I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a white towel with the Suna symbol emblazoned on it in red. I liked these towels. I bet they don't have anything quite as nifty in Konoha. Nifty? Did I just think the word nifty? This whole Shikamaru thing has gotten my brain all fucked up. What was it…? Guilt? It couldn't be. I didn't even know the kid. But Temari did. That had to be it. Crap. It was guilt.
I got some clothes on and went back to the living room. The two women were still there, bawling their eyes out. How long were they going to cry for?
"How long are you going to cry for?" I clapped a hand over my mouth. Shit! I have to stop saying whatever pops into my head!
Temari looked up. "You… Asshole!" She started throwing pillows and stuff at me.
"No, wait! Wait! I didn't mean it like that-!"
"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have!" She continued to throw random objects at me.
"Jesus Christ!" I yelled as I dodged a gold silk pillow.
But then, she threw something heavier. It hit me in the head. Hard. I heard something crack. Something warm and red started dripping down my face. I was on the ground. I was bleeding. I was… Well, swearing. "You little fucking bitch… Why… did you do that? You dumbass… Oh… Fuck…" Blood was pooling under my head, matting my hair. I was shaking. "Don't just stand there… do something!"
After Ino left, nobody else came by to see me. Kurenai didn't come back. Nobody did. Not even Naruto. Not even my dad. Someone knocked on the door once, but when I opened it, there was no one there. I left the door open and wandered back to the bed and sat down. I knew that Shikamaru's funeral had already taken place. Ino had gone. I had not.
Why would I? Shikamaru was sitting right next to me. Why would they hold a funeral for someone who wasn't dead?
When I asked him, he shrugged. He told me that maybe I AM dead, and grief has caused you to hallucinate.
I said, No. Naruto was lying. They were all lying. How can you be dead, I asked him, when you're right there next to me?
Losing someone close to a person can do crazy things to them, he replied.
No, I said. They're all just lying to me. You're not dead.
He shrugged again and told me, Eat something.
I shook my head. I'm not hungry, I said
He laughed. You're always hungry.
I smiled. I felt myself drifting off to sleep. I hoped he would be there when I woke up.
He was.
Chouji, you need to eat, he said. Go downstairs, your dad made dumplings.
No thanks, I said, if I leave this room I'm worried that you won't be here when I come back.
Maybe I will, maybe I won't, he said, but if you don't eat you'll starve to death.
I don't want you to go away.
You're making yourself sick.
I don't want you to leave me! I thought my tears had all dried up. Yet, here they were again. They streamed down my face. I didn't try to stop them or wipe them away. Please don't make me go away!
He looked at me. His face was full of concern as he said, I'm not going to go anywhere. Go eat before you pass out.
I wiped my tears away. Promise? I said, still sobbing.
I promise, he said. Now go. Eat something.
I went down the stairs. Dad didn't say anything. I hugged him when I was done eating. Then, I went back up to my room.
When I came back, Shikamaru was gone.
And my tears came back again.
