Author's Note: I sorta forgot that I had this sitting around, so you can read it if you want while I debate the fact that I have five running stories, the muse is slowly draining for all of them, and Pitch Perfect is taking over my life for no reason (and it'll probably be not taking over my life in like a week because I'm ADD).
Rating: This'll be a solid T rating for action sequences and language.
Disclaimer: All rights to the PJO and HoH universe go to the man, the myth, and the legend, Rick Riordan himself. I take claim to my OCs.
Editing: All editing is done by me, all mistakes are mine.
Chapter One
"Mitchell, I swear, if I am late for my own wedding because of you…!"
My dad's voice cut through the silence as he yelled up the stairs. I was trying to no avail to fix my tie. It was not going well. In a huff, I left my tie hanging loosely around my neck, my top button to my white button-up. I looked like a freakin' frat boy.
I was in a white shirt and white pants with an electric blue vest and tie. My dad bought me a pair of black leather old man shoes. My hair was sticking up all over the place. I'd gotten it cut last night, but it dried wet after my shower and…well. It really wasn't working for me.
With an irritated groan, I dropped my comb in the sink, completely giving up on my hair. Forget it. We had twenty minutes to get to the chapel in New York City traffic. In other words, we were royally screwed unless we left right then.
I ran out of my bathroom and took the stairs two at a time. My dad appraised me and raised an eyebrow at my hair. "Really? Today?"
I shrugged as I grabbed my white suit jacket and shrugged it on. "Look, everything else went right. Just be happy I didn't get anything on these white pants. They're so freaking white. Seriously, these things should come with warning labels."
Dad snorted at me and tossed me the keys, which I caught. "Yeah, well, let's go. You're driving. Practice for your test."
"I can't take my test for another four months."
"It won't hurt you."
"Dad, we're late. You sure you want me driving?"
My dad got a wild look in his eyes. "Let's see how well you do weaving through traffic."
I grinned at him. "Let's roll."
The car ride was nothing short of terrifying.
I drove my dad's Prius as carefully as I could, but it didn't end up being careful at all because of his crazy instructions. I was cutting off other driver's, speeding up at yellow lights, and weaving in and out of traffic like a certified mad-man. I'm pretty sure my dad screamed a few times and I might have peed my pants, which would have been terrible due to a certain pair of white pants. I would not recommend riding with me when I'm late getting places. It's not for the faint of heart.
So, in other words, it was great.
I pulled into the chapel parking lot at 10:59. The wedding was starting at 11:00. Solid.
We ran out of the car and I tossed my dad his keys. He caught them and signaled to my tie and shirt as we ran to the door. After a brief struggle with my tie and my top button, I was ready to roll as we hit the stairs.
Taking them two at a time, my dad and I ran up the stairs. When we burst through the doors, I crashed into a guy a bit shorter than me. I realized with a start that it was the wedding precession. We'd just made it.
Turns out there were more people there than a small family gathering. Of course, it was an open wedding. So, a bunch of people from the congregation were just there to watch my dad get married. I didn't even know half of these people. Again, solid.
Sally had bridesmaids lined up. My dad had groomsmen lined up, linking arms with their bridesmaids. I was about to ask if I was paired with someone (please, God, no), when the person I'd ran into turned around. Or I guess, two persons. They were arm-in-arm.
The guy was an inch or so shorter than me with messy black hair and sea green eyes. He literally smelled like the ocean. A slightly salty smell that wasn't horrible but…different. He was looking at me like I was out of my mind. He was dressed like I was, except the opposite. His jacket, pants, and shirt were blue, while his vest and tie were white.
The girl he was latched to was a blonde, who was, comically, taller than the guy with her heels on. She was in a white dress with blue trim. She had a deep tan. Her hair was curled like a princess's and cascaded down her back in soft ringlets. She was gorgeous…but her eyes. They were honestly intimidating, and it kind of ruined the picture. They were a deep gray, like a brewing storm cloud. She was analyzing me so intensely, I was kinda uncomfortable.
"Dude!" the guy hissed quietly. "Where have you guys been?!"
"Forget that! I didn't know we were having…people! Who am I with?! And who are you?!"
I already knew the answer, somewhere in the back of my head, but a bit of verbal confirmation was what I needed.
The guy grinned goofily and stuck out his hand. "Percy Jackson, your almost stepbrother. This is –"
The girl scowled as he tried to introduce her and thumped him on the back of the head. "Ouch!"
The girl smiled at me, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I didn't like that look. She was still scary. "Annabeth Chase."
I shook both their hands hesitantly, "Mitchell Blofis. You guys can call me, uh, Mitch. So…uh…should, like…"
The girl – Annabeth – pointed to the only bridesmaid without a groomsman. "That's Kate." Then the music started playing and I began to panic.
Percy shoved me towards her. "You're after us!" he hissed, "Just like, make friends, it's not hard!"
"Says you!" I shot back and sidled my way over to the bridesmaid. "Are you Kate?"
The girl looked at me and I was shocked at how pretty she was (and quietly praising God above for pairing me with her). She had light brown hair woven up in an intricate design on her head. Her eyes were the color of a forest, a deep green like the foliage of a jungle. She was slightly tanned and a splash of freckles covered her nose.
She was cute for a total of three seconds before she opened her mouth.
"Where have you been?! The precession is starting!"
I made a split second decision and cursed God above for making her a fiery ball of sass.
She linked arms with me without another word and huffed, looking forward.
"Nice to meet you, Kate, I'm Mitch!" I muttered. "Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Mitch, I'm sure we'll be great friends!" I responded back to myself in a mock falsetto voice.
Kate glared at me. "Smile and look cute. It's our turn."
The scowl on her face disappeared in a second and we were walking down the aisle, fake smiles plastered on our faces.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate weddings?
Cameras flashed and iPhones were whipped out, taking pictures of us. I smiled through the pain. And trust me. There was a lot of pain.
I released a breath I didn't know I'd been holding when Kate and I separated and I took my place by Percy. The priest began talking and I zoned out and before I knew it, Percy was nudging me.
"What?" I hissed.
"Get ready. We're about to give speeches."
"Speeches?!"
"Yeah, ya know, those things people give at public speaking events?"
Of all my luck. If there was one thing I could never do, it was public speaking. And it was about to show. While the other groomsmen gave speech about my dad, I was racking my brain to think about what to say. I was coming up with a whole lot of nothing.
And then I was at the podium.
I waved a bit awkwardly to the audience. "Hello, there." My voice sounded deeper than usual and a bit strangled. I may have heard Percy snorting behind me, but I categorized it as my imagination. "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Mitchell Blofis. Paul is my dad.
"Normally, I have a lot to say on…on, well, lots of things. But I'm going to be real with you all, I'm at a loss for words right now. I could go on about my dad and Sally and how great they are together. I could go on about my dad period. But I want to do something different. I want to tell you a bit about the bride, starting with a story.
"You all know my dad. He's an English teacher at Goode High. He's old." The audience laughed. "He's a great guy in general and an even better father. I'm not sure where I'd be today without him." I paused. "When my mother passed away when I was ten, I was left broken. My mom…she could light up a room with just her smile. She took me to Coney Island for the first time when I was eight and it was our place to go after, ya know?
"I loved my mom more than anything." Then I whispered conspiratorially into the microphone, "Maybe even more than my dad, but don't tell him I said that." More laughs. "I wasn't sure I'd ever get over her death. My dad took a couple women on dates, and I hated it. I wondered how he could get over my mom so quickly. Then I met Sally."
I took a moment to smile dazzlingly at my dad's wife-to-be. There were tears in her eyes as she smiled back. "I saw just how happy she made my dad. She'd walk in a room and his eyes would light up, just like it was with my mom. For the first time in a long time, I remembered what it was like to see my dad truly happy. And I realized, who was I to get in the way of that?
"I remember my dad telling me that he was thinking of proposing to Sally. To be honest, the admission hit me like a truck. They'd been seeing each other for a year or so, though, and they sure as heck aren't getting any younger, so I guess I had no reason to be so shocked. But when my dad told me, I was so excited. I was excited for them, I was excited to have a stepmother as wonderful as Sally, I was excited to finally, meet her elusive son, who, for the record, I just met about a half hour ago.
"Sally has become easily the closest thing to a mother that I could get. She's so easy to talk to and she just brings light to my day. I never thought I'd truly get over my mom's death, but that wasn't it. No, it was that my dad hadn't met the right woman yet. So here's to Paul and Sally. Good luck, guys," I said, throwing a wink at the two of them.
The crowd's approval roared of my speech, which was incredibly surprising. I wasn't really sure where that had come from, but I definitely wasn't expecting it. I thought it would go more something like, Well, my dad's pretty chill. I like Sally. Have fun with your marriage! and then I'd run back to my place behind Percy like an idiot.
When I got back to my place, Percy leaned over to me. "I thought you sucked at public speaking?"
"I never said that."
"Your expression did."
"I'm full of surprises."
Percy snorted.
The service continued as usual. The priest said more words, which I didn't pay attention to because the guy was like sixty and his voice was deep and mellow, like melted butter. Someone could put that man's voice on a looped CD and I'd fall into a sleep coma, no problem.
And then he said three words that were like a slap to the face.
"The rings, please."
My brain shut down. I went into panic mode. I was supposed to have the rings. The rings were my job to remember. And they were sitting on top of my pre-calculus homework in my room.
No one moved. The church was silent. If I pin dropped, it would have sounded like a bombshell. My dad peeked over his shoulder, looked at me, and jerked his head forward like, Let's go!
I did the first thing that came to mind. I clapped my hands together and looked at the audience. "You guys remember that bomb speech I gave like ten minutes ago right? Well that's about my capacity to not suck. The rings may or may not be at home."
I heart Percy snort. Annabeth rolled her eyes at me, a slight smirk on her face. Kate was groaning and glaring at me. My dad slapped his forehead.
I was fully prepared to try and defend myself. Maybe I'd make a few jokes and win the crowd over with my irrevocable wit and charm? Yeah, yeah, okay.
"Okay, but let's be real –"
Whatever I was going to say was cut off by the church doors banging open with a loud crash. A cold bit of air swept through the room. In the door were three girls and two very large dogs. Dogs as in black mastiffs the size of miniature ponies. They were just like the one I'd seen when I was younger.
They girls were a bit…well. I didn't want to say ugly per se, because they weren't. Not necessarily. If you're into girls with one furry leg like a freaking donkey and one that was the shiniest metal you'll ever see, then yeah! The other catch was that their hair was on fire and their skin was a sickly gray color, but! But I'm sure they had wonderful hearts!
They were dressed in Goode High cheerleading uniforms, which really threw me off. Last time I'd checked, none of our cheerleaders were vampire donkeys with one prosthetic leg. Maybe I'd just never looked close enough.
"PERCY JACKSON! I WILL HAVE YOUR SOUL CAST INTO THE TARTARUS!"
I take back what I said about their wonderful hearts. Something about Tartarus didn't sound too great and by Percy's expression he agreed. He looked more agitated than anything, which was weird, because the rest of the congregation was screaming and running like chickens without heads.
I could barely hear myself think as people ran around screaming. Sally was tugging my dad aside, who was standing slack-jawed, staring at the girls and their dogs as they stalked down the aisle. He was arguing with her that 'a couple of cheerleaders and their hood rat thugs were not going to ruin his wedding'. I frowned. I was about ninety-six percent that those dogs were not street rats.
The priest was yelling some prayer and throwing holy water around like he could stop and get some more at the nearest water fountain.
The bridesmaids and groomsmen were piling out the back. The only ones that were left were me, Percy, Annabeth, and Kate. Kate, who was now cowering behind me, her fists latched to my jacket. Go figure.
Percy rolled his eyes and looked at Annabeth as they got closer. "One day. Literally one day of peace is all I ask."
Annabeth wrinkled her nose. "You're a child of the Big Three. You honestly expect to not get caught?"
"It's my mom's wedding! I was hopeful."
"You're an idiot."
"Thanks, I get that a lot." He turned to the girls and the dogs and studied them. "Are you Kelli's friends?"
"Yes!" the girl leading the pack shrieked. "My name is Lizzi!"
"Is that also spelled with an 'i'?" Percy asked innocently.
"Yes! How did you know?"
"Lucky guess."
"You're going to pay for what you did to Tammi." Her eyes flashed dangerously as they landed on Annabeth. "And you…daughter of Athena," she spat. Wait, what? "Kelli's going to have fun with you…"
"Um, Percy?"
He turned and looked at me, a frown on his face when he realized I was still here. "Mitch? Shouldn't you be…running and screaming?"
"Well, to be honest, I'm debating it. But then I'd look like a little wimp. On the other hand, something about vampire donkey cheerleaders and giant dogs should be enough to give me a free pass…"
"You can see them?!" Percy's voice was incredulous.
"Mitchell, get me out of here!" shrieked Kate as she buried her face into my jacket. I twisted myself around, trying to get a good look at her. She wasn't having it. "Let's go!"
I looked at Percy. Him and Annabeth were staring at me intently like, Well?
"Yes, I can see them!" I finally spluttered. "I don't see how people can miss donkey legs and dogs the size of ponies!"
That's when stuff started to get crazy.
The lead cheerleader, Lizzi, lunged at Percy, who hit the ground in a somersault and took off running around the sanctuary. The one dog followed them while the other dog and one cheerleader went for Annabeth. The last one, of course, zeroed in on me.
She appraised me up and down and cocked an eyebrow. "You don't smell like a half-blood." For the first time, I saw their eyes. They were blood red. Completely blood red.
"Is that a racist joke?" I asked. I am quite proud to admit my voice didn't shake.
She rolled her eyes. "No, silly. It just means you won't taste as good."
"Taste as good," I repeated dumbly.
"Taste as good," the vampire donkey cheerleader confirmed. "Lizzi and Bonni always get the good ones," she grumbled.
"Lizzi and Bonni…the other two?"
She confirmed it with a nod.
"You know – What's your name?"
"Maddi."
"You know, Maddi, you deserve so much more appreciation."
I felt a sharp slap over the head. "What are you doing?!" Kate hissed. I ignored her. I had a plan…kinda. I felt Kate release my jacket and turned to see her crouch down behind the podium.
Meanwhile, as I stalled Maddi, Percy was running rampant around the sanctuary, yelling something about a free pass to Lizzi. In his hand was a…sword? Annabeth had lost her heels long ago and was fighting hand-to-hand with one of the cheerleaders. With a dagger. One of the dogs had dubiously disappeared.
"I mean, anyone as good-looking as you does! Come on! You're so much hotter than those other two."
Maddi was nodding appreciatively. "I know, right? I mean, I put so much effort into my appearance every morning, but everyone only cares about Lizzi! Especially Luke! Just like Kelli before her." She sniffed.
"It's a shame, really," I consoled. "You should do something about it."
"Like what?"
"Like fight them! For us!"
Maddi's face screwed up in confusion. "Why?"
"For personal gain and whatnot?" I suggested.
"That's an awesome idea!" she smiled brightly. "Too bad I still have to kill you. You're such a nice guy. Cute, too." She winked. I nearly threw up.
And then she lunged.
"DUCK!" yelled a voice and something slammed into me. I went down with whoever tackled me and Maddi soared over us, slamming into the table that was usually used for communion. Percy scrambled off me and swung the bronze sword as a giant dog came down on us. The sword pierced its maw and it exploded into dust, giving me a golden shower. Ugh, nasty.
"You're about to get your first lesson in monster fighting!" grunted Percy as stood up quickly, pulling me to my feet with more strength than I thought the fifteen year old would have.
"Monster fighting?" I gasped as he pulled me aside. The claw of Lizzi the vampire cut my jacket open, narrowly missing my skin.
"Monster fighting!" he confirmed with a wild-eyed grin. I was really questioning this so-called 'summer camp' now.
There was an ear-piercing shriek and Percy and I spun around. Annabeth came up beside me, a grim look of determination on her face. Her cheek was cut and bleeding a bit and her hair was messed up. Her dress was torn. She was brandishing her bronze knife quite menacingly.
Maddi and Lizzi had Kate by one arm each, holding her up.
"Normally, we don't eat girls! Especially human ones! But we'll make an exception. Hand yourselves over, or she dies!" snarled Lizzi.
"Or," I said.
"Or?" repeated Lizzi, her face wrinkling up.
"You could let us go."
"Why would we do that?"
"Because if you don't, you're going to be in trouble," I said innocently.
Lizzi laughed. "Oh, yeah? With who?"
"Luke." I wasn't sure where this was coming from. I was thinking on my feet, something I'd always been good at. I didn't realize that it would literally save my life some days.
Lizzi gasped. "You know Luke?!"
"Oh, totally! Luke and I are tight. He's much cooler than these two losers," I mock-whispered and jerked a thumb at Annabeth and Percy. I chanced a look at the pair. Percy looked miffed and Annabeth was pale, glaring at me like I was her next target. Didn't like that so much.
"Awesome! Then you won't have a problem if we kill them, right?"
"Of course not! But I want to do it, deal?"
"Deal."
I held up a finger turning to Percy. My eyes locked with his, flicked to the sword, then back at him. He seemed to understand and nodded slightly. I mouthed I'm sorry and then punched Percy in the nose. I pulled my punch a bit so it didn't break, but a bit of blood dribbled from it. I grabbed the sword and wrenched it out of his hand.
Annabeth was getting ready to pounce on me and I winked at her. It didn't matter. She still elbowed me in the face. I knocked her aside carefully, because she clearly didn't see the wink (or I hoped she didn't and she didn't just elbow me because she wanted to).
I turned back to Lizzi and Maddi and smiled disarmingly. "So what's this sword made of anyway?"
"Celestial bronze. It's deadly to monsters and half-bloods."
"But not mortals?" I asked and picked up Annabeth's knife that she'd dropped.
"Nope, you're perfectly safe."
I scoffed. "I don't believe you."
"No, I'm totally telling the truth!"
"You're saying if I stab myself with this sword, I wouldn't die?"
"That's right!"
"No way."
"Way."
I handed the knife to Maddi, who looked shocked, and then balanced the tip of the hilt on my stomach.
"Like this I asked?" Kate was left with just Lizzi holding her. So far, so good.
"No, silly, the sharp end is pointed at your tummy," she laughed with a flirtatious smile.
"Show me."
"Like this!" Maddi positioned the blade over her cheerleading uniform.
"Oh, like that!" I said, flipping it around. "What if you get stabbed?"
"Well, our essence will split up and be whisked away into Tartarus. There, we'll spend weeks, months, maybe years reforming, until –"
I got closer and closer to her as she spoke. I pretended to trip, knocking into the blade, sending it slicing through the thin fabric of the uniform. Maddi stared at me with a slack-jawed look before exploding into dust.
"MADDI!" wailed Lizzi. She released Kate, who wasted no time running out of the sanctuary. Lizzi glared at me murderously. "YOU!"
I scrambled for the knife as Lizzi bore down on me, hefting me up by the shirt collar. The flames from her hair licked at my face, coating it with a thick layer of sweat. "I swear, I will rip your heart out and feed it to –"
She didn't finish because I tossed Annabeth her knife. A second later, Lizzi exploded and the sanctuary was filled with an intolerable silence.
Percy and Annabeth were staring at me like my hair was on fire. The sanctuary was a wreck. Pews were flipped over, the purple carpet was ripped. One of the stained glass windows was broken. The podium was burning. In the distance, sirens could be heard.
"Is that…?"
"We need to go," interrupted Annabeth, fixing me with a cold glare. I raised my hands in surrender.
Percy picked up his sword and touched the tip of it with…a pen cap? Then the sword shrank down right before my eyes into a pen. A freaking pen. He met my eyes. "I promise, I'll explain everything. But right now, we gotta get outta here."
I didn't argue. Relenting, I ran after Percy and Annabeth out the back door of the church. I wondered for a brief moment if my life would ever be the same again.
The answer was no.
