All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just like to play in her shoes. However, the plot is all mine!
Chapter 2
BPOV
The tattoos that had previously only covered ¾ of his right arm were now expanded across his back and all the way down his left arm. What stunned me was that in between the intricate tribal markings were colorful pictures of us. Well, not us, per-se, but pictures from our time together; the spot on the beach where we first kissed, a patch matching the fabric of the blanket he laid me on when I gave him my virginity, dates and times written in elegant script, the front grill of my truck, headlights illuminated from the time he tried to teach me to dance with only my headlights to show the way, and finally, it was me, head bowed, a long curtain of hair covering my face. I recognized the long trench coat. It was a picture of me the day I saw him with Rachel.
I am careful not to jostle him as I do not want to risk waking him. The reminders of our life together becomes too much and I need to flee. I don't care that we are in my home, in my room. The emotional turmoil I am feeling is overwhelming. I can't go back to that place, to being that girl. As easily as possible I slide out from under his heavy arm and quickly dress.
"Baby?" Paul's voice washes over me and I freeze, but his eyes are still closed. I run until I reach the safety of my small SUV.
"Bella!" Paul screams from my front door as I peel out of the driveway. In the rear view mirror I see him pulling on his pants as he runs to his motorcycle parked down the block. Thankfully he is not quick enough and I reach the safety of Jake's house.
"Bells?" Jake questions when he opens the door. I don't say anything, I simply break down into a fit of sobs as he engulfs me in a hug.
"Oh, Bella," he sighs, "tell me you didn't."
The fact that I am that obvious makes me sob even harder.
"Katie!" Jake shouts as he pulls my trembling form into the house.
"Yeah, baby?" Katie, Jake's wife takes in the sight of me and immediately extricates me from Jake's arms.
"Bella, honey, it'll be all right," she coos as she rubs my back soothingly.
I hate that they are being forced to deal with me in this condition… again. Jake and Katie had met shortly before the demise of my relationship with Paul, so she was there to witness my break down. Even though they had only been together about a month, she treated me as if she had known me for years and even saved me from Jake's constant hovering. We had all been close ever since.
"I slept with him! And the tattoos… I saw them! They're…. they're…" I began to hyperventilate.
"Bella! Calm down!" Katie shakes me slightly, trying to get me to snap out of my little fit of hysterics. Eventually I am able to breathe again and calmly tell her everything that happened.
"Sweetie, are you sure that you shouldn't try to work things out?" She asks me.
"Katie!" Jake scolds, but she waves him off.
"I mean, it's been years and he still affects you this way, and if those tattoos reflect how he feels about you, then he seems to be similarly affected." I look into her sympathetic blue eyes and shake my head. I can't let him have that power over me again.
"Maybe you should talk to Emmett. If anyone knows what you're going through, it's him," she urges and I know that she's right, but Em ended up back with Rose and I don't want to hear about how things can work out. I feel like if I give him another chance, everything I went through; the heartache, the life changes, the therapy, would all be for nothing. And he would hurt me again. I know he would. No, I can't. I won't give him that kind of power over me again.
But I nod anyway because if there's one thing I know about Katie is that she is relentless… and a hopeless romantic. She may act like a hard-ass, but in reality she's a big sap!
The telltale sign of Paul's motorcycle interrupts any further conversation.
"Here we go," Jake rolls his eyes and steps out onto the porch. Katie and I look out the window from our position on the couch and I hope that this ends peacefully. Jake has been dying to get his hands on Paul for years, but they have kept a safe distance from one another until now.
"Bella!" Paul calls, ignoring Jake all together.
"When a girl runs away, it usually means that she doesn't want to see you, dickhead." The sarcasm drips off Jake's tongue.
"This has nothing to do with you! It's between me and Bella. Bella!" He yells my name again and makes to push past Jake.
"Katie," I whisper, pleadingly. I have no idea what I'm begging for. Part of me wants to run to him and I'm begging her to hold me back, and the other part of me wants her to go out there and demand that he leave. No one would dare defy Katie. She's little, but she's really scary when she wants to be.
"You should really talk to him, Bella," she pauses and smirks, "but only after they beat the shit out of each other."
"What?" I screech.
"Oh, hush, Jake ruined my new boots… let his damn dog chew them up. And the ass forgot our anniversary. I'd say he's due an ass whipping." We both giggle until we hear the distinct sound of fists meeting flesh.
Since we weren't paying attention, I missed who threw the first punch, but I didn't miss the brawl that broke out.
"Katie, we've got to stop them," I whisper, my eyes never leaving the two men.
"But it's sort of hot," she whispers back.
"Katie!" I scold.
"Fine, let's go break them up," she huffs and struts out onto the front porch and whistles. One of those really loud whistles that I've never been capable of. They stop fighting, but keep a hold on one another.
A smile stretches across Paul's face when he sees me, and blood drips down his chin.
"Hey baby!" I have to fight to keep the smile off my face because he just looks so much like a little boy when he smiles like that.
"Let Jake up, Paul." My voice is quiet, and without authority but he complies anyway.
"Fucker," Jake spits at Paul as he walks to Katie who is smirking at him. I know that smirk. She wants to show him just how hot she thinks that little display was.
"Katie," I plead and it gets her attention.
"Party pooper," she sticks out her tongue.
"Why did you leave?" Paul is standing in front of me and I know he is going to touch me so I take a step back.
"I told you it didn't mean anything, Paul."
"You're so fucking full of shit, B. If it didn't mean anything you wouldn't have ran off like that!"
"Watch your tone with her, asshole." Jake takes a step forward but Katie holds him back.
"Can we just go somewhere and talk about this?" His tone is pleading and it matches his eyes. They look so damn sad.
No, don't fall for it, Bella. He'll break you again.
"There's nothing left to say, Paul. Girl falls for guy, gives him everything she has, he breaks her heart, she moves on. What else is there to say?" I can practically feel the anger rolling off him in waves now.
"If you had really moved on we wouldn't have made love last night! You're no more over me than I am you! Just fucking admit it!" He reaches out and grips my arms lightly.
"Making love? We fucked, Paul. Isn't that all we've ever done? After all, that's what you used to tell me, right? Paul Uley doesn't make love, he fucks." I imitate his voice when he told me that on one of our first real talks together.
"That changed! You fucking know it did! I may have not said it back then, but I fucking loved you, Bella!"
"You're right! You didn't say it when it counted, and you proved that you wouldn't have meant by fucking someone else the first chance you got!" Hot, angry tears stream down my face and Paul's expression softens.
"I know I fucked up. I know that, but I can make it better now. I was just a dumb fucking kid, Bella, and I thought I owed her something." Jake hisses at him because as much as he loves me, Rachel is his sister.
"Well, you should have thought about what you owed me! I loved you! I gave you everything! My body… I gave you my fucking heart and you tossed it back to me like trash! Never again will you get the chance to hurt me like that!"
I almost give in when he hit his knees in front of me, but I have held on to that pain for so long, I don't think I can let it go. I've been consumed by it for years.
"Please," he whispers.
"Bella," Katie pleads. She never could stand to see a grown man cry. Jake pulls her back and scolds her about letting me make my own decisions.
"Please just leave me alone, Paul. I'm here out of necessity, not because I desire to be. Let me live my life and you go back to living yours." My hand hovers over his cheek then drops to my side.
"I'll never leave you alone," he growls through clenched teeth. I know this Paul. This is possessive Paul. In my young, naïve days I found it hot when he would go all caveman on me, but now… now I just wanted it to be over. Infidelity is something I swore I would never condone. Not even for someone I loved as much as Paul.
"Then I'll leave again. The second I can find another job somewhere else, I'll be gone."
"Like hell you will! I'll follow you! Dammit, Bella! Just fucking talk to me!" His hands are in his hair and I want to tell him not to pull too hard. I want to loosen his grip for him and link our hands together, but that ship sailed years ago.
"It's been years, Paul. I'm over it. Last night was fun, and I think I needed it. I needed the closure."
Paul jumps up from his place on the ground, not even bothering to wipe the remaining tears from his face.
"Paul," Jake warns but there is no heat behind the words. I want to call him a traitor, but I don't. I am over Paul's shoulder and being thrown into the passenger seat of my own car. I make several attempts at escaping but he simply hauls me back until I agree to stay put. We drive until we are at the edge of the reservation. A beautiful home is before me and I pale. I knew this land. We use to park in the very spot where the house sits and make love for hours.
"I've spent all these years away from you building this, so that when I finally got you back I had something to offer you. Built it with my own two hands. Every free second I hade was dedicated to finishing this place."
I was too stunned to react and allowed him to pull me from the car and lead me into the house. It was my dream house. I had described it to him years ago, but never thought he was actually paying attention. To anyone else it would look seemingly plain with its pale yellow outer shell and white picket fence. The white shutters match the perfect little fence and accent the house perfectly. I am stunned silent and Paul has to tug on my arm to get me moving. Then we are in the house and it is full of soothing browns and tans with splashes of color along the way. The wooden floors are smooth and unblemished, although the wood looks slightly distressed.
"That patch of floor over there?" Paul points to a patch in front of the fireplace. "That came from our log. The one where we talked for the first time."
Why oh why couldn't he have made this sort of effort years ago when I still would have fallen into his arms? Now before you go and string me up, we have to remember that we live in the real world, and while I know this is all swoon-worthy, cheating has and always will be a deal breaker for me. It was the one thing that my mother actually took the time to teach me; once a cheater, always a cheater. It had been drilled into my head early on and it stuck with me always. I had watched as my flighty mother went from man to man, giving them everything she had until they proved that it wasn't enough. Time after time she caught them with other, younger women and she immediately moved on to another town and another man. Yet the one man who truly adored her and she refused to stick it out because he was too "boring".
After my debacle with Paul, I decided that I was becoming my mother and realized that I would learn to love boring! I was boring as hell, so it should fit well with me, right? Yet my body had always yearned for Paul. For his touch. Now I stood in this beautiful home that he built for me and I felt like I was being ripped in half. The part of me that still loved him, that reminded me of my mother, wanted to curl up on the oversized couch and make myself at home with him. But then I remembered everything I had gone through to pull myself out of the funk he had put me in. My dad had told me that I had always been such a "constant little thing" and worried that, like him, I would never recover. Never move on. For the people that had picked me up off the floor and put me back together, I had to stay strong and remember what he had done to me.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Paul. It's a beautiful home, but it's not mine. You have got to let this go and move on with your life." The words tasted like battery acid on my tongue. The thought of him moving on made me want to hurl, but it wouldn't be fair to want him to be alone when I hoped to move on myself. Just because he hurt me didn't mean he didn't deserve love and happiness. I just couldn't be the one to give it to him.
"That's not going to happen, little girl," Paul ground out through clenched teeth. "I don't give a shit what you say, I'm not giving up on you. I fucked up, and I have deserved every ounce of pain I've felt because of it, but I'm selfish enough to fight for you anyway. I know that I hurt you! But it's been so fucking long, B! You still love me! I know it! And if I have to lock you in this damn house to keep you then I'll fucking do it!"
The sad thing was that I knew he would do just that. He would have no qualms about locking me up. Unfortunately for him, Jake would tell Charlie, who would come in, guns blazing. And as much as I wanted to be rid of Paul in my life I didn't want him harmed in any way. With a heavy sigh I decided to try a compromise.
"All right, how about we just start out as friends. It's been years, Paul and I'm not the same girl that I was when you knew me. You may not even like me now." He rolled his eyes doubtfully.
"Bella, who in the hell do you think you're talking to? You're not fooling anyone here. This is just some bullshit excuse to get me to give you some space so you can leave. Not gonna' happen. And you can go ahead and call that fiancé of yours and call that shit off right now."
Okay, so there was no fiancé but the fact that he was ordering me around just pissed me off. So before I could think about what I was doing I lied.
"Yeah, I'd like to see you tell him that! Emmett wouldn't back down from you." Inside my head I could see Rosalie rolling her gorgeous blue eyes at me for being an idiot and involving her husband in my drama. Then again, she loved seeing men suffer and would probably get in on the action. If I could get away from Paul I would have to call them both and beg.
Paul laughed, but it was dark. I knew that he was ready to explode. He moved in my direction like a jungle cat stalking his prey. When he reached me he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me and pull me into him.
"Yeah, you bring that fucker here and see what happens. But I'll tell you this, I don't think he'd stick with you knowing what we did last night. And if you think I won't stoop low enough to tell him then you really don't know me." My breathing picked up the way it always did when I was that close to him.
"Look at you. Right now you're thinking about how I felt inside of you. How you want me to be there again. Aren't you?" He smirked and bent down so that his lips were pressed against my ear.
"Please, Paul?" I begged, unsure if I was begging for him to take me to the bedroom or release me.
"I knew you'd see it my way." He leaned in to kiss me but at the last second I gathered strength that I didn't know I even possessed and turned away from him.
"I meant, please let me go," I sobbed, unable to hold back all the emotions he had drug up.
"Never. The sooner you accept that the easier this will be for both of us. But you go ahead and bring your man here. I dare you," he spat before planting a sweet kiss on my cheek. I had never been so relieved in my life as I was to hear someone banging on his front door.
"Paul! Jake called me!" Sam's voice bellowed and I could have kissed him. "Now open the damn door and let the poor girl out of there!"
Paul strode over to the door and it creaked from the force of his pull.
"This is none of your fucking business, Sam," Paul spat. I could see the unspoken argument going on between the two of them. Sam was scolding him without saying a single word, and Paul was as defiant as ever.
"Bella, wait for me outside," Sam ordered, never taking his eyes off of Paul. I quickly moved to comply, seeing my way out. I would just stay inside my dad's house and make sure every door and window was locked until I could find a job somewhere else. Stupid economy.
"Bella, don't you dare!" Paul yelled. I could tell that he was getting upset and knew nothing good could come of leaving him when he was ready to freak out.
"Paul," I spoke as softly as I could as I made my way over to him and placed my hand on his back, "you can't just keep me here. You know my dad would come looking for me. And would you really keep me somewhere I didn't want to be? If you really love me like you say you do, you'd let me go."
His massive body trembled beneath my hand and without saying a word he stepped out of the way to let me pass. Sam led me to his truck but before I could climb in I heard the crashes coming from inside the house. My house.
"He'll be all right, Bells. Let's just go." Another crash stopped me from moving, but it was the horrid sound of Paul's tortured yell that did me in. I found my feet running toward the house, toward Paul. No matter what he had done to me I couldn't let him suffer that way.
"Oh, Paul," I sighed as I took in the scene before me. In that short amount of time he had destroyed the living room. Blood oozed from his hands, no doubt from his destructive behavior. He didn't look up at me from his position on the floor so I went to him and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders.
"Why would you do this, Paul?" When he didn't answer I made a move to go and find a first aid kit to clean him up but he pulled me into his lap instead.
"I can't do this again, angel. It will kill me." I shushed him and tried to think of a scenario in which I could help him without letting my heart get involved in the process.
A/N So, I had quite a few reviews and PM's asking me to continue (ahem, where are my pastries? LOL!) so I figured, what the hay. Not to mention Paul is so loud in my head! I don't have an update schedule for this or any idea how long it will be, but I will give them a story ;)
