Love comes to each of us in different ways. When I moved to Smallville, my heart was untouched. Though that would certainly change, much to my pain and sorrow.
Clark told me he had been in love with Lana since they were children.
Lana seemed to be infatuated with whatever man was currently paying her the most attention at the time.
For Chloe, it was Clark. I don't know when it started for her, but the moment I saw them together it was obvious. It was also clear he had no idea.
"I really messed up," Clark told me over the phone.
"What's wrong, Clark? What did you do?"
"I told Chloe that I would sign us up for a journalism conference in Metropolis on Saturday, but I got distracted, and -"
"And by distracted, you mean 'was busy with Lana' right?"
"Ummmm...yeah."
"So now you need tickets if you expect to ever get out of the doghouse with Chloe."
"Yeah..."
I smiled. This was easy. "I'll make a call and see if I can get you some tickets."
"Thanks, Lex."
"No problem, Clark." He didn't hang up and I got the impression something else was eating at him. "What else is on your mind, Clark?"
"Do you think I've been ignoring everyone else in favor of you and Lana?"
I blinked. That wasn't a question I expected. "I'm not sure, Clark. Why do you ask?"
"Chloe said something..."
"Ah, ok. Well, I guess you are the only one that can say for sure. How much time have you made for your other friends?"
"Well, I..."
"Clark, take it from someone that has a very short list of people they can really call friend. Make the time for the important people in your life."
I heard a heavy sigh on the phone. Then, "Thanks, Lex. I've got to get to class."
"No problem, Clark."
After the boy hung up, I just shook my head. I still don't know how he could be so blind. It seemed obvious that Chloe was annoyed at Clark for more than just going MIA on her, but until one or the other of them were willing to speak up, I would let that dog lie.
Though it didn't take long.
I stopped by the Kent farm and sought out Clark in his loft while I was there. "What are you reading? 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus'?"
"I'm trying to get an insight into the female psyche."
I smiled and brandished the book. "I seriously doubt you'll find it in here. What's the problem?"
"I've got these two amazing friends who both happen to be girls."
Ah, so he finally saw what had been so obvious about Chloe. "For argument's sake, let's call them Lana and Chloe."
"I've always liked Lana, but I can never get near her. I just found out that Chloe likes me and I think I may have feelings for her too."
A true embarrassment of riches. I was happy for him, but also frustrated by his inaction. It's so strange that I recall hoping he would choose Chloe and not the elusive Lana. I really saw her as the better fit for my friend.
I was right about that, much to my own later pain.
Though at the time all I said was..."So which one do you want to pursue?"
"That's the thing, I want to protect my friendship with both."
I let some of my annoyance show. How could he be so blind? "Then you'll never get either one."
He clearly didn't appreciate my advice. "Thanks. I think I'll stick with the book."
"Clark, love isn't about playing it safe. It's about risks. Unless you're willing to put yourself out there, you'll never know."
"Have you ever been in love before?"
"I've only loved two women in my life. One died and the other betrayed me."
I know Clark thought I meant romantic love, but that wasn't the reply I gave. At that point, my deepest heart was still my own. The women I was talking about were my mother and my old nurse, Pamela.
It's interesting that the two women that were causing Clark so much confusion at the time would both end up doing their own damage to my heart. One trying to tear it out and the other succeeding.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Some people are meant to be alone," I replied.
Maybe I should have taken my own advice.
I understand what Clark saw in Lana. She was undeniably beautiful, kind, and had a sort of purity. I remember pushing him time and again to pursue her, but he never did. He insisted on waiting, taking the high road road over and over again, which just seemed to push the two of them apart.
Not like me.
I never hesitated when I was provided an opportunity. In my case, most of those opportunities I found in Smallville were for the undervalued Luthorcorp #3 and later Lexcorp. I was desperate to build a life outside of my father's power and used any means given to me. Including some not particularly safe or ethical work with meteor rock and its applications. Later, some of those works would come back to strike at me, but at the time they provided some very exciting results. Many of those shady projects kept the company afloat when everyone, my father included, were trying to bring it down. Ethics were not my highest priority at the time. Or any time really. That trait gave me a unique advantage in a difficult position. I felt no shame in using an unconventional source to uncover new areas of potential research - Chloe Sullivan.
Clark often told me about the investigations and and hunches Chloe had for her "Wall of Weird." Most also went on to be published in her newspaper - The Torch. I owe Chloe quite a bit from those early days. Her in-depth research into "meteor freaks," along with the various incarnations, and myriad (often illegal but profitable) usages of meteor rock was fascinating. Projects looking into using meteor rock to project fear, walk through walls, even invisibility. What she published often became the groundwork for additional research in my own labs.
Not that she knew about that.
I am not sure why, maybe it is just a hunch of my own, but I also have the feeling that Chloe Sullivan was somehow involved in more than one of my close-calls. Maybe it is just because whenever something out of the norm went on in Smallville, she was never far away. She was like Clark that way. Unlike Clark, she wanted to know the why's of the events and not just be there to save the day. She wanted the whole story. She always was a true reporter at heart, seeking the truth and bringing it to light. I just happened to benefit as a side-effect.
It is a such strange sensation now - to owe thanks to her, considering all that happened between us.
But back in those early days, it should come as no surprise that when I wanted the best possible girl for Clark, I wanted Chloe for my friend. Not Lana.
Turns out Clark did finally give Chloe a chance after saving her from being buried alive. He asked her to Spring Formal. Then he left her at the dance, and afterwards they decided to put their friendship above all else. I never did understand what caused them to do that. Then Clark returned to his pining for Lana. And Chloe continued to pine over Clark.
Idiots.
Maybe if they had both followed their hearts then, I never would have risked my own.
And lost.
Though love of a sort was about to find me anyway in the form of Desiree Atkins.
A one-week courtship and some meteor-rock powered pheromones and I found myself married.
Though the punchline of the event might be the guestlist for the wedding, which included Clark, Lana, and...yes, Chloe.
Then my "wife" tried to kill me.
Well, Desiree did like to picture herself as a trendsetter.
Helen.
Beautiful, driven, smart. I was instantly attracted, despite the thorns she had out when we first met.
Our courtship was the most traditional of all my wives and dalliances. Maybe that should have been a warning in itself.
Nothing with Chloe was ever traditional, but it was still the closest I've ever come to true joy.
Then, Chloe was still so young, just sixteen, but I remember the first time I really saw the woman Chloe would become. The woman that would always meet me as an equal and drive me mad with desire.
Not surprisingly, it was when she was being difficult.
Clark had come down to the caves just after I hired Dr. Frederick Walden to translate the paintings on the cave walls. After the doctor threw a tantrum, I agreed to let him have his way and kick out all visitors.
I didn't even notice Chloe until the doctor shouted at her. She had climbed up onto a ledge in the cave and was looking down at us like some sort of wild deity. After Clark called her, she descended with surprising grace and an even more surprising smile.
"What are you smiling at? I want those photographs," Doctor Walden challenged her snippily. He then attempted to take her camera.
Bad idea.
Meeting his shocked look challengingly, Chloe told him bluntly, "You're the cunning linguist. Why don't you translate this?" She paused to give each word proper emphasis. "Kiss... my... ass."
She snapped the camera from Walden's grasp and strode away as I tried hard to fight back a smile. The doctor was a prick, and I admit I liked seeing him put down so firmly.
I liked it less when she turned that attitude on me.
I stopped by the Kent's barn to see Chloe in Clark's arms.
"My own personal superhero. I always knew there was something special about you, Clark Kent," she was saying to him.
I thought I should announce my presence before things between them got...heated. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"You are," Clark said with obvious annoyance, putting Chloe down. It was then that I saw she had done an interesting sort of dark striping to her hair and her clothes were unusually short and tight. A part of me that had no business thinking reacted to the look.
After some confusing banter, Chloe and Pete agreed to let me have a quiet word with Clark. But not before Chloe turned her newly cruel wit on me. "You know, I always wondered." She marched up to me in a way I had never seen from her before. She looked me up and down in a very clearly assessing way. "For a boy who has all the money in the world, you'd think he could afford a good toupee."
I'm not proud of it, but that frank and surprising assessment was...hot. And wrong. And hot.
Then she was gone and I was left feeling dirty for where my mind and body had gone in those few brief moments.
Those uncomfortable feelings around Chloe lingered far past when they should have faded. They didn't go so far as to interfere with my relationship with Helen. Though maybe if they had, I would have been spared another failed marriage. As it was, I didn't suggest to Helen that Chloe receive an invite to our wedding. It was never brought up as an issue though, since this was a much more formal and planned affair than my shotgun to Desiree. This wedding was to be a full upper-crust event. Much of the day is a blur of polite smiles and forgettable music, but Helen looked radiant. I spent a great deal of time amusing myself with all the ways I would make love to my new wife when we reached our secluded honeymoon spot.
That was our last happy day.
Like all good things in my life, my joy turned to ashes. For the second time, my newly minted wife tried to kill me.
This time, by arranging a plane crash.
Helen's plan failed, and I found myself stranded on an island, unsure of exactly what had happened to bring me there.
I really am the worst judge of love.
