Hello guys. This is the official revision of chapter 2.

wewewewewe:

GODDAMMIT SAKI YES HER CHARACTER NEEDS MORE ATTENTION

Thank you :)

Now, let's go!

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I release a long, tired sigh; rubbing my eyes.

I take a look around the living room with my still uneven breathing. I never considered myself a decorative or a fancy person; I just buy the things I need, nothing more. My apartment consist on a small living room, one small kitchen on the side, the bathroom and the main bedroom. A few family pictures hang on the wall beside the front door, courtesy of Komachi when I first moved here, but that's about it.

I can hear the soft sound of the rain hitting the pavement outside, and the air feels just as chilling.

I takes some minutes to calm my breaths, and I slowly stand up and head to the bathroom. The hot shower is proving effective in taking away my anxiety. I intentionally take more time than usual on washing my body to ease my thoughts.

The slightly-clouded mirror projects my face. I look at my own reflection.

Things have changed in the past three years. I had gotten a lot taller, and my hair has grown a lot, almost at my shoulders.

I still have the same dead-looking eyes though.

Beautiful.

God-sama, please do something about them when you feel like it.

Making my way onto my room, I change into a set of pajamas and throw myself in my bed.

Sweet, sweet bed.

My most precious possession. We lazy people value beds more than anything else in our lives. Just the perfect place to forget about our worries. Oh, and instant ramen too. How could I forget.

I slowly lift up my phone and look through to see if I got new notifications, only finding a missing call and a text from Komachi.

"Oni~chaaan! How are things in university going? I'm really proud my brother is living the adult life! I'll probably go and pass by sometime soon and cook your favorite dinner! Ah, that earned me a lot of points!"

Thanks to the lord for little sisters.

I smile a bit. In this world of fakers, my little sister is always by my side.

Truth is, things didn't really change after I got into Chiba University. At first I thought I could forget about everything and maybe start again with a new group of people.

That was just another empty lie.

A few weird conversations later, I was yet again put as the outcast of the class. People formed their circles and groups, and yet again, I was left out.

I could only count on the other few loners with group projects.

They were good company though, I can say that.

I also noticed that the sky blue haired girl we once helped was also a student here.

Kawasomething.

We were put on the same group project once; but since we were all loners, we didn't really talk that much. We just did our part of the job, and after that, we did not talk again.

That was roughly one year ago.

We never really disliked each other, just that we didn't actually have a solid reason to talk.

So we didn't.

We act just like that. No reason to talk, why do then? It's easier to be alone and not get involved with people.

I wonder how she is now.

Who knows.

See? This way of thinking is why I am like this.

Because... even I can feel lonely from to time.

Humans get anxious when they don't have someone to talk to. They need some listener who can hear their ideas, wishes and aspirations. We are made that way.

I think about how I was back in highschool.

I wish I could be like that again.

To just not give a shit about anything.

I can feel myself getting anxious.

Fuck.

Just do as always. Deep breaths. In. Out.

I finally manage to calm down after some time. I just decide to listen to some music, since I have nothing else to do.

The apartment my parents got for me is an 30 minute walk near the main campus. It was at the other side of the city but not too unreasonably far from home.

I'm studying Literature, and plan on getting a degree on Politics on the future.

After selecting my song and putting in my earphones, I look at the ceiling.

My bedroom is nothing sort of special either. It just consists on a moderately- sized bed, amazingly comfortable should I say, a desk with my laptop on it, an small flatscreen on the wall and the closet. The bathroom was on the other side of the aisle, Its door in front of my bedroom.

Another sigh escapes my lips.

Many things have changed.

I graduated with honors. After our departure, the Service Club was closed, as there where no people interested on taking over.

I never talked to them again after that day.

I could feel eyes on my back all the time during graduation, but I just ignored everything. I just felt like a robot. I could tell the class noticed I seemed even more irritable than usually, so no one even tried to talk to me. I was just the weird guy seated on the far end line of seats, neutral expression, his hair covering his eyes.

I heard Yukino went abroad with her boyfriend to study. After all, her family is all too famous in Japan for them to escape the public eye.

I did not bother to find out more after that.

Yuigahama texted me occasionally for a few months, but knowing that I would never answer her back, she finally stopped.

The only one still in contact was Iroha, she still called every few weeks or months.

And that's about it.

A loud thunder resonated in the distance, bringing me back again.

It's amazing how easily can a friendship be destroyed. How it takes less than 10 seconds to realize that you were forming part of a complete lie.

It was all so obvious, yet I completely fell for it.

And I paid the price.

I glance at the clock on my bedside table. 10:37 PM.

I should just go to sleep.

I decide to call it a day, and after going to brush my teeth, I throw myself to the warmth of my bed.

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I wake up early the next morning. It was a Saturday, and aside the early morning lecture, I was free. I only worked from Monday to Thursday, so weekends always felt like a sort of needed relaxation for me.

The weather was as bad as ever, or in my point of view, enjoyable. The temperature was still cold and the rain was strong and consistent.

I liked going out for a coffee with this kind of weather.

It felt refreshing.

I decide to go out for a trip to the supermarket as I was running low on supplies (aka instant ramen) and catch a coffee later on the day.

Putting a pair of pants and my black leather jacket over my shirt, I prepare to go. Taking my umbrella, I get out from my apartment and begin my journey towards my destination.

There's a reason I love this weather.

It fits my mood perfectly.

Just focus on your task. There's a nice can of MAX Coffee waiting for you.

I calmly walk on the streets, hands in my pockets. They are mostly empty and quiet, except for a few pedestrians unlucky enough to get caught on the weather and the resonant sound of thunder in the distance. I see my breath evaporate every few seconds in front of me, a signal of the cold weather.

As I near my destination, I look forward towards one of the benches on the side of the street, adjacent to the park nearby.

I can make out a silhouette as I drew in closer, realizing it belonged to a girl, a bit tall should I say; seated on said bench.

I don't pay too much attention and proceed to continue, as the last thing I wish for today is being looked as a creepy, dead-eyed stalker.

But something makes me stop on my tracks.

A sniff.

Is she...

Cursing mentally at myself, I reluctantly turn to my left to get a good look a this person.

She turns her head up at the same time.

We make eye contact. At first I was confused, as I could feel a vague flood of memories hitting my mind.

And then it hits me.

..Kawasaika..? Kawasomething?

No, it was...

Kawasaki... Saki Kawasaki..

Now I remember.

God...I'm awful. How could I really forget her name like that...

I don't take a lot of time to think about it, as it downs on me that she is crying.

I get a glimpse of her glassy, warm blue eyes as she looks at me with a few streaks of hot tears adorning her face. Her body is trembling slightly.

I'm a good observer. Komachi told me that. I can easily tell people by their looks and body language.

And I can very well tell that she is in pain.

She finally speaks to me with recognition on her voice.

"H-ikigaya..."

Her voice makes my heart crumble instantly. She doesn't sound good.

Wait. Why am I feeling this? I don't want it. I already went past this.

And you all know how it ended.

But still... It doesn't feel right. I don't want to leave her like this. I'll see how this goes on.

In the end, I cannot stop it. I just care too much.

And that's why I always end up hurt.

I don't know want to do. I look down at her with an uneasy expression.

I guess we loners are more prone to feeling miserable.

She wears a simple V-neck black T-shirt and dark blue jeans.

Her face looks pale. She looks taller and has a more mature looking expression. Her hair is actually slightly longer than I remember, tied in a simple ponytail, with some wet and loose streaks falling on her face. I recognize some barely visible dark circles under her eyes.

She looks as dead as me.

"..Hey..."

We continue staring at each other, not knowing what to do next.

They say a simple look can mean a thousand words.

Eyes are sincere. They get through everything in life. You can easily change and manipulate words. Make everything seem happy, easy. It can make the whole society actually believe you.

But eyes do not lie.

Just look at mine.

I see multiple things in those eyes.

Loneliness. Emptiness. Numbness.

I feel troubled. Uneasy.

At last, she moves a bit and pats the space next to her, signaling me to sit down.

I put my umbrella down next to me.

We don't talk for the next few seconds.

"Fancy seeing you here."

"I could say the s-ame."

Her voice sounds hoarse. I start to get more worried for her state.

"What are you doing out here?"

She answers after a few seconds.

"I just... wanted to clear my mind a bit. That was, until a rush of wind sent my umbrella flying."

That explains her slightly wet hair.

"I see."

We fall into silence again. I look down at my hands.

"You have grown quite a bit since we graduated, now that I look at you," she says at me with a tired smile.

I raise my head from looking at the ground below and turn my head, looking at her.

"So do you," I say cautiously. She really has grown a lot. Her body is even more toned.

"Same rotten eyes thought."

Oi woman, don't push your luck.

"Yes yes I know, thank you."

I notice a light trace of a smile forming on her mouth, but it dies almost instantly, replaced by a frown.

Something deep on me wants to know the cause of her distress, but I don't think she will just tell me.

I understand her. You can't go on trusting people that easily these days.

But still...

For some reason...

I don't want to leave her alone.

I talk to her again. I guess I'll change my plans for now. Goodbye instant ramen...

"Look... I was on my way to get some coffee... would you... like.. to come with me?"

To my surprise, she nods slowly.

We stand up and begin to walk.

And then I realize that we will need to share my umbrella.

And the rain is starting to fall hard.

We walk slowly, side by side, looking ahead, a little closer than comfort to not get wet. I notice her stoic face with the corner of my eye.

I guess I'm not the only one tired of everything right now.

I look at the distance solemnly; getting on a train of thoughts.

My anxiety attacks again.

I hate it. It just comes randomly. And I can't stop them. An outsider would just think I'm overdramatic.

But trust me. It's suffocating.

And anyone who hasn't experienced it has no damn right to talk.

Now I'll end up looking pathetic.

Like always.

My mind is my worst enemy.

Stop... Stop right know... Just don't think about anything.

I let out a shaky breath and blink.

Suddenly, I feel a small thud on my arm.

A pair of warm arms wrap slowly around my left arm, one of her hands interlacing with my fingers.

I look at her, but she just continues looking ahead with the same expression.

A calm warmness envelopes my body, and suddenly, my anxiety is gone.

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And that's it for now.

I'm sorry this is not as long as some of you would like. I already have a limit of 3200 words or more set. I just need to get accustomed to it. Also, there was really not a lot to add into this chapter.

I will probably leave chapter 3 with the same numeration, but I will modify some things. I'll make it work.

Please review! I wish to know your opinions so far!