Catching Twilight
Chapter 2: The Plot Thickens
Janice Ian walked into her Pre-Calculus class and looked for the most desirable place to take a seat. She chose a seat just far enough from the teacher so she could text without interruption and she wouldn't be subjected to the masterful odors of Phil the farter. Shortly after she sat down, Damien joined her, saying, « Oh look, here come the beards. »
Sure enough, Katniss and Peeta walked in, holding hands like sexually band geeks on their first date. The two sat down behind Janice and Damien and Peeta whispered to Katniss, « They're doing the same thing we're doing, right? »
At that, Janice turned around, « Um, no. Unlike you, he's almost too gay to function. » Peeta turned as white as the bread his mother baked earlier that morning at Baked, the town bakery, which doubled as an illegal marijuana edibles dispensery. He turned to Katniss nervously.
Quickly and efficiently, Katniss snapped, « Just because you think you see homosexual undertones in anything you lay your eyes on, doesn't mean it's true about my boyfriend. » She awkwardly rubbed Peeta's back, further convincing Janice and Damien that their whole relationship was a sham.
Damien, pretending to be absolutely horrified at Katniss' insult, fired back with, « I hope you and your softball teammates are very happy together! » He whirled around dramatically and pretended to flip his non-existent bangs out of his eyes. Janice winked at Katniss and turned around, ignoring the two beards for the rest of the period.
Meanwhile in Biology, Johanna was busy not giving a shit about hurting anyone's feelings, including the teacher. « Are your boobs lopsided, or is it your shoulders? » Johanna asked Mrs. Trinket, the Biology teacher trying to help Bella and Edward locate a skin cell in their microscope.
« Manners! » Mrs. Trinket scolded as she resumed helping the overly dramatic power couple.
Johanna rolled her eyes and added, « Hey Bella, are you going to the mall this weekend? I've got something to show you in the elevator, » she said with a wink. Bella turned to her microscope, completely mortified. Was that a flush to her pasty cheeks that Johanna detected? Edward shot her a dirty look, but said nothing. Bella, with the help of Mrs. Trinket, finally located a skin cell in the microscope, so she passed it to her boyfriend to look. « Oh look, the sexless wench finally the skin cell. I found 5 matches on tinder in the time that it took you to do that. Are you sure you're all there? » That was the straw that broke the camel's back for Edward.
In a deep, monotone voice, Edward growled, « Not everyone is as free with their bodies as you are, Jo-ho-anna. » Johanna just smirked, knowing she had the upper hand in the argument. With a suggestive wink toward Edward's girlfriend, Johanna resumed her Biology lab assignment.
By the time lunch rolled around, the whole gang was in a bad mood. Everyone except Damien and Johanna, of course, who had been the source of nearly everyone's angst. Bella and Edward had a particularly bad morning. Edward's eyes had become a deep umber color and he looked starving. Every time someone would walk by or, God forbid, touch him, he would flinch and cover his mouth suspiciously.
Johanna slammed her lunch tray down on the table in front of Peeta and Katniss, « God, what a spaz, » she spat out. « He's so pale, he almost looks vampiric! Who would even go for that kind of a antisocial freakshow? »
« Well, it's not like Bella's much better! I don't think he looks that bad, plus he looks like he hits the gym pretty often…» Peeta exclaimed before catching himself and returning his focus to eating his sausage.
Johanna eyed Peeta suspiciously and Katniss just slapped her forehead saying, « Dude. Really? » Katniss glared at both of her friends and suggested, « Why don't you guys just break them up already? I can tell you'd both reap the benefits of that! »
« Not a bad idea, brainless. » Johanna said while looking to Peeta to see if he was in on this little experiment. « But how can we break up little Ross and Rachel over there? »
Peeta contemplated for a moment before saying, « I got it. » He scribbled a list onto his napkin before showing it to the girls.
1. Edward Cullen: get him to dump Bella
bod: fatten them both up
3. . Army of Skanks: getting Edward's brother and sisters to hate Bella
Peeta looked at Johanna and he knew that she was the right girl for the job. « Johanna, you're going to have to be the one to infiltrate their group. »
Katniss interjected, « But they know how much she hates them! »
« Yes, but that's why I'm perfect for the job. They will think I'm trying to make it up to them, but I'm really just there to ruin their lives, » Johanna explained with a mischievous grin. « When do we start? »
Peeta gestured to Bella and Edward. Edward was choking down his sausage with obvious disgust and Bella was just moving food around on her tray, pretending to eat. « Allons-y! » Peeta said, his eyes pouring into Johanna's. « Make it count. »
