So from some of the comments I received, I realize that some of you are upset about the tryst that Nick and Andy had during their six months of undercover. As I wrote in the first chapter, neither one of them wants to dwell on it, and it was one time. It does not make it right at all, especially since Nick is in a relationship with Gail, but on Andy's part, she and Sam were broken up. As a fan of McSwarek, there will soon be some Sam and Andy interaction, but I wanted to take this chapter to address some of your concerns. As always, thank you for your input!


Andy felt Chris shaking her awake and she flung herself up, swiping a hand over her mouth to check for drool. Chris' big chocolate brown eyes looked at her, amused.

"Your stop, m'lady," Dov piped up from the driver's seat, with a horrible accent. Andy realized that they were indeed pulled to a stop in front of her apartment building.

It was still dark outside and with all the lights from the city, Andy could no longer see the stars, even though she kept craning her neck out the window.

Stifling a yawn, Andy said, "Thanks guys." Although, most of them were sleeping, Andy really had had a great day out with her friends.

Andy shrugged her way out from under Chris' arm and elbowed Gail none-too-gently in the rib cage to wake her up. Gail moaned in protest. "You sleeping on the couch tonight?" Andy questioned, her mouth thick with sleep.

Without surprise, Gail answered in the negative and proceeded to fall back asleep. She had been staying at Nick's house more often. Andy assumed that in no time, they would be living together.

Andy hopped out of the truck, climbing over Chris and nearly elbowing him in the nose. She offered a quick apology and a smile as she went around to the bed of the truck to grab the bag she had brought.

She stepped back on the curb to let Dov know she was all set and she stood waving as he pulled away to drop off his other passengers.

A rush of cold air hit Andy and she suddenly didn't feel as tired anymore. She let herself into her building and trudged up the stairs.

Her skin felt grimy and all she wanted was a shower. And now that she was fully conscious, her mind was flooded with things she didn't want to think about tonight. Digging through her bag, Andy eventually found her keys and after fumbling with the lock for a few moments, she let herself into her empty apartment.

After being with her friends all day, dealing with their rambunctiousness, she had never felt more alone. And it was then that she realized she didn't want to be anymore.

Sullenly, she dropped her bag by the door and flipped on some lights, making her way towards the bathroom. She turned on the shower and stripped her clothes off, discarding them in the hamper by the sink.

While she waited for her crappy water heater to kick in, Andy peered at herself through the mirror. It was still the same Andy, but there were some subtle differences that she had noticed recently. Her eyes were dull, like they had lost their light; she had been more subdued lately. The corners of her mouth were more often tilted down rather than creasing her face in a ready smile. Her hair had grown out and it was wilder, more unruly.

Shaking her head, she leaned away from the mirror and stepped into the now steaming shower. The water was so hot it scalded her skin and she hurriedly reached over and turned the knob for some cooler water.

She lathered her hair with first shampoo, followed by conditioner. She covered her body in soap, trying to remove the sand that seemed embedded in her skin.

Andy didn't feel much like singing in the shower like she usually did (very much off key) so of course her brain started to tune back into the thoughts she was trying to avoid.

Andy knew the causes of the subtle changes in herself. Two words. Sam Swarek. She couldn't be with him, couldn't be without him. Only now, it seemed that Sam had completely moved on.

And why shouldn't he have? He had every right. Sam had finally professed his love to her and instead of trying to make things work with him, she ran away from her problems, just as she always had and just like she probably always would. Now, she felt even guiltier because of her little romp with Nick months ago. She apparently hadn't been willing to wait for him and it was obvious he didn't wait around, pining for her. In the back of her mind, she had a feeling he wouldn't wait, but there was always that little pinprick of hope that when she returned, they could be together again.

She still didn't have a good reason for sleeping with Nick and it was obvious that he regretted it. Both of them were unattached at the time; she and Sam had broken up, Nick thought Gail was heading to Europe. Not that it made it right, but she didn't exactly regret it. They were both in a bad place; it had been a particularly taxing day and they both were tired of dealing with druggies and seeing the amount of death that they did. They had needed someone and they were there for each other. That was where it ended. Nick was a good guy, but he was a better friend and he and Gail belonged together.

But she still couldn't get Sam out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. And try she did. Why couldn't she be friends with him like she did with Nick or Chris and Dov? Why did things have to be so much different with Sam?

The easiest answer that she could think of was the fact that she still loved him. But she had put her heart out there one time and there was no way that she was going to do that again. Not that he wanted it; he wanted Marlo because she didn't bring to the table all the complications that Andy did.

Even still, she couldn't get the words he said to her while she held that bomb in her hand, out of her head.

I love you, Andy.

But it had been too late. He had already broken her heart, left her standing, crying in the rain. She had spent so long trying to get over him and then all of a sudden, he wanted her back. It had pissed her off, but at the same time…she wanted to go crawling back to him despite all her "Breakup Buddy Rules." She wanted to kiss him and fall asleep next to him at night.

Instead, she had taken the UC job and she would never know if it was the right choice, but right now her heart was severely protesting.

Overcome by emotion, she slid down until she was sitting, knees curled up to her chest as the water pelted her from the showerhead above. Her shoulders rocked with sobs that she had been holding in. She felt unhinged; she never let anyone get under her skin so bad. In general, she didn't usually let people get as close as Sam did because she always wound up hurt.

She slid back so that her back was pressed against the smooth tile on the wall, the only thing that was keeping her from collapsing into a puddle and slipping down the drain.

Memories flashed in her head.

The good ones started first. Tackling Sam her first day on the job and later finding out that he was an undercover cop as opposed to a junkie. Running to his house during the blackout and almost sleeping with him. Sleeping with him when they were both undercover. Waking up next to him when they decided to give a relationship a try. Giddily proclaiming she was in love with him, the awed look on his face.

The bad ones were close behind. Sam practically blaming her 'instincts' for getting Jerry killed. Leaving her after he broke up with her. Asking for his keys to his truck back. Kissing Marlo.

Andy laid her forehead on her knees. Water flooded her nose, eyes and mouth. She wanted to scream. It was all so frustrating.

Finally, she lifted her head gasping, gasping for breath. And just like that, it was a little easier to think.

She pulled herself to her feet, turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. She pulled a fluffy black towel around her body, wrapping it tight and shaking the water from her hair so that it stuck up at odd angles.

Her resolve was still there. What she had decided at the beach- that she would get over Sam- still held true. Andy knew when she was beat and she also knew that she had spent too long trying to get her relationship with Sam to work. She knew when to quit.

She eyed herself in the mirror. She know had a hardened look but she looked more confident. She could do this. It wouldn't be easy, but she could do this. She would just have to focus on work, throw herself into the demanding job. But, she decided, she would lay off the UC work for a little while.

Andy toweled herself off and tossed the towel in the hamper as she walked into her bedroom.

She looked at the clock, resting precariously on the edge of her nightstand. It was close to one in the morning.

Suddenly, the fatigue from the day out in the sun was back and she collapsed on her bed, naked. Pulling the covers over her, she hoped for a good shift at 15 tomorrow.


So, I hope that pacified some of you in regards to the Nick/Andy topic. But a shift at 15 Division promises some Sam and Andy interaction. Can someone say awkward…? Reviews are welcome. I'll get the next chapter up soon!