Synopsis: Jess Mariano's life up until he arrived in Stars Hollow was a twisted path which left him scarred and angry at the world. There's a reason people are the way there are. Dark Pre-GG. Jess-centric.

Rating: T for language, dark themes, and sexual content in later chapters. Rating will probably go up eventually. At the start of any chapters containing particularly sensitive material, I will post a trigger warning accordingly.

FYI: Keeping with the canon timeline, Jess was born in 1984. Keep that mind to figure out his age at any given time in the story.

Liberty Harbor

By Imagine Backstory

Chapter Two

Stars Hollow, 1990

The grown ups are all very nice in Stars Hollow. That's what Jess noticed in his first few months of living here. They are so nice it almost makes Jess forget about Mama.

But Jess remembers her again eventually.

Uncle Luke has had many phone calls after that day Jess fell in the lake. He often sends Jess downstairs to the diner while he is on the phone. But Jess still heard him sometimes. Uncle Luke usually say things like "irresponsible" and "abandoned" and "disappointed" while he is on the phone. And Jess sits at the table in the apartment or at the counter in the diner, not eating.

Jess often forgets to eat. Uncle Luke wants Jess to eat, but everything is yucky and sometimes Jess throws up afterwards. Uncle Luke took Jess to the doctor once but Jess whined and cried and caused a big enough fuss that he hasn't taken him back since.

Nevertheless, Jess often sits in the diner at the counter while Uncle Luke talks on the phone. That's how he found out the grown-ups in Starts Hollow are nice. He doesn't even need Uncle Luke's help up onto the stools anymore. Uncle Luke says Jess has grown three inches in the last ten months. Jess thinks he's fibbing. After all, Jess hasn't really been in Stars Hollow for ten months.

"Whatcha reading there, sweetheart?" Miss Patty asks once afternoon after school. Uncle Luke is upstairs having a meeting on the phone. Jess heard him say the words "lawyer" and "custody". Jess doesn't fully understand what either word means.

Miss Patty reminds Jess of a toad in a book he read when he was little. But she was a nice toad, a Queen, in fact. Miss Patty has the same wrinkles, big smile, and curly hair. She smells like the mothballs John put in his closet.

Jess holds up his book. "The Silver Chair," reads Miss Patty with a smile. "I read those books when I was only a little older than you are. Do you enjoy them?"

Jess nods. "My favourite's The Horse and his Boy."

"That is a good one. I think mine's The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."

"That's everyone's favourite," Jess says, wrinkling his nose.

Miss Patty laughs. "I'm sure it is, dear."

"Hey, Jess," says Hennie as he emerges from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. "Are you hungry?"

Jess shakes his head. "No."

"Luke says you gotta eat," says Hennie. "So come on. I'll make you anything you want. Pancakes? Eggs? Plain old cereal?"

Jess deflates further onto the stool. "I'm not hungry."

"Jess, sweetie, you have to eat something," Miss Patty chimes in. When Jess says nothing, she looks at Hennie. "Hendrick, why don't you get us both some cereal and I'll make it extra special for Jess."

As Hennie goes back into the kitchen, Jess peeks at Miss Patty. "How are you gonna make it special?" he asks.

"You'll see," Miss Patty says, winking. "I used to have it like this all the time. You'll love it. Trust me."

Hennie returns with two bowls of cereal with milk, one for Jess and one for Miss Patty. Miss Patty reaches for the big sugar shaker and begins liberally sprinkling it into her cereal. "See? A little big of sugar makes a big difference. Now you do yours." She hands Jess the sugar shaker. He dumps a fair amount on top of his cereal, much to Miss Patty's delight. "That's the spirit!"

Jess can't help but giggle as he watches the mound of white crystals grown on top of his cereal.

Uncle Luke comes down from upstairs, looking very tired. He pauses when he sees what Miss Patty and Jess are doing. "What's going on here?" he asks. "Jess, what are you doing?"

"Relax, Luke, Jess is just discovering how good breakfast can really be."

"It's three in the afternoon, he has this much sugar he's gonna be up all night," says Uncle Luke grumpily.

Jess puts down the sugar shaker and reaches for his spoon. Tentatively, he gives the cereal a stir to mix in the sugar. Then he takes a small spoonful and carefully delivers it into his mouth. Miss Patty, Luke and Hennie all watch avidly as Jess chews and swallows. There is a tense silence as Jess ponders this new substance for a moment, and then he looks up at Miss Patty and smiles. "It's yummy," he says.

The three of them erupt into cheers at which Jess laughs. He begins to eat more of his cereal as Luke leans towards Miss Patty. "At least he's eating somethin'."

"A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down," Miss Patty replies with a wink.

"Thanks, Mary Poppins." Luke smiles ruefully and turns to Jess. "You make sure you eat every bite of that, understand?"

"Yes, Uncle Luke," Jess answers, his mouth full of delicious sugary cereal.

The bell over the door to the diner tinkles and the man named Taylor Doose walks in. Uncle Luke doesn't like Taylor. They argue whenever he walks in to the diner. By default, Jess doesn't like Taylor either. He gives Taylor the stink-eye from his spot at the counter as Taylor goes up to talk to Uncle Luke.

"Lucas, how old are you?" Taylor asks without saying hello.

"What?" says Uncle Luke, grimacing.

"It's a simple question, Luke. I'm merely asking how old you are?"

Uncle Luke rolls his eyes. "I'm twenty-six, Taylor. Do I wanna know why you're askin'?"

"Because it was just brought to my attention that there's a sector in the Stars Hollow privately-owned business guide which explicitly states that in order to privately own a business within Stars Hollow, the primary business manager must be at least twenty-seven."

"Oh, what a load of crap!" exclaims Uncle Luke.

"Luke," says Miss Patty in warning, glancing sideways at Jess, who is listening intently.

"Sorry," says Uncle Luke. "I meant, what a load of- Well it's a load of somethin', Taylor, and you can bet your bottom dollar that that is not going to make a difference in who runs this diner."

"I beg to differ," says Taylor, outraged. "It says right in the regulations, Luke. Now I must insist that you find someone twenty-seven or older to sign on as primary manager or as town selectman I shall have to take disciplinary action against your diner!"

"Taylor, for god's sake, my birthday's in a month. Can't you hold off on the disciplinary action until it's no longer necessary?"

"I'm afraid not," replied Taylor. "You've been running this diner for six years, the entire time in violation of a Stars Hollow law!"

"You know what else I've been doin' for six years, Taylor? Putting up with the likes of you sticking your nose in everyone's business! And I'll tell you what else, Taylor-I have had it!"

Jess doesn't like it when Uncle Luke and Taylor fight, so he says good bye to Miss Patty, grabs his book and his backpack and heads up to Uncle Luke's house, but not before pushing his empty cereal bowl towards Hennie to wash.


Jess sits in a hard plastic chair outside Principal Merton's office, swinging his feet back and forth in frustration. Uncle Luke has been inside the office for a long time, and he told Jess to wait until he is done. But Jess doesn't want to wait here; he wants to go outside. He doesn't like school anymore. Miss Lloyd doesn't read to the class and there's no naptime. Naptime is for kindergartners only, and Jess is a first grader now.

Finally, the door opens and Uncle Luke sticks his head out. "Hey, Jess. Come in here a minute."

Impatient, Jess hops down from the chair and goes into the office, only to sit in yet another chair next to Uncle Luke. Principal Merton sits behind his desk. He has black curly hair and glasses. He's not old like John though. "Jess," says Principal Merton. "You know why your uncle is here talking with me, right?"

Jess nods his head yes.

"Can you tell me why?"

Jess nods his head again. "Because I wouldn't play baseball."

"That's right. You know, Miss Lloyd goes to a lot of trouble organizing sports for your class, Jess. And when you all go out to the field to play, you're all expected to participate. Understand? Don't you like sports, Jess?" Jess shakes his head no. "You don't like sports?"

Jess shrugs his shoulders. "I don't like baseball."

"Why's that, Jess?" Uncle Luke asks. "You made me get you a baseball hat. I thought you liked baseball."

Jess doesn't say anything. The baseball hat Uncle Luke got him is dark green and he's wearing it right now, backwards. He wanted a baseball hat because Uncle Luke wears a baseball hat. But he feels silly saying that out loud.

"Well, in any case," says Principal Merton, "sometimes at school we have to do things we don't like to do, Jess. So even if you don't like baseball, you will have to play it with your class when Miss Lloyd organizes a game. Understand?"

"I don't want to play baseball," says Jess.

Principal Merton looks at Uncle Luke. "Jess, you're gonna have to play every once in a while, okay?" says Uncle Luke.

Jess looks at Uncle Luke and screams, "I don't wanna play baseball!"

There is a long silence. Principal Merton and Uncle Luke both look very surprised that Jess yelled so loud. Jess hasn't yelled so loud in a very long time. Not since John held him tight while Mama reached for him, yelling and crying and saying bad words. Jess hasn't screamed since then.

"Okay," says Principal Merton. "What would you rather do other than baseball, Jess?"

Jess has slumped in his seat, pouting. He peers up at Principal Merton from under his dark lashes. "I wanna read," he replies quietly.

"You want to read." Jess nods his head. "You like reading, Jess?"

"He's very good at it," says Uncle Luke quickly. "He's already read the Narnia books, all of them. I didn't even do that until I was...well, I've never done that. Point is, the kid's smart, I'll bet he's smarter than all the other kids in his class. So, you know, maybe when the others play baseball, there's something else he could do? More along the academic or literary line...?"

Principal Merton looks at Jess. Jess sticks his tongue out.


Uncle Luke takes Jess back to the diner. The bell tinkles over the door as they walk in. It's earlier than Jess would normally get home, and there's not a lot of people here. He hurries to his favourite spot at the counter and climbs up onto the stool.

Uncle Luke goes around the other side of the counter where Jess isn't allowed to go. "So is it true, what Principal Merton said, Jess?" asks Uncle Luke as he ties an apron around his waist. "Are you bored in class?"

"Yeah," says Jess. He reaches for his backpack and pulls out his book. It's a novel called Strange Objects. Uncle Luke got it for Jess for his birthday. Jess is already halfway through. He sometimes reads when he's not supposed to, like at night after Uncle Luke has gone to sleep. Jess can read by moonlight alone. And sometimes Jess hides his books inside the school books so he can read them in class. His school doesn't have Strange Objects.

Uncle Luke puts his hand on Jess' book to stop him from opening it. "You're sure you wanna do this, Jess?" he asks quietly, leaning in so the others in the diner won't hear. "You want to go to second grade? Skip first grade?" Jess doesn't respond. He doesn't know what to say. "I mean, you'll need to pass the test they're gonna give you to make sure you can keep up with the other second graders. But you heard me and Principal Merton. We both think you're something else, kid. We think you're real smart. That's kinda neat, huh?"

Jess chews on his lips. John used to yell when he did that. "Do second graders have to play baseball?"

"Probably," replies Uncle Luke kindly. "But they get to play other sports, too. And they get to read every day. Lots of books. Books you'll like reading, books that'll challenge you."

Jess looks down, trying to tug his book away from Uncle Luke's hand. "I don't wanna play baseball."

Uncle Luke leans over the counter so he can look Jess right in the eyes. "Why don't you like baseball, Jess?" Uncle Luke asks. "You need to tell me why. The real reason."

Jess looks down.

"Did...Jess, did John watch baseball?"

Jess feels his chest start to hurt the way it does when he plays the face in the pillow game at night. But there's no pillow, there's just Uncle Luke. And John. And. And baseball.

John is good. John gave us-


The bell tinkles madly over the door as Jess streaks through it, yanking it open with all his might. He hears Uncle Luke calling after him but Jess is fast. He may not like baseball, but he's fast. He doesn't know where to go, but his legs carry him somewhere. Jess finds himself running into the trees, down the path to the lake where Uncle Luke takes him fishing sometimes.

There's an old bridge here. Jess has only ever seen it from the boat when he goes fishing with Uncle Luke; he's never stood on it before. He cautiously walks out to about the middle and stops, breathing heavily from running. He squeezes his eyes shut when they start to burn. He's not going to cry. Mama cries. Jess doesn't cry.

Jess sits down, trying to breathe. He still kind of feels like his face is in a pillow.

After a long time, Jess finally catches his breath. He peers over the edge of the bridge, down into the water. There's a couple of fishes down there, swimming around, oblivious to the world beyond the surface. Jess leans back and puts his book in his lap. He's glad he managed to take it with him when he left the diner. Now he has something to do while he sits here all alone.

It's a little cold.

Jess shivers and curls up tighter, drawing his book in close to his chest.

"What are you doing?"

Jess looks up, surprised. A girl stands at one end of the bridge, looking at him curiously. She's Jess' size, maybe a bit smaller. Jess has never seen her before. "Nothing," he replies quietly.

The girl walks towards him and stands next to him, looking down at him with an open expression on her face. "What are you reading?"

"Strange Objects," Jess says, lifting the book to show her the cover.

Her eyes light up. "I've read that. Don't worry, I won't spoil the ending for you." She sits down next to Jess, crossing her legs the way his are. "What part are you at?"

"The survivors of Cornelisz's attack just escaped to Wallabi Island," explains Jess, showing the girl the paragraph he is currently reading.

"That's a good chapter," the girl says. "Do you read a lot?"

Jess shrugs. "Not really." He doesn't know why he lied. He feels very self-conscious all of a sudden. "This is for school."

The girl frowns. "What grade are you in?"

"First grade."

"Me too," she says. Then she smiles again. "Hey, I might be in your class! I just moved here from Woodbury with my mom. Well, I will be one step ahead since I've already read Strange Objects. That's good to know."

Jess thinks that this girl talks a lot. He feels his face turning hot as he realizes he might get caught in his lie. "I won't be in first grade for long," he says. "I'm skipping to second grade."

"Really?" she says, her eyes widening. "You must be really smart."

Jess just shrugs. His face gets even hotter, as do his ears.

"What's your name?" she asks.

Jess looks at her, grateful that she dropped the subject of his intelligence. "Jess," he tells her quietly.

She holds out her hand to him, which he timidly shakes. A twinkle shines in her blue eyes. "I'm Rory."

"Jess!"

They both look up to see Uncle Luke standing at the end of the bridge, looking frantic. "Get your butt over here!"

Jess scrambles to his feet, grabs his book, and heads towards Uncle Luke. "Bye, Rory," he says quickly over his shoulder.

"Bye, Jess," she says back.


Uncle Luke is mad. Jess can tell. He sits on the bed in Uncle Luke's house, staring at his shoes guiltily. He's never made Uncle Luke mad before. He doesn't like the feeling. He doesn't like making anyone mad.

Uncle Luke paces in front of Jess, quietly mumbling to himself. Jess waits for him to start yelling.

But he doesn't yell. Instead, Uncle Luke sits on the bed next to him and lets out a deep breath. "Jess," he says, "you can't just run out on me like that. I looked all over town for you, I was worried sick. What would your mom say, if she heard you did that? Ran out on me?"

Jess glances sidelong at Uncle Luke. "She'd say I'm like her. I leave."

Uncle Luke visibly deflates and takes off his baseball cap so he can run his fingers through his hair. "Aw, jeez. Jess, your mom's comin' back for you. You know that."

"No, I don't," Jess insists, jumping up from the bed. "You're lying to me! She's never coming back!"

"Okay, listen, don't get all stressed, okay?" says Uncle Luke. "Come on, sit down. You gotta be strong, Jess."

Grudgingly, Jess does as he's told. There's a silence before Uncle Luke speaks. "Jess, I dunno how to do all this. Okay? I'm not a dad, I'm pretty sure I'm not Dad material. I'm not really old enough to be a dad."

"You're Mama's big brother," Jess pointed out. "And she's a Mama."

"Yes, that's true," says Uncle Luke slowly. He exhales. "Look, the point is, Jess, that I wanna do the best I can by you. But you're gonna have to help me out, alright? I'm not saying I'm gonna be your dad, or that I'm gonna try and be your dad. But I'll be looking out for you. In fact, we're gonna look out for each-other. Okay?"

Jess nods, unsure of what else he's supposed to do.

"So. We don't have to talk about baseball or anything right now. But when the time comes, we're gonna help each-other. Understand?"

Jess doesn't understand. But he lets Uncle Luke tuck him into bed and he tries his best to fall asleep, even after the phone rings and Uncle Luke goes downstairs to answer it. Jess gazes up at the starless ceiling, peering through the dark room with wide eyes.

He feels like he should cry. But Jess doesn't cry.


A/N: Kindly leave me your thoughts... I love to hear your feedback, especially on a story like this. Things will start to pick up in length and intensity as Jess gets older.