TFW you have a debate meet and you shatter your fucking phone
I'm literally at a goddamn debate meet rn
Holy shit it's time to do the fourth and shittiest round
I'm so fucking excited
Disclaimer: Ido not own Durarara! in any way, shape or form
Warning: Vulgarity and cringe lies ahead
"So this is who "Uso," really is huh?" I held up a file, the name reading "Melody Worstchester."
"What an interesting little human...I can't wait to meet her." I read through the file for the hundredth time, re-reading the information I already knew.
Name: Melody Gwendolyn Worstchester
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Birthday: October 31, 1992
Birth location: Pasadena, California
Current location: Ikebukuro, Japan
Natural Hair Color: Brown-Current Hair Color: Blue
Eye Color: Blue
Blood Type: AB-
Height: 5'2
Weight: 127 lbs
Family: Zach Worstchester (Brother), Tom Worstchester (Father), Catherine Worstchester (Mother)
Likes: Sweets, Cats, Dogs, Music, Anime, Swimming, Manga, Reading, The beach, Horror Movies, Singing
Dislikes: Drawing, Effort, Her dad, Airplanes, Dresses, Spiders, Anything bitter
Degree in Teaching/Education
Graduated from: University of California
Love Interests: None
Relationship status: Single
Favorite Color: Blue
Job: Unemployed.
I didn't get as much information that I would've liked about her, but usually it was harder to learn about foreigners. For some reason they were just so much more expensive. "Oh well...I already know quite a bit.' My grin grew as I stood up and put my coat on.
"Well I guess I should introduce myself, it'd be rather rude if I didn't." I said aloud to the empty apartment before leaving for Ikebukuro.
"Damnit." I practically wailed, throwing the newspaper to the ground in disappointment. Why was it so damn hard to find a teaching job? Was it because school had just started? Were there absolutely no schools hiring? No colleges in need of professors? Not even a single daycare short in staff?
"I knew finding a job would be difficult but I didn't expect it to be harder than those shitty chairs I had to sit in when I was in middle school…" I muttered to myself, standing up and scanning my somehow already messy apartment. I'd only been here for 2 days and I'd already managed to fuck it up worse than any hurricane could.
I sat on the couch in a cloud of self-pity for a while longer before finally deciding that if I wasn't going to find a job today, I might as well get to know the city. I was going to be living here after all and the last thing I wanted was to get hopelessly lost in a concrete jungle.
After inspecting my outfit and making sure I didn't look like a pile of shit, I grabbed my keys and set off for the city.
I looked around through the sea of school uniforms and came to the conclusion that some school must've just gotten out because I saw teenagers wearing an identical uniform at just about every turn. "Dear god they're everrryywheerreee." I dragged out the last word to emphasize my misery. I wasn't annoyed because of the teenagers themselves, More so that it was becoming increasingly harder to find my way around the town and well, my claustrophobia was starting to set in.
Finally, I saw a rather open area and sighed in relief. I strolled over and as I got closer to my destination I noticed three teenagers and a young man nearby, one of the teenagers-the blonde one- glanced over at me. He looked extremely uncomfortable with the situation; his hazel eyes were practically screaming for me to help him. I wasn't sure what was going on but I had been in his place before, I knew how awful it was.
"Heeeyyy! Dude! It's been forever!" I ran over to the boy and hugged him tightly, pretending he was some long lost friend. "I'm Melody, what's your name?" I whispered quietly in his ear, so that we could actually call each other by our names and look far less suspicious.
"Masaomi." He whispered back before breaking away from the hug, a huge grin plastered on his face. "God I missed you so much Melody! How've you been?"
"I've been alright, though my job hunt is going terribly! Oh it's so awful!" I put my hand on my forehead and did a over-dramatic fake fainting motion. I noticed the other two teens looking at me in confusion, though the eskimo looking man (I say this only because his jacket made him look like a stereotypical, well, eskimo,) held a grin on his face. He looked amused with my little performance and I quickly realized that he hadn't bought my act for a second.
Fuck.
"Really? That sucks! Well at least I got into Raira."
"That's awesome! I knew you could do it!" I still continued with my act, trying to save this 'Masomi' from his obvious suffering.
"Uhh Kida, who's this?" The kid with the spiky black hair and smokey eyes cocked his head to the side, his face twisted in confusion at whom I was. The girl next to him seemed clueless as well, but not nearly as much so as jacket boy over there.
"This is one of my friends, Melody! Didn't I tell you about her Mikado?" His face had "PLAY ALONG," etched into it like stone, yet this Mikado kid seemed completely clueless as he shook his head.
"How come you never introduced me to your friend Masaomi?" It was obviously a rhetorical question, but even if it wasn't it seems like Masaomi'd been rendered speechless. The eskimo man stood up and turned towards me, holding out his hand. 'Oh right! Sorry, in America people shake each other's hands to greet each other…' The words that I'd spoken yesterday echoed throughout my head as I stared down at his hand, wondering how he knew where I was from. 'Is it my accent? My appearance?'
"I'm Izaya Orihara, and you are?"
My eyes widened slightly when his name escaped his lips. 'Izaya Orihara? Isn't that the other guy they warned me about?' But, he wasn't the same as Shizuo. I could actually see why people had warned me about him, he didn't seem normal. His aura seemed unstable and while his face held a friendly smile, all I saw was a malicious grin.
I reluctantly shook his hand and forced myself to return the smile. "I'm Melody Worstchester. It's very nice to meet you." The last words out of my mouth were obviously strained and I knew he noticed.
But before he could call me out on my shit or even utter another word, what I believed to be a trash can came flying and hit him dead on. I stared in shock, wondering what the hell had happened until I heard another oddly familiar voice butt in.
"Well, well. What's up, Izaya?"
Izaya's face went dark for a split second-almost murderous-as he was getting up and glared over at the now approaching Shizuo Heiwajima. 'Had he thrown that trash can…? Is this why people warned me about him?'
"Didn't I tell you never to step foot in Ikebukuro again? You remember that Izaya, dontcha?" He took off his sunglasses with care-which didn't seem to fit his angry demeanor- and put them away.
"Shizu-chan. Last I heard you had some gig working over by the west gate."
"Pff got fired ages ago. And I'm pretty sure I've told you never to call me that. My name's Shizuo Heiwajima, try to get it right." Shizuo growled and I saw Mikado gasp, his face turned white, as if that name was familiar to him. I wonder if he'd been warned about him too, but had actually never seen Shizuo before.
"Oh come on Shizu-chan, so I pinned you for something you didn't do. Who knew you'd get so mad?"
"Oh I'm not mad, I just want to beat the shit out of you."
"You know, the problem with you Shizu-chan is that you can't be swayed by reason….And that's bad...That's really bad." He held one of his hands up and pulled out a switchblade from god knows where. His face turned dark again as he pointed the blade at Shizuo. "Now let me go." His voice was full of malice but Shizuo didn't seem the least bit fazed by this.
I knew I had to step in before things got worse than they already were.
"You guys should probably get out of here." I suggested to the three teens, and they followed my advice, quickly leaving before any harm could come to them. Once I knew they were safely gone I got in the middle of Izaya and Shizuo's little standoff, alas, before I could do anything I was cut off by another voice that only worsened the problem at hand.
"THERE, THAT'S THE GUY!" A man with his putridly yellow hoodie screamed, pointing one of his disgusting fingers at the raven haired male. A whole group came charging at us after him and quickly formed a circle as if this were some cliche high school fight.
"No punk ass bitch gets to make a fool out of me." I wondered what Izaya had done to piss this guy off as much as he had.
"Oh you don't go playin' 'round with the dollars…" Another voice butted in and I glanced over at him, not even bothering to waste an eye roll on the poor fool.
"What's with the bartender?" Yet another man asked, his eyes scanning over Shizuo as if he was some foreign creature.
"I don't know, he wasn't' here a minute ago…"
"Is that...Shizuo Heiwajima?!"
I sighed at the stupidity surrounding me and I could practically feel my brain cells dying off just from being in too close of range of these morons.
"What the hell do you want?!" Shizuo finally paid mind to his new audience, turning around and giving them a glare so deadly I swear I saw at least three of them piss themselves. Though one man, with a wooden board was trembling, I saw the determination in his eyes and knew exactly what he was going to do.
But before I could stop him he ran forward with a girlish scream and viciously struck Shizuo with the weak board, and it shattered like glass once it came into contact with his head. This caused Shizuo to fall forward slightly and hold his head within his hands.
The group of idiotic "men," (if you could even call them that) looked at each other with smiles, as if they were proud of what they did, though their faces changed to looks of horror when Goldilocks emitted a low growl.
"You aimed for my head." His voice was monotone yet his face held more fury than I'd thought humanly possible.
"You have to know a blow like that could kill a guy right?" The man who'd only further angered my neighbor was trembling and if "oh shit," had a face, his would be it.
"And this means that you were intentionally trying to kill me right?"
"So then whatever happens next-" He paused only for a second as he turned around, finally facing the man who had injured him. "-Is what you deserve right?" Before the man could even react Shizuo punched him in the face so hard that he literally went flying, and as he soared through the air I had only one thought racing through my mind. 'We're soarin, flyin'
The impact of the punch Shizuo had delivered was truly incredible, as he flew through the air the force of the hit actually caused his clothes to be ripped from his body, leaving him only in his boxers and socks once he finally came in contact with the ground.
"Well damn."
But Shizuo wasn't done yet, no, no, no, it had only just begun. He lunged at another group member and attacked him, as well as all the others who dared try and lay a hand on him.
Now I understood why people had warned me about him, but for some reason seeing this didn't change my opinion of him. I simply watched in awe, amazed by the power he possessed and the anger that fueled him.
"Well, have fun!" Izaya taunted, and waved before he began his escape. Almost immediately Shizuo turned his attention back towards Izaya. I stared in disbelief as he ripped a vending machine out of the ground LIKE A FUCKING DAISY and hurled it at the man. But it never made contact with the eskimo.
Someone-who I recognized as the man advertising at Russia Sushi- came down from the sky itself and stopped the vending machine. 'Is this even real? Am I dreaming?' I was in total shock, all of this seemed like a fantasy yet I knew deep down it wasn't. This was real, this was actually happening.
"Simon what're you doing?" Shizuo's voice broke me out of my trance and brought me back down to this twisted reality.
"Shizuo, fighting always bad-"
"SHUT UP! AND STAY OUT OF MY WAY!" I saw Simon become a target of Shizuo's wrath as the blonde man lunged for him, but unlike the others, Simon blocked his punch and his demeanor remained the same.
Though I can't say poor Simon went home unscathed that day because that would be lying, and lying is wrong. Shizuo definitely did a number on him and by the time I finally got my legs to start working normally again it was too late to say I stopped him from causing any harm.
I was able to calm the tree of a man down though-thank god- and brought him back home. The whole way he was silent, and he studied me, seemingly clueless as to why I wasn't utterly terrified of him. And to be perfectly honest, I wondered why I wasn't scared of him either.
