Summary:

In this sequel to LOVE MISPLACED, Mick solves the puzzle about the child he rescued. Now the road he chooses will mean the world to him.

Author's Chapter Notes:

Mick is in transition, the past he imagined is just that, a figment of his imagination. He has no romance with the young woman he rescued as a child. He is finding himself thru extending himself in the vamp and the human world.

LOVE DENIED

6:38pm

Mick's POV:

"I was your wrong number, wasn't I?" I guess she saw the news blurb and was curious….

"Yes, you were. And I have to say that it was pretty exciting seeing your face on the news. One day I'm talking to you by accident and then I get to tell my girlfriends that "we've met".

Where was this going? Come on…..don't yank my chain.

"So, Miss Turner…did you need a private investigator?" I was jovial, trying to remember how you talk to human women when it wasn't business and you were not hitting on them.

"Well, um…..not exactly, but kind of. The 6th graders are having people in to talk about the jobs they do and we had a lot of lawyers and doctors and even an electrician. We didn't have anyone to represent law enforcement so I wondered if you might be available for about an hour next week. I know this is out of the blue and if you don't want to I understand that too." Her tone of voice had been upbeat then as she talked I could hear the guilt that was giving me a way out of the invitation.

"When did the kids need me?" what the hell….what's an hour… in the life span of a vampire?

(The background music…. Pink Floyd "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" Syd Barrett Tribute found on You Tube)

Feelings can be so strong that you can't flip a switch. Mourning…that is where I am. I guess I could ask Josef if there is a Vamp shrink I can see….then he'd want the whole dirty story…..can't unload this on him. A 22 year fascination over a woman…..a fascination so warped it eclipses reality.

Knowing reality now I want to drop my head and run to another place in my world. Just when I wanted to mire myself in angst…the phone rings. Again.

"Hello my lost brother…where have you been lately?" Josef must have been concerned…the flavor of sarcasm or snark was notably absent.

"Chasing my tail…what's happening in your world, Josef?"

"There is other tail, you know? Anyway...Poker night…you're in, right? We have some fledglings that think they are going to kick my ass because they're from Vegas" The leer in his voice was palpable. The time was right for me to watch the cues of the other vamps…assimilate. Be the vampire. There was no reason to be anything else.

The usual, if only everyone had it so fine. The pendent light low over the poker table, the PINK FLOYD playing low in the background, chaises with languid freshies smiling softly as the 6 of us mill around and shake off the outside, I needed this. It's all I can do to concentrate and watch my hand; I play my hand and think about the metaphor here. I am left "playing the hand dealt", what irony this is. Snap out of it, St John I shake my head and drop my hand, "I'm out" and I pull back from the table for a drink. I go for the scotch when a subtle titian headed freshies drops her head and looks up to me, offering a pale wrist….veins alive. Could it be A+?

"Mick, I was hoping you'd be here tonight" she whispered, wrist offered closer to me. I take her hand and turn it over, stroking the top of her hand to her fingertips.

"Melanie, where have I been…to miss you would be a….mistake" OK, St. John…this is what you do. It's not sex, it's not making out, and it's eating.

She vacates the soft leather chair and offers it to me. I feel her human warmth, scent her flavors, and anticipate the bite, the tastes, and the rush. She steps toward me, inching up her skirt to face and straddle my thighs. She places her hands in mine and I warm her up for the bite. The smooth auburn hair falls over her breasts and I grab the two sides of the trailing hair to bring her into my space. Melanie kisses my forehead and her breasts rise and fall before me. More scents of this simply ravishing woman assault me and I am ready, feeling my fangs descend to their full length she feels it too and falls into me. Her thick hair covers my oral assault as I break the skin and taste the first mouthful. Her whole body is here for my appreciation and the rush stiffens me. Holding her carefully, I slide more forward to press myself against her open legs, her arms reach around me and we are the only people in the room. Liquid silk pours down my throat and I warm to it, warm to her. I listen for her moans and sighs as I begin to pull out of her white throat, closing the small holes with a lick and a long kiss. She's in that vampire induced rapture and breathing long slow satisfied breaths, her body is covered with a fine sheen of perspiration as if we have had a session in bed. I lift her off me and lay her gently at one of the sofas to the side, "sleep angel…." I whisper as I turn to the game at hand and the next hand...

"Well, Mick, aren't you in fine form tonight?" Josef laughed as I returned to my chair, scotch in hand, recovering from being noticeably aroused.

"If I did not accept the hospitality of the house it would be an insult, wouldn't it?" throw that back at you, Josef…..

"OK, who wants to lose big next?" Josef changes the subject as he deals the next hand. All in all I was having a good time; I was out of my loft, with guys talking sports, food, drink and cars. By the end of evening I'm up a couple hundred dollars, I've had an evening not thinking about Coraline or Beth Turner or Caroline Bishop.

I detest when Josef is right…the live blood was a rush and I felt like floating all the way home, the night air was crisp and although I could see the sun coming up I felt invincible. It felt truly good to be me.

My day in school began about 1pm, I donned my black baseball cap and sunglasses and headed for the address Miss Turner had given me, and I showed up on time and followed the other speakers into the classroom area. I could tell they were moms and dads of the students; here I was the odd vampire out. Miss Turner approached me with a wide grin and a handshake, "I am so happy to be face to face with you. Thank-you for your time" she motioned to a series of chairs along the back of the classroom; I sought the darker side of the room and was conscious that I left my cap and sunglasses on. In a room full of humans I really was quite pale.

I had brought a couple pieces of surveillance equipment as well as my collapsible baton and credentials. I watched as the lawyer drew yawns and the doctor got questions like "what's the grossest thing you do?" The electrician fascinated them with a safety demonstration. Then Miss Turner stepped up to introduce me, "Class, our next speaker is a Mr. Mick St. John, a private investigator and he'll be talking about his business. You might have seen him in the last week where he averted an early morning attack on a woman, he saved her life. He'll be talking to us about his career" and she welcomed me up to the front of the class.

The boys had that look; you know the one where they want to see your car and ask you sports questions to validate their masculinity. The girls melted like butter, eyes wide and smiling in the unknowing jejune way. A few girls with budding breasts and lip gloss smiled like a 21 century Lolitas at me. I tried not to look at them; their blood would have been incredible.

After a description of the beginnings of private investigation the boys were ready to launch the awkward nasty questions, like how many bodies I've found (too many to list), have I shot any one? (Wanna know how many I killed with my bare hands?), Have you ever been shot? (I should have brought the mason jar of bullets). The entire session went too well, with our having to close the floor on questions for the next parent to talk about being in Waste Management. I wanted to give that guy all the time he deserved.

I moved to the back of the class and was ready to slide out when a small boy brought me a note, I opened it up:

Dear Mr. St. John:

Thank-you for coming today, may I make it up to you with dinner or drinks?"

Beth Turner

This is the fork in the road.

Say "No" and walk away into eternity. The vision of who I think Beth Turner should be goes on as a normal human woman seeking human company in her natural lifetime.

Say "Yes" and it's a Pandora's Box of "what if's". How far do I hide my nature? When does she suspect there is another dimension to my existence?

Love Denied, Part 2

Mick's POV:

With time comes control. The younger the vampire the less resistance to light, fire and silver. Why else would I think my stake and lantern fire would have killed Coraline years ago?

Somewhere in 30 years of being a vamp I thought I had a handle on domination. My cushy lifestyle and lack of initial mentoring only reinforced my ego driven self-perception. I'm top of the food chain over humans yet fair to middlin' with my kind.

On a day to day basis control is paramount over domination. Moving between the human and vamp world I must control any blood lust. My losing control threatens the entire tribe; several hundred vamps rely on each other for this confidentiality.

All those years, imagining the guardianship I held over that child I fooled myself that bottled blood would be more humanitarian. Bottled blood lied to me...I lost practice of the control a vamp needs to move between worlds.

Without holding that warm flesh in my arms, without hearing the heart/lung rush and feeling the living blood course down my throat I lost sight of my power and what it takes to control that power. I drank bottled blood for satiation with no finesse. Denying myself feeding fresh I left myself with the control of an adolescent boy at a nudie show. Feeding from Melanie gave me back the confidence I need to walk between worlds...to say yes to drinks with Miss Turner.

It's like a human who fails to understand the power of their words, how curt words damage hearts or how secrets and lies break relationships.

I looked up to the smiling blond and and nodded my head and left the classroom through the back door. She left through the front door and caught me in the hallway.

"I didn't put you on the spot, did I?" She crossed her arms over her chest and made a little "egads" face at me.

"Naw, no, not at all" I had to grin at that...because I was on the spot. "When did you want to get together for drinks?" I asked.

"How's Friday evening?" her eyebrows rose to accentuate the question as she leaned closer, I caught a whiff of freesia and stood back, looking around the hallway.

"Around 7 or so?" She nodded and she picked a place near her neighborhood, I tipped my cap and left. I felt her eyes on my the entire walk out of the school.

Knowing that I was due to feed I headed to Josef's, not that I felt like a mooch, just that I knew he had the "groceries" and it would take a while for me to organize a stable for myself. This is ironic; Mick St John is "becoming" a true vampire to better associate with humans.

Josef was putting on the length of green carpet when I arrived, although I wanted someone as luscious a Melanie...I didn't want to get into any habits. "Hey, old man, who's on the buffet today?" I slapped his back as he was about to take a stroke.

"Not only do you spoil the putt, you come to freeload!" Josef grinned as he dropped the putter and walked toward me, arms outstretched. I was thinking he was coming to strangle me when he through his arms around my shoulders and got in my face.

"I love you too, Josef, please, don't slip me the tongue" I pushed him back to arm's length. He grasped at my face and held our gaze.

"I don't know what possessed you to feed here the other night...brother, am I seeing a conversion? Were you just playing with me?" His gold eyes were unflinching as I broke his hold and sat down.

"No, an epiphany, you are seeing my realization that I do need to feed fresh, need to get used to who and what I am." again I'm picking at imaginary lint and not seeking deeper conversation on the subject." I just don't want to feed from the same group. I don't want to get some girl's hopes up, I do not want a relationship, just dinner."

"Mick, my boy, you're in the right place. Mel is off today and I have a couple of sunbathers who's A+ should be sweet and warm" Josef looked at his watch and slid off his necktie and opened his top two buttons, "let's walk" he said as we left his office.

Her skin was still warm and silky from the sun. Her brunette hair was tied into a mass of ringlets and her bathing suit appeared sprayed on. I gave Josef the eye and the "face".

"Jackie, did you want to change, dear? Why don't you shower and dress and come back?" Josef knew I didn't want a slap and tickle, just a meal.

When she returned with one of the sister Freshies Josef and I were in two different worlds. Josef availed himself of each of her charms, without compunction he began with a nip from the wrist and had her on her back in the chaise as he stroked one breast and bit at the other.

I led Jackie to the other end of the room and read her like today's paper. She was all business and we were new to each other. She sat on my lap as a child would sit for Santa, wrap skirt demurely covering her long legs, peasant shirt clinging her curves leaving her neck open to me. The small talk was forgotten as her scent intoxicated me, oriental musk was confusing me. Did I want to eat or do something else? If I didn't start to eat I'd be here longer doing more...

Her tan flesh was crying to be stroked as I pulled her close, her coarse and shiny brunette hair tickled me as we got used to each other, moving in different positions to see how the two of us fit best. I laid her back on the chaise leaning over her, her legs stretched down the chaise parallel with mine. I took her face in my hand and tipped her face away from me, viewing the throbbing blue trail on her throat. I sensed her calm and joyous anticipation as she sighed and smiled. Her heart was building a melody as my tongue lazed in a circle and when I tasted her desire for me, fangs lengthened and sought home. I pulled her close, holding a generous breast in one hand while I held her neck to me.

Still new at this, I listened carefully to her strong heartbeat and when I tasted the surrender and sensed a slowing I withdrew and licked at the two wounds, so small, hidden underneath her brown waves. I smoothed her hair and clothes out as I laid her back with a cashmere throw that she grasped in her half sleep with a smile on her face. As I stood up I felt the throb behind my fly and smoothed my trousers down, shaking the rush of the blood through my body.

I've thrown away the rocky rthym of angst and picked up where I should have when Coraline gave me my "wedding gift". She said she was giving me a gift, forever.

I guess the cliché is right...it's not the gift, nor the giver, it's the thought that counts.

Part 3

Mick's POV:

I step a bit lighter, I think more clearly….the thin veil tempering my vision for the past 2 decades torn away by two generous women, Melanie and Jackie.

Just today as I sat behind a copse of trees, watching my subject as he made dinner reservations with an associate from a competing firm, I realized the acuity I've gained within the two feedings. Today's job, just a case of industrial espionage, I wrapped up within the hour….I just hate billing them for 1 hour, they'd wonder how I could come up with so much in such a short time. The company doesn't know what my edge is, so I guess I'll just gather a bit more info….it's an overcast day and the view of the subject and the prospective dinner guest isn't too shabby.

Just when I look up again I see the lovely Miss Turner walk into the salon. I multi task as I watch her take a seat. I watch her hands as they move around her head, holding up pieces of her blond mane, motioning to her forehead and nodding.

I document the rueful activities of Mr. Sullivan and how he's about to sell out to the charms of Ms. Hicks with his competitors and decide to wrap up the surveillance. I've got a metamorphosis to view.

Within the hour the chair spins Miss Turner around and she steps out the door. The golden hair to the middle of her back has been chopped and styled to a shoulder length bob, thick around her neck, still guarding her pale throat. It moves with her, in opposition to her hips as she walks to the car. I'll have to pretend it's a surprise when I see her tonight. Was our date the impetus for the change?

I drive home and log the evidence to my client, write up the invoice and "clock" out for the week.

It's been too long since I've had date night. Actually my last date was around the time of those BURMA SHAVE signs along the road. Those were the days when I bathed and shaved, thinking that if I wanted to smooch I didn't want to scratch my date with a 5 o'clock shadow. What do I do about fangs?

USE THIS CREAM

A DAY

OR TWO

THEN DON'T CALL HER —

SHE'LL CALL YOU

BURMA SHAVE

Then I'd polish my dress shoes, pull off the pieces of toilet paper where I cut myself shaving and slap on a little Clubman Bay Rum. Slick back my hair with my black pocket comb and load the wallet with a condom or two if I was lucky.

Yeah, date night.

Being casual, not wanting to try too hard, I pull out one of the Henleys I consider my "lucky Henley". I've worn it without getting staked or shot. In my line of work it is indeed my "lucky shirt". Not that I'm presumptuous, but I did stock the fridge so it looked bachelor level and not vamp occupied. Through the door you can see a little OJ, fresh strawberries, a dozen eggs and some coffee creamer. I'm thick but not stupid.

Thank god she's out of the jumper thing she wore to work, she doesn't see me and I'm watching her enjoy her new hairdo. It moves with her conversation to the bartender and I can tell she likes the way the ends touch her shoulders. Straight legged jeans and black jacket, Steve Madden boots, standing there waiting for me.

I cut through the crowd just as she's about to pay for her drink and throw down a credit card nodding to the barkeep, "double single malt up, nicest you have". And he nods back delivering a generous pour into the glass.

"Good evening, Miss Turner" I catch her hand between my hands, we lock eyes and she smiles, eyes blinking at the feeling of my cold flesh. I realize it and drop her hand immediately.

"Hi, Mr. St. John, cold hands, warm heart?" She goes to place her hand at my chest and I step back, hand over my sluggish undead heart. She's not ready for this or at least I'm not.

"I guess so, call me Mick, OK?" as I wrap one hand around my glass and shove the other in my pants pocket. The music carries a few seconds of silence between us and then she starts.

"Well then call me Beth. I do want to thank you for coming in, it's a small school and I knew they needed a headliner like you once I saw the news." She nervously placed her hair behind her ear, then within the sentence finger combed it out.

"So I was the headliner? I always thought a Heart surgeon was a hard act to follow". My new obsession was going to be Conversation 101….how do you talk to someone you thought you knew…when you do not know them at all?

"Maybe to my Mom, she's still lamenting my single status." She flashed her empty left hand.

I go in for "Investigative skills 101". "So does she need a PI to discover why the ring on that hand disappeared?"

"uhum, till about 6 months ago, a college flame. Anthony and I had a difference of opinion and he went east. It's been the best 6 months of my life. I'm an adult, I have a solid job I love, I have a little apartment and new car, my college loans are paid off…jeez I am just spilling my guts to you on the first drink…what mystery will be left if I don't shut up" She laughed fully and smiled with her eyes.

Maybe being a vamp I am drawn to those smile lines….proof that this soul has experienced emotions.

"So, was Anthony a doctor?" I'll bite for more info as I sipped my drink.

"No, broadcast engineer, he's history. Let's talk about you. Are you from around here?" she nodded toward me and I swore she inched to me.

"I'm an orphan" I lied. "You know I have very little baggage" and I thought…..My little baggage has big fangs. "I'm a P.I. and I'm single" didn't mean to trip over that one, but how does a first date sound if he tells you he killed is wife 20 some years ago?

"Wow, it just gets better and better. You rescue maidens, clean up well and you're single!" She tipped back the malbec and drained the wine glass, put it down and had that wide grin like she found the grail.

"What do you do for fun?" I asked, fumbling with my pocket change, trying to warm my hand for an eventual touch.

"I like to ride horses" that was a bad hobby for vampires….they get skittish. Strike 1

"I like to picnic on the beach" Strike 2

"I like concerts; I have two season tickets to the symphony" OK, that's Ball 1.

"And, do go on" I smiled as I passed her glass to the barkeep for a second wine.

"I do a little writing, left over from my days as a reporter, I love old books. Some days I jump in the car and scour used book stores for oddball stuff" Great, Ball 2 I thought. Then she queried, "Even if you are an orphan, tell me about yourself…what you like to do?" she poked a finger at my duster lapel. When she met with my chest I thought her eyes twinkled.

"I like music, play a little guitar, like photography because I use it so much in my work" The rest of the room was awash in color and noise. People were bumping off each other like tribal mating rituals. I had to shield out the pheromones to keep myself flaccid. I wanted to get her out of her to a neutral place; you know no food, no horney throngs, and lots of space between us.

"I like books, I have a big bookcase and a fireplace, some days I just hole up inside and read" I volunteered. She nodded and agreed. There we go, Ball 3.

Just then out of the corner of my eye, Melanie flashed past me and careened off a buff guy in a business suit. He spun her into his arms and she winced at him like "no deal". His response was "hey babe, don't count me out, this could be fate – you bumping into me".

She responded with a light, "Yeah, you could change my life, right?" as she shrugged herself from him. I wanted to avoid a freshie confrontation; even though they are schooled to confidentiality I didn't want Beth to see this vixen in a gold lame top as competition.

I swung around next to Miss Turner under the guise of speaking in a lower volume. There she was next to me, her fragrant hair shining in the bar's dim halogen lights. My move seemed to please her and she held her wine glass for awhile without drinking, as if it were an afterthought.

"Was there somewhere else you'd like to go?" she asked then considered her question, "I mean a movie or I know a little bookstore that has a lot of Victorian editions. We'd have an hour or so to dig through the stacks" Ball 4….we're walking….

Part 4

Mick's POV:

I offered to drive and she produced keys so fast my head spun.

"Why don't we meet there?" she chirped and spun on her heel to her car.

OK, the lady is calling shots tonight, doing all the safety precautions modern women are advised- Meet at a neutral location, drive yourself and watch your drinks. Of course she hasn't been advised to wear a turtleneck to ward off admiring vampires.

The book store is a converted old home was open until 11pm on Fridays. We meandered through rooms of travel, cook books, fiction, self-help and non-fiction until he pulled me back into an addition with books to the high ceiling complete with rolling library ladders. "This is where I squandered by prime teen years" she grinned as if she were showing me the gold of Montezuma.

She took a spin around the room, running her pale fingertips over the spines of the musty books. Her fingers lingered at the horror and mystery volumes.

I stood, hands in pockets and eyes catching the names. "So you enjoy Poe and Stoker?" This may be good, easier to connect.

"I've always loved Frankenstein…I always felt we are all like this assembled monster" she grew wistful and quiet while I grinned and felt my neck for bolts and grinned at her.

She playfully slapped at me "Not like that! I meant we're an amalgam of our life's experiences. Each thing changes us. He wasn't a monster, he wanted companionship, understanding" she clutched the book to her breasts and spoke convincingly. Could she plead my case this well?

So…I need companionship and understanding. I inhaled the mildew mixed with her perfume as we chatted about her childhood books. I didn't want to admit how precious a book was to a depression era child. We looked at the bookplates in the used books and discussed the possible lives of the owners with their ornate Spenserian script and their formal names.

Before we knew it the owner was blinking the lights "You don't have to go home, you just have to leave here" he chimed as he flushed us out. As we vacated the home the air became clearer and her bouquet began to bloom. I walked behind and consumed the sweet smell of the hairstyling products in her new hairdo, the dabs of cologne at her wrists and not behind her ears or knees, the scent of her secretly applied lip gloss.

"Do you want to go for coffee, or is it too early for breakfast?" she asked, standing on the sidewalk as the sign lights flickered off. Did she want to linger?

I paused at the thought of a 24 hour restaurant and shook my head, "You want to eat breakfast at this hour?" still grinning yet not wanting to push eggs around a plate.

"In college, Oh, I loved dancing until they threw us out, then piling into a car and hitting the pancake house for silver dollar pancakes and bacon. Then we'd stumble home and collapse and sleep until 2pm!" just the thought of doing that again excited her. I must have looked tired; she stopped laughing abruptly and asked "I forgot about your job, you probably have to work, don't you?"

It was a perfect out and tonight I took it, preferring to set up another chance to spend some time with my new Beth.

"You sure are the strong and silent type!" She laughed as we agreed to head home. We walked toward our cars and she slowed her lope to walk beside me, one hand on her purse, one hand hanging free at her side, dangerously close to me. Was this my cue to take her hand in my carefully warmed hand?

We stopped and faced each other, I told her "I'd like to see you again" as I pushed a strip of hair away from her mouth. Electricity seemed to crackle between us.

"Do you eat?" she uttered and then flustered lowered he head and laughed…."I mean, do you eat Thai food?" I thought she had me there for a moment.

"Not much, how about a Jazz Club?" I countered.

"I don't know much about Jazz, but it sounds like fun. What's it like?" Her shoulders rose in anticipation of the description.

"Dark, close, they used to be smoky, but they've cleaned them up. How about next Saturday, I pick you up at 9:30, Wear your dancing shoes?" I was rubbing my hands behind my back to warm them, to spare her a cold handshake good night. I had to pinch myself.

This Beth was cautious and forward, unguarded and effusive. I had spent the night catching her delicate and distinctive fragrance…this is a new and different woman, not a damaged girl. Her blue eyes flashed at my offer. We resumed the trek back to the cars and she clicked open the lock and turned back to say good night. I stepped for a possible kiss and our hands met in front of us, fingers intertwined briefly and I lifted her hand to kiss the back of her hand. She stood rock still and let out a little excited quiver. She stepped toward me and gave me a hug, the side of her face to my chest. My hands fell lightly around her shoulders as we enjoyed the moment.

She pulled away and grinned red faced "Good night, Mick, I enjoyed our evening" and she lowered into the car seat and drove off. I waited until the taillights were gone and headed off to an old friend.

Guillermo was poised over a gurney when I knocked, "My man, long time no see". He stepped to wash his hands then finished and leaned with his back against the sink.

"You got a few minutes?" I stood opposite him and folded my arms, sniffed and pinched the bridge of my nose…questions like this are difficult. "I'm thinking of going fresh, so I won't need my usual, just a bit for snacks". He took it rather well, but I was looking for more of my background from him, some pushback to tell me more about myself, the self I had lost.

"You cut that human you used to talk about loose?" he asked with a bit of surprise.

"Well, you could say I'm going a different direction, I think I'll feel better" still hoping for him to reveal a secret I do not know about myself.

"Are you thinking of keeping a couple Freshies on hand? I got friends, you know?", 'G" always the go-to guy.

"Naw, Josef's got me set up" won't he be surprised I thought….

"I forgot you got access to the high priced vein" he smirked as he packed the 2 pints into the backpack and handed it to me. I slipped him the crisp bills and shook his hand good night with no revelations learned.

I swung my car over to the Full Moon Bottle Club, all vamp, all the time. The bartender looks a lot like Clark Gable, oh hell, it is Clark Gable. He goes by Frank now. I threw my keys on the bar and he responded with my bottle of scotch and a glass. "Mick, you son of a bitch, what can I do you out of?" a lock of steel hair fell over his brow, eyes squinting with his smile.

"Tell me what you think of me" I asked as I kicked back the first shot. He flinched and bit hard on the cigar, the pencil thin moustache arched as he grinned.

"Well, Mick, you are no lumberjack". He pulled himself up to his width and grinned

"And you were, so tell me more" I reared in the barstool, my back resting against the wood back.

"Mick, come on, what is this about? You're not a chump; you're a stand up guy. Where is this going?" He poured again for me.

"I need some constructive criticism. Tell me what you think I've done with my last 20 years?" So I can know I thought.

"You've kept to yourself, lived like a monk. I never see you with dames, human or vamp. For that matter you don't get mixed up with humans. I always heard you were a bottle baby" there he was referring to my bagged blood fetish.

"And how would you have done it?" I asked, eye to eye with him, both of us, elbows on the mahogany bar.

"Oh, hell no. If I had Carole with me maybe. Being alone I like the ladies, the ebb and flow of the skirts. Being older isn't bad, women like the "older man. Every few years they bring back "Run Silent, Run Deep" or "Gone with the Wind" and I catch all the skirt I need. Mick, leave the monastery, excuse the expression, and live a little" he chewed at the short cigar urging a few more smoke rings out of his mouth.

I laugh a bit at him, "So I should lighten up?"

"I saw you with Tierney Taylor and I thought you had turned a corner, shame about that girl. Any other revelations you'd like to know tonight?" He wiped the bar and raised that eyebrow at me as he stubbed out the cigar in the ashtray.

I shook my head and put a bill on the bar, picked up my keys and said good night. The night was silent as I drove along the coast with the top down. The clouds painted a mask over the moon. I was enthralled by the blue black sky and the stars. On the road, it was just me and my thoughts.

When you're faced with a puzzle, the easiest solution is sometimes the right one. I've spent 20 some years alone, imagining a little girl growing up. Having no photos, no files I now understand my very active imagination conjured this perfect woman to be the antithesis of Coraline. I grew her as you would grow a specimen rose, alone in my loft. I pruned away the things that were bitter or hurtful and fostered a fantasy of a beautifully innocent but damaged woman that needed me as much as I needed her.

My fantasy has been uprooted by reality and for the first time in this nature, I am ready for reality.

Part 5

Mick's POV:

So she's game for a jazz club. When was the last time I sailed away on the hurly burly of 4 cats improvising, while a stacked, throaty gal sang scat? Would a youngster like Beth stare as they traveled on their individual paths to a single hot destination?

These thoughts ran through my head as I removed my clothes. Before I cast off the shirt I took a long draw on her scent, then smiling tossed it into the hamper. I stood in the shower while the force of the cool streams flushed the day's decay away. It was in this shower I imagined holding Beth, writhing under the influence of Black Crystal, while she begged me to turn her. I can almost feel her weight against me as I thought I brought her back from the edge. How really foolish I feel now. It was one of those day dreams that consumed 8,000+ days of my eternity.

My Sunday evening found me at Josef's for a little sports and dinner. Without a lot of prodding Josef understand my desire to be unencumbered to my food sources. I appreciate a fresh A+, this is not the place to find Miss Right, nor is feeding Vamps the place to meet your Prince Charming.

Tonight he has his usual peep show going on around the pool. At dusk the lavender sky catches the orange orb and the vamps come out to play around the sensuously lit water. Its redhead night and I have a few words with his Freshie Mother, Elena. There in the pool strokes a strong, leggy beauty. She pulls herself out of the water and sits her firm ass poolside, ivory freckle speckled legs still in the water. Wringing the water out of the shoulder length hair she smiles back at me. Elena delivers a towel to her and within 30 minutes Maddy stands before me, dry and fragrant in a teal linen Kimono.

"Good Evening, Mr. St. John, I'm Maddy" she extends her well-manicured hand to me.

"Hello, Maddy. Have you done this before?" I want experience to guide my inexperience.

"Yes, Sir, many times" and she offers her wrists as proof.

"Would you like a drink?" I offer and she shakes her head no and sits beside me, tossing the mane of auburn hair aside to reveal a freckle dusted ivory throat. Nary had a bit of makeup on her elegant face, taut young skin covered the freeway of her veins. I noticed the recently released endorphins from her laps in the pool and the body wash she had just used.

She offers my choice of hands and I view the well healed minute marks a skilled vamp leaves.

My arm encircles her shoulders to tactilely consume her luscious aura. She sighs joyfully at my touch as my palm skims down her back to rest at her waist. We draw face to face as she drapes her body across my lap, gazing up with half lidded hazel eyes. She drew her knees and rolled into my chest, slipping a delicate hand around my back to slip a thumb in my belt loop, holding tight. Lifting her wrist the rush begins, my tongue sought her pulse and she exhaled in anticipation. At my bite we draw close and hold each other thru the exchange of warm passionate waves. My skin warms to her as I taste the energy of her athletic blood.

Her vitality met my thirst

My desire met her generosity

Our appetites satisfied our hunger

When I heard and scented her orgasm and felt her deep slow breathes I released and kissed the small wounds nearly closed. I lifted her and carried her to the chaise where she curled under her down throw. Dimming the light I slid out of the room, making my getaway, almost.

"To my amazement, here's Mick St John feeding fresh twice within 1 week!" Josef's pie face grin was in front of me as I attempted to leave. He shook his head and released his necktie and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt.

"I want to thank you for your hospitality" as I followed him to his study and plunked down in the leather chair opposite his desk.

"So you are returning to the fold after what, 22, 23 years?" he sat on the front edge of the desk, drumming his fingertips.

"That's true" I was keeping my answers short….didn't want to invite more queries. I didn't want to hear "I told you so".

"So, do I need to send a grocery bill by the meal or a monthly rate?" his eyebrows rose in question.

"Will you deliver or will I always be eating out?" I poke back at him.

"This isn't Pizza Hut; it's worth the drive, boyo". Josef smirked.

"Sure, you have the staff in place to Freshie sit after my meals…and they'd be happier here, I don't have a pool" I joked as I thought of a gaggle of Freshies invading the fortress.

"So what sparked the change?"

I prepared to bolt when Josef anticipated it and stood over me, pinning me in the chair.

"Can't a vamp change his mind?" I asked as we peered almost eye to eye.

"You would not be the Mick I love and admire if you honestly expected me to believe you" then he stepped back with fists on hips and I knew he was expecting an answer.

Better to fess up and be done, whenever Josef is involved.

"I'm working more in the human world; I need my wits about me, my control. When I master all the subtleties I'll know I'll have al the control I need. I'll be top of my game." I was rambling.

"Mick, who writes your stuff, Vamp Life Quarterly?" How about you feed because it's what we do? It's our nature?" Josef stepped back to the edge of his desk and sat back smiling. "You never have to apologize for what you are or for taking your nourishment. It's a big world and there are plenty of willing Freshies. I'll always have your back."

If he ever thought there was another reason for my 23 year bagged blood habit Josef never let on, he just welcomed me back into the fold.

About Tuesday I sent a bouquet of spring flowers to the school with a Jazz CD and a note that I was looking forward to our date. Within the hour of delivery I got a phone call, I knew it was her….but didn't admit it.

"St. John Investigations" I answered on the 3rd ring, trying to be cool.

"Mick, is that you?" Beth asked.

"Is this Beth?" Of course it was Beth…..

"Yes, and I wanted to call and thank you, the children love the flowers as much as I do. We listened to the CD while they lay down, it really relaxed them. You are such a gentleman!" She was genuinely pleased and that doubly pleased me.

"It was going to be so long until we were getting together again, I didn't want you to forget me" I felt 17 again.

"Forget you?….I don't think so…..Do you roller skate? I'm chaperoning a class skating party tonight at 6:30-8:00, would you like to join me afterwards, and we could have coffee or a drink" she was hopeful.

Not wanting to experience the cacophony of 24 five year olds pounding skates on wood, I agreed to meet her at a wine bar about 9pm.

I stood opposite the door, waiting to see her. I got there early in case she hurried. I had ordered a bottle of wine opened and sat there drinking scotch neat until it seemed her smile preceded her. If I say I felt her before I saw her, you'd think I was playing some vampire game. This was emotion, not vampire instinct.

She was flush from skating circles and her blood was literally bubbling within her. I could have gotten a contact high just holding her. I pulled up a barstool at the table and poured her a glass of wine. "Are you hungry?" I knew she could eat; the lady has an appetite for treats other than roller rink pizza. I ordered a plate of tapas, and enjoyed watching her eat enthusiastically as we made small talk. By 11pm we were wrapping up the smiling competition and I settled the check and we walked to her car.

The breeze blew her scent, a mixture of her skating's glow of perspiration, her cologne, the wine and finger foods she snacked on. I wanted to snack on her, just a little bite and I knew that would be bad form, no bites before the 7th or 8th date at least I laughed to myself.

She unlocked the car and threw her purse in the front seat, then shut the door and leaned against it, as if she beckoned me to embrace her. I stepped toward her, placing my palm on the car hood, bracing myself an arm's distance from her. Beth laid her arm on top of mine and reached for my free hand. My staunch resolve was evaporating as we seemed to be melting toward each other. If I could keep my belt buckle from grazing her waist I'd feel like the Captain of Self Control.

It wasn't vamp speed, just old fashioned romance that drew our lips together. "You smell great" she whispered as she released from the first chaste kiss, our bodies fully apart.

Would I have been impertinent to say "You taste great"? let me save that for later, how about "You do too" as I move a half step closer to kiss again. She pulls me to her breasts and our arms wrap tentatively around each other's shoulders. I pull back and say "Good night until Saturday, OK?" and she releases me, nodding and grinning.

"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" she giggles and crawls into the car, whirring away before I can gather my senses to reach for my car keys.

It's all I can do to keep from singing with the top down….

Old Blue Eyes sings it best

.com/watch?v=2WQiTys6FA4

I never cared much for moonlit skies, I never wink back at fireflies

But now that the stars are in your eyes I'm beginning to see the light

I never went in for afterglow or candlelight on the mistletoe

But now when you turn the lamp down low I'm beginning to see the light

Used to ramble through the park, Shadowboxing in the dark

Then you came and caused a spark that's a four-alarm fire now

I never made love by lantern-shine I never saw rainbows in my wine

But now that your lips are burning mine I'm beginning to see the light

Part 6

Mick's POV:

Satisfying my new appetite took some getting used to. Instead of a leisurely rising and hitting the hidden fridge for a pint, I'm up earlier, showered, dressed and in the car to Dad's house…Oh how Josef hates when I wander in and ask if I can raid the cookie jar. Even with the satiric verbal sparing Josef and I are closer than ever, as if I come into my own. I don't feel the training wheels are off yet, I just don't have craving for the cure or the taste for dead blood.

I understand Josef and Simone, and this could be a clue to where my life is going. Having "the list" disappear due to a Frat prank made being a Vampire so much easier in LA. You may say that I have commitment issues when I do not want to date a woman vamp….I just haven't met the right one.

On the other hand, this new girl I met, she is intriguing on the simplest level. I don't have to save her; I don't have to watch her. I work, enjoy eating and look forward to socializing. I'll cross the vampire subject when we get to it. The more control I gain with my dining, the more control I'll have when we seal the deal.

Oh, back to Simone. Did I ever think Josef would prefer the company of his Freshie? No…I didn't think he'd ever desire a relationship with a human. After Sara's sad outcome I figured the choice would be a poor one for me too. Following Josef's lead I could easily entertain my new Beth for a few years allowing her a decision I did not have,

I watch Simone with Josef, and I watch his gaze as she moves through a room. He's totally taken with the lit of her voice and in turn, she hangs on his every word. Imagine Josef being bit by the green eyed monster when he thought Simone was swapping spit with an athlete….yeah…it got me too that he was smitten.

So as Wednesday melts into Thursday and Friday I have a little pop in my step and I took the car to have it detailed. Beth trusts me enough to let me pick her up for date number 2. Yeah….middle of the week at the wine bar, well it was Date 1.5. When the car came back the leather glowed and the chrome was blinding. Lots of chrome on Raquel (I named her after Raquel Welch because she has great curves).

Saturday finds me in a meticulous mood. The lid opens gently and I brush the frost off my hair and brows. I've laid out my clothes and I switch out my lucky shirt for a blue back dress shirt with French cuffs, black trousers and my Black blazer. The gunmetal cuff links and belt buckle match. Allowing enough time to feed I fly to the car and drop the top. I'm a little presumptuous and I have a deep green silk scarf, I know it matches the car….I just thought it would be nice for Beth's new hair style when the top is down and I'm hoping she's in the passenger seat a lot more in the future. The package is sitting on the seat for her to find when I pick her up.

I erred on the side of 2-3 minutes late. I wanted to give her all the time she needed….just in case she was as nervous as I was.

Date Night…serious "get dressed up and pick the girl up date night". I arrived at her address, strangely the same address as the apartment I had dreamed of coming to. When she opened the door it nearly gasped. Beth stood in a classic off the shoulder little black dress. Her minimal tan played off between her blond hair in loosely tangled curls and the black satin.

"Come on in, I just want to set a couple of timers" she invited me across the threshold into a new world for me. I followed the sway of her hips in those tall shoes.

"You look wonderful" I blurted out, hoping she didn't think she just looked wonderful walking away…..

The room was decorated with ornately carved Victorian furniture and the walls were painted in deep burgundy with an ornate cabbage rose border at the ceiling. Pictures hung from velvet ribbons and the two tall chairs opposite the sofa held old crocheted antimacassars. Tall palms occupied the corners, giving the illusion of cooling the room.

Beth walked within my view into her bedroom, just where I remembered it to be. The white and brass iron double bed looked like an authentic antique and the coverlet was ornately embroidered with 4 fat pillows standing tall, just perfect for breakfast in bed or reading the newspaper with her coffee. She set a timer on the lamp next to the bed and then set the TV to go off in 2 hours.

"Living alone I like to make people think I'm here, especially on Saturday nights". She picked up a small evening bag and a shawl, "What's the weather like tonight? Coat or Shawl?" She held up one and then the other for my call.

"How about the coat and we can check it at the club" I suggested. She nodded and laid the shawl across the chaise next to her bed. What a romantic home she had made for herself. No wonder she always seemed peaceful. Beth walked back into the kitchen and set the timer on the coffee pot and then moved her wallet and keys into her small purse.

"I am a wreck without my coffee, I got this grind and brew pot and I am in heaven. If I set the night before I can sleep just a bit later" She measured the time squinting and holding up her thumb and index finger, smiling.

"I wonder if I might trouble you and use your washroom before we leave?" she nodded her head and I followed her unneeded. I closed the door behind me and leaned on the sink, staring in the mirror.

"Hah, vampire….I can see you in the mirror" I ran water while I inhaled the scents and history of the room. This was not where I imagined so many things had happened. None of the scents were right, none of them familiar. I washed my hands and dried them with the rose imprinted hand towel on the counter, hope she meant for it to be used. I am a guy, how would I know?

We were out of the apartment and down the hall before she said anything, two silent almost strangers. She smiled at the car, in all its classic glory. "This is the greatest car. Was this your Dad's car?" she stood back not touching the sill as she peeked into the leather interior. The boot shone in the streetlight.

"Yeah, yea, this is the only car I really remember" I reached into the seat and produced the small gift bag with the scarf. "This is for you, so your hair stays ah, stays styled".

She seemed surprised and I opened the car door and she sat and swiveled into the seat, gift on her lap. She separated the tissue and pulled out the 8 feet of silk chiffon. Her eyes danced as she thought about how to tie it, I could see it in her expression. She was too young to remember Grace Kelley or Marilyn riding in a convertible with sunglasses and a scarf.

"May I?" I asked as I picked up the length and began to wrap in the way Coraline would wrap her loose brunette locks before she'd tear down the road in the full moonlight. I brushed her cheek as I tied the knot around her chin.

We both smiled and I slid the key into the ignition and got us moving down the road. Once at the club I tossed the keys to the valet and gather Beth for the walk into the club, carefully behind her my hand hovered at her waist, practicing for the day when she'd feel more familiar.

Freddy welcomed me with a two fisted hand shake and a nod to Beth, "Mick, it's been a while. You want to sit in any or were you just entertaining tableside tonight?" as he grinned toward Beth.

"Just came for the show tonight, Freddy." As we walked in the duo was playing the first of their set, soft and slow it set a certain tone for us as we walked to our reserved table.

"Did you want to get a bottle of wine, or something else?" I handed her the wine list and she read it carefully and then asked about a Shiraz they had. Getting the server's opinion I ordered the bottle for us and felt her glow even being a foot away from her in the round booth.

While the group wove their music I could tell she was a child of her generation, almost wondering what to do with her time, wondering how to relax and absorb the vibe and watch the musicians while they interacted to create the live sound. I melted back into the booth's leather and watched her watch the room. Within a song or two I was confident enough to lay my arm across the top of the banquet and although it was inches from her shoulders I felt the force field that emanated off her shoulders in that dress.

At the break, Freddy stopped by the table. "Everything to your liking tonight?" This impressed Beth enough to bring out her 1000 watt smile and she explained that it was her first time at such a place. We made small talk and then he continued circulating through the room. She was beginning to face me more, tucking her feet up under her bottom as she sat sideways, her knees touching my hip. She drank her wine and played a bit with her hair. We made small talk quietly about everything and nothing, her favorite ice cream is chunky monkey, our favorite color is blue, my favorite wines are red.

"Do they mind if you talk?" she asked very softly.

I countered with "Would you like to dance?" I'll admit as far back as there were couples, men asked to dance just to get "the girl" in their arms.

(Soundtrack: Pat Metheny Group- Are you going with me?)

"I never took dancing lessons like this, but I can tap dance" she smirked as she did a time step on the dance floor to the chagrin of the other couples on the dance floor.

I shook my head and smiled, "Don't worry, I'll lead, just do everything I do, backwards."

"And in high heels" she finished Ginger Rogers's quote about dancing with Fred Astaire. Sharp girl! I held her loosely, my hand fixed at the small of her waist on that slick satin. Her hand fit in mine and we bobbed and wove around the floor with just a couple of minor missteps. We had that surprised look when the band wrapped up the 8 minutes of music.

I led her back to the table and we finished up the bottle of Shiraz. The cool Nordic blond took the stage and began the song acapella, and then the band joined in with light notes behind her.

(Please open a window in YouTube and enjoy the song- "The moon's a harsh mistress" - Vigdis Wisur, Norway)

See her how she flies golden sails across the sky

Close enough to touch but careful if you try

Though she looks as warm as gold

The moon's a harsh mistress, the moon can be so cold

Once the sun did shine, Lord, it felt so fine

The moon a phantom rose through the mountains and the pines

And then the darkness fell and the moon's a harsh mistress

It's so hard to love her well

With the slow picking of the guitar solo, she eased back into the hollow of my arm and laid her head on me. Her warmth melted against me and I sat hoping the warmth of my earlier feeding had hovered. I watched as she was dreamy eyed and I took my cue to get my Cinderella home before midnight. When I moved she gave that little jump that a completely relaxed human makes at another's move. We shared a smile and I asked, "About time to call it an evening?" she nodded and I rose to take her hand to leave.

I fell out of her eyes, I fell out of her heart, I fell down on my face

Yes, I did, and I - I tripped and I missed my star

God, I fell and I fell alone, I fell alone

And the moon's a harsh mistress and the sky is made of stone

The moon's a harsh mistress she's hard to call your own.

I helped her with her coat and she pulled the scarf out of the pocket and artfully wrapped and tied it as I had hours ago. She blushed as I held the car door for her and we rode the scenic route home as she held up her hands as they rode the wind. We talked about her favorite songs of the evening and I asked her if she had a good time. "I can't believe I've never done this before, it was so, so Casablanca". She relaxed back into my shoulder and closed her eyes until the car rolled to a stop at her place.

We sat for a moment in the car and I slid back the scarf where it was falling over her forehead. She caught my hand and she put it on her shoulder and drew to me, I lifted her chin to see eye to eye and we kissed more fluidly than Tuesday night. Light lips met at first and lingered, pulling away for a second then meeting again more sustained with each encounter. We both started to speak at the same time, "Excuse, me…go ahead" flew out of both of our mouths and brought smiles to our faces.

"I had a very good time, it was so romantic and you look great and I loved hearing live music". She slid to the car door and I helped her out and began the walk up to her door. We held hands for the first time as we entered the building and made our way to her door. She unlocked the door and stood before it, reaching out for a last kiss. I made an effort not to step into a tight hug; I couldn't have left if I had pressed myself against her. We said our "goodnights" I let her go.

She hesitated and asked me "Did you ever find the Beth you were looking for?"

"Yes, yes I did." I quietly answered as she stepped back into her living room…..

Series continues with LOVE DISCOVERED