Chapter 2 - Misunderstood
Dean opened his mouth but closed it immediately. This man had just called his own brother Lucifer, the Devil himself. How could he think about that man like this? As if he was a fallen angel, one that betrayed his family and turned evil. He could have never thought about Sammy that way.
Never.
There were so many things he wanted to ask, hoping he would understand Castiel's reason to believe that, but he simply shook his head with a forced smile in the end. "You're seriously insane, dude," he said seriously as he stood up, tightly gripping his book. "I'm gonna read somewhere else. Have fun, Clara, it was nice to meet you." With that, he turned around and left them behind, still thinking about that Lucifer thing.
When Dean left the table and was far enough not hear them, Cass cleared his throat and gave the young woman a serious look. She tilted her head to side, narrowing her eyes as she tried to find out what was wrong with him. "When Crowley approached you this morning you blushed," he stated quietly. "What happened?"
Clara bit her lower lip and averted her gaze to look out of the window next to them. "Nothing," she replied way too quickly.
"I don't believe it."
"It's not like that and it's really silly."
Cass looked into her big brown eyes. She was definitely hiding something because even upon him mentioning that little incident she blushed again, anxiously sweeping a strand of hair behind her ear. "Come on, Clara," he tried. He didn't want her to feel embarrassed or anything, he didn't even want to push her; he was simply curious.
"Fine," she said after a short break, letting out a long sigh. "I had a dream where we were together," Clara finally said, her words following each other so quickly he wasn't even sure he had heard her right.
When he finally came to the conclusion it wasn't a misunderstanding, mostly because she covered her face with her hands, he shook his head and said, "That's not good, he's evil."
Clara suddenly put down her hands. "Cass, darling, everyone's evil for you," she noted with a charming smile.
It was true; he didn't exactly trust other people. Ever since he had started high school a really long time ago, when their other brother Gabriel had run away, he felt like everyone he cared about would eventually leave him. Nick had been the same as bullies in high school and he never once protected him from them.
"You're not," he said out loud with a sad smile on his lips. "You're not evil at all."
"I appreciate that you think that about me," Clara said as she leaned closer to place a kiss on his cheek.
Cass put his hand on the back of her neck and kept her close, his lips crushing into hers. It was a fairly quick, tender kiss and he hoped none of the nurses saw it. She let out a quiet chuckle as she gently punched his arm but he only laughed and kissed her again, this time not even bothering to keep an eye out for the nurses.
"Clara, Jimmy," a deep voice said behind Cass, making him let go of her.
They turned to face Crowley with Cass flashing a disapproving grimace at him. This guy had the worst timing in the world, but this was the first occasion he had found him at the most inappropriate time. "My name is Castiel," he corrected the doctor.
"I won't have this conversation with you right now. Come to my office, please. Both of you," Crowley added, looking over at his other patient.
Cass reached behind his back to grab Clara's hand, making sure it stayed hidden from the doctor. "We're busy," he told him coldly.
"Now," Crowley said firmly. His voice rose and made others turning towards them.
They pair exchanged annoyed looks but stood up nevertheless after Cass let go of her hand, following the doctor like two teenagers waiting for detention. They walked down the hallway, passing the nurses station on the way to the office. Crowley flashed a friendly smile at them and Cass couldn't help but wonder how they couldn't see him manipulating them.
Crowley's office was plain and simple with only the most essential things he could need during his day there. Monochrome furniture and an awful lot of books; way too predictable and not even a single picture of his family could be found. He sat on the leather chair behind his desk, resting his forearm on top of it as they occupied the two chairs across from him.
"What were you two doing?"
"Kissing," Cass offered without even smiling. "I thought it was obvious."
"Cass," Clara warned him quietly but Crowley interrupted her.
"I've already told you like millions of times before not to call him that, Clara," he said as if he was scolding a kid. "He has to accept that his name is Jimmy Novak and not Castiel. If you want to help him, do this," he added.
Cass let out a heartfelt laugh at this scene. "If you haven't noticed, I'm sitting right in front of you and I can hear every word you say," he told the doctor.
"I'm aware of that, thank you."
Clara cleared her throat next to him, running her fingernails up and down her thighs. "Look, I don't really understand why it bothers you so much."
"You should know, Clara. The two of you are spending more and more time together which normally wouldn't be a problem, but you came here with dependent personality disorder. See my point?"
"Not really," she said with a shrug.
The doctor let out a tired sigh and leaned back in the chair. "Ever since I walked over to you, it has been Jimmy who talked and defended both of you," he explained, careful not to break eye contact with her. "I thought you were getting better."
"I am getting better."
"That's not what I see now."
He hated to admit it, but Cass perfectly understood it. Indeed Clara was getting better and she didn't depend on him that much, but maybe he had made a mistake as well by speaking for both of them the whole time. He made a mental note to let her handle these situations alone next time. "Is this what you wanted to talk to us about?" he asked calmly.
For a moment it seemed like Crowley was taken aback by the sudden change in his mood because it took him a few seconds to reply. "No, actually I wanted to ask you about Dean Winchester," he said, turning to the woman.
Clara shrugged. "There's not much to tell."
"Is there something I should know about?" Cass asked with a confused expression on his face.
"No," Crowley said but was surprised to hear another voice as well.
"Yes," Clara replied at the same time and turned to Cass. "Fergus here-"
"My name is Roderick," the doctor pointed out angrily. "If you want to be on first name terms with me then it's Roderick for you."
Clara froze as she looked at him. It was her 'smartass look' that Cass had seen before. A wide smile plastered on his face as he watched her. "As far as I know your name is Fergus Roderick Crowley, therefore Fergus is completely accurate. Anyway," she went on, turning her gaze back at him, "he asked me to talk to Dean and try being friends with him so I decided to be some kind of a mentor for him."
"I never agreed to that part," Crowley protested.
"You didn't resist and I took that as your approval."
Snorting, the doctor rolled his eyes. "That was definitely not an approval."
"I'll do it anyway," Clara informed him with a mischievous grin.
Crowley looked up at the ceiling then down at his watch, the corner of his lips turning into a small smile as he glanced back at her. "I guess you have group therapy in a few minutes."
Frowning, Clara checked the clock on the wall. "Fine," she said and stood up.
"Have fun," Cass told her before she left the office. He knew she had to go but Crowley still wanted her to leave; the satisfied smirk gave him away. He didn't want to talk now. Whatever it was, it could have waited, but his beloved doctor, with his terrible sense of timing, had to choose the afternoon he wanted to spend in peace. "What else do you want to talk about?"
"You, obviously," the doctor replied then paused for a few long seconds. "One of the nurses heard you telling Dean "don't blink". I thought you stopped saying this."
"I did."
Crowley raised an eyebrow. "Then why did you say it now?"
"Believe it or not," Cass started as he was playing with the nameplate he took from his desk, "I was only joking. Clara... Clara knows that and this is why she usually plays along."
"Yet she keeps calling you Cass instead of Jimmy," he pointed out.
It didn't matter what he said, Crowley believed he was still completely insane. Sure, he had some serious problems when he had come here, but therapy and medication helped him handle it, coming to terms with reality and accepting the fact he was only human. "I prefer Castiel, is that a problem?"
Nodding, Crowley said, "Since you believe you're an angel of the lord, it's a problem."
"I might even change my name to that." He wasn't even lying with this one. Castiel Jimmy Novak sounded way better to him. Or he should also change his surname and get rid of his past and his family. Gabriel was gone so he had absolutely no reason to stay loyal to the others.
"Then how can you expect me to believe you're fine now?"
"I don't expect you to believe me anything. I know my brother is telling you to keep me here and treat me as if I was completely insane as long as he wants you to."
Crowley didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Nick was barely hiding the truth and occasionally mentioned how disappointed they were. Once he had said it would be better if he spent the rest of his life between these walls, away from their parents or just disappeared like Gabriel, never returning to explain what happened.
Cass had never mentioned it to his parents, but in high school he tried to find his brother, hoping he would secretly keep in contact with him. After two years of searching he gave up and hoped one day he would show up and say sorry.
It was childish and naïve.
He knew that very well.
Minutes had passed in suffocating silence before Crowley let him go. Cass didn't say anything as he walked out of the office, going back to his room. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to spend the rest of the day in his bed, just as alone as he had been in his entire life.
But I'm not alone anymore, he thought.
Author's note: Hi! Thanks for the reviews (I'm really really sorry, but I have so many things to do that I have no time to reply), favs and alerts. What do you think about this chapter and Cass?
