Recap: Read the first chapter. ;-)

"Hahaha!"

"Oh man that was awesome."

"Way to go Adam!"

As the rest of the Ducks applauded and Adam took a bow Portman quickly went from shocked to fuming.

"Listen preppy, Julie needs a real man…"

"Pfft"

"What Averman?"

"Hahahahahaha! You're a real man?"

"Alright, he's gonna get it."

"Hey now, leave him alone, he knows not what he says."

"It's true, I don't."

"See?"

"Fine, he lives."

"Yay!"

"For now."

"Uh-oh."

"Okay, I am definitely a real man, my cock it huge."

"Oh my god."

"I take back anytime I said this before, THAT was an over-share."

"I don't think I'll ever recover."

"Whatever Banks mine's bigger."

"I don't believe you."

"Wanna bet?"

"Hey, keep in mind you owe me quite a bit of money."

"Can it Germaine."

"Can we please not discuss the size of anyone's cock?"

"Amen, thank you Ken… Ken!? When did you get here?"

"Just now, your front door is unlocked."

"What?! You mean someone could have come into my house and stolen my innocence?"

"Relax Captain Duck, no one wants your innocence."

"Touché Goldberg."

"Shut up Russ."

"How was San Francisco Ken?"

"It was fun thanks. Okay, one more word about what you were discussing and then the subject is closed."

"And what's that?"

"Mine's bigger then ALL of yours."

"Do you guys often fight over this? Just wondering."

"Are you asking if we often talk about our penises with each other?"

"God no."

"Yeah, it's just to impress you ladies, or any other ladies who might be present at the time."

"I didn't know our opinions mattered."

"Of course they do! Guys want all girls to think that theirs' is the biggest."

"Why is that?"

"So you'll want to have sex with us."

"…"

"Yep, that sounds about right."

"So, is either of you interested?"

"I'm taken."

"What about you Julie?" asked Portman with a big smirk on his face. Julie couldn't resist the opportunity to wipe it right off.

"Sure, are you busy this weekend?"

"I'm always free for you babe."

"That's nice, but I was asking Adam."

"DAMN!"

"Oh man she played you bo-"

"Oh shut up."

"OoooOOOoooh, someone's jealous."

"I'd say so."

"I'm free Saturday Julie," said Adam with a wink.

"Wow, and I thought Portman was smooth with the whole truth or dare gimmick, but Banks has hardly said anything and somehow got Julie to ask him for sex."

"Could you give me some pointers Adam?" asked Fulton jokingly.

"Yeah me too?" asked Charlie not-too-jokingly.

"Um, I was kidding Charlie."

"What? Oh yeah, so was I… ha ha."

"Sure man, sure," said Fulton, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"You guys, Julie isn't really going to have sex with Banks, she's kidding."

Julie gave Portman a furious look that everyone else knew meant trouble. This was going to be good, Julie's temper was unrivaled by anyone they knew.

"Oh, and who are you to say what I do with my body?"

"I'm not, I'm just saying… I don't know. I just don't believe you are going to sleep with him. That's all."

"Well I'll videotape it then and send you a copy for proof," snapped Julie.

"She's going to make an amateur porn star out of you Adam."

"That's fine, whatever the lady likes," responded Adam, throwing a wink in Julie's direction and making her blush and grin.

"You can say what you like Julie, but I still don't believe you."

"Okay, fine. Believe what you want, but I am having hot passionate sex with Adam this weekend."

"Well if you do then you'll hurt your chances of dating me."

"Oh yeah? Well what if I don't want to date you anymore, you arrogant pinhead."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Sheesh," whispered Fulton, "this is the messiest break-up from an almost relationship that I have ever seen."

"Dude, this is the messiest break-up I've ever seen period."

"Question, am I going to get laid this weekend or not?"

"Tough call man," answered Ken. "On one hand she might just be saying that to make Portman angry-"

"True."

"-but on the other foot she might go for it to make him really angry. Either way she's using you to make him jealous. Or she's done with him completely and wants to release sexual frustration, and in that case she's using you for your body."

"Fine by me."

"How do you know all of this Ken?"

"Four sisters, none of whom know how to keep their voices down."

"Teach me the ways of women Ken," pleaded Charlie. "I'm beginning to feel desperate."

"Dude, you dated Linda. You are WAY past desperate."

"Shut up, she's nice."

"… nice and crazy," muttered Goldberg.

"That's not fair."

"Didn't you meet her because she was bashing hockey?"

"She wasn't bashing hockey, she was trying to get people to sign a petition to change the-"

"Demeaning Warrior name," finished the rest of the team.

"Give it up, she's a nutjob."

"Okay fine, but that doesn't do anything for me now."

"We know."

"I want to hear what Ken has to say, we'll see if he actually knows what he's talking about," said Connie. She really was interested in hearing his theories about girls.

"Well, as far as I know, even though they'll never admit it, sometimes girls love confident borderline egotistical guys."

"Except Julie apparently."

"Well, its not that Julie is an exception, Portman's just an idiot. He wasn't supposed to laugh it off when Julie said she was going to sleep with Adam; he was supposed to get jealous and resolve to win her love."

"Wow, you are good," said Connie, clearly impressed.

"Yeah I actually kind of get it," said Charlie. "You should write a book translating all the mad things girls do so boys can understand them."

"No way, if everyone knew it would take my advantage away."

"Well I still don't understand how Banks got dragged into all of this."

"We went over that already!" answered Ken, exasperated at Dwayne's clueless-ness. "She might use Adam for his body."

"Oh."

"Why can't she take her sexual frustration out on me?"

"Portman did not directly challenge your manhood, the blow will hit better if she gets with someone he didn't consider would be an issue. Fulton would have been ideal in this case but they are best friends and she knew Fulton would never do that. Oh, and she's also pissed that he acted like he had her in the bag; she doesn't want to look like an easy catch. That one comment, 'I'm always free for you babe' might have worked if he had tried it when she wasn't already so mad at him."

"That's true," added Connie.

"You're amazing Ken," said Charlie reverently.

"I'm taken Conway," replied Ken.

"Har har."

"Where are Julie and Portman?"

"In Charlie's living room, still bickering."

"I foresee them having angry, violent hate sex."

"Hey, not cool, I'm supposed to be the one getting laid next weekend."

"You're not the only one," commented Goldberg, while trying to subside his laughing. "Guy is probably going to get laid too… Ow! That hurt woman!"

"Haha, you got knocked out by a girl!"

"They don't call me the Velvet Hammer for nothing!"

"Who calls you that? It sounds like a porn star name," teased Goldberg.

"It's on now!" Connie made a lunge for Goldberg but Guy wrapped his arms around her waist before she could get him.

"One more comment Goldie and I'll let her pound you."

"Relax! It's all in good fun! I know Averman used to call her that when she was bigger then the rest of us and really could knock everyone over on the ice!"

Their exchange was broken by Julie yelling from the next room. "You… you… YOU BIG IDIOT!"

"Man, I am never listening to Portman again, I have never seen someone screw himself over so badly."

"Except when Luis was under the table looking up the cheerleaders' skirts, and then stole Mindy from Riley."

"That was a mistake, I don't care about Riley, but Mindy encouraged me to be gay."

"Hahaha!"

"What, was she bad in bed?" joked Russ.

"No, she was good-"

"I didn't really want to know, but that's nice."

"- but in every other aspect she was really irritating."

"I can see that."

"Wait," interrupted Goldberg, "You don't like really irritating people yet you hooked up with Averman last night? How does that make sense?"

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Quiet you guys! Ken's teaching me how to get with the ladies! Actually, I should probably ask Guy too."

"Why Guy?"

"Because he wore that stupid green hat for about 12 years and still managed to hold on to Connie."

"Hey, I will have you know that that happens to be my favorite hat. If I knew where it was I would still wear it." Connie suddenly looked guilty but lucky for her Guy didn't notice.

"Okay Charlie, as interesting as your love life is…" said Portman re-emerging from the living room behind an indignant looking Julie.

"Not," snickered Averman.

"Hey!"

"… it doesn't solve the biggest problem."

"And what is that?"

"I haven't had any breakfast yet!"

"Portman, you just threw up."

"Yes, and now my stomach is empty."

"Well too bad, there is no breakfast left."

"Then go and find some for me."

"It is not my job to feed you."

"It is everybody's job to feed me when I wish to be fed."

"Oh shut your mouth," said Julie, rolling her eyes at him.

"You gave up your right to bully me when you picked Banks, unless you take it back, then you can whip me if I misbehave."

"Oh no mister, you lost your chance because of your big mouth, I'm still hooking up with Adam this weekend."

"You are not."

"YES I AM!"

"Not this again," said Guy as Adam made a victory gesture, and kissed Julie's hand. Julie smiled at him and Portman's temper snapped. He punched Adam right in the jaw, knocking him to the ground and taking them both down.

I wasn't actually planning on leaving it there, I have some more written out but I got tired of typing. I'll update soon. Cheers! And review please. I'm not going to demand a certain amount before I update because it's really lame when people do that but I would like to hear from anyone who reads my stuff. And thank you for reading!

The quote "You should write a book translating all the mad things girls do so boys can understand on is from a Harry Potter book. It's either the Goblet of Fire or the Order of the Phoenix. I'm pretty sure it's the fifth one though.