Hello once again! Here's another story…
Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Mana, Cap'n Tusk, Niccolo, or the Pirate Penguins. Only the sulky penguin.
The Little (!) Walrus
Background: Have you ever wondered how Cap 'n Tusk (a walrus) got hold of a fleet of penguins? Here is the spoof of "The Little Tailor" by Brothers Grimm.
Starring:
Cap'n Tusk as the tailor
The surly penguin as the giant
The other Pirate Penguins as the audience/townsmen
One sunny morning in Polpota, a blue walrus with a red bandana was sitting on his chair near the window, counting the money he earned ferrying passengers. As he was calculating, a peasant rabbit (guess who) came down the street, crying, "Clothes for sale! Good clothes for sale! Only 1000 lucre! Clothes for sale!"
The walrus (who just finished counting his money) stuck out his head on the window and said in a gruff voice, "C'mere, boy. Lemme see what you got there. Door's open."
The rabbit eagerly ran inside and laid out all the clothes he had. The walrus looked at them disgustedly and said, "This's all you've got, rabbit?" He gave him the evil eye (a thing he specialized in).
The rabbit cringed at the glare. But instead of running away, he forced a smile and said, "W-well, I have one more thing to show you"
He brought out a brown leather jacket. "This is made of 100 pure leather and the collar's made of 100 Rabite fur. I'd hate to part with this, but it's all yours for ten thousand lucre."
The walrus thought for a while, then said, "4000 lucre."
The rabbit looked slightly surprised. I never knew walruses haggled. He said, "7000 lucre"
"4000 lucre"
"5000 lucre"
"4000 lucre. No more than that." Was the firm reply of the walrus.
The rabbit sighed in resignation and said, "Fine." He handed the jacket and the walrus gave him 4000 lucre.
The rabbit replied, "Thanks!" and ran off" He never mentioned that he saw the jacket drifting in the Polpota beach and picked it up.
The walrus smiled with satisfaction at his new jacket. It's a nice one, he thought. Just as he was about to wear it, he saw a bunch of flies getting in his house.
"Who invited you!" exclaimed the walrus, trying to swat them. He dropped his jacket and chased them around the room. The flies took no notice of his flailing flippers and continued to buzz around the room.
By this time, the walrus had enough. He grabbed the thing nearest to him and cried out, "Why, you frickin' flies! I'll get YOUUUUUUUU!"
He struck out—and this time, seven dead flies dropped to the floor.
"Goddess!" he exclaimed, "I am a strong walrus! Not only I chased 'em 'round, I killed 'em! The whole city—no! All of Fa'Diel must know about this!"
He got a patch saying "SEVEN IN ONE BLOW" and sewed it on his 'new' jacket.
Before he left, he searched the entire house to find something he could take with him, but all he could find was some old cheese, which he put in his pocket.
By the front door he noticed a bird that was entangled in a bus. He rescued it and put it in his pocket. Then, he walked all the way to the bay, where he saw a bunch of penguins.
One of the penguins ran up to him and said, "Captain! Captain! Where have you been! We're so worried about you!"
The walrus gave him a bemused look and said, "Very funny. Hahaha" Then, he realized that he could take over the penguins and escape boring ol' Polpota!"
Then, a snippy looking penguin marched up to them and boomed, "WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' CAPTAIN! I AM YOUR CAPTAIN!"
The penguin looked at both of them, confused. "But there is only one captain!"
The two replied, at the same time, "I AM YOUR CAPTAIN!" which led the penguin to cover his ears. "AND HE HAS MY JACKET!" supplied the surly penguin.
The penguin removed his flippers from his ears, then said, "There is only one way to know who's the real captain…A CONTEST!"
ROUND ONE
Polpota Bay, on a makeshift stage…
The penguin from awhile ago held up the jacket and said, "LISTEN UP! WE, THE PIRATE PENGUINS, ISSUE A CHALLENGE TO THESE TWO LIVELY COMPETITORS! THE WINNER OF THE CHALLENGES SHALL BE THE CAPTAIN OF THE SS BUCCANEER AND THE PROUD OWNER OF THIS JACKET!"
"THE SERIES OF UPCOMING CHALLENGES, WILL BE DARES ISSUED BY PENGUIN ONE, (gestures to snippy penguin) TO PENGUIN TWO (the walrus). IF PENGUIN TWO IS ABLE TO DO THE CHALLENGES, HE SHALL BE THE CAPTAIN! IF HE FAILS, THEN PENGUIN ONE WILL BE THE CAPTAIN!"
"ALL SET! PENGUINS, ON YOUR MARK, READY, GET SET, CHALLENGE!"
cheers erupt from SS Buccaneer
The unpleasant penguin smirked at the walrus and said, "I bet you can't do this!" He grabbed a stone and squeezed it so hard that water ran out of it.
"Is that all?" scoffed the walrus. "Child's game from where I came from"
He fumbled in his pocket and took out the old piece of cheese and squeezed until the whey spurted out.
The penguin's jaw dropped (think anime). "W-What? He can frikin' do that!"
And so, Round One went to Penguin Two.
ROUND TWO
Penguin One took another stone and threw it in the air, so high that it nearly went out of sight, and said, "Hey, can you do that?"
"Not bad," remarked the walrus. "But the stone fell back to the ground again. I will throw one so hard that it will never fall to earth."
He took the bird (not the one he rescued). "W-WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU—"
Before he could reply, the walrus carried him and threw him swiftly into the air. And the penguin disappeared in the sky with a twinkle.
The penguins who were watching this feat cheered.
"HOORAY FOR THE CAPTAIN!"
The penguin commentator rushed up to him and said, "Welcome back, Cap'n Tusk!"
The walrus wasn't sure how to react to their outburst. So he shouted, "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? DILLYDALLYIN? WELL, YOU HAVE ANOTHER THINK COMIN' IF YE DON'T GO BACK TO THE SHIP!"
The penguins cheered. "Our captain's one real pirate!"
