An: I forgot the disclaimer last time, but you guys all know this. I don't own anything. Really.
But the smell was gone. Disappeared! Just like that. My eyes started to clear and I shook my head to get rid of the last traces of the smell of blood. I looked around to see Carlisle and Bella looking at me, disappointment showing in their eyes. I blinked, suddenly remembering where I was. I was in my basement, trying to see if I could resist the smell of human blood. And so far, I couldn't. It had been several months already. I moaned, the reality finally hitting me. I was a disappointment; a failure to everyone. Bella came over and wrapped her arms around me. I had changed Bella a little over two years ago. After the transformation, we found out that she was immune to the smell of blood. With that, I decided to go a certain rampage. I wanted to renounce my sins and learn how not to be a monster. I thought Bella and Carlisle could help me get rid of my personal demons, seeing as they were the top two people I cared mostly about. But it turned out that Carlisle and Bella could only help me so far. It was mostly up to me. Once the smell got into my senses, all trace of reality vanished leaving only me as the monster with his prey, the blood.
I sighed. This was getting very frustrating. Bella wrapped her arms more securely around me.
"Oh, sweetie, don't be too disappointed. You can do it. I know that. And you almost got over it this time, I could tell. Oh, Edward, don't beat yourself up over it. You can do it," she repeated.
"There's always next time," Carlisle stated, studying me with his wise eyes. "Besides, it took me much longer to get over it."
"But still," I sighed, disappointed, angry, and extremely frustrated at myself. I wanted to pull away from Bella, too ashamed to even look at my beautiful angel. I couldn't let her see the terrible monster I was. But Bella wouldn't let go, tightening her arms.
"Edward," she said, stern. "Don't pull away. It is perfectly natural to not be able to do it yet. An you are doing very well already." Oh, how I love her. Only she would still be able to love me after all I did or couldn't do.
"Edward, I'll always love you," she whispered, as if reading my mind, instead of vice versa. "No matter what."
"I love you too. So much," I whispered back.
Carlisle had already gone back upstairs so Bella and I went up. The rest of our family was gathered in the living room already. They murmured their sympathies, rather unsurprised. I didn't know whether to feel offended or grateful for not making such a big deal out of it. I sighed, deciding I didn't care.
Edward, don't make such a big deal of it. You've got plenty of time, came Alice's thoughts.
"Yeah, yeah, I heard it already. Spare me the speech. But all those humans, dying because I can't get over my stupid weakness. I can't help them because I've got my own personal problems," I was fuming at my weakness, clenching my hands, despite Bella's soothes.
"Edward!" Esme's voice was uncommonly sharp. "Don't think like that! For all those people who will die, you can do nothing about it. But there are plenty of other doctors that will help. And some people's fate is to die early. There is nothing you can do about it. Edward, just take everything one step at a time and get over this obstacle before you worry about anything yet, understood?"
"I understand. Thanks Mom," I mumbled. "Now, can you all just please leave me alone?" Without waiting for a reply, I closed my eyes, feeling my family members leave. Good luck next time, was what they thought. I leaned back into the couch, wishing to fall asleep. I stayed like that for a few more minutes, until I finally opined my eyes, thinking I would be alone. But I found Bella sitting next to me, staring at me with those big, now-topaz, eyes. It wasn't the same as the beautiful chocolate brown color I had loved, but still beautiful nonetheless.
"Want to go for a run?" I offered, taking her hand. I grinned at her, feeling incredibly light, as a smile graced her countenance. I took her in my arms and took out the door.
"Edward," she squealed. "I can run to, now. Let me down!" I knew she could run but I loved the feeling f her in my arms, expecially when I needed her the most.
A/N: Short, I know. I've got more but I need reviews...
