AN: Wow I am so happy I decided to start this story over winter break, so hopefully I can get the story going before school's back and my updates will be more spaced out. Oh and also, thank you FanfictionWoman2000 for giving me the idea of using Finnick's POV. Anyways, here's chapter 2!
Finnick's POV
I can't see where I am. I don't, can't, feel anything. All of my senses are obstructed as I float through misery and darkness. Then I hear it, like I'm still in that cruel, cold monitoring room for the Games. I hear her endless screams of pain and agony. Then I see a screen. It turns on, displaying her gruesome death. As the arena flooded with water, shark-like mutts were sent after her. They surrounded her, though she was unaware of them, just staying afloat, trying to outlast the other tributes. Then she is attacked. Her limbs are ripped apart, one by one, as she screams for me to help her. But I can't. I can't help her, and I can't look away. I try to close my eyes, but even then, I still see her dying. I want to raise my hands to my eyes and scrape them out, but my limbs are paralyzed. Then blood begins to leak from the screen, her blood. The reeking, metallic scent fills my sinuses. I feel it, fresh and warm, pooling around my feet. And her screams… calling me to help her as I watch the mutts rip open her chest and eat her heart out… the screams don't stop, even after the canon fires. My senses are on overdrive, surrounded by her death. Her blood is rising to my mouth, and I begin choking on it. I close my eyes, trying to keep the blood from them. I drown in her blood, until something starts shaking me. Suddenly I can move. I grip my attacker firmly by its neck.
Then I open my eyes and see…Mags. I come back to reality. I sit up in bed, wondering how long Mags has been standing over me, trying to wake me up from another one of my nightmares. I must have been screaming pretty loudly, too, if she heard me from her house, even if her house is right next to mine. Then I see that I left my window open. And it's the middle of the night.
"Umm… Thanks, Mags. For waking me up." I say, my voice hoarse. She just nods knowingly, kisses my forehead and leaves the room. She knows I just need to be alone now, but sometimes I wish someone would stay with me. Being a victor, I often get these nightmares, but no one in my family is willing to stay with me and sacrifice their sleep. My father chose to live outside the Victors Village, but Mags is almost like a mother to me, even though she doesn't speak due to the stroke she had a few years back.
I think about my nightmare. It was so real. It was like Annie was dying again, yet I was helpless to save her. The pain is fresh, like she died just yesterday. I know it was really several years ago, and being her mentor in the games, all I could do was send her gifts. It was beyond my power to save her, but I never go through a day without thinking of her. Annie, whose laugh was full of life. Her eyes, deep blue like the ocean we would swim in. Her smile, bright and radiant like the sun.
I can't believe that I had held on to the hope that she might survive her games. The President knew I loved her. Snow was probably just worried that she might get in the way of my…work… in the Capitol. I remember thinking that they had thrown her into the games on purpose, but would still let her compete like everyone else. I should have known better.
Annie went mad shortly after her district partner was beheaded, and hid for most of the games. I kept her alive, but knew she would never be the same again. When the arena flooded, I had foolish hope that she might be able to outlast the other tributes. She could swim well, and could hold her breath even longer than I could. And then they sent the mutts. That was when I realized that the Capitol had never intended for her to live in the first place. They gave me hope and then snatched it away to show their power, I guess.
The rest of my night was restless. My mind was numb with grief. I tossed and turned, but I couldn't stop thinking of my dream. How real the screams were. How powerless I was to do anything. The Capitol was so cruel. Damaging me beyond repair on the inside, but forcing me to wear a mask of seductive charm for the cameras as well as my… clients. I stared at the ceiling, shadows dancing before my eyes. I started to drift into sleep, but forced myself to stay awake, fearing another nightmare. Soon, the sun broke the horizon , coloring the ocean peach, yellow, pink. The color streamed through my open window giving everything in my room a soft orange light. Annie loved the sunrise. She used to always wake me up early so we could sit on the beach and watch it together. I remembered one morning, the soft light of the sunrise had illuminated her face, making her look like an angel. That was the day we had our first kiss together. ..
The memory is too much though. All my pain from losing her surges back and hits me like a harsh blow. The tears surge forward, and I sob for almost an hour, whispering her name. My mind is flooded with memories of her. But eventually I have to pull myself together. I can't let anyone in District 4 know how broken, possibly crazy, I am.
I get dressed and head downstairs. I think of eating but I'm not hungry. I think about going down to beach for a swim, since swimming always seems to clear my mind. I quickly eat a small breakfast so that I have some energy for swimming, but I don't hold it down. My mind is still occupied with Annie. After a while just staring out of my window, I decide I'll just go see Mags, maybe apologize for waking her, even though I don't need to. As a victor, she understands my nightmares. I'm sure she has some of her own, though not as frequent as mine.
I walk towards the door, but notice a small note that must have been slipped underneath. How long has it been here? How could I not notice it until now? Maybe Mags left it on her way out. She always writes down her thoughts since she can't speak. But she wouldn't leave it on the floor. I've always known her to be extremely neat and organized.
Hesitantly, I pick up the note and read it. All that's written there is a phone number, and the letter H. I wonder who could have sent this. The paper isn't tough and neat like the stuff in the capitol. It seems thin and uneven. I walk over to the phone and dial the number. I immediately recognize the harsh, slightly slurred voice on the other line.
"Uhhgh? Finnick? That you?" says Haymitch, the… unlikable victor from 12.
"Haymitch?" I ask, slightly surprised, but my voice has it's unpleasant edge that comes out when im not wearing the Capitols mask. Why would Haymitch want to contact me?
"Well hello there, Pretty Boy." He says, sounding…amused? "Not in the Capitol, huh? No girls around?"
I hear a cautious undertone in his voice. Whatever he wants to talk to me about, he doesn't want anyone hearing.
"Just me. What about you? Any alcohol around?" I say, slightly offended. I would do anything to stay away from the Capitol for the rest of my life.
"Good. And only a little alcohol. Now, do you have any idea why I've called you?" He asks. "Or did Snow break it to you first?"
Snow? At first I think he's talking about… clients. But why would Snow tell Haymitch about that? "Excuse me, but I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. But if this has anything to do with Snow, I don't want to be involved."
"Was I asking, Pretty Boy? I don't think so. I need your help with a certain situation, with Snows orders, may I add, and the last thing I need is complaints. Besides, you probably have the most experience in this, anyways." He says, any prior humor in his voice gone. I hope this situation is fishing related and not, well, sex related.
"Look, Haymitch, whatever this is, I'm certain I don't want t-"
"Listen, Pretty Boy, I don't want make you do this," He says, his voice slightly softer, "but you're going to have to comply, or else Snow wi-"
"Will what!? He already took Annie from me, I'm already his slave! He already killed my mother and my little sister! Why don't you just ask him to kill me, huh? That would be a lot easier for me, and at least then I won't have to keep lying to every girl in the Capitol." I'm hit by a wave of nausea, and spots dance before my eyes, so I sit down. I know I'll have to do what Snow wants, because there's still Mags and my father. "What do I have to do?"
"That's more like it. Now I'm sure you're familiar with our latest victor, Katniss Everdeen?"
"No. If you're asking me to sleep with-"
"I haven't asked you anything yet. But to answer your question… well, that's a yes and a no." He says quickly, "Katniss, well in the Capitol… she's been quite… desirable. Snow would have had her working as soon as she left the arena, but she doesn't… have any experience. The only time she's ever even kissed a boy was in the arena, and even then she was just acting."
"So what are you saying?" I ask, "You want me to… to…" I'm scared of what he wants me to do, because I have a feeling that this won't be just another one night stand.
"I'm sorry, kid," He says with real sorrow in his voice, "You and Johanna… you'll be mentoring Katniss. It's six months until her Victory Tour. Once she gets to the Capitol, she'll be starting."
"Johanna?" I say. She quit her work only a month after she started, "She's not exactly the helpful type…"
"Don't worry about that, I have it covered." He says, chuckling, " you know they're not allowed to drink in District 7, don't you?"
I sigh, "So when am I supposed to head to 12?"
"Tonight there'll be a train to 12. Don't worry, no one will be asking questions, the peacekeepers have been informed that you'll be leaving. The train's at midnight, so I doubt anyone will see you leave."
"Alright…" I say, but there's still a single question lingering on my mind, "Haymitch… does Katniss know that I-"I stop myself. Everything about it is so wrong, even though I do this all the time. But this is still different. Both of us will be forced.
"I'm working on it…" he says cautiously "just go… go pack your bags. Remember, midnight"
And with that, he hangs up. I'm left sitting with the phone in my hand, and I just stare at it, and whisper, "I'm so sorry, Katniss…" as if she can hear me.
I pack some clean clothing into a large bag, but I figure I won't need to bring too much with me. I do, however, pack the last piece of Annie I have left. A seashell attached to a woven leather necklace. I remember when she found it. We were diving in the depths of the ocean, just a week before the reaping that doomed her. We found countless beautiful things beneath the ocean, but it wasn't until we reached shore that we found it, laying perfectly, without a crack in the sand. We both reached for it at the same time…
I stop the memory. I need to push Annie out of my mind if I'm to… teach Katniss. Thinking about her will only make things harder. I shove the necklace in the bottom of my bag before heading to Mags' house. Her house smells sweet, like coconut. I find her inside weaving a blanket. She sees me and smiles, and then writes a note.
Get any sleep?
"No," I say honestly, surprised she can't see how tired I am. I tell her about what Haymitch just told me, and before I can even finish she gives me a warm hug before writing,
Finnick, I know you don't want to do this, but just… remember what you feel in your heart. I don't expect you to understand now, but you will eventually.
And sitting on my train, heading to 12, I don't understand. I try to get even a restless nap, but I can't. My mind wanders but I can't focus on anything. I settle for watching the world fly past me in the window. Eventually, I pass out. I'm awoken by an Avox at about 4 in the morning. I managed to sleep, if only a few hours, without nightmares, so I'm pretty disappointed. Yet I know I'll need to get to Haymitch quickly so no one sees me. I quickly stretch and before I know it, find myself knocking at Haymitches door.
AN: And there's Chapter 2! I hope you liked it. Please review because I am open to new ideas and would love your input! c:
