"Her name was Sigyn." Loki spoke quietly. So soft you could scarcely hear her. "She had been a childhood friend, someone who listened when I fell in Thor's shadow and an accomplice to my schemes and jokes. As we grew, so did our friendship. It blossomed into love and we became inseparable. When I learned I was not the son of Odin she stood by me and supported my… betrayal. I kept her safe, hidden from the Etins as they raided Asguard.
When Thor returned and I was presumed dead, she failed to give up hope. She searched for me tirelessly until she found me in the servitude of the Chitauri. When she could not bargain my release she joined me in service and stayed by my side throughout all of it. She never gave up hope of our return to Asguard and would envision the two of us ruling together, side by side.
But when I failed to retrieve the Tesseract, I failed her. Thanos took her prisoner and returned her to me in a small box. I couldn't save her. I failed Odin as a son, Thanos as a soldier and Sigyn as a lover and protector.
So do you see? You waste your time when you say you want to 'help' me. I don't deserve help. I don't deserve to feel better. I destroyed the only thing dear to me and now she's resting at the bottom of a hole in a two foot box."
Loki ended with a sneer, peering down his nose at you. You in turn sat numbed, shocked that he'd opened up to you and what he had experienced.
"I'm sorry." You eventually managed to utter.
"'Sorry'?" Loki mimicked with a turn of the lip. "You're sorry? Sorry for what, exactly? Forcing me to relive what I wanted to forget? For asking me in the first place?"
"I'm sorry that you've suffered as much as you have." You laid a tentative hand on his leg in the hope of offering some comfort.
Loki sprang to his feet as though you had burned him with a branding iron. "Do not touch me!" he hissed, eyes full of hatred and self-loathing. "Do not offer me your false pity. You do not care for me. I murdered your parents and countless others. You feign curiosity and concern but you are nothing more than a liar and a manipulator."
"Manipulator?" You raised your eyebrows. "I didn't manipulate you into anything."
"You pushed and you nagged to find out information I didn't want to share. I do not know you, I do not wish to and I most certainly do not like you. I would give my own life to have one more day with her, yet you talk as though I can just forget and move on. You Midguardians are all the same; pathetic, whiney and annoying."
It's just the grief. This is the grief and the self-hatred talking. You told yourself over and over as you forced yourself to remain calm. "No one is keeping you here." You told him evenly. "As you said, you murdered a lot of people. No one really wants you here, but still we are making an effort. I don't want you to suffer. Personally I believe everyone deserves a shot at redemption, but if you don't want it then that's fine. Take your things and sod off to a remote island somewhere." You stood and dusted off your thighs, as though trying to brush off his words. "If you don't want my company then that's fine, although I give you my word that what you have told me will remain a secret. Good luck with your healing process, Loki." You turned on your heel and stalked from the library.
Although you repeated your mental mantra of it being the grief talking, you weren't totally certain that was true. Loki had always thought lowly of Earth and its inhabitants, so there was always the chance that he was just speaking from the heart, his words unchecked from the grief that consumed him.
Nevertheless you still wanted to help him. You had meant what you said about everyone deserving a shot at redemption. If you hadn't been given that chance by your parents then you would've probably been a homeless drug addict by now.
Deciding that you could use a second opinion you changed course and headed towards the communal lounge. Sure enough you found Clint draped across a sofa, snoring away with a newspaper crumpled on the floor besides him. You kicked it away, disgusted at the headlines which still read 'AVENGERS WELCOME NEW YORK MURDERER WITH OPEN ARMS'. People had not taken well to the news that Loki would be staying at Stark Tower. Tony had done well to dissolve the protests, but the papers still harked on about it.
You wiggled Clint's foot lightly and he stirred, peeking out at you from under a half-lidded eye. "Yes?" he yawned, vaguely attempting to sit up.
"I have a question."
"Think I can help?" Clint yawned, managing to sit up a little more. He pulled his legs up, allowing you room to sit.
"Yes. You've successfully done what I'm trying to do."
Clint raised an eyebrow. "Would this involve our resident war criminal?" he laughed at your surprised expression. "Kid, I may be half deaf but I'm not blind."
"I want to help him." you explained. "I don't want him to suffer any more than he has. Thor said he was punished accordingly on Asguard, and from what he told me today he's suffered just as much as us."
"I think you're wrong," Clint stated, folding his arms, "but why exactly do you think I can help?"
"You got through Nat's thousand barriers. You got to the real person hidden away under all that anger, hatred and self-loathing. How?"
Clint sighed, pressing the bridge of his nose. "It takes time. A lot of it. And twice as much patience. If, and I say you shouldn't, but if you want to get through to Loki then you're going to need to be persistent. Don't be pushy but be present, selfless and willing to help him. And be prepared to be given lectures, be lashed out at and possibly almost murdered."
"Thanks." You smile, patting his shin. "See, you can be useful!"
"You're welcome." Clint smiled, before frowning slightly. "Wait, who said I wasn't useful?"
You grinned and waved at him as you headed to the door.
The next stop on your list was Thor. His living quarters were near the top of the tower, allowing him easy access to the helipad, should he feel like flying off somewhere. They were large and open, constructed entirely by one-way glass with the exception of his bedroom. A plush blue rug lined the floor and, as always, the door wasn't locked.
Thor was flopped in a giant beanbag watching some football match on his TV. He grinned at you with a mouth full of popcorn when he saw you. "Frenth!" he greeted before swallowing his popcorn. "Come, sit! Have some of this popped corn."
You politely took some popcorn and perched on the edge of the beanbag. Buster licked your hand eagerly from his mini beanbag on the floor. Apparently he and the God of Thunder were having some bro-bonding time.
"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Thor boomed over the TV.
"It's about Loki." You said, picking at your handful of popcorn.
"Ah, yes! My brother tells me you have been keeping him company! Your snake was with him but yesterday!"
"He told me about Sigyn."
Thor's smile falters and he reaches over to turn off the TV. "He did?" he seems both surprised and confused. "I confess I did not think my brother would ever tell a mortal. He must truly consider you a friend."
"I wouldn't put it that way." You chuckle. "He had some truly colourful things to say about me and my species, but that's not why I'm here. I want to help him, Thor. I want him to feel a bit better. Not 'go out and murder thousands of people' better, but more himself. You know?"
Thor nodded. "I too wish for my brother to return to his good self again. I believe he will become better in time."
"Is there anything we can do to help him along that path? Preferably without getting mulched in the process."
"My brother enjoys the finer things in life. Good books and fine food. He also enjoys pranks, should you be inclined to try and execute one on him."
You laugh in disbelief. "Books and food I can do, but pranking the God of Mischeif? Possibly pushing it too far."
"Perhaps, but this is a strange world. There is much he does not understand about it. I believe you and your fine animal companions could pull something off."
You spend the rest of the afternoon watching the game with Thor, but thinking about his brother. How on Earth were you meant to prank the God of pranks and mayhem? You didn't even know Loki's routine well enough to even begin planning such things. But Thor was right; you had the help of your animals.
That night you rounded them all up and explained what had transpired today, without giving away any sensitive information. It was agreed with Beerious and Pharrah would take turns following Loki and trying to locate his room. Jasper and Lily would keep an eye from on high and Chi-Chi would continue to spend time with him for a few hours a day. As Buster, Digby and Maddie were incapable of being discreet they would go about their daily business. Finally, your monitor lizard Taz was on recon. His job was to hunt out spots for potential pranks. It was ridiculous and absurd, but what was done was done. And it was entirely Thor's fault.
For two days you gave Loki a wide berth. Not that it was hard as he had confined himself to the library. Chi-Chi kept him company and Taz made sure to introduce himself. On the evening of the second day you received word that the rest of the team were finished in Dubai and would be home in three days once they had given their reports. It was your turn to prepare the ceremonial 'well done on not dying' feast and you could think of no one better to help than Loki.
But Loki was not amused.
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't like you."
"That's petty."
"My answer is still no. I have better things to do with my time."
You laughed, taking a quick glance around the library. "I bet you've read all the books in here already. You must be bored and besides, it's a good way to express your thanks to the team."
"My thanks?" Loki sneered.
"Yes, your thanks to Tony for disbanding the protests outside and to Steve for going on record to defend your stay here. Your thanks to Nat for not killing you already and your thanks to everyone else for giving you a second chance."
Loki glared at you but, sure enough, three days later and the team was sitting down to a meal prepared by you and Loki. Well, it was mainly Loki. You had merely observed to make sure he didn't try to poison any of you. As it turned out, Loki was an excellent cook. He had prepared a selection of cured meats, smoked fish and roasted vegetables along with fresh salad, homemade bread fancy cheese. Although the other had been unsure of it at first, even they agreed that the food was without fault.
By the end of the evening you could have sworn Loki was smiling. But then again maybe he wasn't smiling, so much as no longer scowling. He almost seemed happy when Pepper suggested he cook monthly meals for the team.
As the rest of the team filtered through into the lounge you stayed behind to wash up. It wasn't until you were loading the second dish washer that you realised Loki had stayed behind. "You did well tonight." You assured him. "They were genuinely grateful for the food."
Loki said nothing, just remained sat at the table watching you pack up.
"You could become the tower's cook." You chuckle. "We could make you a TV show; Cooking with Loki." You laugh aloud as you turn on the dishwashers. The three machines whir to life and you frown. There shouldn't be any whirring. These were Stark machines. They were meant to be quiet as a mouse. With a frown you start poking buttons at random on the display. You manage to get one of them to pause and the door pops open, sending warm water and bright blue bubbles all over the floor. You jump back with a shriek as your socks are soaked.
From the table Loki starts chuckling.
"You! This is your fault!" you point an accusing finger at the snickering God.
Loki raises his hands. "Entirely me. Have fun." He rises from the table, shoots you a teasing smile and stalks from the kitchen, leaving you to deal with the flood of bright blue bubbles and dirty water.
