Helloooo all! I'm assuming that you're all doing well! My life is fabulous as usual(not). It's been awhile since I typed anything up so please forgive me of any REALLY stupid mistakes.

Thank you VERY much to Youko Kara. My first ever reviewer! I know that it's really crappy now, but I'm hoping that it'll get better...it sounded so nice in my head...

And now on with the show...please don't throw rotten tomatoes at me.

I hope you enjoy it.

Hmmm. Well I guess that if you've followed my disorganized thoughts this far, then it's safe to be blunt with you. -He winked at me! Sirius freakin' Black winked at me! I nearly squealed right then and there, but what little self-control I have left prevented me from doing anything entirely too damaging to my reputation. I forced a sneer onto my face and walked away, but could do nothing about the pink blush that covered my cheeks. I couldn't help the victory dance I did as soon as I rounded the nearest corner either. He actually gazed in my general direction long enough for me to notice him (not really long at all) doing so and he settled his brilliant blue eyes in ME and winked. I hope it's not a bizarre sadistic warning for one of his infamous pranks.

Sometimes I feel like the entire world knows everything about me. And stupid Black is biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Like whenever he can embarrass me most. Or maybe I'm too suspicious for my own good. Ugh! I sound like a stark-raving mad, hormone-driven teenage girl. But wait! I forgot. I'm a stark-raving mad, hormone-driven teenage queer. So it's the bloody same thing (A/N: I mean no offence with that comment, seeing as i am a stark-raving mad queer teenager too. Just not hormone driven!).

I'm going to start taking better care of myself. You know, find a potion to remove the horrible grease from my hair, find a spell to straighten my teeth and so on and so forth. Maybe he'll stop hating then. Well, 'not hating' is a pretty big step, so I guess I could live with 'not trying to curse me every chance he gets'. It'll be a start, I suppose. But do I even want him to notice me (the little voice at the back of my head: YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!). I mean if he's so vain and conceited that the only reason he hates me is the way I look, if he bases his judgement of people on the way they look, do I even want to impress him? Do I want to fantasize about having a relationship with him (definitely)? At least, even if my new looks don't attract him, it'll be good for my personal hygiene to be less greasy.

You know what kills me most of all? I bet you don't (it's my head...what did you expect?), but I'll tell you so you don't have to worry. The fact that he calls me 'Snivellus' annoys me, a lot. The fact that he tried to feed me to his pet Lupin two months ago downright agonizes me. But the only thing that really kills is that I agree with him. It scares me to think that, if Sirius were to say that I am not fit to breath the same air as he does, I would consider the option of living the rest of my life either not breathing (what a looooong couple of minutes that's going to be) or wearing a bubble-head charm for the rest of my life (or until I run out of air and die of asphyxiation). Every time he tells me to go jump off the Astronomy Tower I find myself there thinking of actually doing it. When he tells me to go drown myself in the lake, I have to stop myself from actually doing it. I'm so confused. I know I don't want to die, I'm not afraid of death; I don't see why I should be. It's hard to be rational when you want to die but know you're not suicidal. But then again, I think I'm certifiably insane, valuing his stupid peace of mind (what mind...) more than my own life! I think what I've just told you is enough to account for the panic attack I'm about to have...

Sorry it's so short...I'm lacking inspiration at the time being. Which is kind of lame considering it's the only the second chapter of my first story...i don't even know exactly what's going to happen. Wow, I'm even lamer than my story...hmm...random question for anyone that's actually reading this (if anyone is...), do any of you listen to simon & garfunkel?