Chapter 2: Collision Course (AKA; The Fable of Sable)
The New Mexican desert: A select spot for Stark industries to stockpile all of their obsolete weaponry and mechanical advancements, for the fact that in the very middle of the no-man's-land that the arms facility is located is only known by a few select people: Tony Stark himself, Colonel James Rhodes (the War Machine) and most recently Wilson Fisk, better known as The Kingpin. Wanting a taste of this power, as did a few others, Kingpin decided to employ the mutant mercenary Deadpool to infiltrate and "secure" as much of the goods as he could, and would be rewarded promptly.
The building itself was hardly a fortress and was much less reclusive than one would expect. A three-story white square in the middle of the desert, the moon reflected off the many windowpanes onto the reddish-brown sand nearby. The facility was not fortified for the reasons of hardly anyone willing to travel so far off the beaten path to grab a few antiques, but little did the squad of armed personnel and several maintenance engineers suspect that it was about to become quite the hotspot that evening.
Footsteps echoed down the bleached white walls as moonlight poured down through the center atrium to illuminate the collection of exotic plants; included so that it did not all look artificial. Two guards, each with UMP 45 submachine guns in hand, walked side by side down the hallway. Six men total were charged with protecting the Stark depository, which was a pretty simple albeit boring job: Nothing ever happened as they walked side-by-side in separate shifts in a complete square, sometimes even up and down floors, if the night was interesting, though it seldom was.
"…When the bartender asks why he didn't order blood like the others, the other vampire pulls out a tampon and says "I'm having tea." came from one of the guards, to which his patrol-partner offered several schoolgirl titters and the other guards on the comm. channel gave a great many moans of protest. "That was retarded, Scott." came from a patroller on the opposite side of the complex. With indignation, "Scott" responded "Yeah? Let's see you do better, Greg. You're as funny as a dead goat." Before Greg could bite back, their commanding officer bumped into the channel. "Quit the comm.-gibber, ladies. Something just tripped the infrared laser grid on the roof. You want go check it out?" Greg scoffed along with Scott. "Probably just a bird, sir. Nothing to be worried abou-"
All the guards' sentences were cut short by a catastrophic crash from up above, as a shape plummeted through the atrium like a baseball in a window. Along with a noisy assault of glass clattering on the ceramic tile far below, a loud "BANZAAIIIII!" rang out from the direction of the dynamic burglar as he upholstered two machine pistols and began firing them randomly, the bullets pinging about and shattering plates of porcelain hither and thither. The residents were scrambling to reach the bottom floor and take cover once the assailant made touchdown, which he did after a matter of seconds.
Deadpool landed in the soil of the main floor's garden, his head bowed and his pistols pointed downwards whilst he kneeled, the weapons' barrels still blazing red and smoking from their rapid discharge. The shadowy black and the bloody red of his bodysuit took on an ominous and eerie appearance in the silver luminescence of the moon. His blank eyes squinting with purpose and murderous intent, the "visitor" then reached his feet slowly in parallel to the guards, who were quaking with fright, before his eyes widened suddenly and he hopped up and down on one foot, gripping the ankle of the other after dropping both empty weapons.
He then began to yowl in pain as the facility guards noticed a jagged shard of glass in the sole of his raised foot, probably having been embedded in the turf below and Wilson having had the misfortune to land atop of it. "Oh my FSM, this hurts like a biiiitch!!" He cried out in intense agony as he looked to the guards, his brow furrowing with disappointment as they shrugged and looked at each other confusedly. "Well, don't just stand there, you pricks! Help me get this thing out of my plucking foot!"
He pointed to one of them. "You look like a new guy…Larry", Deadpool said after a pause to squint towards the novice guard's nametag to see his name. The newbie, obviously shaken, hesitated. "C'mon…you don't want your first night to end up as a lawsuit, do ya?" Ramirez, the higher ranked officer, barked out at the maniac because of the weighty threat. "YOU're the one that broke through OUR ceiling, buddy! You've broken a few laws already." Deadpool rolled his eyes, sighing. "But I got injured by the glass funded by this facility. Clearly, my lawsuit would be reinforced by the poor maintenance of this complex, seeing as you can't even clean up some friggin' glass."
Dumbfounded and particularly irritated by the mercenary's logic, Ramirez just casually pointed from Larry to the injured assailant with a grunt. The inept stepped forth and pulled a first aid kit from his waist. Before he could even open it once he reached Deadpool, the masked maniac thrust the large fracture of glass into the stomach of the approaching guard with a kick, who gurgled as the "blade" pierced through the Kevlar vest and became imbedded in both it and in Larry's intestines.
Having gotten the glass stuck in something else, Deadpool cackled as he kicked himself off Larry's chest. "You just got punk'd, sucka!" The boost allowed him to vault over off the garden area into some pillars outlining the lobby just as the other guards began to open fire with the forty-five caliber automatics. Deadpool leaned his head against the pillar, wincing as the penetrated flesh of his injured foot began to mesh itself back together. With a chuckle, he remembered that the only thing he had owned thanks for towards the Weapon X program was a knockoff of the mutant Wolverine's healing factor. "Here's to you, you hairy bastard…" With that mutter to himself, he spun two modified Israeli Desert Eagles off of his belt and into his fingers before leaning out of cover to return fire with five calibers higher and a three round burst to each monster handgun.
The heavy slugs coming closer to their heads then they may comfortable with, the guards decided to duck down, five of them having been effectively pinned down by only one psychopath. "Don't MAKE me come over there, you guys. Just give me clearance to the lower vault and it'll all be hunky-dory with all your limbs still on you" Deadpool yelled his demands over the lobby garden, to which Ramirez yelled "Never!" as he stood to spray his weapon at the attacker in a devout fervor to defend his pay. His attempted suppression was cut short as three fifty-caliber rounds splintered his chest, causing him to fall with ease. "You guys must REALLY like your jobs! It's not like I'm threatening to eat your babies." The maniac then paused for a moment to both suspend the guards and refill his pistols. "Mmmm, BABEHS…" He then howled with perturbing laughter after reloading both of his weapons and continued his pinning.
Without any provocation, the wall behind Deadpool burst inwards in a cataclysmic explosion of a volcanic orange with a strange silvery lining. As he lay dazed amongst the rubble after being tossed, he began to connect dots as to what had just happened to him. His pure white eyes widening from horror, he realized that only this sort of blast could only be released from a certain roundhouse kick (in his mind's eye). He then reached his feet and began to run frantically away from the gaping hole in the wall, jumping over the bewildered heads of the guards opposite him in the lobby. "Whatever deity you worship, people, they have forsaken you!! Chuck Norris is here!! RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!!!" he wailed in sheer terror as he unsheathed his adamantium katanas, the blades flashing briefly in the constant moonlight, and slashed through a door leading to the stockpile in the basement.
Despite being horrified at how Wilson described his assault with relish and great detail, Ms. Cole couldn't help but allow a look of amusement to grace her face at Deadpool's suggested reaction to the explosion. "You thought…it was Chuck Norris, huh?" to which the mercenary's tone dropped to a dangerous level and his eyes took on a serious yet indignant look. "Listen here, sister: If Chuck Norris is in any way involved in ANY job, no amount of cash whatsoever is worth it, bar none! But it really wasn't him…had every right to be afraid it was though."
Panting for air after his frenzied sprint into the lower area of the facility, Deadpool was hunched over, gripping his kneecaps to catch his breath after being winded. He blinked in confusion as he could hear his own breaths as if they were echoing. The manic merc looked up and purposely let out a sighing breath into the darkness as he squinted further down range. Bereft of any outlines in the oblong black, Deadpool drew the conclusion that…the "goods" were already out of there, the basement being completely empty.
Cursing in frustration, he hopped up straight with an aggressive look in his eyes. "Dammit! Being forced into a Norris-Scare is ONE thing but getting 'Rolled' right afterwards into realizing that the job's a muck-up? Someone's gonna be hurting tonight!" he nearly shouted into the darkness. Though it was in the back of his mind, his ears caught the sound of a struggle going on upstairs from where he retreated. He could only discern several grunts and yells, coming from both the entire squad and another new voice: A woman's. Once he had made it back from the underworld of the facility, Deadpool blinked in surprise as he stared across to the pile of unconscious guards and the figure standing victoriously amongst them. The mutant's jaw slackened, not only in awe towards the woman's prowess but also in acknowledgement to how exceedingly beautiful she was.
Clad in a stunning and shape-yielding silver bodysuit with several edged discs along the sleeves and upon the thighs, the woman had a sort of luminescent skin tone, so fair that it was difficult to deem her human. The most unnatural feature of hers was her flowing shoulder-length hair, which was a striking and divine platinum blonde, the hue of which had served to accentuate her ice blue eyes. Her refined European features and full pale lips were locked in a neutral expression as she stood above her fallen targets.
Deadpool was lucky he ran while he did, for the Silver Sable, one of the most cunning and effective guns-for-hire upon the Earth, would have taken him down in a heartbeat. Her efficiency came mostly from her skill, speed and the fact that she seldom killed anyone during a mission, unless they just happen to drive her past the brink of anger. Despite the fact that a female who could drop him like a bad habit with ease confronted Wilson, it did not change the factor that he was entranced…which did not exactly happen often.
Sable caught Deadpool advancing in the shadows as she smirks subtly. "Ahh…Wilson", her voice lightly accented by a western-European lift. "Long time, no see huh?" Deadpool scratched the back of his head as he begrudgingly stepped into the moonlight pouring out into the lobby. "Yeah, I s'pose you could say that." He spoke with caution, as talking to hear was an embarrassing endeavor since the Moroccan Assignment.
Cole interrupted Wilson with respect, questioning what the prior "assignment" was. "Wellll…Sable and I were hired as a team to attack a fortress occupied by HYDRA. Right when we about to barge down the commander's door, she didn't know I had placed a charge on the door. I tried to pull her away…which she had mistaken for…" He coughed to clear his throat before continuing. "'Grabbing up', which led to me getting kicked in the gonads and her leaving, finding me a threat. The two guards who were about to shoot us stopped themselves before they could open up." Begrudgingly gritting his teeth, he continued. "They were too busy laughing their asses off to even aim steadily." The reporter could not help but recreate the scene in her mind and was unable to prevent a small scoff of humor. Annoyed by having to recount one reason why he is the laughing stock of the mercenary world, he raised an eyebrow and questioned with a cynical tone. "May I continue?"
Scowling beneath his mask, he was reluctant to bring his eyes upward to meet hers. "What the hell are you doing here anyway, what with nearly blowing me to smitheroons, like cowroker Jim?" (Hoo, boy, Wilson's crankin' out the Internet references like crazy, huh?) Deadpool jumped as if spooked and swiveled his head about the room in frenzy. "Alright, who the f**k said that?!", he yelled with rage as if this had been haunting him for a long time now. (What? I just started the damn fic…you don't know me.) Sable blinked, bewildered towards his attack of schizophrenia but allowed herself to widen her smirk. "Not too sure…maybe somebody really wants to see you grope me again," She teased with a light giggle. "Hey, quit it!" Wilson barked on the rebound. "How many times do I have to say it? I was worried about your well-being." He blinked, the cheeks on his mask darkening as the un-healing scars mapping his obscured face leaking blood as if he had blushed. "Prolly could have worded that better…" He muttered to himself.
The female merc's smile spread to a full-on grin of amusement. "Yes, you should have…Otherwise, I would get the wrong idea about you." She spoke, wagging her finger only slightly to him in mock scolding. "But yes, I came here to intercept and destroy some military tech that AIM is looking for." Deadpool recognized the name of the former government think-tank Advanced Ideas for Mechanics that became a rogue terrorist cell. "Well, you and they are in for a surprise-" Before Wilson could share the status of the facility's missing inventory; the sound of spinning propellers was heard from the broken top of the lobby. A UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter hovered over the two conversing mercenaries, holding its altitude and movement as four figures clad in vibrant orange body-armor and armed with M4 Carbines dropped from zip-ropes deployed out the sides of the aircraft. Sable and Deadpool had managed to move into cover, hiding behind the pillars surrounding the lobby and beyond the sight of the newly arriving hostiles.
The AIM soldiers unhooked the rifles from their backs upon touchdown. They fanned out, scanning the area and looking down their attached ACOG (Wee, abbreviations!) scopes officially. Their armors were adorned with a superfluous gas mask with two long tubes in each side that led to a pack in their back, which seemed entirely ornamental. It took them a few moments to realize that they were obliviously standing over the unconscious guards strewn about the atrium garden. One of the soldiers approached the tallest members of their squad, whose left arm was especially bulky and armored, obviously cybernetic. "Orders, sir?" The officer responded by pointing the under-slung Masterkey shotgun at one of the incapacitated guards and firing it, ripping apart the Stark employee's torso with a sickening splash. After remorselessly disposing of the guard, the AIM officer looked back to his underling, his golden-lens goggles flashing with light from his turning as he spoke simply through the vox "Repeat."
The soldiers then promptly began to clean up without honor or mercy, which allowed Deadpool to engage his personal teleportation device to the dismay of Sable. "W-what the hell are you doing? Don't leave me in here with them." She whispered fiercely. "Sorry, toots…I wouldn't want to grab up on you again." He chuckled and winked as he dematerialized from the building and reappeared a few miles away from it in an instant.
"…And –that's- how my job went before this interview. I didn't really get paid, but I can't say it wasn't fun." Deadpool shrugged with finality and a faint smirk. Cole blinked with horror. "You left her with those AIM soldiers?" Deadpool responded with a wave of his hand and a tone of expectation "Pfft…She friggin' destroyed them from what I've heard. Come to think of it…I saw it in the headlines of –your- newspaper." Deadpool's eyebrow raised as Cole looked to the side nervously. "Oh! Err…right. Silly me." She looked at her notes and frowned. Wilson, not noticing the shift of her eyes, caught her distraught face. "What's up?" She blinked as she smiled weakly towards him and his inquiry. "Oh…I don't mean to keep you here but…could you give me some more? I haven't got enough for the article I'm writing." Deadpool sighed with slight contempt as he retorted with another passive shrug. "Oh alright…because I can't help but think it fun remembering the physical pain that I've had to endure."
And thus began his recounting of being embroiled in a clone war of the non-lightsaber-y kind, where he was mistaken for another tight-wearer and forced to fight two web-slingers to the not-so death (Wee, hyphens!).
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Next Chapter: The Reilly Factor (AKA: My First and Last Three-some)
