In the villains' hall, Bowser and Ganondorf laid sprawled on the turtle shell patterned area rug of of the Koopa King's bedroom. It was an uneventful day, and the villains were growing restless.
"Man, this place is so boring now!" Bowser groaned. "There hasn't been anything fun to do since Master Hand forbid us from kidnapping the princesses!"
"We could go after that Wii Fit chick. The rules don't say anything about fitness trainers?"
"Ugh, no! She gives me the creeps. What about Palutena?"
"I've dealt with goddesses before. We'd have better luck with Samus."
"Then forget kidnapping; we need to do something more original!"
"How bout you call your kids over? Maybe they can come up with some ideas."
"I already got them working on their own projects. What about Ghirahim?"
I'm still mad at that little creep for involving himself with the Warios' TV hijacking the other day!"
"Oh, star spirits! I'll never be able to unsee that!"
Ghirahim materialized in front of the villains. He had his nose held high in a snobby fashion. "Well excuse me for wanting to have some fun in the name of fashion once in a while, Master!"
"You call that fashion?! I call that high-octane nightmare fuel! And stop calling me 'Master'!"
"Fine, but I won't tell you about a certain evil wizard who could make things quite interesting around here."
"Say what?"
"Hm?" the demon lord opened his eyes slightly while keeping his nose held high. "But I thought you said you wanted nothing to do with me."
"I said I'm mad at you! That's not the same thing! Now tell us about this wizard!"
"Well, his wardrobe is a bit drab, but he has a power so frightening that even the strongest of souls will cower in fear. It's quite ghastly!"
"It's not that mud stain on your cape, is it?" Bowser smirked.
"MUD?! Oh, that will NEVER wash out!" Ghirahim shrieked and disappeared again.
"Forget about him," Ganondorf said. "I think I know who he's talking about."
The Gerudo King led Bowser to an empty section of the battlefields that has seen very little traffic since the Melee season came to a close. The villains came upon a dried up fountain high in a night sky. Platforms that were once supported by flowing waters were now lying on the ground.
"The Fountain of Dreams? Why would he be here?"
"I overheard Meta Knight discussing some evil wizard who turns dreams into nightmares a while back with Master Hand." Ganondorf explained as they approached the pedestal in the center. "No idea how Ghirahim would have found out about it, but it's worth a try."
"So how do we get him out?"
"How the hell should I know?"
Bowser pulled a Star Rod from his shell. "We could try this."
"Those things are all over the place! If they can unleash some terrifying evil, why does this world hand them out like candy?"
"I've yet to hear you offer any better ideas."
They placed the item on the pedestal. They stood silently for a few moments, but nothing happened.
"Any other bright ideas, oh wise Koopa King?" Ganondorf sneered.
"Shut it, Ganondorf! My head's cramping."
A black mist sprayed from the pedestal, engulfing the fountain in darkness. The darkness dissipated as the mist gathered back to the center and formed a starry orb.
"Well, that was easy."
"A ball?" Bowser snorted. "I thought you were supposed to be terrifying! You don't look so tough!"
The orb rose and morphed to his wizard form, glaring at the two villains behind his shimmering sunglasses. The wizard opened his cape and launched a barrage of stars at the villains.
"Hey, cool it Hornsy! You've made your point" Ganondorf called out as he and Bowser dodged the wizard's stars. "We just want to talk!"
The wizard ignored the villains' diplomatic pleas and rammed into them, narrowly missing the Koopa and Gerudo.
"Sheesh! Whoda thought Kirby faced things like that on a regular basis?"
Bowser retaliated. "You're asking that while we and a bunch of other weirdos are currently stuck in a world different from our own, beating the snot out of each other for the amusement of a floating pair of gloved hands?"
"Touché."
A new voice called out. "There is no talking with Nightmare!" Mewtwo teleported to a platform near the villains.
'Oh, great,' Ganondorf thought. "What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be back until spring!"
"Meta Knight blackmailed me to watch over this stage, to make sure Nightmare doesn't escape. And as interesting this is getting, we cannot let him stay out much longer." Mewtwo tossed the villains what appeared to be an empty Assist Trophy case.
Ganondorf caught the object and stared at it with a scrutinizing scowl. "What is this?"
"You two started this mess, and now you have to clean it up or else no one in the Smash Mansion will have a good night's sleep!"
"Since when do you care?"
Sonic was watching some crappy reality show when the screen went black with white text belched out by a Commodore Amiga.
EEEEEEEERRRRRRRR… EEEEEEEERRRRRRRR… EEEEEEEERRRRRRRR
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS TRANSMITTED AT THE REQUEST OF SMASH MANSION PERSONEL. AN INVASION OF FANGIRLS IS CURRENTLY TAKING PLACE ON THE SMASH MANSION GROUNDS. ALL RESIDENTS OF THE SMASH MANSION ARE ADVISED TO TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU ARE EMO, EDGY, BISHOUNEN, OR A SWORD FIGHTER, YOU ARE MOST AT RISK OF BEING GLOMPED. EVACCUATE THE GROUNDS IF IT CAN BE DONE IN A SAFE MANNER. CONSIDER THESE GIRLS TO BE RABID AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. CONTACT WITH THEM MAY RESULT IN SCRATCHES, BRUISES, RIPPED CLOTHING, HAIR PULLING, WEAPON THEFT, AND TEMPORARY DEAFNESS.
STAY TUNED TO THIS STATION FOR FURTHER UPDATES ON THIS DEVELOPING SITUATION.
EERRP…EERRP…EERRP
"Heh! Good thing I'm not a swordsman or bishounen!" Sonic hopped off the couch and was about to head back to his room when he found his path blocked by a crowd of young women.
"IT'S SONIKKU!1"
The hedgehog tried to scramble to a safe place in the rec room, but was jumped by another girl hiding a cabinet. He screamed in terror as he drowned in the wave of screaming, clamoring fangirls.
"Just throw the damn capsule!"
The Gerudo king chuckled darkly. "This is the perfect opportunity to spread some mayhem, and you think we're going to pass it up?" He held up the empty assist trophy case and squeezed it until it shattered.
Mewtwo looked on with an unreadable gaze as a blinding light blazed through the cracks and engulfed the fountain. A deafening screech could be heard.
Once the light and scream faded, the smashers saw the trophy case sitting on the pedestal, intact, but Nightmare was nowhere to be seen. Mewtwo chuckled darkly as the dumbstruck villains stared at it, wondering what happened. "Were you expecting the Assist Trophy Capsule to capture Nightmare the same way a PokéBall catches Pokémon?"
"You tricked us!" Ganondorf pointed to the psychic Pokémon accusingly. "This was your plan all along!"
"Perhaps," Mewtwo lifted the trophy case with his telekinesis. "But you now have your new villain to join your circle. That is why you two came here in the first place, am I wrong?"
Ganondorf clenched his fist. "Dammit, Mewtwo! First you foil our princess swapping scheme, and now this! Whose side are you on?!"
"Fine" Mewtwo snapped. "Look, I'm sick of everyone lumping me with the villains just because of that stupid movie. I'm not evil! Just a jerk! I could have simply stopped you from breaking Nightmare's seal, but I was feeling generous, so I decided to let you two have your villain. However, it's too dangerous to let a creature with Nightmare's powers roam freely, so we devised a special capsule to convert him into an Assist Trophy, suppressing his powers when summoned in battle."
"Hold on! Who is this 'we'?" Bowser asked.
"I can answer that." A new voice with a heavy Spanish accent joined. Meta Knight leaped from a branch in the background of the stage, landing in front of the trio. "Everyone in Dream Land thought Nightmare had been destroyed years ago, but some time between the Melee and Brawl seasons, he had somehow managed to return. We couldn't risk disrupting the natural flow of dreams to seal him again, so we lured him into this replica fountain in the world of Smash Bros. We knew that there was still a chance that someone would break that seal, so we made a back-up plan. You didn't catch that part of our discussion, did you, Ganondorf?"
"ZZZZZ huh? Are you done with your long-winded exposition?"
"-sigh- imbeciles!" the knight grumbled.
"So, does this mean this stage is finally no longer limited to Project M use?"
"Ahahaha-no!" Meta Knight chided as he grabbed the trophy case from Mewtwo and leaped off the fountain.
Back at the mansion, Luigi curled up in a fetal position in a corner in the hallway, rocking back and forth, babbling incoherent words. Sonic, who had been caught by Jigglypuff's sing, approached Luigi looking rather perturbed. He had red teardrops drawn down his cheeks. "Hey, Luigi, do you know where I could find some brain bleach?"
" !" the younger Mario brother wailed his arms until he passed out.
