A Life time of Spring Times

Hello, again! Thank you very much for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it so far. This chapter will take place around the same time, but from Peeta's POV. I hope I can do him some justice. Per the disclaimer, I do not own The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins does. I do own some Converse shoes, however.

Chaos is surrounding me as I try to process what is happening. First, there was the meeting with all of the survivors. I would say victors, as we had all won at least one game, but really we were all survivors. Victors should have a sense of pride, and honestly, I don't know if any of us had pride in what we had done, just for the chance to go home again.

Home. That place was such a far off memory for me. My understanding was that my home, my district, my family was no more. I could feel the anxiety, the aggression, starting to rise when I thought of my family, murdered. The Capitol wanted me to think it was because of the girl sitting across from me. The Girl on Fire caused the fire bombings to happen, destroying homes and people. Her family made it out, to District 13. Her cousin made it out, bringing certain people with him, but not my family.

"No!" I yelled in my head. I know this wasn't the truth, this was not real. I wanted to ask her now, the girl across the table, if it was real; if she caused it all. I couldn't do that now though, not now. Looking at her, you could see so much pain. I could feel it radiating from her. Her sister was just killed, also by fire, and I can't think she would have done that. "Not real, not real, not real." I just kept repeating this in my head, over and over, looking down at the table and wondering why we were all here. I looked up once I felt that most of the anxiety was gone and I could see her looking at me, sadness in her eyes.

Coin walked in and gave some speech about what was going to happen and then stated that she wanted to put forth a vote to have one more, very special, Hunger Games. The Capitol children were never reaped, and she wanted to put them through that. I could feel it rise again, and I knew there was no way that this would ever pass. How could any of us want anyone else, a child, to experience what we have? We were all so damaged; how could we inflict this damage onto anyone else? Haven't enough people already paid the highest price? The voting begins and I throw in my vote for no. This has to end here and now. A couple others also so no, but then I hear a yes. Enobaria, from District 2, has put her vote in. District 2 never saw the Games as we did, so this really doesn't surprise me. Johanna also agrees, and knowing what she went through at the hands of the Capitol, I understand why she would have said yes. I know Katniss would never agree, and that would be the majority, so I start to calm down.

She seems to be silent, staring at the table, playing with her braid, her brows furrowed in thought. Finally she looks up, grey eyes determined, and says the one word I didn't think she would say. Yes. Anger surges through me, memories of videos shown to me during my captivity, her destroying and killing, and still destroying even more. Maybe it could be real. She says it is for Prim, but her sister was a healer, she would never want her death to mean more deaths. Haymitch follows suit, agreeing with her. I am not surprised because hasn't he always pretty much agreed with her? I start to argue, but it has been decided. For a moment, her eyes meet mine, and there seems to be a message in them, something she wants me to know, but can't say. Haymitch pulls me out of the room when it is over. I know that Katniss has to get ready for Snow's execution.

"Listen. I know this is hard for you," he begins softly, "but trust her. You and I both know, though maybe I know better than you, that there is a reason she said yes. She hated the Games more than anything. She hated what it did to Rue, to Prim, to everyone who has died and even everyone who made it out. Most of all, I can tell you she hated what it did to you. Her plan was never to get out of that arena. You know this is real. She was ready to die to protect you. When she woke up and realized you were in the hands of the Capitol, she left me with these parting gifts." He brushes his hair away from his face to show me the scars going down. "Kid, you may not realize it, but that girl went crazy without you. So, for whatever reason she said yes for, I know she doesn't mean it, but there is something else going on."

"Haymitch, I'm sorry. You're right, there is a lot I still don't know and I don't understand. I don't know how I can feel so angry with her and also feel like I want to wrap her in my arms and not let her go. I don't know why she said yes, but I started thinking of all the videos I was shown and how she liked the killing, she jumped into things with the sole purpose to end lives."

"That's not real, kid. She saves lives." Haymitch shook his head slowly and sadly. "I'm not one for fancy words, but I can help you try to regain some of your memory back. I can show you videos of our training, during the first games, when you first told me how you felt about her. How you loved her since you were 5 and she sang. These are your words. Your interview, where you spoke about you loving her. I can show you how things really happened. I know they showed you some of this in 13, but maybe you need to sit with someone who went through it with you."

Music can be heard and we know that the ceremony has begun. "C'mon, do you want to go back to my room, or do you think you can face the crowd?" Haymitch asks me gently.

"I need to go. I want to see her and be near her." I answered in return. Given our status, we are lead into the balcony area where Katniss is standing, bow in hand. I hear the crowds, some words, but really all I can see is her. She looks at Snow, bound in the middle, no escaping for him. I feel an energy, a connection to her, and almost as soon as I thought it, she seems to glance in my direction. She aims her bow at Snow, time seems to stand still, and all of a sudden it isn't Snow that is falling over, but Coin.

The world seem to go still before it all broke out. People were running, trampling, but all I could see was her. She seemed to be trying to reach for something on her shoulder and before I could even think about what I was doing I pushed past and placed my hand over the spot where her mouth was trying to reach. I felt her teeth go into my skin, expecting it to be cloth, to get the pill that would end her life. She turns around, shocked, yelling at me to let her go. Letting her go means letting her die, and there is no way I can do that. I don't care about real or not real, what she has or hasn't done. This is Katniss, and this is my Katniss. I can't let her go.

"I can't." I whisper to her as they come up and grab her away. I feel the pocket rip and the pill fall to the ground. I see it crushed underneath feet and she is being taken farther away. I try to follow, but Haymitch takes me by the arm and leads me into the other direction.

"Haymitch, let me go! I have to save her! They are going to kill her!" I thrash against him, and almost get away when I feel a needle go into my arm. Once again, I am being subdued. I feel weaker and everything seems to fade.

I wake up in my room with Haymitch watching over me. I try to move, but it's hard. I am not tied down, which brings me relief, but I don't understand what happened.

"Welcome back." He says with a hint of sarcasm. "Before you start talking, I am going to tell you a few things. Katniss is alive. She is being kept in the hospital. There will be a trial where she will be charged with the assassination of Coin. We are going to do our best to get her off on an insanity charge. I have already talked to Plutarch, and her doctor, and we think there is a good chance that this can be done. You can't see her, so don't ask. She is not allowed any visitors, and if she is found not guilty, she will be taken out of here immediately."

I sit up and take it all in. "Why can't I see her?" All I want is to go to her, to see her, and protect her. I want to hold her in my arms. I fear the trial, fear they will want to kill her for her rebellion. I find the irony in the fact that it was the rebellion that made them love her, and now it was that same rebellion that could potentially mean her death. I didn't care if they said I wasn't going to be able to see her. I was going to find a way and I was going to get her out of there before someone could decide her fate. I was not going to lose her again. I asked Haymitch to leave, telling him I just wanted to be alone. I had to find a way to get to her, and his staring at me wasn't going to help. I also knew he was not going to help. I couldn't think of anyone who would assist me.

A day later I decide that simpler is better. I know how the hospitals work, and night would be the best time to go. I would find her room, get her out, and we would just try to walk out into the Capitol. I grabbed a bag, dressed in dark clothing, put a pair of sleeping pants and a hooded sweatshirt for her. She easily has the most recognizable face in Panem, so it may not be as easy as I think. I am not going to give up on her, or me. I know I cannot live in a world without her and I am not leaving it up to chance.

I easily make it to the hospital ward, and when I do, I see the nurse at the front desk. "Can I help you?" she asks, looking at me.

"Yes, I am here to see Annie Cresta." I knew that Annie had been staying in the hospital since our reunion here. I also figured since they were going for an insanity plea, Katniss would probably be near Annie.

"Visiting hours have ended some time ago." The nurse told me, "But I know who you are, and who Annie is, so I am sure it won't be a problem with letting you in." She smiled sweetly as she hit the buzzer and let me through the doors to the psychiatric area. I smiled a thank you and went on my way.

I went down a hallway, white and sterile, finding it hard to keep myself composed. I kept thinking of things that calmed me; baking bread in the morning, the smell of Katniss's hair, the feel of her lips. I was looking through door windows trying to find the right room when I heard a sound coming from down the hall. I walk faster as I start to make out what it is. It's my name. She is screaming my name. I start to run to the sound, as fast as I can, when I see doctors running around the corner. The door opens, and the sound is so clear, my name coming from her mouth so loudly. I yell her name in return so she knows I am here for her, that I hear her. I am taken by the arms by two men when I reach the door which has been left open.

She is strapped down, unable to move. They have already sedated her, but I can see her eyes as they stare at me. She has stopped screaming, but tears run down her face and I see her lips moving. She is mouthing my name, over and over, until the last tear falls and her eyes close. It is all I can take and I start trying to get away from the men holding me. All of a sudden, Haymitch appears, his eyes red from sleep. They release me to him with promises that it won't happen again. As soon as we get out of the hospital, he starts to yell at me.

"What do you think you were doing? I told you that you wouldn't be able to see her! Are you trying to get her killed? Seriously, kid, of all the stupid things to do; did you think you would just be able to walk out with her? First, she killed the President. Second, you two have the most seen faces of this entire country. I need you to think, kid, not be an idiot!" I cannot recall ever seeing Haymitch this angry, and his words made sense. He didn't stop there though. "Also, what if you relapsed into an episode seeing how she is? What if you did make it out, and you have an episode and attack her? Are you going to kill her?"

These words stop me cold. I wasn't thinking of that, of how dangerous it would be to have just me and Katniss alone together. Didn't I almost kill her a couple of times? What if we were alone? This seems to sober me up and I go back into my room and lock the door. When I stopped her from killing herself with the pill, it was because I knew I would not be able to live without her. Now I was starting to realize that I was going to have to let her live a life without me because I could be the biggest danger to her. I curled up in a ball on my bed, willing myself not to cry, and wondering how the hell I was going to be able to let her go.

Okay! Done with Chapter 1 from both perspective! I hope you all have liked it, and yes, it will get better and less angst ridden at some point. They are just still so broken at this point, and I don't think it is going to get better in the next couple of chapters at least. However, please read and review if you like it and would like to see it continued! I enjoy reviews, and I would certainly like to know what you all think of the story as well!