First things first - wow! I totally wasn't expecting this much of a reaction to the first chapter. To any of it actually...
So here's my thanks to all you wonderful readers!
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You're all, as Barney would say, legend- wait for it -dary!
When D.A.V.I.N.A's announcement ended, the wall beside the Diary Room flashed and all 12 of the housemate's faces appeared on the wall.
'Well this should be fun,' Tony shrugged.
'Define fun.' Sherlock muttered dryly.
'What was your name again big guy?'
'Sherlock Holmes.' Everybody but Malfoy stared.
'Well I think we know which universe has the most influence here. I'm the Doctor by the way. Big fan. Hound of the Baskervilles – great case. Almost fooled me. Well, a little bit. Well, not really. It was a good try though.'
'Ah, you read John's blog.'
'John Watson? With a blog? Oh! 20th Century Sherlock Holmes – genius!'
Sherlock stared at the Doctor for a few moments. 'How long has he been off his meds?' he asked the group absently, stalking off to check out the other rooms of the house. 'Molly. Hm. Interesting.'
'You two know each other?' Martha asked her friend, 'but that would mean we're all in the same universe.'
'Unless,' the Doctor jumped in, 'there's a Martha Jones and a Molly Hooper in two universes! I wonder what Jack would make of that.' He winked at Molly, who blushed. 'Molly and Sherlock, May 2009, anything significant happen?
'No,' Sherlock replied immediately.
'I qualified as a morgue attendant.' Molly said.
'Martha, what do you remember happening then?'
'Well there was that one time when Earth was transported to the Medusa Cascade and the Daleks were going to blow a load of planets up, but other than that, not much.' She sighed.
'I like this one,' Tony added, helping himself to a glass of water. 'There really isn't anything in these cupboards.'
'So what you're saying is that each of us is actually from a different parallel universe?' Annabeth asked the Doctor.
'Yes! And it's taken a lot of energy and a lot of power for it to happen. Boy would I like to see what's doing this…' a dreamy look passed over his eyes.
Tony snapped his fingers in front of the Doctor's eyes.
'Doc. How do we get out of this thing?'
A wry smile spread across the Time Lord's face. 'We play.'
*7:37pm. Grover is called to the Diary Room*
Everyone had congregated on the sofas while the Doctor fully explained his bizarre parallel universe theory to everyone. Most of them seemed to be accepting what he said, but would only truly believe it if they saw it for themselves.
Grover got to his hooves and sheepishly entered the Diary Room.
'Welcome Grover. Please take the envelope from the chair and take a seat.'
There was a golden envelope upon the black seat.
'Please read the letter within the envelope Grover.'
He slit open the envelope and read aloud to the Diary Room.
'Housemates, here is your shopping list. You have an economy budget to last you for the first three days in the Big Brother house until the first nominations and eviction. Grover, you will return with the list, after discussing with the other housemates, and tell Big Brother what it is that you want. You are now free to leave the Diary Room.'
Grover looked through the list. 'Oh boy,' he chewed on the corner of the golden envelope.
'We need toilet paper.'
'As much as we need a good cognac?'
'Are you seriously asking that question – toilet roll or alcohol?'
'Alcohol – sold!' Tony and Martha stared each other down across the kitchen counter.
'We have to think this through logically.' Annabeth stated, taking control of the list. 'Basic living provisions for three days – bread, milk, we already have tap water, pasta.'
'We have some rice in this cupboard!' Grover called from a small overlooked store-cabinet in the corner. 'And there's some chick peas too!'
'Toothpaste?'
'We'll get that in our luggage tomorrow.'
'Okay, but toilet roll is a must.'
'Bananas!' The Doctor added.
'We've got a bowl of fresh fruit here.' Grover said, bringing across a glass bowl filled with apples, bananas, pineapples and pears.
'Now it's a party!' The Doctor seized a banana from the bowl and settled back onto the counter. 'Some tea as well.'
'Some cereal for breakfast tomorrow.'
'Some soda cans,' Grover suggested.
'Why do we need them?' Hermione sighed, looking over Annabeth's shoulder.
'He eats them, remember.'
'Ah yes, the satyr thing.'
'Pumpkin Pasties.' Draco insisted.
'They don't have Pumpkin Pasties,' Hermione rolled her eyes. 'This is the Muggle world.'
'Fine,' he grumbled, going to sit opposite Barney at the dinner table.
'Okay Grover,' Annabeth said eventually. 'I think we've got the list. Let's hear you repeat it.'
Grover quickly repeated the list of objects back to his friend. 'Looks like we're sorted.' He said, trotting back to the Diary Room.
'Thank you Grover,' Big Brother said, after he had repeated the shopping list back to them, with an occasional stutter and pause as he remembered what Annabeth had said. 'Is there anything you would like to change on the list?'
Grover looked confused. 'But you said I had to talk to the others about it.'
'Big Brother is now asking whether there is anything on this list that you don't agree with.'
Grover's eyebrows creased. 'No, I'm fine with the list.'
'Thank you Grover. You may now leave the Diary Room.' Grover emerged from the small room looking troubled.
'What's up Billy Goat?' Tony asked upon seeing Grover's face.
'My name's Grover,' he grunted, 'and I think Big Brother's trying to make us turn on each other.'
'No kidding. That's the whole point of this show. But we've just got to play it out and see how it goes.'
'All housemates are to go to the bedroom.' Big Brother announced.
'Score!' Barney jumped up, leading the rest of them into the room. 'Now if the gentlemen could just stay outside, ladies feel free to come in.'
'It said all housemates Barney,' Robin said, pushing past Barney.
'Nice try Armani,' Tony smirked.
They had soon selected which bed was whose. The Doctor sort of floated around telling people that he doesn't need to sleep like they do so he would 'just go wherever'. Tony bagsied the door closest to the door, and Natasha chose the bed on the other side of the room to him. Barney, after unsuccessfully trying to get the bed beside Natasha, ended up with the one in the middle of the room, opposite the door. Sherlock stated that he wished to sleep away from everyone else because he doesn't sleep much, so he had the bed in the far left corner of the room. Annabeth, Grover and Hermione picked a group of three beds on the right of the room, and Robin, Molly and Martha got the beds to Barney's left. Draco chose one of the two remaining beds, which left the Doctor in the bed between Draco and Natasha.
'Housemates are reminded that they cannot go to sleep until after 9 o'clock.'
Grover sat up from his bed, 'well that sucks.'
'So what are we meant to do in here?' Martha asked, crossing her legs and leaning back against the wall.
'I can think of a few things gorgeous,' Barney winked, propping himself up on his elbows on the bed.
'No thanks, I'm married,' Martha smirked, wiggling her ring finger at Barney.
'And?'
'Ergh, Barney,' Robin sighed, 'give it a rest. You're not going to get anywhere with anyone in this house.'
'Challenge accepted!' he cried, holding an invisible challenge up to the skies.
'So Sherlock,' Tony asked the consultant detective. 'You and Watson – purely platonic?'
'I might ask the same about yourself and Captain America.' Holmes retorted. Tony choked while Natasha broke a smile.
'Me and Capsicle? Where'd you get that idea?'
'If the Doctor's theory is correct then there are films of your exploits in my universe, and in one of them you seem more than a bit fascinated by Mr Rogers.' Sherlock shot a glance at Natasha, 'and you're not fooling anyone either with Barton.'
Natasha's eyebrows raised by a millimetre.
'Ooh, tension, that's not good.' The Doctor butted in waving his arms around. 'Look, you can practically cut it with a knife. Just then, Big Brother announced that housemates could once again leave the bedroom. They did so rather quickly.
'So what's new?' Grover asked, looking around the room.
'Our shopping has been delivered, obviously.' Sherlock told him, striding past and picking up a gold envelope from the kitchen counter.
'How'd you figure that?' Grover checked the cupboards and fridge to find that he was right.
'We had just made a shopping list and were asked to leave the kitchen area. Boring.' He threw the letter to the side.
'Hey, what does it say?'
'Nothing interesting.' Sherlock proceeded to head over to the sofas and pick up his violin.
'Don't worry, he's always this rude,' Molly told Grover. 'It's part of the genius thing.'
'Well he's wrong about this letter being uninteresting. Listen guys.' Sherlock picked at a violin string. 'Housemates, here is your shopping, as requested. Tomorrow, each of you will be asked to nominate a fellow housemate who you wish to be put forward for the public vote. You will be asked to give thorough and honest explanations of why you want to evict your nominee.'
'We have to choose who we want out of here?' Robin asked, appalled.
'There's more. Housemates up for nomination will then have to pack their bags ready for eviction the following day.'
'They're really moving this thing on.'
'Big Brother encourages housemates to think their decision through before nominating. Housemates are also to be aware that any discussion of their nominations will result in punishment by Big Brother. That's it.'
'So we have to choose each other, and then the public make the final decision.' The Doctor summarised, looking troubled.
*9:43pm. The most of the housemates are in the bedroom getting ready for bed.*
'Wow he can really go out like a light,' Hermione chuckled to Annabeth. Grover had already crashed out on his bed. Natasha and Robin were also in the room.
'So what is it you do?' Robin asked Natasha.
It was tough to explain exactly so she settled on her general job title. 'I'm an assassin.'
Robin looked impressed. A little worried, but also impressed. 'Barney'd better watch out then.'
Natasha smirked, 'I've dealt with way more than that guy.'
'I bet you have. That's a killer dress by the way.' Robin winced at the pun. 'Sorry.'
Natasha decided that she liked this woman, regardless of her similarity to Maria Hill, her boss. 'I get a rather generous budget from my employers. That's one of the bonuses for having such a unique skill set.'
'I think I'm in the wrong job,' Robin snorted, indicating her comparatively bland work outfit.
'So you just kill people for money?' Annabeth asked, more than a hint of judgement in her voice.
'Not anymore,' Natasha shook her fiery hair.
'So you don't kill people?' Hermione seemed hesitant.
'No, that's still my job. I just don't do it for the money anymore.' She almost lost herself in thought for a moment. The sound of Barney laughing ridiculously loud was enough to startle everyone bar the sleeping Grover. 'Is he always like this?'
Robin nodded. 'Even when I dated him.'
'You went out with that guy? Why?'
Robin shrugged, Natasha checked her body language. The woman obviously still had feelings for him.
'Oh wow.'
The lights went out shortly after and they settled down to sleep. Robin, Hermione, Grover and Annabeth were all still fully clothed beneath their sheets. But Natasha, who really didn't give a damn what anyone else thought, had stripped off her dress and tights before curling up under the surprisingly comfortable duvet.
One by one, Malfoy, Molly and Martha all drifted into bed. Sherlock stalked into the room near enough to midnight, followed by Barney who was escorted by Tony. The Doctor traipsed in with a banana in the early hours of the morning and quietly hummed to himself.
*Day 1 in the Big Brother house. It's 8:30am and all the housemates bar the Doctor are asleep.*
The silence of the house was rent by a loud siren. The Doctor, who had been scratching his chin, jumped and found himself standing on his bed. His hand reached into his jacket pocket but found it empty. 'Screwdriver,' he complained, leaping off the bed and pressing his ear to the wall and then the floor.
Sherlock sat bolt upright in his bed, back straight, and blinked a few times before getting up and swept from the room to the kitchen as though the deafening alarm was perfectly normal. Natasha practically flew out of bed and was in a crouched and ready position. The Doctor made a strange noise at the back of his throat upon seeing her in her black and lacy underwear, it sounded a bit like a squeal.
Martha, from years of hospital shifts, quickly adjusted to the sudden disturbance from her sleep. 'Doctor, what is it?' she asked. He was currently running his hands along every bit of wall that he could reach, including stepping onto Natasha's bed and searching the corner of the room. Annabeth and Grover woke at the same time, both looking slightly panicked. Annabeth pulled the duvet from Grover's mouth to stop him chewing it in his worry. She slipped out of bed and stretched with a yawn. Beside her, Hermione sat up in bed and put her face in her hands. Her bushy hair was even bushier after sleep.
'I'm up,' she told them.
Draco however was reaching around the bedside table, blond hair askew, not remembering that he no longer had his wand. 'What is this Muggle contraption Granger?' he demanded of Hermione.
'It's an alarm, Malfoy,' she groaned. On the other side of the room, Molly wrapped the duvet around herself, startled by the loud noise.
Barney and Robin were reluctantly moaning and groaning about getting up. Robin tried reaching for a non-existent alarm clock by her bed and ended up on the floor.
'Barney, wake up,' she said, pushing the side of his head.
'Ugggh,' he grumbled. So she pushed him out of bed and sat on the side of his vacant bunk. He had stripped off his suit and was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts.
'Why's the alarm still going?' Annabeth asked. The Doctor had skittered from the room, searching the walls of the outer house.
'Because Tony's not up,' Martha pointed to the genius billionaire who was sprawled, spread eagle in his single bed. Natasha picked up her dress from the previous night and strode over to Tony.
'Stark.' She snapped, annoyed by the siren. 'Stark.' He didn't move. She wrenched the covers from him and his eyes snapped open. The siren stopped.
'Am I still dreaming?' he asked, taking in the sight of Natasha stood over him wearing nothing but her underwear. 'Because I really don't want to wake up right now.'
'Shut up Stark.' Natasha muttered, dumping his duvet on the floor and heading to the bathroom.
'I'm up!' Barney announced, jumping up from the floor and chasing after Natasha. She slammed the bathroom door in his face.
'Damn I like her,' Robin nodded. The Doctor popped back into the room.
'The alarm's stopped.'
'We know Doctor,' Martha said, arching her back as she stretched. 'We just had to wake up.'
'Oh,' the Doctor's face fell.
Sherlock re-entered the room. 'Molly, I want some toast.'
She stared at him, 'so make some then.'
'I want you to make it.'
'Why?'
'You can make toast.'
'And you can't?' Martha interjected, shaking her head. 'Never meet your heroes.'
'It's like Shakespeare all over again,' the Doctor beamed.
'Sherlock Holmes can't make toast?' Hermione mused.
'Why would I need to? I have Mrs Hudson and John.' He seemed bored by the mundane conversation. 'Molly.'
'I'll do it,' Hermione picked herself up from her bed and made to leave the room. 'Does anyone else want some toast?' They all nodded. 'Coming right up.'
*9:15am. Tony has been called to the Diary Room to make the first nomination of the house.*
'Tony, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.' Big Brother's metallic voice ordered. The glowing blue eye on the wall shimmered.
Tony scratched at his Metallica shirt. 'Sherlock.' He said after a pause.
'Please explain your choice.'
'I don't really like the guy. He seems smart, a genius in fact, but stuck up. Is that just a British thing or…? Either way, I think everyone else is marginally cool, or I could have some fun messing with them. Goatee especially, that kid gets so worked up.' He smirked to himself. 'Hey Big Bro, do you think we could have a shwarma party sometime?'
'Thank you for your nomination Tony. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
Tony gave a little wave to the hidden camera within the blue eye and departed.
*9:20am*
'Natasha, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
Natasha glared at the eye for a few moments. 'Molly.'
'Please explain your choice.'
'Because she's a weak-link,' Natasha explained, pushing her red hair behind her ear. 'Everyone else is a strong character. It's either her, Grover, or Barney.'
'So why didn't you choose to nominate Grover or Barney, Natasha?'
'Because Grover has Annabeth and I think there's more to him than meets the eye. Barney on the other hand is just a pest, nothing more. He's no threat.' He nature as a spy and assassin made her good at reading people and targeting what was known as 'spares' in her mind.
'Thank you for your nomination Natasha. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
She quickly stood up and left.
*9:24am*
'Doctor, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'Myself,' he stated, crossing his long legs, reclining on the chair.
'Big Brother is sorry, but housemates cannot nominate themselves for the public eviction.'
'I thought as much,' the Doctor muttered bitterly. 'Not Martha, definitely not her. Not Tony either, I like him, he's very clever that one. Sherlock, a bit different to how I imagined him, but I can see bits of Arthur in him. Arthur Conan Doyle that is, nice chap, bit odd. Where was I?'
'Nomination, Doctor.'
'Ah yes,' he settled into thought once more. 'I like Grover too, very interesting. A satyr. I met a man who once thought he was a satyr, but that's beside the point. Annabeth. I've not really spoken to her but I get the feeling she's a good egg. And of course there's Hermione and Draco,' he grinned. 'I can't send them out.'
He ran a hand through his quaffed hair. 'Barney. I like his suit, needs a bow-tie though. So then there's Robin, Natasha and Molly.' He ticked them off on his long fingers.
He swallowed, looking concerned. 'Molly,' he managed, with the look of something sour in his mouth.
'Please explain your choice.'
'I don't think she'd be happy here,' he admitted, looking through his fringe at the blue eye. 'She's quiet and shy and smart. A lovely person I'm sure, but not suited to this house. Not when the only person from her universe acts so off with her.'
'Thank you for your nomination Doctor. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
With one last lingering glare at the eye the Doctor stalked out of the Diary Room.
*9:36am*
'Martha, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'Sherlock,' she nodded confidently.
'Please explain your choice.'
'Well, he's Sherlock Holmes,' she told the eye, 'he's a genius, but he's a total arse. Out of everyone in this house I think he's the most anti-social, and he can't even make himself toast. Until this morning I hadn't made up my mind, but the way he spoke to Molly – no. So I'm nominating Sherlock.'
'Thank you for your nomination Martha. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
'Thanks Big Brother,' she replied.
*9:41am*
'Robin, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'I think I'd like to nominate Grover,' he said, chewing on her lip.
'Please explain your choice.'
'If I'm playing to win, it makes sense to keep the girls. So that leaves Barney, Tony, Sherlock, Malfoy, the Doctor and Grover.'
'So why Grover?'
'I like Tony and Barney, obviously, and I think the Doctor's kinda cute too with the whole rabbit in headlights thing he's got going on. Malfoy's got this whole dark and surly thing going on and Sherlock seems like a bit of an ass, so that'll be entertaining. Grover's the only one who doesn't really fit.' She shrugged.
'Thank you for your nomination Robin. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
*9:47am*
'Barney, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'Tony!'
'Please explain your choice.'
'Have you seen the guy? I bet he looks great in a suit. My game plan works out as me and the ladies in the house. Look at the other guys – the Doctor, he's no threat. Sherlock, c'mon the guy's a loner who can't make toast. Malfoy, he's not gonna get laid in this house, nor is Grover. He's a goat! So the only thing between me and a house full of hotties is Tony.'
'Thank you for your nomination Barney. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
'Awesome!'
*9:53am*
'Annabeth, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'Tony.'
'Please explain your choice.'
'He's arrogant and annoying and he calls me "blondie",' she explained. 'I can see myself getting into an argument with that guy, especially if he keeps up calling Grover "Mr Tumnus" or "Goatee" or "Billy Goat".'
'Thank you for your nomination Annabeth. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
*9:58am*
'Grover, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'Malfoy,' he said, curling his hair around his horns.
'Please explain your decision.'
'The guy just seems a bit off with everyone, I mean, none of us want to be here so just lighten up and roll with it.'
'Thank you for your nomination Grover. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
*10:03am*
'Draco, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'The brown haired woman, Molly.'
'Please explain your decision.'
'She seems rather pathetic,' he sneered. He wasn't just a Malfoy because of his name. 'She's a Muggle woman who hides behind others. The others are Muggles anyway but at least they have some character and pride. Molly reminds me of Moaning Myrtle.'
'Thank you for your nomination Draco. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
He glowered and walked out.
*10:09am*
'Hermione, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'Sherlock,' she announced.
'Please explain your decision.'
'At first I was thinking that Tony should be the one to go. I mean, his nicknames for people he has known for less than a day are ridiculous! He's got worse manners than Ron and he's even more arrogant than Malfoy. But earlier this morning Sherlock was so rude it was unbelievable. So I think he should go.'
'Thank you for your nomination Hermione. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
*10:15am*
'Molly, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
Molly sat on the edge of the chair, looking down at her feet.
'Natasha,' she said quietly, looking uncomfortable, as though the assassin could maybe hear her.
'Please explain your decision.'
'Well, it's hard to explain why really,' she began. 'I guess, she's so confident and unlike me that I just feel uncomfortable when she's around. And the way all the guys watch her, even Sherlock does it, it just– I nominate her.' She confirmed with a nod of her head.
'Thank you for your nomination Molly. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
Still watching the floor, Molly left the room.
*10:23am*
'Sherlock, please tell Big Brother who it is you would like to be put forward for the public vote.'
'The Doctor,' he said clearly. 'The man is quite clearly mad as well as eccentric. He told me yesterday about meeting a man named Sir Arthur, who he claims created me. Typical delusions of grandeur – he exists in a rather manic state of mind, clearly, has delusions and thinks that he is rather powerful. Complete with the grand name of "The Doctor" it is obvious that you have place a mad man in this house and that he needs to go. Some of the others have even started to believe his ramble about alternate universes. Is that all?'
'Thank you for your nomination Sherlock. You are reminded that no discussion about nominations is allowed between housemates. You may now leave the Diary Room.'
Sherlock had already left.
*10:33am. The housemates are on the sofas.*
'The results of the house nominations are as follows,' Big Brother announced. 'Doctor, you have received one nomination.'
'What?' Martha exclaimed. The Doctor adjusted his bow-tie, looking crestfallen, like a kicked puppy.
'Natasha, you have received one nomination.'
'Is that all?' Tony remarked, taking a sip of water. 'Losing your touch Stalin.'
She ignored him, trying to figure out who had nominated her.
'Draco, you have received one nomination.'
'Was it you Granger?' Malfoy demanded.
'What? No!'
'Well who was it?'
'We can't discuss nominations Draco,' Molly reminded him. He glared at her, sitting back down on the sofa.
'Grover, you have received one nomination.'
'Only one?' he bleated, Annabeth gave him a comforting half-arm hug.
'Tony, you have received two nominations.'
'What?' he almost spilt his water down his front.
'What, the usual Stark charm not working out for you?' The corners of Natasha's lips pulled up in almost a smirk.
'None of the housemates mentioned are up for the public vote tomorrow.' Big Brother informed them. Tony breathed a sigh of relief.
'Looks like you're not getting rid of me yet Romanoff.'
'Molly and Sherlock, with three nominations apiece, you two are to face the public vote tomorrow to decide who will be the first person to be evicted from the Big Brother house.'
Sherlock looked unfazed, but Molly seemed to curl in on herself. Martha reached around and gave her a hug.
'Why are you sad Molly?' Sherlock asked, picking up his violin. 'I'll be going if anyone is. As John said, it's hard for people to like me.'
Tony was still demanding to know who nominated him.
The voting lines are now - OPEN!
Vote in the reviews, and leave a reason if you want. I'll get to writing the evictions as soon as possible. Voting lines will close when I have reached a suitable point in the next chapter (so probably about 2 days).
BONUS: Leave any questions you would want to ask the two housemates up for eviction! If I get enough I'll do a post-eviction interview.
