Kuro: 2nd lot up! More members of the BO make an appearance. This fic is sort of AU-ish, and now it starts delving deeper into Yullen territory... Next update will be a week later.
Kanda: Finally, some action.
Kuro: Yes, yes. Now shut up.
Disclaimer: Hoshino-sensei owns everything DGM. If I owned it, Kanda and Allen would be an item by now.
Things Members of The BO Are No Longer Allowed To Do 2
31. Lavi, kindly stop referring to General Yeegar's Innocence as his "balls".
32. …What is it with you and perverted jokes anyway? Hang on, don't reply to that. We don't want to know.
33. "You didn't specify which Lavi" is not a good excuse. There's only one Lavi in here anyway.
34. Komui, GET BACK TO WORK.
35. Telling Link chess was for sissies wasn't the best of ideas, Kanda. Even Lavi knows that much.
36. General Cross Marian is not allowed anywhere near the hardware storeroom again. Now put those hammers back, General.
37. General Cross Marian is expressly forbidden from chucking hammers at Allen Walker "just for the fun of it" because he broke your last bottle of Romanee Conti.
38. General Nyne is expressly forbidden from using her whip on General Cross. It just gives him ideas we do NOT need to know about.
39. General Cross Marian is expressly forbidden from stating any perverted fantasies of General Klaud Nyne out loud in public. Have you ever heard of too much information, General?
40. The same goes for any fantasies involving any other female member of the Black Order! You were just lucky the Finders restrained Komui and Marie in time.
41. Whichever one of you thought it funny to send in porn-filled mission reports, it is not. Do you know how hard it is to get work done in here now?
42. We don't care if the Grand Generals want more!
43. No, sex tapes are not allowed as well. At least now we know who's behind this…
44. General Cross Marian and Lavi, Bookman Jr., are hereby GROUNDED until further notice.
45. …Kanda, why is the Millennium Earl asking for his "Book of Scary and Threatening, Nightmare-Inducing Threats and Faces" back?
46. Alright, how did General Cross get out of that room?
47. General Sokaro is banned from giving the new Finder recruits "Physical Education lessons".
48. None of them have left their beds since yesterday, that's why!
49. "Because they were a bunch of pansies, sissies and wimps" is NOT an acceptable answer.
50. Whoever thought it funny to sing "I Ain't Got No Body" around Allen Walker when he's in 14th mode, you're paying for the damage he did to the Black Order chasing after you.
51. His eyes were golden, that's how we know!
52. Neah Walker would like all of you to know that he has got a body. It just happens to belong to someone else as well.
53. One General Cross is more than enough. Stop trying to emulate him, Lavi.
54. While, we all agree that Kanda is much too grouchy for his own good and needs some form of stress relief, locking him in a titanium-reinforced steel cleaner's closet with Allen was NOT the way to do it.
55. Even if it worked.
56. The hell? It worked?
57. No, it still wasn't a good idea, not even if Lenalee and Jerry gave you the idea that Kanda's disposition would improve greatly if he laid someone.
58. It's your fault Allen is crying and destroying our offices because he thought it was a one-night stand. You three stop him.
59. Where the hell is Kanda when you need him?
60. Lavi, may we ask why General Cross is in Komui's office demanding you blood?
61. And Jerry's?
62. And Lenalee's first time? Wait, what?
63. Mr Neah Walker, we would much appreciate it if you would go back to sleeping in your nephew's head instead of backing General Cross up...
64. Komui, put the Komurin remote down. General Cross, put Judgment down. Allen/ Neah/ Black Allen/ whichever you are, put both of them down.
65. DAMMIT, YOU LOT! FIX OUR OFFICES! The money's coming out of your pay- Was that Kanda? Somebody nab him!
General Cross: Where's Tiedoll when you need him? I need to talk to him about that horny bastard-boy of his!
Kuro: Now, be patient! You'll get your chance... next week.
General Cross: The hell?
Kanda: Not if I can help it. Che. Annoying old man.
Kuro: NO, GENERAL! Don't murder him yet! Put that hammer down!
