A/N – I can't honestly say I expected any nice reviews for this. Do forgive me for referring to Wolfram as "she". It sounded weird when I reread this chapter, but I'm too lazy to make any changes. And to be honest, I did think Wolfram was a tomboyish girl when I first saw this anime. And since I don't really watch or understand anime (and hence may have written really weird stuff) bear with me, and review this.
I want to thank the two people who did bother to review (which is something that must given to even the most horrible of fan fiction). I got two reviews for 155 hits.
To Ashton-Lee.C, thanks for your review, I'll check my old chapter for grammatical errors, and I did read my profile again, and you were right, it does sound a little obnoxious. I don't really hate Harry and Draco as a couple (and I thought they were cute when I thought Draco was going to die after book six), I just hate fan fiction that has nothing more than those two making out (and most of them have that), but I've changed my profile a bit. I do want people to like me.
To princess od doctors, Thank you ! You rule! Wolfram's not fat, and what does 'ganbatte ne' mean?
Look at me going on and on in an author's note no one will ever read. Read the actual story now - .
She wasn't gone for long though, because she ended up in Yuri's bathtub, which was mercifully empty and had very little water. She quickly dried herself with a towel hanging on the door and looked at a clock.
Why would anyone hang a clock in the bathroom? she wondered, but was grateful for it, since it told her that the time was five minutes past three.
She smiled evilly. Yuri must be at baseball practice. I can spy on him there.
She opened the window and jumped out of it. She would've stopped to say hello to her fiancé's mother, but her time limit would not permit it. She had only till midnight.
The street was full of people, all of whom stopped to stare at her. A foreigner wasn't a very common sight in their city. Especially one in a navy blue army uniform.
'Hmph,' said Wolfram, taking out Anissina's invention that helped people understand different languages, and inserting them into her ears.
'Excuse me,' she said to a passing girl with an air of authority, 'where do people practice baseball?'
'On the ground,' said the girl, 'I'm going in that direction too…you speak Japanese?'
'What my fiancé does, I do,' said Wolfram proudly.
'Aren't you a little young for that? You must be what? Fifteen? Sixteen?'
'Eighty-two,' said Wolfram. She might've been eighty-four, but a true woman never reveals her age, and Wolfram wanted to play her part as a woman well.
'Oh, right,' said the girl with raised eyebrows, 'you here to visit your fiancé?'
'You could say that.'
'On the baseball ground?'
'He still acts like a child. What's that on your nails? Yellow and blue?'
'I think it looks nice,' said the girl, 'it matches your hair and weird...um…weird, I mean, different outfit. Are you an army officer? Even though you're a girl?'
'Obviously.'
'Which country?' asked the girl, who was obviously interested.
'I am on a top secret mission,' explained Wolfram, 'and I cannot give myself up.'
This made the girl happy. Apart from nail polish, she had a second love- secret missions.
'What is it about?' she asked excitedly, 'I can help you.'
'I am afraid I must work alone,' said Wolfram importantly.
'No, no,' said the girl, 'I'm very good at secret missions.'.
'I have had years of practice,' bragged Wolfram, 'unlike you. You're a stupid teenager.'
'You look like one yourself,' said the girl angrily.
'I told you, I'm eighty-two.'
'Where are your wrinkles then? Plastic surgery?'
'Yes,' said Wolfram, who had no idea what plastic surgery was.
'That explains a lot,' said the girl, 'but you still walk and talk and act like a kid.'
'I am a child at heart,' said Wolfram, which was, indeed, true.
'I would have been angry at you for your rudeness,' said the girl, 'but I am not. You are a foreigner and a guest. In addition to that, I must show you my brand new nail colour. Do you want to try it?'
Wolfram made a face that cannot be described in words. But I shall try, her eyes were as big as eyes get, her hair stood on its ends, lines appeared out of nowhere and highlighted all the sharp features of her face and made her look rather ugly.
She continued making that face for five minutes and then said, 'okay.'
So a nail painting session started. Soon Wolfram's nails were a very beautiful shade of lilac.
'I do not usually share my nail polish,' said the girl, 'but you are a guest.' She also wanted to be involved in the secret mission, but did not voice her thoughts aloud a second time. The girl paused for a full five minutes and sighed.
'They don't match your clothes,' she said sadly, 'we cannot let your fiancé see you like this.'
Wolfram was forced to agree, even though she had no intention of letting Yuri see her.
'Do you have money? I could take you shopping?' said the girl, 'I mean, you make a salary, right? Being an army officer and all?'
'Yes, yes,' said Wolfram. She had lots of money. The lake had happily converted her currency into Yen.
'Oh goody!' said the girl.
'I can't count it though.'
'I'll do that.'
They shopped for two hours. Wolfram was soon wearing a matching top (matching her nails, that is), and a short denim-skirt. Her stilettos added two more inches to her short figure. She looked absolutely hideous. But the nail-girl thought otherwise.
'You are so cute!' she assured Wolfram, 'I am sure your fiancé will be head over heels for you!'
'I doubt it,' said Wolfram.
'What's your name?' asked the girl. It was a bit late to be asking, but, as they say, better late then never.
'I am on a secret mission,' Wolfram reminded her, 'and cannot leak such important details.'
'But I helped you so much! I shopped with you for two hours.'
Wolfram realized the value of her help. Yuri would have probably recognized the blue uniform with the puffy sleeves and collars. She had to thank her somehow. And what better way than to make her do her (Wolfram's) work?
'Fine,' said Wolfram, 'the target is about to leave the baseball field. It's about seven. Our mission is to spy on him and note his activities. Our time is limited, we have only till midnight. Your codename shall be Sheep208 and mine shall be Wolf901.'
The girl nodded, 'yes ma'am.'
'Now let's get back to the field as quickly as possible,' ordered Wolfram.
The girl started running alongside Wolfram. Wolfram ran fast, even in her brand new clothes and high heeled shoes.
They reached the field in less than five minutes.
'Why...do…we…have…only…till…midnight?' gasped Sheep208. She was completely out of breath and was clutching a stitch.
'There shall be time for explanations later,' said Wolfram, or as we shall refer to her now, Wolf 901.
They watched the field for two minutes.
'We are looking for a double black here,' Wolf 901 said.
'Okay,' said the girl. She had no idea what was meant by the term Wolf901 had just used, but did not say so in fear of being thought stupid.
'Ah,' Wolf901 finally said, 'there he is. Our target. That wimp over there!'
'Where?'
Wolf901 pointed.
'Why would you want to spy on Shibuya, or Yuri, or whatever his name is?' asked Sheep208.
'Explanations later,' repeated Wolf901. She conjured a notebook and a quill out of nowhere and started scribbling furiously, muttering under her breadth, 'Hitting ball with bat, running, falling, crying…'
As she wrote, Yuri's cry of pain could be heard.
'Quick, Sheep208, tell me what he's doing…claims to have hurt self, standing up, now saying it was nothing. Being made to sit down. Looks very sad. Looks aside to me and Sheep208, looks confused, smiles, looks confused, looks away. Looks again, waves. No, no, Sheep208, don't wave back…he'll see we're here.'
'He's already seen us,' said Sheep208, 'that's why he waved. We're staring very obviously, boss, I think he has noticed.'
'Starts coming outside…Quick, Sheep! Hide me!' cried Wolf901.
Sheep208 stood defensively in front of her leader.
Yuri stepped out of the field.
'You came by to say hello?' he said to Sheep208, looking hopeful and turning brick red.
Behind her, Wolf901 continued writing, 'flirting with cute girl. Shall earn sixty slashes with my pointiest sword for this.'
'No, um, yes,' said the girl.
'Who's your friend?' asked Yuri. Sheep208 had been hiding Wolf901 very badly.
'She's a foreigner,' explained Sheep208, 'and is very shy. She has no interest in speaking to you, and neither do I.'
'Then why did you drop by to say "hello"?' said Yuri, the happiness radiating out of his face was quickly disappearing.
'Um, uh, I changed my nail colour,' said Sheep208, 'I wanted to ask you how it looked.'
'Since they are your nails, I'm sure they'll look really pretty,' said Yuri. It was a very stupid line and he knew it. But he had no better ideas.
'AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!' shrieked Wolf901.
Sheep208 turned around to look at her boss, who was very red. Smoke was emerging from her ears, which was only possible because she was both very angry and a cartoon.
'Hello,' said Yuri. And so daft was he, that he did not recognize his own fiancé.
'Hmph,' replied Wolf901.
'Really nice colour,' Yuri told Sheep208, 'but I think I'll go home now.'
'You didn't notice my nails,' growled Wolf901 angrily.
'I didn't know you knew Japanese,' Yuri explained.
'So you thought you'd go drool over someone else's nails?' said Wolf901.
'No, no,' Yuri tried to explain himself, 'I, um, I wasn't drooling. I was giving her a compliment, you know, to be polite.'
Wolf901 wasn't exactly super-intelligent either, and believed wholeheartedly that Yuri recognized her.
'For so many years I have borne your pitiful excuses,' said Wolf901, 'and they kill me each time, for I know each one is a lie.' She then gave a lengthy speech on Yuri's cruel and wimpy nature.
But Yuri wasn't listening; he had started towards home a whole three minutes ago.
After the speech was over, she yelled, 'Why didn't you tell me he had gone? We must follow him!'
And that was what they did. Yuri walked stupidly and pathetically, tripping over the smallest of rocks and bumping against the largest of walls which even a blind man could sense. He bumped into about ten people, out of which nine were girls, out of which four yelled at him with all their hearts, out of which three went to the extent of slapping him really hard across the face. Wolf901 noted all of this in her notebook and kicked each of the girls really hard and reduced them to tears. She would save Yuri's kicking for later.
'What was that for?' asked Sheep208.
'They slapped our target!' shrieked Wolf901, 'and on the left cheek at that!
'Good enough,' said Sheep208, who did not understand the significance of the crime, 'oh, look, he's stopping to buy ice-cream.'
'What's ice-cream?'
'Uh, it's made of ice and cream, and it tastes nice, and it's really cold.'
'Why would he eat something cold, the temperature out here is freezing?' Wolf901 asked, suddenly wishing she was wearing something more than what she was presently wearing, 'he'll get a sore throat and I'll get his stupid germs.' Wolf901 had no idea what germs were, since in the medieval era that she lived in, magic and not medicines were used to cure illness, or sometimes people just died and no one pondered over the reasons. He (since when that had happened, "he" was a boy) had heard about germs from Yuri, and had liked the idea. It was preposterous one, of course, and yet so many humans believed in it. Germs and doctors. How silly!
'He doesn't even have a sore throat yet,' said Sheep208, 'oh, he's eating chocolate flavour, note that down, I'm sure this point may turn out to be important.'
Wolf901 doubted it, but noted the word "chocolate" in her notebook anyway.
'He's talking to the girl who gave him the ice cream,' said Wolf901 shocked, 'and now he's giving her money!'
'That's because he's paying for it,' explained Sheep208, 'it means he's not stealing. Should we note that down?'
'No, no,' said Wolf908, 'I didn't expect him to steal, let's go listen to what they're saying.'
Sheep208 sighed. She could not deny that she liked secret missions, but this was extremely boring. She was spying on a classmate she didn't even like. And on top of that, her codename sucked. They walked towards Yuri.
'Thank you, sir,' the vendor-girl was saying.
'Ah, that's okay,' said Yuri.
'You stop eating that ice cream!' said Wolf901 all of a sudden.
'I thought we were supposed to be undercover!' hissed Sheep208, but neither Yuri nor Wolfram paid her any heed.
Yuri made his characteristic stupid face, then made his characteristic shocked face, and finally yelled at the top of his voice, 'but why? Is it poisoned? Oh no, someone's trying to assassinate me! I have a daughter! Please whoever is trying to kill me, stop! Why? Is this because it's poisoned? Tell me, oh blond girl!'
'No,' replied Wolf901 curtly, 'because it's cold. Yuri, I come from a faraway land, and yet you ignore me and walk away.'
'Where do you come from?' asked Yuri.
'Don't mess around,' said Wolfram, 'and give me your ice cream. Sheep208!'
Sheep208 stepped out of a think bush she could not remember getting into, 'yes, ma'am?'
'Check this for poison,' said Wolf901, who was now worried about poison since her fiancé had mentioned it.
'No!' replied Sheep208 in disgust.
'Fine, I shall do so by myself,' said Wolf901. She then placed her palm over her heart, put her head down, and said in a very dramatic voice (the one that she saved for only very special occasions, 'I shall die in the name of love!'
Yuri shrugged and handed over his ice cream. Wolf901 tasted it, liked it, and had the entire thing under her throat in less than ten seconds.
'Hey!' said Yuri, 'that was my ice cream! You stole it in pretence that it was poisoned for your own personal greed. JUSTICE! Punishment awaits you!'
Wolf901 yawned very widely and obviously.
'I mean, I hope you enjoyed my ice cream, miss,' said Yuri. Wolf901 had very pointy canines and looked like a vampire, or maybe it was just Yuri's imagination.
'It was a pleasure to give you my day's pocket money,' Yuri added, trying not to sound sarcastic. The attempt did not work too well.
'Oh, did I eat all of your money?' asked Wolf901.
Yuri nodded, 'and I was hungry.'
'Fine, I shall buy you TEN ice creams.'
And that was exactly what she did. Though she ate seven of the ice creams herself, leaving two for Yuri, and one for Sheep208 (who was on a diet), she felt rather satisfied of a job well done.
'Thank you,' said Yuri, watching as Wolf901 wolfed down her ice cream hungrily, 'you are very kind. And you have a very good appetite.'
'Hmph,' replied Wolf901.
'May I also add that you are very pretty,' said Yuri.
'I know that,' said Wolf901, 'I get that all the time.' She continued eating her ice cream.
Yuri wanted to say something intelligent. The blond girl probably thought he was an idiot. And she had really nice nails, and really nice clothes, and really nice shoes. They looked like they had cost a lot of money, which was rather unfortunate, since they now had liquid ice cream all over them.
She must be really rich to be ruining such nice clothes, thought Yuri. He also thought she had nice hair, but he thought more of the ruined clothes. It saddened him to look at them.
He thought of many other stupid things. He would have tried to flirt with her if she hadn't the other nail polish girl next to her. It didn't really matter though; he wouldn't have managed to flirt with anyone even if he had tried. He would have probably received another slap across his face, which already was red with pain. He then thought a little more about the clothes. A minute later, he grew terribly worried, and was on the verge of tears. What if they don't get cleaned up, and don't come out of the washing machine all clean, and spotless, and shiny, like they're supposed to? he thought. Though he hated to admit it, there was nothing he loved more than nice, clean clothes. And those clothes were brand new! He could tell they were new because ever since he had become the demon king, he had been gifted with a sixth sense that told him the age of various things, like, for instance, clothes. He could also sense the price tags behind various items too, like, once again, for instance clothes. This sense did him more harm than good.
'Excuse me?' asked Sheep208, 'but is that a tear in your eye?'
Yuri shook his head, 'no.'
'Are you about to cry?'
Yuri shook his head again, but it was all a lie. Wasted money!
Yuri swallowed a lump in his throat and said, 'will that wash away?' he tried to wipe his eyes without the other two noticing. Once again, he looked like nothing more than an idiot in front of pretty girls.
'What?' asked Sheep208, 'The army officer's clothes?'
'This is a secret mission!' hissed Wolf90, though, from her point of view, it didn't really matter. She thought Yuri recognized her. But she didn't want her subordinate to realize the actual unimportance of the "mission".
'Sorry boss,' said Sheep208. She then turned to Yuri, 'obviously it will wash away, its ice cream, not dye. Didn't your mother teach you anything?'
Yuri's mother had taught him a lot of things, but all those things excluded the science of washing clothes. She had always used a washing machine, and knew that Yuri would also use one when he grew up, and then, he would, out of experience, learn what could be washed, and what couldn't be. Ketchup could be washed, but mango stains…dear, oh, dear…
'Oh, so it will be okay?' said Yuri, feeling stupider by the minute.
Sheep208 nodded.
'You mustn't insult his mother!' cried Wolf901, 'his mother is very nice.' Wolf901 spoke these words because she knew exactly what Yuri did to people who insulted his mother; he proposed marriage to them. She also rather liked Yuri's mother. She made really yummy food.
Sheep208 said, 'I did not insult his mother.'
'You said she didn't teach him anything,' said Wolf901 angrily, 'apologize!'
'I am not going to apologize,' protested Sheep208, 'I didn't do anything.'
'You don't need to,' said Yuri, 'its okay.'
'FLIRT!' shrieked Wolf901, 'I have borne this all, behind my back for so long, but now, right in front of me, you say its okay for another girl to insult your mother, and you SMILE at her! This is an unforgivable act. If you refuse to do so, I shall beat her up for you.'
'No, no,' said Yuri, 'I can't beat up a girl, but if you really want to…I suppose I can't stop you.'
'Can't beat up a girl, can you?' laughed Wolf901.
Yuri shook his head.
'That's because you'll lose, and you know it, you pathetic wimp.'
Yuri wondered why those words sounded familiar. He thought for a whole five minutes, and then decided that it was simply his imagination that made these words sound like he had heard them before. Though he was gifted with various kinds of sixth senses, he was not gifted with very basic things, like for instance, intelligence, common sense, and the ability to add two fractional numbers together (this explained his marks in Math).
'Wimp, I may be,' said Yuri, 'but I shall not lose to a girl, because I shall not fight her, because beating up girls is very very wrong. It goes against my principle of extreme justice.'
'Well, I'll be keeping an eye on you,' said Wolf901 angrily.
'What?' said Yuri. He did not ponder too much on why the weird foreigner was going to be keeping an eye on him. He assumed it was because weird things happened only to him, for reasons he could not comprehend, because it was against the will of the one who decides what happens to whom.
He hung his head in a very defeated way and headed towards home.
A/N – Please review. For the sake of humanity. It won't take more than a minute. Even if it is to tell me you hated this, review! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! I know my chapter sort of sucked, but that doesn't mean you forget to be nice.
