Notes: This is the point where the differences in Gaara and Naruto really start to stand out. Gaara wants answers, Naruto wants acceptance. The lengths they're willing to go to get those respective things is another matter, though.

The Nature of Love

A Naruto Fanfic by

Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)

Chapter 2: Ramen Bowl for the Soul

Day 2 in Konoha

Once Kakashi and Anko had been separated (and even then only after Anko had buried a kunai into what turned out to thankfully be a Kakashi Shadow Clone), the Sandaime Hokage had been able to move on to the actual reason he'd asked them all to come to his office.

Gaara suspected he was meant to appreciate the old man's honesty, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to get excited over the idea. So instead, he fixed the Hokage with a penetrating stare and demanded, "Explain."

The Sandaime looked as if he'd been expecting such a response. "You may not be aware of this, Gaara, but I am credited with being the most learned Kage of my time. So I feel fairly confident in saying that this process will benefit you immensely."

"Just tell me about the seal."

"It's not just one seal, unfortunately, and that is what complicates the matter. Normally, the single seal would be enough, but this is a special case. The Seal of the Black Sun was commonly used on people who had been corrupted by some outside force that controlled their mind and body. But I doubt any of them were possessed by one of the tailed beasts."

Gaara frowned. "So why do you think it can help me?"

"The very nature of the seal is similar to your own constant struggle with Shukaku," the Sandaime explained. "The Black Sun is actually a two-sided seal, the reverse known as the White Moon. In order to keep the two sides from conflicting, a day and night effect is established. The side that receives the Black Sun retains control over the entire seal. It can willingly submit to the White Moon, but only for a limited time. When the time limit expires, the Black Sun resumes control again. So you see, Shukaku would no longer be able to influence you. While you are awake, the demon would sleep. You can still give him control, but he will only be awake for a few moments. You would be able to function normally, without fear of Shukaku controlling your thoughts and actions."

The idea of existing without fearing Shukaku's control... Gaara had never thought it possible. Even now, it seemed like some half-formed dream.

"Would I be able to sleep?"

The old man paused noticeably. "Yes. However, I would advise against it. Shukaku gains power whenever you sleep. The seal would worsen that effect, in that the two of you cannot be awake at the same time. If you fell asleep, the seal would automatically awaken Shukaku, whether you gave him control or not. If that happened, his influence could seep into your dreams, and easily turn them into nightmares. He might even be able to control your body through sleepwalking. But the more seals you have, the harder it is for Shukaku to take control. Their presence alone suppresses his power, so if you had one seal on each limb, and more over the rest of your body, you should be much safer. It would prevent Shukaku from controlling any part of your body while you are under stress. With practice, you would even be able to manifest his limbs through the lesser seals, while he remains asleep."

It wasn't perfect, and that was assuming it worked at all. But if it did, then Gaara could be free, and in control, for the first time in his short life. He thought over his choices for all of one minute before giving the Sandaime his answer.

"Do it."


Week 1 in Suna

Naruto figured out his place in Suna very, very quickly. He was to do what Temari said, and stay as far away from Kankurou as possible. If some of things Temari asked of him seemed unreasonable, so long as she seemed slightly guilty about them, Naruto never hesitated to try his best. He wanted her to be proud of him. He wanted her to want him around. She obviously knew what he was, what dwelled inside him, and if it bothered her, she did a great job of hiding it.

Temari treated him like he was a person, and that was rare in Naruto's experience. She never forgot to feed him, never said he didn't deserve three meals a day, and gave him as much (if not more) food as she made for herself and Kankurou. He wasn't used to the food, but it wasn't bad. Anyway, Naruto wouldn't have complained about the food unless eating nothing would've made him feel better by comparison.

The training was hard on Naruto, and even more so in the desert heat, but Temari was quick to remind him that Kankurou wouldn't have allowed him to take as many breaks as she did. And because Naruto was getting stronger every day, he soon recognized that Temari would begin to sweat far faster than he did, so he kept his mouth shut.

Kankurou, for some unknown reason, hated Naruto's guts. This became more obvious with every glare, snort, and eye roll in his direction. Naruto was used to such reactions, but in close quarters, when he had to see Kankurou every day, it quickly became something that Naruto couldn't convince himself to tolerate. Finally, he walked right up to Kankurou and challenged him to a fight.

It lasted maybe ten minutes, and only then because Naruto's body resisted the poison until he passed out. Ultimately, it was very embarrassing for Naruto, who'd landed almost no hits on Kankurou. But it was not a solid victory for the puppet user, either. For when Naruto did wake up, Temari was still fuming, and Kankurou had caked on his makeup to cover his matching black eyes. They never spoke of that day again, but Kankurou toned down the hostility, and maybe Naruto was imagining it, but Temari's eyes seemed a bit kinder, even proud, when she looked at him from then on.

The only person Naruto had trouble adjusting to was Baki. Without warning, he would show up, take Naruto deep into the desert, and attack him mercilessly. It only took two of these trips for Naruto to figure out that this was Baki's way of measuring his progress. The beatings never lessened in severity, though, because if Naruto showed any sign of not feeling the hits, Baki's strength would increase until he did. These brutal sessions didn't end until Naruto was facedown in the sand for more than a minute, and then Baki would drag him back home, where Temari would carefully treat any wounds that hadn't healed already.

Oddly enough, Naruto came to appreciate the beatings. He knew very well that if this were Konoha, he would be left to die in the sand, and there probably would have been a mob doing the hitting instead. Baki was not kind by any means, but both Temari and Kankuro had endured similar treatment at their father's hands, and they were much stronger for it. If this was Suna's method of accepting him into the Kazekage's family, Naruto would gladly go along with it. After all, if he was going to get beaten again, at least there was some incentive this time around.


Month 1 in Konoha

Gaara was not sure what to make of his new "family," if it could even be called that. Granted, he was no expert himself, but he was fairly certain that it left much to be desired.

Someone was almost always drunk, and usually it was Anko. However, she did it so much that it was almost part of her personality, and therefore she handled it fairly well. Kakashi, on the other hand, almost never got drunk, but when he did, he was of the sobbing drunk variety. In other words, he would lock himself in his room and cry silently for hours, which would inevitably "force" Anko to break the door down and punch him in the mouth for disturbing her.

And even when they weren't drunk, they fought as if they truly wanted each other dead. Gaara was certain that a simple argument during dinner had built up into a full shinobi struggle to the death no less than twice a week since he'd begun staying with them. He almost never felt obligated to interrupt them, since it was far more interesting to analyze their attacks for weaknesses that could be exploited later (if not in them, then in like-minded ninja he would have to dispatch later).

But the more he saw those conflicts, the more Gaara became convinced that as much as Kakashi won, he also sometimes threw the fights. This made no sense at first, but then Gaara realized that Anko would be a lot more intolerable if she never won, and suddenly Kakashi's reputation as a genius seemed well deserved. It was his way of co-existing with her, apparently.

Then, too, Anko sometimes pulled her punches: she would coat her kunai with the irritant that caused horrible itching for a few hours, rather than the deadly poison that Kakashi would have to go all the way to the hospital to get extracted from his system.

It was almost as if they enjoyed seeing each other suffer, so long as one of them did the inflicting. Anko had once come home with a busted lip, and Kakashi had vanished shortly afterwards, only to return an hour later coated in blood. No questions were asked, but Anko did his laundry for a week, and allowed him to read his little orange books in peace for a month. The following day, three Leaf-nin of questionable moral background had been reported missing. Even though the evidence pointed to them having last been seen with Anko, Kakashi claimed that he'd convinced them to leave the village, and the matter was pursued no further.

Gaara didn't really understand them. Anko was equally loud whether happy or upset, while Kakashi was a man of very few words. They had every reason to hate each other. And yet, occasionally, Anko slept in Kakashi's room, and on those occasions, he did not complain. Gaara was not so removed from social interaction that he needed to ask what they did on those nights (the noises were rather telling in their volume and frequency). The only part he didn't understand was why they didn't do it regularly, or at least enjoy each other's company a little more outside of Kakashi's room.

Then there was the way they reacted to Gaara himself.

Kakashi never got within arm's distance of Gaara when he could help it, not even when he was giving instruction. This did not bother Gaara at all, since he had never been a big fan of touching. If Kakashi had done so, it would've been extremely uncomfortable for them both (in that Kakashi would've gotten his arm ripped clean off, and Gaara would've had to figure out what to do with the spare).

Anko ALWAYS touched him. It took Gaara a week to figure out that she wasn't attacking him. She would ruffle his hair, drape her arm around his neck, brush her fingertips against his arm, even kiss the scar on his forehead if she was happy (or drunk) enough. He didn't know how to respond to such affection (or any affection at all, for that matter), so he simply didn't. If Anko was discouraged, she hid it well, but she certainly didn't stop, either.

Perhaps the most startling thing about his new family was how often they allowed him to venture out alone, or at least without them in plain view. Gaara wasn't gullible enough to believe that they'd let someone like him walk the streets unattended. He could already distinguish Kakashi and Anko's chakra signatures from those of the ANBU that regularly trailed him.

And it wasn't as if Gaara had that many places to go. At first, he would only investigate the few places where the blond boy's scent lingered to an overwhelming degree: the orphanage; dark, deserted places that made good hiding spots; and the unassuming ramen stand. The latter of these held Gaara's interest, because it was a very public place, one where the blond could easily have been spotted and attacked openly. Could he really have been so starved that he'd frequent a place that served inexpensive food with no real nutritional value?

Actually, it made perfect sense. It was the kind of thing Gaara might have done, back when he was afraid of approaching people.

Gaara's assumption was proven correct: the blond's scent grew stronger upon passing through the ramen stand's curtain, and there was even a framed picture of him and the two people on the wall. The blond boy was grinning happily, holding an enormous but empty bowl in his lap. An older man was tousling his hair fondly, and a brown-haired girl had her arms draped around the boy's neck. "Our best customer!" the caption proclaimed proudly. If the stack of empty bowls on the counter behind them was any indication, that was certainly true.

"Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen, Gaara-kun!" said a cheery voice behind him. "Hokage-sama said you might be stopping by."

Gaara slowly turned to find the girl in the picture beaming at him from a nearby stool. The pieces continued to slide into place. If she was this friendly with total strangers, it was no wonder the blond had kept coming back here. A plentiful supply of cheap food, and freely given affection were considered luxuries to people like them.

Interpreting Gaara's cold stare as a questioning one, the girl added, "I'm Ayame, by the way. You can order whatever you want, and don't worry about paying, it's all been taken care of!"

"Where can I find out more about that boy?" Gaara asked, pointing at the picture.

"Oh, you're a friend of Naruto-kun's? You're in the right place, then. He was here almost every day. Actually, you kind of remind me of him." Ayame leaned forward and tenderly brushed her fingertips against Gaara's cheek. "You have the same sad eyes..."

Gaara froze, his eyes widening slightly. No one had ever touched him that way before. Anko's touches always contained a hint of teasing, but that was not present with Ayame. It was as if the girl genuinely wanted to take away all of his pain, and though he knew she could not, something in Gaara stirred and shifted into a more comfortable position. He couldn't be sure, but he thought that perhaps his heart, which had been torn in two by Yashamaru's final acts, was finally beginning to heal.

Blinking, Gaara focused his eyes on Ayame's face. "What do you know of love?" he asked bluntly.

Ayame blushed prettily, drawing back her hand. "You're so forward, Gaara-kun! We've only known each other a few minutes!"

Gaara's eyes narrowed slightly. "The information is vital to my continued existence. I must know."

"Well, if it's that important to you..." Ayame glanced over her shoulder and then leaned forward, lowering her voice. "When you love someone, it means that you care deeply for them. If they're hurt, you want to heal them. If they're happy, you want to share in their joy. If they're sad, you want to make them feel better. There are different types of love, but all of them basically come from having a precious person in your life. You can have several, though."

Carefully considering everything she'd said (especially the parts that reinforced the things Yashamaru had told him), Gaara came to a rather abrupt conclusion. "You love me."

Ayame blushed again, shaking her head slightly. "I haven't known you long enough to love you, Gaara-kun. But I do like you!" she assured him with a bright smile.

"Why?"

"Because I think you need someone to like you. And I want to be that person, if you'll let me."

"You will tell me more about Naruto?" he asked after a long moment of silence.

"Sure!" Ayame chirped. "Just as soon as you have something to eat, that is. You look hungry."

Gaara was currently only hungry for information, but he hadn't eaten in a while, and if that was all it would take to learn more about Naruto, he could humor Ayame for the moment. So he ordered the pork ramen and sat down to wait while Ayame shouted the order back to her father. Several times Gaara caught Ayame glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes, but she would quickly look away, her cheeks bright red. No one had ever quite reacted that way to him, and he found it curious, but not unpleasant. He also found himself wondering if Ayame knew other people that could heal his heart, and if not, how many of her touches would be necessary to heal him completely.


Month 1 in Suna

Temari tried not to take breaks in front of Naruto. At first, this had been because she wanted him to think of her as a tireless taskmaster, but now it was more so he wouldn't become lazy himself. Still, most of their training revolved around Temari trying to think of new ways to hurt him. This was not nearly as cruel as it sounded, because Naruto tended to heal completely in a matter of minutes, no matter what Temari did to him. It was almost a game for them, except Temari took no pleasure out of it, while Naruto didn't mind getting hurt so long as he was also getting stronger in the process.

And he was getting stronger, if for no other reason than they shared the elemental affinity of wind. The first time Naruto had seen her destroy a practice dummy with her Kamaitachi, he had fallen in love with her fan, and begged to use it whenever he suspected she was in a good enough mood. Temari continued to say no, only because the one time she had said yes, the fan had proved so heavy for him that he'd tumbled backwards and very nearly broken his own neck with it. The disappointed look on his face was the only thing that had kept her from yelling at him.

And yet, the very next day, in an attempt to imitate the Kamaitachi, Naruto had created an attack that was easily three times as destructive, using nothing more than his hands, a great deal of chakra, and what Temari assumed was an instinctive but previously untapped wind affinity, since he'd been just as surprised as she.

She had been practicing on her own while, out of the corner of her eye, she'd spotted Naruto merely punching the air in what appeared to be frustration. Temari had ignored this, until there was a sudden loud, drawn-out roar, and the next thing she knew, there was a huge crater in the sand in front of Naruto. It didn't take her long to figure out what had happened, and when she did, Temari flicked her fan in his direction half-heartedly. Naruto's eyes widened, and without thinking, he'd punched the air, sending the attack back at her nearly double. Temari had followed her first instinct and dove aside like a frightened child, and when she looked up, Naruto was kneeling beside her, his expression both concerned and afraid. But Temari had only grinned and ruffled his hair, which only shocked him more.

It was, unfortunately, a taijutsu style that only Naruto could use for more than a few minutes. Temari found that while she could also strengthen and speed up her movements with wind chakra, doing so more than a few times was fairly taxing. Naruto, on the other hand, could damage an enemy over ten feet away just by thrusting his palm forward, and he certainly had enough chakra to do much more than that on a daily basis. It just wasn't something that Temari could train him in, because while she had above average chakra control for her age, she didn't have the sheer reserves that Naruto did (then again, no one did). Also, she was far too used to controlling wind with her fan, and trying to do so any other way generally lead to frustration and little else.

Naruto was thrilled that he could do something so challenging with ease. He spent most of his spare time working on his taijutsu, and soon reached the point where he could beat most of the kids his age without ever touching them. Because of the immense force behind the attacks, most people assumed that they took a while to form. But Naruto could launch the wind as fast as he could move, so as long as he had time to throw a second punch or kick, his opponents never really lasted beyond that. Even Kankurou and his puppet Karasu began to go down with just two hits, and that was when someone finally took notice.

Suddenly, Temari was demoted from Naruto's trainer to his caretaker, and the blond boy began to receive private lessons from the Kazekage himself. Temari could only imagine what her father might be teaching Naruto. All she knew was that when Naruto returned from these lessons, he was usually frightfully pale, as if he'd just seen a ghost.

Finally, Temari just flat out asked Naruto why the lessons bothered him so much.

"Kazekage-sama had me look at some old records," was his answer.

Temari stared at him in disbelief. "That's it? What's so wrong about looking at some dusty old scrolls?"

"They're Shukaku's records."

The blood drained out of Temari's face. "What?"

"They kept records. Of everything he did once sealed inside a host," Naruto muttered. "He wants me to LEARN from that. He wants me to do more than Shukaku ever did. He wants me to be a monster. I don't know what-"

"Are there any records on Gaara?" Temari asked abruptly.

Naruto blinked. "Who is Gaara?"

"Shukaku's current host." Temari hesitated before adding softly, "My little brother…"

Naruto's surprise was obvious, but he recovered quickly. "I don't know. I've only been shown the old scrolls. They're probably just kept somewhere else, I'm sure of it."

"How do you know?"

"If they went through the trouble of detailing the accounts of all Shukaku's hosts, there's no way they'd just skip one, no matter who he was. What do you want to know about your brother?"

Temari paused, lowering her head. "If I'll ever see him again…"

Guilt filled Naruto's face. Gaara was gone because of him. Without thinking, he reached out to touch Temari's hand, then thought better of it and began to pull back, only to have Temari's larger hand seize his in a firm grip.

"You're a little like him. Before he changed for the worst."

Naruto's heart filled with guilt… and hope. Temari was missing her little brother. Chances were good that he would never return. And yet… if that was the case, then Naruto could become her brother. Temari seemed to like him, and Kankurou trusted him enough to allow him to help tighten Karasu's joints. Even the Kazekage smiled every time Naruto bowed his head respectfully, though those smiles were cold and scary. Maybe they could be his new family. Maybe this could be his home, forever.

And if all he had to do in order to stay was let Kyuubi out occasionally, well… at least it wasn't against the law here.


Gaara sat on Anko's couch late that night, reviewing the day's events in his mind. It was a meditation technique that the Sandaime had suggested, instead of attempting to sleep. If he looked at everything he'd done that day, and could justify them as beneficial or necessary to his existence, he should be at peace with himself, and be able to focus more clearly on what he had to do next.

But his thoughts kept drifting back to Ayame's smiling face. Gaara told himself that it was because she held the means to heal his heart, and that was important enough that it took precedence over most other things he was concerned with. He told himself that she had more information on Naruto, intimate details of his life that no one else would know.

He told himself a lot of things about why he had to return to Ichiraku Ramen the next day, and probably every day after that, if at all possible. But the one thing Gaara could not seem to tell himself was the honest, absolute truth about why he had to go see Ayame again.

He simply wanted to.

That answer held no logic, and it was fueled only by sheer desire, something Gaara had yet to completely understand about himself. For a boy that was used to being called a monster to his face, he had never really accepted the fact that he was, at least partially, still a human being. And most human beings, no matter what their personal problems, sought out the company of others.

This was not something Shukaku would do, and Gaara was very aware of that fact. Shukaku most likely would have flattened the ramen stand, killed Ayame, and used her blood to garnish his meal. But the thought of Ayame being harmed, at least before she could give Gaara what he needed… bothered him. She appeared to have no way to protect herself, and in a Hidden Village, that was extremely foolish. Gaara realized that if he didn't make very regular visits, something unfortunate most likely would happen to the girl, and then where would he be? The chances of finding anyone else willing to share information on Naruto were slim to none, and Gaara did not want to have to restart his search if it was unnecessary. He would just have to make sure that Ayame remained safe until she was of no more use to him.

But he had learned that keeping a person other than himself safe was somewhat difficult. Most people would instantly reject the idea of being strapped to his gourd so that the sand could protect them. There was a way to protect Ayame without letting her know it, and it didn't take long for Gaara to discover it. Really, it had been staring him in the face everywhere he went: ANBU. They probably weren't normally ordered to look after civilians for no reason, but the Sandaime had been very accommodating thus far. If Kakashi couldn't push the order through, perhaps the old man could. Satisfied with this course of action for the moment, Gaara was finally able to focus on other matters.

He was completely unaware of the silent, near transparent form of his mother standing just behind him, so he could not be blamed for having no reaction to the heartfelt, slightly hopeful smile spreading across her face.

End of Chapter 2.


Next Chapter: Gaara expresses interest in joining ANBU, so Kakashi takes him to work. Naruto officially earns his place in Suna… by taking someone else's.

Endnotes:

Before people start asking about pairings, I only have three in mind, two of which should be obvious. I'm not really taking suggestions, though. I want the story to focus entirely on Gaara, Naruto, and the people closest to them. That group will expand a bit, but not by much. You can expect the last two people I plan to shove together to appear next chapter.