Chapter One: First Lies

Captain Firrian frowned as I showed him Revan's mask as proof the Dark Lord was dead. He scratched his head, "You're a plucky Jedi, I'll give you credit for that. I didn't think you had it in you to kill one of your own."

I glared at him, "I didn't kill Revan. Malak did. Malak fired on us while I was on the ship. I…." my glare went sour, "I wanted Revan alive, Captain Firrian. I don't like killing any of our fallen….."

Firrian snorted, "Bah….and I doubt Revan felt the same about you. These Sith want us all dead or to submit to them. I don't get Jedi compassion. You lot are a strange bunch." He took a look at 'Kara' and shook his head, "She looks half dead, and this is what your valued Jedi compassion gets you. Death. There was three of you and now there's just you and this one and she might not survive, judging by how she looks. All this….just to go after one fallen Jedi. How smart is that, Jedi Bastila? No wonder your numbers are dwindling in the universe."

I still felt sour inside about this, I had left Kara dead, naked and stripped of her clothing and Talon. The Captain was right, how many more Jedi would die? I felt like I barely blinked an eye at their deaths. It made me feel cold and hollow inside. I felt as dead, well almost as dead as Revan.

"Captain…" I mulled the words over, "Regardless of the sacrifice from me and the others of the order, the Republic needs us. Kara, Talon and I knew the risk when we became part of the Jedi Order. Sacrifice is a Jedi's lot in life. It's not always pleasant. We always knew that the day might come that we might give our lives in service not just to the order, not just to the republic but to the galaxy itself."

Captain Firiran sighed, "Brave words, hope they comfort you when this gal here dies."

I furrowed my brow suddenly upset, "She's not dead yet, captain and I need you to make all effort to get us back to the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine."

The captain frowned, "Why? Your mission to capture the Dark Lord was a bust and…."

The first lies came so easily to my lips, "Captain, I have information that I downloaded from Revan's ship that I can only deliver personally to the Jedi Masters. It is important to the war effort and to the Republic. As for Kara, she took a really bad blow to her head when Malak's barrage hit the bridge. I doubt there is anything your healers can do for her except to treat her internal injuries. She needs Jedi healers to help heal her mind, assuming..."

"Assuming what?"

I carefully touched Revan's mind, it was all a jumble, a mishmash of memories all out of order and nothing I could fully read. It really was a miracle I had a conversation with her before she succumbed to her injuries. "Her mind is severely damaged, captain. She may never be the same person….ever again."

I suddenly felt sad. I don't know why but my shoulders slumped in sadness and despair. I had my hopes pinned that maybe the Jedi Order could get something out of Revan, but no….that felt like a lie even to me. Something inside me felt pulled to the comatose woman. I had a deep concern over her welfare. I passed it off as tiredness as well as the compassion I had from saving Revan on the bridge of her ship.

The captain frowned seeming to notice my sadness. "I am sorry...I didn't realize you two were close."

I sighed and found half lies, half truths coming to my lips, "I barely knew her, Captain. It's just….it's just this war. I meet new people, get to know them briefly and then they are ripped away from me before I get to know them any better. "

The captain nodded, "If it's any consolation. I know the feeling. I am sorry I seemed harsh earlier. This war has been hard on all of us. If it means anything to you, I will have my own medic look your Jedi companion over."

I wondered if that was such a good idea, did Revan have any medical records in the Republic holonet? What about Kara? I paused in thought and slight fear, I didn't mean to lie but if the Republic knew I had the Sith Lord, I was sure it would not go well for her. They would surely not wait for her to recover, brain damaged or not. She would be deemed guilty of war crimes in absentia and be put to death.

I looked contemplative and thought over what I could do to head this off at the pass. Yet, Revan was in sore need of treatment. I pursed my lips together, "Very well Captain. But let me contact the order so I can get Kara's medical records to you so that your medic will know her medical history."

The captain nodded as I went off to my quarters…..

-0o0-

"Encrypt my message to the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine, route the transmission through the Jedi Temple on Courscant. Jedi holonet priority one."

The transmission went through and suddenly Master Vandar as well as Master Vrook appeared before me.

Vrook's brow furrowed, "This better be important, Bastila, we sent you on a mission to confront and capture Revan. Surely your report could wait till you saw us in person. And why are you routing the call through Courscant?"

"I suspect Padawan Bastila has a reason, Master Vrook. I would advise we hear her out first."

"Thank you, Master Vandar. I have had a recent development that has occurred on my mission. And….I must tread carefully. As you know the Republic have their own reasons for wanting Revan that do not correspond with our own."

Vandar nodded, "Yes, and the Republic wish Revan to stand trial and be put to death for war crimes. Execution is not our way. I have spoken to the chancellor regarding this but he remains firm that Revan will face the most extreme punishment that can be had."

Vrook nodded, "And we can't allow that. If Revan is put to death, we will lose whatever knowledge we may gain from….him."

I coughed, "Master Vrook, it doesn't do any good to call Revan, a him. I know as well as I am sure you and Master Vandar do, that Revan is a woman."

Vrook snorted, "Does it make any difference what….that….creature is? He, she….whatever she wishes to be called is a creature of the Dark Side. She came back from the wars wearing that mask, insisting to be called a him and a Sith Lord, and it's just as well. The Revan I knew….she died a long time ago and was reborn as a Sith. Revan had no problem propagating that lie through the Sith ranks. So we took the same steps with her records. Let the Republic and Sith think she was a man. Let the Jedi, the Masters and the Jedi historians have what remains of her beginnings of her past be honored and valued as a Jedi of the light."

I frowned, was Vrook so concerned about the history of the order that he had taken steps to sanitize Revan's past and her overall history? I knew that many Jedi in our order were ashamed about every fallen Jedi, because they represented the worst aspect of us but surely to make Revan into two different people in the history of the Jedi and the Republic. It felt so very wrong to me and I wondered if someday if I was ever in the official history of the order, would my history would be just as distorted?

I sighed and I didn't want to talk about the morality of altering records or official history at the moment so I cut to the heart of the issue, "Hence the problem I am having Master Vrook. I managed to save her. But I…." I paused a moment, "I may not have been completely truthful about it. Since you all have been hiding Revan's past I took advantage of it. Padawan Kara died during the mission and….well….I..." I bowed my head, "Revan took some severe injuries during the mission. Her own apprentice tried to kill her. So….I dressed her in Kara's robes and…."

Vrook's began to pounce on me, "Bastila you did what? That woman is undeserving of wearing our robes and not just any robes but the robes of a dead…."

Vandar held up his hand, "Peace Master Vrook, Bastila only did what was expedient and it was a wise decision she made. The Republic must continue to think Revan is dead. Our only chance to help her and the Republic lay in keeping her alive."

Vrook sighed and held his peace. "How bad are Revan's injuries?"

"She is comatose, Master Vrook. Her mind is all jumbled and damaged. I doubt we will get any useful information from her. Captain Firrian wishes to treat her internal injuries but…." I sighed, "They need the right medical records. I assume you can give me the right medical records under Kara's name."

Vandar nodded, "You will have the medical records you need within an hour, Bastila."

I bowed respectfully before Vandar and Vrook, "Thank you Masters. May the Force be with you…."

"May the Force be with you as well, Padawan Bastila."

The transmission ended and I felt confused, since when did the Jedi traffic with deceptions as so readily as Revan had? The whole thing left my head spinning, but then this was war and even in war, things that would normally be wrong during peacetime ended up being bent in a strange sort of shadow morality.