Pirates of the...
by Your Undoing
Author's Note: It's Harry Potter this time. Come on, you know you saw it coming. I had too much fun with Hermione's eyebrows... but the way Emma Watson does it in the movies, seriously... who didn'tfind that highly amusing?
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Chapter 2: Harry Potter

Blurred forms whizzed through the air at remarkable speeds as rain pounded on the heads of the spectators. They watched from atop several extremely tall platforms, in an attempt to view the match at what was more or less eye level. It had apparently never occurred to the builder that Quidditch was in fact played at extremely varied levels. A small black blot in the sky may have been a player on his or her broom (or just a particularly unhappy rain cloud) as easily as that splotch on the ground may have been his fallen teammate (or a puddle as a result of said rain cloud).

Amid the sound of wild cheering and pounding rain, one particular voice rose above the ruckus.

"GOOOOOO HARRYYYYY!"

The words were high pitched to a point of painful fascination, and the girl from whom the sounds had issued was hopping up and down in what appeared to be some sort of plastic bag (erm, rain poncho). Her remarkably frizzy hair would have looked rather like cotton candy had it not been dark brown (well, who knows… it could've been coca cola flavored).

"Oh shut up," snapped a young woman standing to the girl's right. She was wearing an old-fashioned looking hat and some sort of odd frilly dress.

"Excuse me? Where did you come from?" the girl said in a notably lower speaking voice. She raised an eyebrow.

"Trifles," said a man standing to the young woman's left. At first, it appeared that he had black-and-white striped skin. Upon closer inspection, he actually had eyeliner dripping down his face.

"Trifles? Trifles? You don't even go to this school!" The girl's voice was rising octaves with alarming quickness. She raised and lowered her eyebrows several times before settling with her left eyebrow raised and her right one at a slightly downward angle.

"And um, what school would this be?" inquired the young woman.

"Hogwarts," the girl replied with disdain. Her eyebrows wiggled as she pronounced each syllable.

At this, Jack Sparrow promptly sagged against the railing and dropped the bottle he'd been clutching in his hand over the edge, sending it on it's first and only skydiving trip. Perhaps this resulted as a combination of his hysterical laughter, and the ever-present factor of his complete and utter drunken-ness.

"HOG WARTS! That's bloody brilliant, that is." He smiled, displaying some remarkable work by the makeup department. I mean, fake teeth.

"Where did you get that bottle, Jack?"

"Firewhiskey, love," he slurred. With that, he raised his hand to his mouth. Upon seeing that it was empty, he turned and leaned over the railing.

"Oh… bugger"