Dear Uncle,
I am currently in a meeting about budget expenditures and my mind wanders back to when I was fourteen years old and I had my first "special dream" as you call it. It is taking all of my self-control not to laugh, but thinking about your expression, which was a mix of pride and shock, makes me want to laugh. I remember dreaming about that servant girl in the palace, remember, the one who used to serve us breakfast. You would tell me that her body was sculpted by the Gods themselves and their wives were so jealous that they sent her to be a mere servant girl in a grand palace to teach her humility. If I remember correctly, father burned her when she was late with breakfast one morning, although I don't remember her being late, and marred her beautiful looks – you were very disappointed that morning. I never saw her again though and always wondered what happened to her.
Since my coronation, my "special dreams" take place in water (which doesn't seem to help matters) and Katara takes the place of the servant girl (in my opinion, Katara's beauty is far superior to the servant girl's). What is wrong with me? She's marrying my best friend in two days and all I can think about is… argh! I can't even write it on paper to a letter that will never be sent! Uncle, what I would give to hear one of your aggravating proverbs that never made sense to me – at least then I would have something else to puzzle over! My feelings for Katara have gotten out of hand.
"I'll save you from the pirates"…I said those words to her that day when they were running away from the pirates after they stole that scroll. When I remember who I was then…I am so ashamed to think of who I used to be. I never saved her from the pirates. I left her tied up, like a package, ready for them to take her hostage. I never saved her from anything and, ironically enough, she ended up saving me. I couldn't save her from a gang of stupid pirates and she… saved me from…me.
I was a bitter, angry, teenager – oh how I must have annoyed you uncle with my teenage antics, but you stuck by me. Do you remember how displeased you were with me when you found out I had stolen her necklace? You begged me to give it back to her, but I couldn't… it's not that I was too stubborn and wouldn't give it back to her, but I couldn't. Her necklace was…it was a charm for me, a totem, something to latch on to, something to look forward too. At that time, I was so hell-bent on capturing the avatar that I didn't realise the significance of the treasure I had within my grasp. I could have used it as a peace offering but… I am glad to see that I have grown since then. She has taught me so much and I know that I have grown even more in her presence. She brings out the best side in me. Even when we spar, I have finally come to understand how to use the fire and control it without anger. You tried teaching me uncle and I am ashamed to say that the only way I could learn to control it is because of her. The fire sages at the palace wonder at my improvement and have even told me that my accuracy rivals that of the Great Dragon himself – at that moment uncle, I was thinking of whether your reaction would be that of a proud master or that of a proud master with a tiny hint of jealousy. I sway toward the latter, and so does Katara- no offense to you uncle but I know that you wore the title "Great Dragon" with much pride.
There are other fires, temptations if you will, that I have also learned to curb. Katara came to dinner a few nights ago dressed in a beautiful fire nation dress – I do believe it was mother's at some point since I have a memory of her wearing it – and she was breath-taking. Of course, she spent the whole evening complaining about how wearing fire nation attire was an affront to her culture and then she complained how it reminded her of when she and the gaang was in hiding from us. Of course she knew I would feel uncomfortable – Uncle, sometimes I think she says things like this to deliberately berate me.
Yes uncle, I did take the bait after a while and curtly ended her complaining. I enjoy those verbal spars I have with her as much as I enjoy the bending sparring. I don't know if she enjoys them too but… I wish she did… She brought up the necklace incident again and I was silent. She kept making remarks about her feelings toward the necklace and its sentimental value it held.
Now she wears another necklace. As beautiful as it is, I have another one just for her in the vaults that's very simple and I hope one day to give it to her, even if it's just as friends.
The fire sages have noticed that fact that I have not been paying attention and Katara just gave me one of her infamous stares that tended to render Aang and Sokka quiet and still. I am ashamed to say that I was scared enough to put down my quill and paid attention until she finally looked away and started paying attention to the fire sage, who continues to talk about raising taxes when I have explicitly told him that I will not be doing that for the next few years at least.
Katara has just given me another stare. This confuses me because I don't know whether to be scared or whether my feelings for her just grow even more.
Zuko
Katara didn't know whether to laugh or remain stoic on what she had just read. She leaned back in the chair and put the letter down tentatively before scrambling through the sheaf of papers frantically trying to find more letters. She picked the next one up, and before starting to read it, she rubbed her eyes hoping to rub away some of the anxiety.
