CH2
"I'm so sorry…." Emily says sobbing!
Without a word, he smiles and invites her to sit on the couch.
Sometimes, Emily and Aaron spend time together,
When the cases are creepier, when the situations get harder, Aaron spends the evening with the member of his team who now needs him.
He sits on the armchair in front of her, handing a lemon balm and chamomile tea, Hotch asks to her:
"always the same bad dream?".
The girl nods, she is curled up like a cat on the couch and only nods, without talking.
"tell me!" he says.
"Hotch, you've heard that a million times." Emily says, whining.
"and you tell me again!" the man insists, giving a look to the clock. It's almost 3am.
"I'm walking on the street, when I'm attacked from behind. It's Doyle!
I fight, and try to take my gun, but he is faster than me, and he hits me.
He lies in wait for the team. He's taking the guys and you at gunpoint, you wal..k… un…aware… and I… I want scream… but…."
The voice is broken with tears, the hands shake, and she covers her mouth with her fingers, trying to eat the nails.
"I can't do it, Hotch…."
The girl is crying, while sobs are shaking her chest.
She is desperate, she can't see a way out, and the man to whom she is asking for help is forcing her to live again the nightmare.
The rational part of her brain, knows that Hotch doesn't like to see her suffering and the rational part of her brain also knows that telling the nightmare again and again can help to face her fears.
Pull the nightmare out!
Watching from another point of view.
Some therapists use the technique of writing a journal with traumatized or raped patients.
At first, the patient doesn't write the journal.
The pages are flooded with tears, or profanity to the person or object of their grief.
As time goes… and thanks to the therapist' support, the story will be written.
At first between pain;
and a little bit of serenity with the time
ending with the total acceptance of the facts.
Aaron chooses not to ask to Emily to write a journal.
He likes more to be her journal
So he can watch her when she's talking, meanwhile she faces her ghosts.
And because she can see him, she can see that he is beside her, he's there for her!
She is not alone.
She doesn't have to prove how strong she is, because he will always be there for her, when she is weakest, when she can't take it!
As always, when the tale is broken with Emily's tears, he's sitting besides her. He's creating a physic contact, keeping her hands in his ones!
"I'm here, Emily!" he says, reassuring.
He takes her hands in his ones, and squeezes so she can feel his presence.
It's a critical step, for the first time Emily is saying to Emily (and to Hotch) what happens in the dream, after Doyle lies in and waits for the team.
It's the knot that stops Emily!
"Come on Emily. I'm here with you. What happens?" Hotch gently leans on her.
"He shoots…" she says with tears pouring down her cheeks, breaking in a big sobbing crying, heavy, inconsolable crying.
The weeping breaks the silence of the night and breaks the heart of Hotch, he draws her to his chest trying to comfort her. in vain.
"he shoots again… again…. And when I free myself, I run … I see Derek dying in my arms, "stay with me" he says, but I can do nothing! I did NOTHING!" Emily screams between the tears.
"I led him to you, and he killed what we were…"
"shhhshhh" Hotch's trying to calm her, but she's still crying, until the fatigue takes over, and she falls asleep like a baby cradled by Hotch heart beating who takes her closer to the chest!
He caresses her back, whispering comforting words and watching her sleeping on his chest, he moves a lock of hair from the forehead, before leaving a light kiss on her forehead and whispering:
"I won't let anyone hurt the woman I love"
The man looks at the clock before falling asleep. It's 7am. He knows! He'll need more than a smile, when he'll come back to Beth!
