Title: Barbie Doll
Series: Naruto
Rating: Uh, PG13?
Genres: ANGST.
Warnings: Angsty, swearing, some metaphor about drugs, and..yeah.
Prompt: 'Substitute' and 'Doll'
Substitute.
That's all he was.
A fucking substitute.
Did it not even matter what he did for him? Did he not even care about what he went out of his way to do with him? How he pushed everything else away for him? How he could've spent his time with the people close to him, but chose to be with him? Did it even matter to him at all?! No, no it didn't. It couldn't have. It couldn't have ment anything at all if he was there, moping about his own damn luck over someone who had clearly moved on from him.
He was just a substitute. Someone to pretend with, someone he could use to escape his reality. That's all he was. Just the pretty plastic barbie doll you could take out when you wanted to play with, and discard when you're satisfied. He was just there to smile that same smile and look pretty, whether it be for him or someone else, it was the same. That's all he was good for.
He promised he'd never hurt him. That was such a lie, a lie that saw him to his near destruction. Then he said he'd never hurt him. He'd let himself believe it. He let himself open his heart once more, hoping to any God out there that he was right... The Gods were cruel. It seems it was ment to be that he'd be tossed away for the rest of his life. Picked up and taken in, then discarded after so long when they were tired of him. That's how it had been all his life, why had he been hoping for something different?
He'd actually been trying to move on. To let go of the thorns that still encased his heart. Only to end up with a wider gaping hole than before. He was just a substitute. Just a little pick-me-up hit for when one was jonesing, just enough of a hit to put you back on your feet and survive for a little while longer without the real thing. He should've known better, after all, even the people he'd come to care so much about substituted him as well. They only used him when needed and otherwise cast him aside.
He'd known it must've been too good to be true. But it was the only life he'd ever known, so... Why struggle to change? He wasn't strong enough for that. He was weak; weak enough to let himself be used over and over and continue to plaster that same sweet doll-like smile on his face time after time and go on, even when he could no longer feel anything but the hollowness, when he knew there was nothing left of himself to give.
Deidara stared at his reflection in the mirror, the same plastic smile permanantly glued onto his reflection's face as well. What did it matter if he was broken? That was easily fixable so long as you kept smiling and laughing to hide it.
Such a pretty, plastic broken doll.
After all, he was just a substitute.
Owari.
DHC: This is sort of confusing to explain...It'a about Deidara from an AU rp a friend an I are doing. It's too long to go into details over, but yes... Poor Deidei, he doesn't get a break this time around. ;.;
