two:
pact.-
We went out selling as we usually would, trying painfully hard to act normally. Snoddy was the first to approach me about it, his dark eyes brooding. We were waiting in line at the gates, and there was a strange, hushed silence that no one dared to break.
"Why Specs, Race?" He asked in a nervous whisper. "I don't get it, why Specs?" I looked up to meet his eyes, myself still a little dazed from all the action.
"I don't know," I said lamely.
"I mean, it's Specs, man. What has Specs done?"
I was beginning to see the reasons for his apprehension.
"I mean, if Specs can… ya know… if Specs can be hit like this, what about…" He trailed off and gave me a pointed look.
"What about you guys who have been spending more time there?"
"Well, yeah," Snoddy said, uncomfortable now that I had said it out loud. He looked around, but the only person paying attention to us was Kid Blink, who now moved in a little closer. His blond hair was a little damp, and his ragged eye patch askew. We all looked pretty haggard.
"I agree," he said. "Enough with Specs, who's to say we ain't all gonna-"
"I'm sure there's a reason," I interrupted. "There must be."
Bumlets was standing in line in front of me, and asked, "What if it was something Dutchy did?" without turning around. Everyone paused.
"It could happen," Blink murmured. "It could definitely happen. That's exactly the kind of punishment they would give."
"Yeah, but who's they?" Bumlets turned to face us. "You can't just group all of those… people… creatures… whatever -- you can't group them all together, it's unfair," he said.
Blink shrugged. "Just sayin."
The gates would be open in a minute, so I said "As long as you boys have been staying out of trouble, I'm sure we don't have anything to worry about," as a way to table the subject until a later time. No one answered me, they just went through the gates in a grim silence. I had a feeling it would be a long day.
-
We met - Kid Blink, Snoddy, Bumlets, Skittery, and I - in a secluded area of woods in a small park around lunchtime, before the afternoon edition. Bumlets had called us together, but now that we were all standing quietly, he didn't seem to know quite what to say. Finally he cleared his throat and stood up from the stump he had been sitting on.
"Listen," he said. "Something needs to be done. And I think that we're the best ones to figure out what."
"Yeah, and why's that?" Skittery asked, clearly irked at missing his lunch.
"Because. We've all… we've all been there and we're all still here."
"Yeah," said Snoddy, not satisfied with the answer, "yeah, and so's Oscar Delancy, but I don't see his happy face in the crowd."
"Oscar is crazy," Bumlets said patiently. "Come on, you know that. Everyone else either knows too little about the situation at hand, or too much. Too little exposure, or too much."
Skittery was still trying to prove Bumlets wrong and thus free himself. "Jack?" He suggested.
"Too little," Bumlets said with a sigh. "Come on, that one is obvious."
"Mush?"
"Too little."
"…Pie-eater?"
No one answered him for a moment, and Skittery looked triumphant until he saw the looks on our faces.
"Too much," I said to him, slowly, firmly. He looked down and didn't say anything else.
"So that's settled," said Bumlets. "We have to take charge, here. We can't just watch this happen to one of our friends, our brothers. We need to do something, because Dutchy is obviously in no shape to work it out himself."
"Ok, well, what needs to be done?" Snoddy asked.
"He has the Fever," Skittery said dumbly, still staring at the ground.
"So… he needs a cure," Blink said, and Bumlets nodded. I remained quiet.
"And if whatever he has came from the Dark, whatever he needs will have to come from there, too," Bumlets said. He was leading us around to the point slowly, and I felt a growing fear in my heart as we approached it.
"Dutchy will have to go there to find the cure," I said, eyes closed. "And he can't do it alone."
At this, all heads turned to look at me. I could feel it. I knew it was going to happen. I opened my eyes.
"I can't do it," I said hoarsely. "I can't, I can't."
"Race," Bumlets said gently. "You know your way around. He has the best chance with you. Besides, everyone else has other things, distractions, it could hurt the purpose of everything."
"I haven't been there in over a year," I said. "Who says I know my way around?"
"You just do," Blink said uncomfortably. "You know what I mean, you… you just do."
I said nothing.
"It's not like you would be on your own," Bumlets said quickly. "We'd all be willing to help you along the way."
Snoddy was frowning. "You guys are talking about this like it's some epic journey. So he goes in, gets the cure (can't you buy those at any market?) and gets out safe. Sure it's dangerous. But… well, so what?"
Bumlets hesitated for a second, and it made me wince. He obviously disagreed, but didn't say so.
"Yes," he said slowly. "That's the way it goes, in theory."
"We should make a pact," said Blink suddenly. "You know, a bond. A brotherhood. So Race knows we're all in this together."
I still said nothing. I felt cold all over.
Bumlets nodded and Blink found a pocketknife in one of his boots. "C'mere," he said to Skittery, and then nicked him below the left ear with the knife."
"OW!" Skittery yelled. "I could've used some sort of warning… ya bastard…" He pressed his fingers to it and glared around at us. Bumlets was next, then me - I didn't even feel it, I was so numb - and then Blink handed the knife to me, and I cut him without emotion.
"Thanks, Race," Bumlets said quietly, although I had never agreed to it. "Luck to you."
-
We went together to the park entrance and then split up, not one word exchanged. I walked slowly, enjoying the sunny July warmth while I still could.
-
I found Dutchy in the same position as we had left him: kneeling at Specs' bunk, his head on the other boy's chest, his arms acting as a sort of pillow. Dutchy was asleep, and since myself and Pie-eater were the first ones back to the Lodging House after finishing selling, the room was quiet and he was undisturbed. Pie went to his bunk and sat, watching us with those big brown eyes, and I approached Dutchy cautiously. The last thing I wanted was another breakdown like that morning.
Luckily, he seemed much more subdued when I woke him with a hand on his shoulder. Dutchy just looked up at me wearily and then stood up stiffly and yawned a little.
"Hi," he said thickly, and rubbed at his eyes.
"Hey," I said. "How's, uhm… well, how are you doing?"
Dutchy shrugged. "Could be better, I guess," he said with the ghost of a bitter smile. "Long day. It's… it's cold up here. Freezing. I haven't moved but all my energy is just… gone."
I nodded wordlessly. Whether or not he knew it, Dutchy was described the exact conditions of a curse like Specs' illness.
"Listen can I talk to you? Come sit on my bunk, or something? Pie will, uh, he'll watch over Specs." I looked over to Pie (who I knew was listening) for confirmation, and he nodded slowly.
Dutchy looked wistfully back to his Love, then sighed and followed me, sitting himself in such a way that he could still see Specs out of the corner of his eye.
"I don't think he's getting any better," he said bluntly.
"Yeah, well… listen Dutch," I said. I wasn't like Bumlets: I had to get right to the point. "Specs isn't going to get any better without your help. And I don't mean you watching over him and looking after him. I mean you going out and doing something for him." I paused to take a breath. "In order to help Specs, you're going to have to leave him behind."
Dutchy looked both hurt and confused. "What?"
"Specs is sick," I said. "But no doctor here can help him. We need to find an antidote for his sickness, and you need to be the one to do that."
"But wouldn't I be better off staying near to him, protecting him?" Dutchy asked, his voice beginning to rise a little. "Why couldn't someone else get this cure and bring it back to me, why-"
"Because," I said calmly. "Because. You're his Love."
Dutchy fell silent, beginning to understand.
"So I have to do it," he said.
"Yes, but you won't be alone," I said quickly. "I'm coming to help you."
I felt that dread settle back into my heart as I said these words. It was a lot easier to convince someone else to go than it was to convince myself.
Dutchy tore his gaze away from Specs to look at me and smiled. There was so much warmth, gratitude, and sincerity in that smile that I knew I couldn't change my mind. Not then, not ever. The mark below my ear started stinging again as if to remind me.
"Thank you," he said quietly, then stood and returned to Specs' side. "I'll need an hour before we leave," he said over his shoulder. "Just an hour, I think."
"I don't think we should go tonight," I told him. I laid back in my bunk and dug around in my shirt pocket until I found a well chewed cigar. "It'll be a little easier in the morning. A little safer. And besides, there's some people I want to talk to tonight."
I noticed then that Dutchy had not asked where we were going. Maybe he knew. Maybe not. Maybe he was just willing to travel wherever he had to in order to save Specs. I didn't understand it, that sort of determination, and for a second I was just a little sad because I probably never would.
