Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters and entities from the Wizarding World trademarked by J. K. Rowling. Original plots, dialogue, and characters are ours.
A/N: SaintDionysus and MotherofBulls retain dual ownership of this piece. Because FFN's policies do not provide for a joint acknowledgement of collaborative efforts between writers, please be advised that each writer has posted the story in its totality on their respective writer pages. Reader should be advised that this is not plagiarism. It is merely an attempt for each writer to work within the antiquated, draconian policies of FFN that do not acknowledge the possibility that authors may collaborate.
Chapter Summary: Sooooo...Here we are again. And so soon. Some of you must be saying, "YAS QUEENS!" Then there are the few of you who follow our other stories who are saying, "You bitches each have three works in progress. When the fuck will we find out if Hermione regrets her decisions after the whole liquid luck thing in A Girl Worth Fighting for? Oh, and An Indefinite Amount of Forever...what's up with her moodiness?" Yeah, about that. We are also each other's betas so...we choose to write drunken crack for now. And our trope list got longer.
So tonight's adventure takes us to the land of Slytherin Hermione, Half-blood Hermione, and Virgin Hermione.
Again...we were drunk while writing this and will write all the updates while drunk.
Beta: We don't need no stinking beta. We are drunk and you have to read all our typos.
All the tropes we must try to tackle:
• Marriage law
• 8th year
• Headboy/Headgirl
• Enemies to lovers
• Virgin Hermione
• Creature
• Afraid of flying
• Pureblood Hermione
• Time Travel
• Sex God Draco
• Memory loss
• Voldy wins
• Badass Narcissa
• Horrible Lucius
• Protective Harry / Totally overt references to their platonic friendship
• Best friend Ginny
• Theo and Blaise as best friends of Draco
• Crazy Jealous/Angry Ron
• Ron bashing
• A portrait doing something
• Mentioning the slap in 3rd year
• Mione/Drakey
• Green Lingerie
• "you're incorrigible"
• Hermione "filling out" / suddenly has hot bod
• Slytherin Prince & Gryffindor Princess
• Following the Black tradition of naming children after constellations
• Draco getting mad and calling Hermione a Mudblood
• Rogue DeathEaters tormenting them
• Amazing virginity loss
• Terrible virginity loss
• Bed sharing
• "You're so fucking tight"-he'll say this when he's in her
• "Mine."
• So much smut
• Slytherin Hermione
• Drunken hookup
• Magically locked together in a room for hours
• Tutoring
• Body switch
TROPE SOUP
By MotherofBulls and SaintDionsysus
Day Two: Slytherin, Half-blood, and Virgin Hermione
"Hermione Black?" Draco questioned groggily.
"Dear, did you hit your head while you were sleeping? Yes. Hermione Black. Your second cousin and girl you've fancied since she was sorted into Slytherin. But of course it is all forgivable in the aristocratic realm," she patted his forehead, checking for fever. "Granted her father was blasted off the tree, but that will all be forgiven once our houses merge."
Draco sort of remembered this being true. He wasn't one hundred percent awake yet, and was still a tad disoriented from his dream. "Sure. Our children probably won't be insane. Going to family reunions to pick up women is a family tradition."
"Draco. Enough of your insolence. Honestly, let's get you a coffee," She huffed. "Dobby!"
"Dobby?" Draco scratched his head wondering how he was still in possession of an elf that not only left his house during his second year but also...well...got turned into an elf-kabob by his aunt.
(R.I.P. Dobby. What is dead may never die.)(I'm pouring my 40 right now.)
"Mistress calls Dobby?" Gigantic orbs of terror stared at the two haughty Malfoys
Draco rolled his eyes. House elves were so ugly. It wasn't the nicest thing to wake up to, especially when he had to wake up from a dream about eating his fiancee's (apparently) pussy. It was as close as he was likely to get any time soon, because the girl's knickers might have been made of solid gold, as protective as she was of them.
"Dobby. Bring Master Draco a strong cup of coffee, black, he's had too much sugar lately, and a piece of buttered toast. No need to over indulge. The Blacks will be here shortly."
"Dobby likes Miss Black. Will Mistress Black be joining Miss and Master Black?" His grin was one that evoked nightmares, despite him attempting to be sweet and eager.
Narcissa rolled her eyes, "No. The muggle Mistress has been called on some dental emergency for the Queen," she turned and muttered to Draco, "Or so she says."
Draco had never met Hermione's mother. It was fine. He didn't care, either way. All he knew was that she did something barbaric with teeth and that Hermione wouldn't exist without her. His gratitude to the Muggle extended exactly that far. He didn't care more than that.
"Such a shame, I like her." The elf looked saddened, as if someone told him he wasn't allowed to do the laundry after quidditch practice.
"Dobby. How do you know Mistress Black?" Narcissa's eyes narrowed as she towered over the elf, suddenly looking twenty feet tall.
"Dobby...uh...Coffee! Toast! Right away!" and off he popped.
"I've been telling you for years, Mother, you should give Dobby a sock. He's a nutter."
"Don't be cheeky, darling. It's so middle-class of you. Now get out of bed, put some clothes on, and do something about...that," she said, pointing to the tent in Draco's trousers.
"Mother! Don't look at it."
She rolled her eyes. "Nothing I haven't seen before, darling. I did give birth to you, after all."
Draco rolled his eyes. "With all due respect, Mother, get the fuck out. I'm not going to do something about my morning boner with you in here."
She muttered under her breath something about 'brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it' and promptly left the room, closing the door behind her.
Draco sighed happily, thinking about the wealth of wank potential he had before him. What should he think about? So many options. So little time.
He should probably think about Hermione. But he didn't know what her tits or anything looked like, so he'd just have to improvise. He could think about that delightful dream he had last night, but he didn't want to set himself up for disappointment, knowing that Dream Hermione was nothing like the one he was engaged to.
Draco did what all boys probably do when they wank, and just thought about tits. Big, bouncing, firm, luscious tits with pretty pink nipples hardened in his mouth. He didn't craft some elaborate scene or imagine her eyes or her flushed skin, or her breathy moans. He just thought about tits. It was all he needed, really. Because...Boobs.
"Ahhh. Okay. That's done. I say, where is Dobby with my infernal coffee?"
Pop! Dobby appeared with the miserable breakfast his mother ordered. It looked like it was prepared for an inmate or a hospital patient, not the bloody heir to the Manor. "Dobby is bringing Master Draco's breakfast." The clever little elf had hidden some sausages under the napkin, and maaaaaaybe something to calm his mind.
It was pot. Dobby hid pot under a napkin for Draco to have with his breakfast. Because Dobby was a motherfucking champ and a god amongst house elves.
"That's awfully nice of you, Dobby, old boy. I take back what I said about Mother giving you socks."
"What?"
"Nothing. Off you go, Dobby. It's rude to linger."
"Master Draco. Master Longbottom said, That shit is strong and to hit it slowly." He instructed his master.
"Now, Dobby. What do I always say about Master Longbottom?"
Dobby stood up straight and cleared his throat as if reciting something he only barely remembered. "Master Longbottom is a cunt and a talentless toad who people are only nice to because he grows the best shit."
Draco's face lit up. "Very good, Dobby. I believe that deserves a treat." He ducked under his bed to find his textbooks for the upcoming term at Hogwarts. "You may do my homework, Dobby."
His enormous fucking eyes—like seriously, what in the magical, evolutionary, or celestial realm created such a creature?— peered at him with unbridled joy. "Master Draco, when you and Mistress Hermione get married, I will gladly mind your home, if you let me, sir."
"Do you have tits, Dobby?"
The house elf looked rather confused-which...is like...a SUPER ugly look on an already unseemly creature. "What is Master Draco meaning?"
"Are you able to act as wet nurse when Hermione births my heirs? Because what we really need is one of those. I can't have the little brats deflating my hot young bride's breasts, now can I?" Only he would be allowed to suck on them. But only in like...a sex way.
Dobby looked devastated. He had failed. No matter how good of an elf he was to Master Draco, he could never fulfill that duty. "Dobby is not able to breastfeed the illustrious children of Master Draco and Mistress Black. Dobby will go put his head in the oven now."
Draco shrugged. "It's not necessary, but fine. I only meant, that you are more than welcome to come serve us, but your first act as our servant would be to find us a wet nurse. Surely you can do that, yes?"
Dobby might have been bipolar. Seriously. Nobody should be able to go through so many emotions in such a short period of time. He looked positively overjoyed at the prospect of fulfilling such a chauvinistic task. "Dobby would be honored to-"
"Dobby, I don't mean to be rude, but could you please fuck off now? I need to get dressed and I'll need at least an hour to properly do my hair before I'll be ready to see Hermione?"
"Of course, Master Draco, sir!" With a salute and a pop, Dobby was off.
Draco sighed. "Yeah. He'll definitely have to go."
Sirius and Hermione sat in the drawing room awaiting Draco's arrival. Narcisssa had come around to the fact Hermione was a half-blood. In fact, after speaking to her dog breeders, they thought that introducing some new blood would be good for the bloodline. Thankfully the other line was her line. God forbid more of Lucius' line was just so blond it was blinding at times. Fingers crossed the Black line would prevail. At least they had a SUPER ORIGINAL tradition of naming their children after constellations. I mean, who wouldn't want to be named Caelum or Cygnus? What little girl didn't dream of being named 'Cassiopeia' so little boys on the playground could call them 'Pee-pee' and pull their pigtails? These names weren't a mouth full at all.
"Cissy," Sirius smirked. "Looking lovelier than ever. So how many souls did you have to absorb to stay looking so young?"
Lucius interjected, "Sirius, how many wolves did you have to fuck befor finding your mud—"
"Civility, gentlemen," she glared at the men before looking sweetly at Hermione. She was quite proud of herself for doing such an excellent job looking unperturbed at Sirius's comment because there was absolutely no way he would know about the jar of baby-soul face cream she kept in her vanity upstairs. Worth every Galleon.
Hermione was mortified. "Will Draco be down soon? I would love to walk in the gardens with him. It's such a lovely day." What seventeen-year-old couple wouldn't want to walk in the gardens out in the open and do nothing sexual at all? Draco's balls would be a brilliant blue to match the lovely bluebells that just came in. Simply pictur-fucking-esque.
"Go ahead, dear. I'll tell him to meet you outside," she nodded.
Hermione curtseyed to her future in-laws and kissed her father on the cheek, before heading out to the illustrious Malfoy Gardens.
After the girl had left, Lucius asked, "Sirius, chap. How exactly did a well-bred pureblood like yourself marry a muggle, let alone one that produced a Slytherin."
"Well, it was Jean's hen-do, and she was drunk. Remus and I took her home and double-teamed her. We found out she was pregnant and I knew it was mine, because I was the only one who came in her cunt. Remus came in her mouth and my...anyway…" He trailed. "Well. After that, I did the right thing and married her, after she called off her engagement, of course. I knew she was the one for me because he had the mouth like a Hoover and three holes total to fuck."
"Romantic," Narcissa scoffed. "And your Slytherin spawn?"
"Oh, Jean's a total bitch. Ruthless. Ambitious. Seriously, if she had magic, she'd eat you alive." He thinks fondly of his wife, "Merlin, I want to fuck her right now."
"She wouldn't eat me alive, because I don't swing that way," Narcissa said.
Lucius looked mournfully into the distance. "She really doesn't. I've tried."
"Such a shame Cissy. You have no idea what you're missing out. Sexual freedom is liberating. Dicks and pussies everywhere."
"Do you tell that to your daughter?" Lucius asked.
Sirius snorted. "Merlin, no. If your son lays so much as a pinky finger on her bathing suit area, I'll rip his head off and piss down his throat."
"Charming," Narcissa drawled.
Draco walked down to the drawing room, high as fuck, surprised not to see his fiancee eagerly awaiting his arrival. He walked over to his future father-in-law and said in his most clear, concise, aristocratic manner, "Ey bruv."
"Fuck, you're stoned," Sirius laughed. He leaned in to sniff Draco's clothes, "Longbottom."
"SHHHH," he whispered loudly, "MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW I SMOKE POT."
"We know everything, Draco. We are very well-informed people," Lucius said haughtily. "You're woefully conspicuous for a Slytherin, Draco."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Draco. I wish you wouldn't smoke. How are you ever going to get to be Head Boy if you spend every weekend in detention?"
No one had seen her sneak back into the room. Damn, she really was a Slytherin.
Draco didn't really want to be Head Boy, but he didn't want to crash his fiancee's fantasy. "Don't worry about it, love," he said, booping her on the nose.
"I was out in the gardens, but there were so many damn gnomes. The infestation is horrid. That and the loud peacock fuc—procreating." She was mindful not to swear in front of the Malfoys.
Narcissa gasped in horror. "We really should fire our gardener. We can't have people thinking we're no better than those wretched Weasleys with their decrepit garden and rampant gnomes taking over the place."
Draco shrugged. "I'll do it for you if you wish, Mother. I'm very good at devastating the help. I'll do it this weekend, if you'd like."
Narcissa clutched her pearls at the strange word. "My dear boy, what is a 'week end?'"
Hermione made a mental note not to be such a spoiled, out-of-touch little princess when she was Lady of the Manor. "Draco, would you like to take a turn through the garden with me?"
Draco nodded. He wished she would let him touch her boobs. But she wouldn't, so in the garden he would stroll.
In the garden, Hermione's long ebony locks swayed to and fro. Her elegant robes she had worn for the occasion we so fucking unflattering. He loved it when she would wear the occasional pair of muggle jeans—at least he would get a better look at her figure. That said, he was also quite taken with her uniform skirt and knee socks. Occasionally, she would let her guard down and he would get a flash of panty. Damn, the last he saw her legs was when 'someone' 'accidentally' spilled pumpkin juice down her legs forcing her to rip off her knee socks.
"Draco?" she asked softly before resting her head on his shoulder. This felt odd, because he didn't remember her being so tall. "After our parents discuss the terms of the betrothal contract, it will be real. I'll be yours…"
"You're already mine," he said, kissing her knuckles. He knew it was the right thing to say. Witches were bloody mental how they set wizards up to say the exact perfect things to them and if you failed to do it, you'd somehow be in trouble.
"No. I mean yours." her chocolate pools (because obviously) stared into his stormy skies, or however the fuck you want to describe brown and grey eyes (I'd call it weird, personally...like...my mom has grey eyes and I'm pretty sure it means she belongs to the Devil.)(I have brown eyes and they are basic as fuck.) Because fucking color analogies. Because reasons. Because Dramione tropes.
"Mine? As in…" Holy fuck. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? "Hermione...are you ready to…?"
"To let you fuck me, yes."
Draco wanted to punch the air in victory and leap in joy. "Let's go to my room—NOW."
The parents were laughing after drinking their fourth firewhisky.
"Alright, alright. Never have I ever, been fingered in the asshole…" Sirius asked. He was the only one to take the drink. "Fuck. Cissy. Lucius. How the fuck are you still married?" He turned slyly to Lucius. "I don't believe this one at all. He looks like he's taken a finger or three up there at some point, am I right, Lucius?"
Lucius rolled his eyes and took a sip. "Fine. Fine. We called them revels. It's when the DEs would get bored. When we didn't have any women with us...well...I was the prettiest."
"You sure are, dear," Narcissa said, holding her glass up to toast her husband's comment. She was absolutely wasted.
"Fuck," Sirius slurred. "Why am I here? Something about a dowry and signing something. Fuck. Why am I letting my precious baby girl get sucked down the incest hole?"
"She and Draco like each other," Narcissa said with a shrug.
"Yeah. Why is that?" Sirius asked. "I mean...no offense...but your son is a cunt. And again. No disrespect. Just stating a fact. Hermione is a sweet little princess and Draco's basically a human shit stain. I tried to push her towards James and Lily's son, Harry, you know, my godson, but she insisted she fancies Draco."
Narcissa shrugged again. "He's pretty."
Sirius scoffed. "Fuck yeah, he's pretty. He wouldn't make it ten seconds in Azkaban, let me tell you. A piece of arse like that…" His gaze became unfocused and he bit his lip contemplatively.
Lucius cleared his throat. "Will you desist from opening lusting after our son, your future son-in-law, please? Just...you know. If it's not too much to ask."
Sirius raised his hands in faux-surrender. "Okay, fucking fine. Sorry. I didn't realize you people were such prudes about that kind of thing. I thought incest was what you people lived for."
"You did sound a bit rapey there for a second, Sirius, dear," Narcissa said, finishing off her glass of Firewhisky and tapping the glass, indicating her cousin was to refill it.
"Alright, negotiation time," he poured her more than she should intake. "Hermione has a shit ton of inheritance. Draco has a shit ton too. IF you want me to sign this contract, give Andie back her share."
"That sounds like something I'm not going to do," Narcissa said.
"Oh, come on, Cissy! You married a bloody dragon who sits on a mountain of Galleons like he's fucking Smaug."
"I beg your pardon?" Lucius looked utterly confused.
"Some muggle story. Jean read to Hermione when she was little. About tiny people and dwarves-"
"Bored!" Narcissa said. "I'm just going to say it," she threw back the contents of her glass. "Hermione reads too much." Lucius and Sirius gasped. "What? We were all thinking it."
It's go time, Draco thought to himself, as they were both covered with his silk sheets. He'd need to have a word with Mother about that. They were a bit too slippery. And not very breathable. Like...seriously. Rich people sleep on Egyptian cotton. Not silk. Get with it, folks. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" Please be ready, he was thinking. I'm only asking because I want you to think I'm a nice guy, but really I just want to tear that thang up.
"Um, isn't there some kind of a warm-up involved. We just got naked and jumped in your bed," she said hesitantly. "Maybe some kissing and some touching?"
"Well, I'm not going to enter you now, Hermione. There are several things I have planned first. I just needed to ask before we got started because I didn't want to break the mood."
She smiled. "So thoughtful of you."
"I know," he said, kissing her neck. "I am rather amazing, aren't I?"
She bit her lip relishing in his kisses. Hermione Black felt like the luckiest girl in the world. And after the Malfoy name was hyphenated to hers, she would begin her quest for world domination. The coquettish virgin plot had worked out splendidly. Now it was time to seize the moment. She shuddered as Draco's mouth enclosed on a nipple. What was she thinking about again?
"Ahh, Draco. That feels…" Weird. It felt a little weird, her not being used to the sensation. It would probably be pleasant after he did it a few more times and she became accustomed to the cool shivers it sent up her spine, but for now, she narrowed her eyes at the feeling of it."Good. It feels good."
I'm fucking awesome, Draco thought to himself as he laved the perfect pink nub. Boobs. I fucking love boobs. Big boobs, small boobs, round boobs, tear-drop boobs…. Ahhh. Boobs. They're my fave. Well next to pussy. Damn, I need to eat that. She's going to be uncomfortably tight.
After several more moments of intense nipple sucking, Hermione was getting impatient, and more than a little bored. "Draco, could you...maybe...I don't know. Touch my clit, or something. I've been wet for a while."
It was just like his dream. She wanted him to eat her pussy then. Well...she might not have said it, but her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She wanted his mouth on her, now.
"Oh. That's interesting…" She tried to relax and rationalize that this was a form of foreplay. It was starting to feel good. Yeah. That feels really good. When will I have my orgasm? I'm supposed to have one of those. When will I know?
Okay, yeah, it was good. Oh, it was sooooo good. Wait. What is that...that...can't...think… She groaned and and spewed all the dirty words in her vocabulary. She's not totally sure what happened, but she thinks she had her first orgasm. Hermione had to get over the fact he'd probably want to kiss her on the mouth after this. Ewww. Please don't do that. I'm not okay with tasting my own pussy. Like...it's cool. It's pretty reasonable to be grossed out by that, especially if you're a virgin.
Draco raised his head to look at her. "Did you come, babe?"
She nodded, panting, trying to catch her breath. "That was...wow. Draco...it was just…"
"Okay, good. So you came," he said, smiling, as he climbed up her body and kissed her fully on the mouth.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Hermione did not enjoy her taste as much as Draco seemed to. Well, I guess I know I can cross 'Have a lesbian moment' off my Bucket List. No way can I tread those waters.
Draco smirked. "Is it my turn now?"
Hermione smiled a plastic smile all witches from old families learn as soon as they can walk. "Suuure."
WEEEEE, Draco thought. Bloooow JOB. Bloooow JOB. Bloooow JOB. WEEEEEE! Draco giddily flopped on his back and suppressed the need to rub his hands together in anticipation.
Hermione looked at the hardened appendage with apprehension. My mouth goes there? "Don't expect miracles or anything, Draco. This is, after all, my first time."
"Yeah-yeah-sure-don't-worryaboutit-you'llbegreat." He really wanted that blow job.
"Okay," she said, her voice shaking. HOKAY, Hermione. You're going to put that dick in your mouth. You can do it. She held it in her hand. It twitched.
"Ummm…" So do you like...just open your mouth and sort of like...bob on it? Or do you lick it? How does one suck a dick? Should have read up on this beforehand! "I'm going to do it now."
Draco nodded, the smile never fading from his face. "Just kiss it. Start there."
She bit her lip and leaned down, pursing her lips tentatively.
She kissed it.
It wasn't bad.
"Okay, now lick it," Draco instructed.
She obeyed.
Still fine. Hmm. This isn't so bad. Actually, I kind of like how it feels on my tongue. Instinctually, she pretended his cock was an ice cream cone about to melt. He licked around and around from base to tip. She even sucked his balls like she would if melted ice cream was coming out out of the bottom of the sugar cone.
Draco moaned at the feel of her tongue on his shaft. "Oh, Merlin, Hermione. Put it in your mouth, please."
Wow. I must really be awesome. I'm Hermione fucking Black! I'm the best at everything I do. I will ROCK this blow job. She opened her mouth and sucked the head of his cock.
Draco's eyes rolled back in his head. "Ohhhhh, fuck, Hermione. THat feels so good." He fisted his hands in her hair.
That, she didn't love. Although, to be honest, if he was going to do that, he could at least be useful and keep it out of her way. She raised her head up. "I'm sorry. Do you by chance happen to have a pony-tail holder or something?"
Draco blinked down at her. Why was she talking about something not related to sex? Didn't she understand the most important thing in the world was her mouth on his cock? He shook his head. "No pony-tail holder."
"Oh. Then could you be a lamb and hold my hair back? I don't want to get spit in it."
Draco shrugged. "Sure."
"Thanks." She went back to work on his cock. This wasn't so bad. She took him in and out of her mouth occasionally swallowing her spit. He seemed to like it when she did that. She assumed it had something to do with her mouth contracting around his penis, but the purpose was purely utilitarian. There was just so much spit. But he seemed to be getting harder and bigger, and her little mouth just couldn't take it. Oh, god, gag reflex.
"Reeegh." She pulled away and gagged.
"S-s-sorry," Draco said. He wasn't completely aware how he had the presence of mind to apologize for gagging her. What she was doing just felt so good and he couldn't help but thrust into her mouth a bit. He wished she would swallow the whole thing, but he knew she probably wouldn't be able to do that without a lot of practice. It was her first time, after all.
"Just...you know...don't do that," she said indignantly, getting back to work. Before engulfing him in her mouth again she looked up at him with purpose in her eyes. "Are you close, by the way?"
"Huh?" he asked stupidly.
"Are-you-about-to-come-soon?" she asked primly.
He shrugged. "I guess. I probably could come anytime now."
"Then why don't you? Because, you know, my jaw isn't capable of miracles."
He grimaced. "If you're sure. But...I mean it feels so good, and—"
"Draco, have you ever sucked a cock before?" Her eyes narrowed slightly annoyed.
He shook his head. "No."
"Then you have no idea how uncomfortable this can be. Heed me when I say...Come. Soon. Please."
He looked slightly guilty. "Okay, okay. Sheesh. I'll fucking come."
"Thank you," she said, putting him back in her mouth.
"Wait!" he said, "I don't have to come in your mouth. I could come in you. If you're really ready."
"I'm fairly certain it constitutes coming in me if you come in my mouth, Draco."
He was getting annoyed at her now. Merlin, just seconds ago she was putting that smart mouth to much better use than this. "Your cunt. I can come in your cunt."
She blinked rapidly at him before giving him a series of nods. "Okay."
"Wonderful," he said in a mildly snotty tone.
"Draco," her voice suddenly scared and devoid of her usual condescension, "Please. Be gentle. I...I'm scared."
Well, now he felt like an arsehole. He was getting all snotty and entitled but the fact is she's be stalling because she was afraid. "I promise."
He kissed her once more in reassurance. Ew. Still tastes like me, she grimaced. "Um, Okay."
"Lay back, love," he said. He really did want to make this good for her, especially after the lovely blow job she had just gifted him.
She blushed like a...well...like a virgin, and gave him a sweet smile.
He carefully positioned his head at her entrance, "Okay. Here goes. I'm going to go slow." Draco barely got his tip, let alone his head in when she gasped. "Too much? Too fast?"
"Just keep going," she bit her lip trying to hide the pain.
He complied and pressed further into her.
She shut her eyes tightly and seetheed through her teeth. "Ouuuucchhhh."
"Did I hurt you?"
"Um...yeah. This fucking hurts."
"Okay. Um…" What should he do? Should he pull out? Merlin, he really didn't want to pull out. "Maybe you just need to adjust to it. Just bite down on my shoulder if it gets to be too much, alright?"
She nodded, already wishing it was over. A little tear rolled down her cheek as she looked for that little bit of courage. How she wished he inherited that trait. At least I gave him a blow job earlier. Maybe he'll come sooner now.
Draco pushed inside her until he was fully sheathed. Holy fucks she was tight. Like...damn. Seriously, this was the best thing his dick had felt in its entire life.
She wanted it to feel good. But it just didn't. She wanted it to be the greatest thing ever. But this fucking sucked. He had a dopey ass smile like it was the best damn thing that had ever happened to him, but it hurt her so damn bad. She felt like an arsehole. How much longer until it felt good? Was it too much to ask to enjoy this as much as he was? Why did women do this again? Other than the obvious need to continue the human race.
Draco pumped in and out of her slowly, groaning and muttering sweet nothings into her ear. So much appreciation. It was like he was at church or something.
It made her feel powerful to make him feel so good. That power...that was something she understood. The need to hold control...it was intoxicating. Who runs the world? Girls. Having a vagina is awesome.
Oh, Merlin. It was starting to feel kinda-sorta good now.
Wait. Did she...she couldn't. Nope, Hermione Black, put that out of your mind right now. You do not get off on power. Not literally, at least. "Can I try being on top?"
WHAAAAA? So, not expecting that on the first time around. "Um, if it helps you feel it better." Theo and Blaise (because who the fuck cares about Crabbe and Goyle? Like...let's just ignore that those two have been inseparable from his side all throughout Hogwarts, but inexplicably, Theo and Blaise are his actual best friends. But then again, who would expect those two dunces to dole out sex tips when compared to Nott and Zabini. Theo and Blaise were like bisexual royalty at the school. Because the nineties were full of hyper sexually aware and accepting individuals. And cocaine. Actually shrooms and acid tabs. At least when I went to school. But one thing is for sure is that weed has NEVER gone out of style.) would never let him live it down if they knew what a ponce he was being, taking such care for her first time.
He flipped over and...Ooooh. Wet spot. It felt cold and gross against his skin. She mounted him awkwardly, her lovely, slender, teenage limbs suddenly flailing all over the place. He held his penis for her to sink onto. Annnd...fail.
Try again.
Annnnd. Ouch.
Draco bit his lip. Merlin, that hurt. "Baby, let me get it in a little, and then just lower yourself down."
"Um, okay," she said slightly embarrassed. Her She-Woman bravada waning.
Together, they made it work eventually. As she sank down on his length, his eyes closed in pleasure, "Oooh, Hermione."
She now knew what a Christmas turkey felt like. How exactly was she supposed to move? She just felt so...so...full. She was certain she was sweating.
"Baby, are you alright?"
"You're just so...I'm so…"
He smirked. Damn straight! You always knew your cock was huge. Now you have proof. "Let me help."
He placed his hands on her hips and raised her body up and down on his cock.
Oh, now this is interesting, Hermione thought. "OH!" she gasped. "This...this I like." Now she knew how to move. Like a goddamn warrior queen riding into battle. Draco was her stallion er...steed...er knight… King? Fuck no. He'll have some lame ass title like Duke, because she was a fucking Empress. (Cock. He was a cock. Let's be real, here.)
She didn't think she'd be able to come from it, but it did feel pretty good. It was totally different from him going down on her, and it was certainly more of an acquired taste, but it was satisfying in a wholly unusual way. "Mmm. Draco, yes. That feels so good."
Draco was grinning like a fool watching her breasts bounce up and down as he moved her body over his cock. Boobs.
Hermione gazed down at his dumbstruck face. This was easier than an Imperius curse. Pussy is by far the most powerful magical object. Now, to fuck him senseless. Yeah, she was losing her virginity and she has like no sexual experience, but what she was, was a fucking genius and could adapt to any fucking situation. She bounced harder and harder as she felt her walls finally relax and mold around his cock. In the most alluring voice she could produce, she said, "Draco, baby, come for me."
Hell yes I'll come for you. I'll do goddamned anything for you!
Hold on a second. Easily manipulated, not discreet, fuck, am I sure I deserve to be in Slytherin?
Eh who the hell cares? I'm in Hermione Black. That's good enough for me, he internalized. "Yes, baby, yes. I'm coming." Draco's movements beneath her became more forceful and manic. He stopped checking to see if he was hurting her because all that was on his mind was, must come. Must blow load in precious half-blood princess sitting on my cock!
And that's exactly what Draco did.
"Merlin's FUCK, YESSSS!" He gripped her hip, not even hearing the little yelp of 'Ow' she released. "Oooohhh, Hermione. That was fucking incredible."
"Yeah, it was good," she said, sliding off his dick.
"Did you come, babe?"
She hadn't, but honestly, that was okay. She didn't expect she'd be able to her first time. Probably not her second or third, either. Maybe never from intercourse alone. But he didn't need to know that because an honest discussion about female sexuality is absolutely not the basis of a healthy sexual relationship. Better he just thinks he's a stud. "Um...yeah. I did."
Sirius lit up a cigarette. "You two are not that bad," he licked his lips before kissing Narcissa and Lucius. "You both started off really stiff, but you started to relax after I was in Cissy and Lucius came up behind. Oh, Lucky, I'm calling you that now. That forceful grip you do on the hips, Jean would love that. I know you'd love a taste of forbidden fruit."
"Sirius, I haven't seen your winky since we bathed together as toddlers. If only I knew…" Cissy smirked.
"Well, it's been ages since, I've had anal," Lucius smack on Sirius's bottom. "Now does your muggle wife also...give you all of her."
"Of course. Exactly the reason I didn't marry a pureblood. No offense, Cissy," he gave her boob a honk. "Jean is a freak."
"Fine," Narcissa conceded. "Let the muggle come and play."
"Right now?" Sirius asked curiously.
"Whenever," Lucius shrugged. "Damn, we haven't checked on the children in a while."
"They're probably fucking," Narcissa said apathetically. "That's that I would be doing." she giggled. "That's what we did."
Sirius sighed. "I suppose I'll have some mild murder to commit against your son, then."
Lucius and Narcissa grumbled their agreement.
Sirius contentedly leaned back and puffed on his cigarette. "Wait. What was I doing here again?"
"Draco! Wake up! The change has begun!" Narciss frantically shook her son out of his slumber.
"What the—" his skin was glowing like moonlight. Yeah, he was pale but he never glowed before.
"I'm so sorry we never told you before, son," Lucius sounded dire.
"Fuck. What now?"
Narcissa shrugged. "You've got to find your mate."
A/N: Dun dun duuuuuuunnnn. Yeah. We can't wait to read this in the morning. When we're hungover.
Now, I'm not a Seer, but I project tomorrow morning there will be some McDonalds or something equally foul in my breakfast future.
That shit will kill you. I need you alive enough to finish this fic.
This fic will never be finished. You know that. It will continue until we wither and die.
So...As long as tropes keep getting created, we're going to keep writing? Shit, dude. We have like a million WiPs that are totally being ignored right now.
Preach. But as long as there is Dramione, there will be a buffet of ingredients for our trope soup.
Nice metaphor.
A-thank-you to Enigmaticrose4 for her BEAUTIFUL, yet scarred (spoiler alert) Hermione in Brightest Black who inspired our vision of a slightly taller Hermione with long, black hair. And like...the hair isn't curly. It's just long, sleek, black hair. That's cool, right? I think so.
I (SaintDionysus) beta her new fic, Divided Dragon. It's TOTALLY COOOL. She likes our fucking nonsense. She commented on chapter 1.
So, yeah. LIke...later!
BYEEEEEE
