A/N: I am extremely sorry for not updating for so long, i was in middle of shifting from my home to another place far away. Now that i am kind of settled, i will see to it that i update every week. once again i am extremely sorry and please give this story a chance.
disclaimer: once again i do not own any of these characters and do not make any money out of it.
AT ZIVA'S APARTMENT
All throughout the ride tony kept a close eye on Ziva, who had her head resting against the glass of the car window, her eyes gazing intently on the scenery flashing outside.
Once they reached her apartment Ziva shook out of her reverie and climbed off the car hastily without making any eye contact with tony.
On the hallway she fumbled inside her side bag searching for her key to the apartment for few minutes she vainly tried to jam the key inside the lock before tony placed a hand over her trembling ones and helped her unlock her front door, he pushed the door open and holding her hand, gently pulled her into the apartment along with him.
Tony was utterly scared for his usually strong ninja partner, he felt as if she had given up on everything, as if she had Wholeheartedly accepted her defeat to a battle she had been fighting for so long. But he had no clue as to what is that really bothered her.
'ziva' he called out softly trying to snap her out of the dreamland she had wandered off to.
He placed his hand on her right cheek to get any reaction out of her. Ziva turned her head into his palm and looked straight into his eyes.
Tony was stunned by what he saw in those beautiful doe eyes of her 'defeat' and 'helplessness'The two things he never dreamed of seeing in his partners eyes .
Her face now looked like that of a battered woman, one that has been through so much in life, that every breath she takes is another struggle.
The brown orbs were sheathed with a thin sheen of tears that threatened to fall over and make her lose her sanity.
The quivering of her bottom lips was the only sign he got before she fell into his arms sobbing openly, her small frame wracking violently against his muscular one.
He was rendered incapable by her sudden outburst that all he could do was hold her close one hand held her head close to his heart as the other went around her waist to support her against his body so that she didn't fall down.
'Shh Ziva, it's alright' he said, vainly trying to console her without knowing a thing about her distress.
He held her tightly and went over to her couch. He sank onto it and tried to lift her face off his shirt.
It broke his heart to see her face all red and blotchy, with tear tracks running down her cheeks.
He wiped them off with his palms and resting them on her cheeks looked deep into her bloodshot eyes.
"Ziva do you want some water" he asked
She was expecting to hear something else and this unexpected question surprised her and she nodded her head slightly.
Tony got off the couch and went to the kitchen to fetch some water for his friend.
On his return Ziva started sipping her water, her eyes refusing to look anywhere near where he was sitting.
"can I do anything that can….." he was cut short by her turning her head sharply and anger flaring through her eyes like a raging fire, where a moment ago there was a lament of defeat now resided a raging inferno.
"stop pretending tony?" she screamed
"why don't you just ask it instead of holding back" she said now fresh tears running down her face.
Tony looked genuinely hurt by what she just said but he still placed his hand upon her shoulders and said " because Ziva, we both know that no matter how hard I try I can't force you to open up. I can see you don't want to talk about it and that is fine , but when you are ready, you know I will always be here to listen to you."
"I can't afford to lose you again in the name of some stupid fight that it can lead to, I don't think I have it in me to go through that again and come out alive Ziva."
Ziva was left speechless after such an honest declaration from him that she hid her face with her palm and started crying again.
Tony encased her within his loving embrace and caressed her back in an attempt to soothe her .
She held on tightly to his jacket front while mumbling "I am sorry, I am so sorry tony."
"hey it's alright, please don't cry" he whispered into her hair leaving a small kiss on top of her head before once again pulling her face off his chest and looking at her. He cupped her cheek making her look at him
"like I said, whenever you are ready"
He smiled softly at her before he attempted to get up and give her some space. Ziva clutched his wrist and shook her head "I don't want to hide it anymore, give me some time to collect myself and then come to my room" she said.
He nodded and left her to her thoughts.
A/N: please read and review. pretty please :)
