(Author's Note: Hey guys, here's a PARODY Mary Sue fanfiction I wrote. It probably won't be updated as often as my Vampire Assassin story, but enjoy.)

Hey! My name is Annoying Jerkass Mary Sue Retard-Noob, but please call me Mary Sue (or you'll be sorry). I'm 16 years old, and I have a deep, dark secret….I'm a demigod (if u don't know what that is, GTFO!11) I'm very depressed and suicidal because of my really sad past. My mother (I have no idea who da fuck she is!1) abandoned me wen I wuz born, and my dad abused me. He would get drunk, hit me, and rape me until I killed him by randomly giving him a heart attack (I don't know how I did that tho).

Ever since then, I have lived on my own on teh streets, until an orc (like the ones from Lord of teh Ringz) came out of nowhere & attacked me1! I thought I was dead until a really HOTT guy about my age wif gothic black hair and depressed emerald green eyes like the sea came 2 my rescue! He was so sexah that I creamed myself & he killed da orc & brought me here, and den I found out I wuz a half-blood (but I don't know who my god parent is).

Today I was wearing a very short black ledder skirt, and black corset wif lacy blood red thingies that showed off my G cup brests. I was thin enough to be anorexic, but I still have a large chest. I guess it's because I'm such a special snowflake!1 I was also wearing blood red fishnets wif boots liek Ami Lee (if you don't know who she iz, GTFO!1). My raven black hair (that shone in the sunlite) was let down 2 my knees, and I was wearing red lipstick wif gothic blu eyeshado.

I wuz walking over 2 da training arena, when I heard some1 call my name. I turned around and saw….(wait for it, wait for it)…Percy!11

"Hey, Mary Sue," he sed. He was so sexxxy. He wuz wearing ripped black jeans wif converse shoes and a black t-shit wif a gothic version of One Direction on it, and he was wearing tons of makeup, like Marylin Mansen (GTFO if u don't know who he is!11). His sad green eyes looked so deprezzed.

"Wats up?" I asked gothically.

"Well…" he replied shyly. One Direction is…OH MY SATAN, WHAT IS THAT?"

I looked up, nd I saw a sign above my head. It looked like a wand, w/h flames cuming out at da end.

"OMS WAT DA FUCK IZZ HAPPENING?1" I shouted. Then, I looked around, and saw every1 bowing down & worshipping me!11

"Ur being claimed, Mary Sue!1" sed Chiron (who was still bowing down). "ALL HAIL MARY SUE, DAUGHTER OF HEKATE, GODESS OF MAGIC, GOFFS & EVERYTHING DAT IS KOOL!1"

I gasped, & then I fainted, but Percy caught me b4 I hit the ground.

Ugh…I think some of my brain cells died. Well wat do u fink? Plz review!1 I wont update until I get 9000 good vons!111….Just kidding, I don't really write like that but please do leave a review.