. Incredibly sorry, I've also started a new job and burnt my hand while I was writing this! Oi. Anyways, here it is. These may take a while to write because the chapters are long.
Next up, Jean-Luc makes his debut!
