Francis was absolutely muddled. What could he have possibly forgotten? 'It's not Matthew's birthday, which was on July 1st. Today is August 21st, an ordinary day of no significance. There's nothing that could've slipped past my mind. I didn't overlook any dates with him; or did I? Come to think of it, August 21st does seem to ring a bell of familiarity.' The French man pondered the idea for another minute until it finally hit him with a huge pang of guilt. It was their anniversary, the day they first began dating each other. He asked himself how he could have forgotten, he was literally just thinking of it.
Francis came to a decision that he needed to apologize, as soon as possible. Down the stairs he bolted, after discovering that the other male wasn't in their shared bedroom. His eyes darted frantically in search of the blonde beauty that was Matthew as he arrived at the bottom of the steps. His heart rate noticeably quickened at the fear of his boyfriend gone, out of the house, and possibly his life. However, Francis heard the softened sobs from outside in the rose garden they kept well. He could feel his heart clench at the thought of a crying Matthew alone, in the dark, curled up close to a tree.
He gently slid the glass door to the side and stepped barefoot into the soft grass of the garden. There, he scanned wherever was visible for any sign of his boyfriend. His eyes halted when he spotted a foot peeking out from behind a large-trunked tree that looked an awful lot to be like Matthew's. There, he headed.
"Matthew," he quietly called, coming closer to the figure by the oak. He heard slight shuffling and brought himself to move faster. Seeing a small character struggling to get away, Francis' brow furrowed. 'Why's he limping? Did something happen?', he thought in alerted worry.
"Matthew," Francis said again, this time with more authority. That seemed to get him to stop. He turned around, his eyes meeting with Francis' for a small second before he hastily averted them. It pained the older blonde to know that his own lover couldn't bear to look at him.
"What?", he spat rather harshly, though obvious he was holding back tears.
"I'm so sorry. I can't believe I let that of all things slip my mind,"
Matthew clenched his jaw.
"What? Do you even know what you forgot? Do you even realize what today is?", he shouted over the natural sounds of night.
"Yes! I do realize! It's August 21st, our anniversary!"
Right as he finished, the wooden grandfather clock inside the house struck twelve and a loud chime echoed through the house and outside the open door.
"Well, thank you for finally remembering, but it seems that it's already over!", Matthew shouted at a surprising volume, huge teardrops rolling off his face. He fell to his knees, fogged up glasses dropping to the grass next to him.
Francis, still a few feet away, walked and knelt down beside him. Next, he took up his chin in his fingers, bringing him to stare into his light blue eyes that reflected concern. With his free hand, Francis wiped away the fresh tears cascading down Matthew's face. Carefully wrapping his arms around the tiny, slender body frame, Francis picked him up with ease. He weighed barely anything at all. To that, Francis shook his head. He guessed Matthew probably hadn't eaten.
After sliding the door closed, he carried Matthew up the stairs and laid him down on the bed. He sighed, proceeding to the bathroom to clean up. This time, he chose to throw the blades out, instead of leaving them in the box. He realized that mistake from years ago.
"Matthew", he breathed, coming back into the bedroom with a first aid kit in hand. He found the other still clad in his sweatshirt, already sitting up in the bed.
"Hey, you're going to have to take this off," Francis motioned at the jacket with his eyes, setting the medicinal kit on the sheets.
With no reply, Matthew did so, allowing his arms to be bandaged by the other.
Tending to them, Francis spoke gently, "You promised,"
Silence.
"I know,"
Silence.
Avoiding his gaze, Matthew retorted, "You forgot,"
Silence.
"I know,"
Silence.
Finishing up with the wounds, Francis packed up the supplies and pushing them off to the side. Then, he discarded of his own shirt and pants, leaving him in only his boxers. He usually slept like this, it wasn't new. Francis got in beside Matthew, pulling the covers up as he did so.
Once completely settled, Francis questioned," How long?"
There was a temporary pause.
"What are you going on about now?"
"Don't play dumb with me, I saw. Not all the more recent scars were from today; not all the older scars were from three years ago. How long?", he ordered.
Another gap in conversation followed, then a shaky breath,
"Since last year. When you drunkenly kissed that girl at the bar," Matthew further explained.
"You said that didn't bother you," Francis guiltily uttered.
"But it did. You kissed another person – a woman no less – while we were together. You said you would quit the flirty actions when I agreed to go out with you, Francis. You said you would stop! How could I not be bothered!", Matthew raised his voice, letting himself reveal his true feelings.
"You accepted the apology," Francis tried, desperate to be free of blame.
"So I did. I let it go and tried to forget. Eventually I did, and you regained my full trust. However, that was shattered when you dropped an even bigger bomb to our relationship; you had sex with a woman from that same bar,"
Francis eyes widened.
"Didn't think I'd knew about that, huh? Well guess what? While you were off thrusting into her, you accidentally called me. How do you think I took it when I heard another person – a woman again – panting and moaning your name? I cut once more that night."
With the exception of Matthew's scarcely hearable whimpers, there was another break from noise.
"I began to question your words and promises of love and it got harder to believe your 'I love you's after that. At one point, I was actually convinced you asked me out because of pity. Do you even know how difficult it was to deal with all that? I bet you don't.
I was able to somewhat put that behind me after we made love the first time, I was so in bliss. It was our anniversary yesterday, and I thought maybe I'd be able to show you how much I'd loved you again. But earlier, when you instead went drinking, my heart was crushed. I tried to brush it off and force myself into thinking that you only used that as an excuse to go out and get a cake or something. But when you didn't come back, I knew you really had gone out. I attempted to let it go, but when an hour passed and you didn't answer your phone, guess what I thought of? It drove me to the blades again, and I cut more heavily than I usually would have,"
By this time, both men were equally sobbing and trying to regain their breath. It was quiet when they did.
"F-Francis, I don't know if I can do this anymore,"
XXX
I know I'm kinda late, but this was our last full week of school. I had some last minute tests and a musical to get done with.
Anyways, I did it! I wrote the second chapter! Hopefully I can get chapter three out by the end of next week. Then, as they follow, I can get one chapter done for each week. I won't have any camps to go to, so I might be able to do it. MIGHT.
