Author's Note: I'm working on finishing the next chapter of What if you had to die... but these were sitting on my livejournal and needed to be posted here. Again, this is a pallet-clearing crack fic, so don't expect much out of it. Just something to have fun with because my friends dare me to.

There is a point when, after consuming enough alcohol, even the most intelligent of people (or extra-dimensional disembodied floating semi-transparent heads) will make stupid decisions. Stories are told of Prince Paris of Greece, who, after a few too many ouzos, declared Helen of Troy to be "smoking hot" and "in desperate need of a shag." Whispers in back alleyways tell of the foolishness of Helmut Hitler, who told his little brother Adolf (over several beers) that he "Really needed to put those silly paints away and make something of himself." Those with stout hearts and no fear of death will even stop and ponder on the mysteries of the Great Ramses the Second, who said "Oh come on, what's the worst they can do? Its not like those silly Hebrews can call down the wrath of the gods on us, right? Pass the wine"

In the grand scheme of things, though, none can compare with the indelible stupidity of Zordon of Eltar, who got sufficiently drunk to decide to not only go back to earth, and those thrice damned zombies, but also to create five new power coins to send to another set of teenagers, who, he was sure, could stop the Zombie!Rangers before they became an issue.

Historians would later wonder if he really was drunk, or just had it in for the human race.

It began late one Friday Night, scant two weeks from the day when Zordon swore he was leaving earth and never returning. 5 Bottles of Eltarian firewine convinced him, though, that he could do it. He would create new powers, using the Zeo Crystal that he suddenly remembered was at full power and hiding under the command center and not in five separate pieces as he had thought for some strange reason. Then he would summon five new teenagers, who would have been made rangers at some point in the future anyway! He'd give them the much more powerful ZeoRanger powers, and they could eliminate their Zombie-fied predecessors!

Oh yeah, he was the man! Well... metaphorically. Not physiologically… anymore… stupid Rita.

Mmm…. Firewine….

Right! Zeo Crystal! He just needed to push some power into the morphing grid, and have that obnoxious robot find some teenagers. Did he have Zords for them? Eh, it would be alright.

The next morning, a much greener Zordon appeared in the command Center.

"Alpha, I have been monitoring the situation in Angel Grove and I am concerned at the actions of the Rangers."

"Actually… they haven't been doing much, Zordon. They seem to still be full from all of Zedd and Rita's minions."

There was that stupid nausea again. "Yes… thank you Alpha. Never bring that up again. Now I want you to summon five teenagers. And some aspirin. I have a headache."

"Right away Zordon!"

"Not so loud."

"Sorry."

From various places in angel grove, five teenagers disappeared in a swirling mass of color. Rocky, Adam, and Aisha vanished from their "ninja" training, Katherine from a restaurant, and a young boy named Justin from a local racetrack.

"Welcome, my young friends…." Zordon paused, and regarded Justin with a curious expression.

"He's the only blue ranger candidate left on the planet." Alpha supplied helpfully.

"Oh. Of course. Well, welcome, my young friends, you have been chosen as Power Rangers, to combat the forces of evil, from anywhere they may appear… but first you needtaklthothrrngrs" Zordon trailed off into nonsensical mumbling.

"What was that?" Adam asked.

"You… well, see the thing is, in that horrible disaster that the city has already inexplicably recovered from, the first team of rangers were killed."

"So we're here to take their place in their memory" Rocky stated.

"Not exactly." Alpha said. "They were turned into Zombies and we need you to destroy them."

"Uh… you wanna run that by us again," Justin responded incredulously.

"The other rangers are now Zombies, blue ranger."

"My name's Justin."

"It's best I not know that." Zordon replied sagely. "I don't want to get too attached."

"What?"

"Nothing. Go get them!" He nodded to alpha, who pressed a button, who sent them to the Angel Grove. A few adjustments to teleporter ensured that they arrived already morphed, just in case.

Not that it really mattered in the long run.

A moment should be taken to examine the Zombie!Rangers. Not their physiology, because, well, eww… but their mental processes. As of that morning, they mostly possessed a human outlook on the world, knowing that Zedd and his monsters were evil, and also were quite tasty when served on crackers. Humans, on the other hand, screamed and ran when they caught site of the Zombie!Rangers, didn't really bother them, and since their drive to create new Zombies hadn't kicked in yet, were pretty much useless. Zombie!Kimberly suspected that they might be fairly tasty, but didn't know for sure, and didn't want to get fat if she was wrong.

So when the five new Zeo Rangers arrived, the Zombies were attracted to the bright colors, and wanted to go and say hello. Maybe even offer them a snack.

Unfortunatly, their lumbering steps, outstretched arms, and moans of "Braiiinnnssss…" were misinterpreted.

"Stop foul creatures!" Katherine said, "We are the Power Rangers! Warriors of truth and…"

"Kat, seriously, this isn't an anime. Just attack!" Rocky said, cutting her off.

"Right. Sorry."

Meanwhile, back at the command center…

"Alpha… what are those?"

"The pile of weapons on the floor? Oh, those are the Rangers new arsenal. Guaranteed to be the ONLY thing that could successfully attack and kill a Zombie-fied power ranger."

"Very nice."

"Why thank you Zordon. I spent a good deal of time making them. I even tuned them to the bio-signs of the Zeo Rangers, so they could never be used by the forces of evil against us."

"Alpha, I'm impressed. That's a very nice bit of work, and shows a good deal of forethought. How do they summon them?"

"Summon…. Them?"

"Yes. How will they get to the Zeo Rangers so that they can do battle with the Zombies."

"Uh… well.."

"You forgot that part didn't you?"

"Ayeyiyiyi…."
Zordon sighed. "Turn the viewing globe off, Alpha. I don't really want to watch this."

Back to (the) Action!

Zombie!Kimberly took a viscious right-hook from Katherine, which stirred some strange feeling of hostility in the Zombie's mind. As the others engaged in combat, Zombie!Kimberly forced Katherine to the ground, then lowered her mouth to the girls neck.

Sorry boys, but fanservice was not on her mind.

She took a huge bloody bite from Katherine's neck, and suddenly 2 biological urges were being sated.

The urge to consume flesh, and the urge to procreate.

The first thing she taught Zombie!Katherine was how to do the same to poor obnoxious Justin.

Then the others.

The battle descended into groans and shuffling Zombie feet quickly, and as one, the Zombie!Rangers and the newly created ZeoZombie!Rangers turned towards the sleepy town of angel grove.

"Braaaiiiinnnssss…."

In the command center, Zordon and Alpha regarded each other sadly for a long moment.

"Alpha… if anyone ever asks how the Zombie Apocalypse started, we blame the American Military. Do you understand?"

"Yes Zordon."

"Good. Now I'm getting back to my drinking. Wake me up when the Zombies are gone. Or they over-run the command center thinking that they can get to my brain even though I exist outside of this universe, so instead they dismantle you out of spite. You know, whichever comes first." With that, he vanished, leaving a suddenly very nervous automaton staring warily at the door.

"Ayeyiyi…"