Disclaimer:don't own D. Gray-man...blah.

Lavi stared blankly at the sight in front of him. A line of carriages stretched up the wide dirt path towards a twinkling castle. This, however wasn't what the Bookman was staring at. No. It was the horses, the incredibly malnourished, probably undead, horses.

"What. The fuck. Are those things?" He asked to thin air in a deadpan voice, wanting to get his incredulity out into the world.

"They're Thestrals, magical horses invisible to those who haven't witnessed death." Hermione recited, walking past him and opening the nearest carriage door.

"They're seen as bad omens but they're nothing of the sort."

Lavi grinned as the rest of the gang traipsed into the carriage. Hermione paused.

"Aren't you getting in?"

Aware of the increasing amount of stares he was accumulating he nodded. Damn his red hair, he thought climbing into the cab and squeezing onto the last seat, next to Luna, and damn his all around noticable sexiness.

"Bookman I presume?" Came a high scottish brogue as they walked into a rather pseudo-intimidating atrium. Lavi turned to see a tall, staright backed witch in emerald green robes with keen, stern eyes. A crooked pointed hat sat on scraped back greying hair, twisted into a ballerina's bun, obviously to pull back some of the wrinkles on the admittedly well-formed face.

"At your service my dear Lady of the highlands."

With this he grasped the witch's hand and bowed his head near it, afraid any sort of more roguish greeting would be met with the end of one of their pointy wandymajigs. They look less intimidating that Yuu's Mugen, but Mugen couldn't turn him into a rabbit literally.

"Yes, well," no blush, but a slight fluster on the smoothing of her robes showed Lavi he had done his job correctly.

"If you would be so kind as to follow me to the headmaster's office. He will give the address to the students after the sorting, then come directly to speak with you."

Gesturing with a sweep of his hand for her to lead the way, they separated from the mass of bumbling robes and walked off down a broad corridor.

"The sorting?" It sounded fun, and vaguely interesting. And, perhaps something of import to the records.

"It's how the students are chosen into their respective houses. A magical hat enchanted by one of the founders of this school determines the characteristics of a student, then places them in the house that most suits them. Gryffindor for bravery and stout of heart, Ravenclaw for intelligence, Slytherin for cunning and ambition, and Hufflepuff for personality and kindness."

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "Well that sounds extremely mentally debilitating."

The witch also raised an eyebrow. "How so? There are house rivalries, particularly between Slytherin and Gryffindor, but your house is like your family. I admit it's an old tradition, but was established by the founders themselves, each house named after each founder with the traits being the ones that the founders found most important."

"If all the people you intereact with are like you, how do you grow as a person? And rivalry isn't usually condusive to harmonious learning, if taken seriously enough. I nean, how are students meant to get along with each other if they're defined by their house and don't consort with people of different personalities. I know that the people I meet if put in another house would never speak to each other, but are the greatest of friends otherwise."

As they neared the end of a corridor and faced a stone gargoyle, standing sentry in an alcove, the witch straightened.

"We're here." She turned her attention to the gargoyle, with Lavi looking on in blank faced curiousity.

"Fizzing Whizzbees."(1)

And with this the gargoyle leapt aside, and a moving staircase was revealed. McGonnagall gestured and they stepped onto the moving platform.

"Does this rotate even when the gargoyle is in place?" Lavi pondered aloud looking at the floor, or rather where the floor had been before it decided moving was its new purpose. The stone steps seemed to be coming out of one place, yet he could see nothing underneath the rising blocks. Magic was wonderous.

They reached the top of the staircase, or more factually the staircase had reached the door. It swung inwards to admit the guests into a spacious chamber that was filled with rotating odds and whistling ends, stacks of books and a large desk that seemed mostly used to store various pots of sweets and ostentatious quills.

"Ah, Mr. Lavi welcome to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I trust your journey wasn't to bamboozling?"

'Bamboozling?' Lavi thought as he stared the tall wizard in a pointed hat, and long navy robes with embellished pixies on them, on various forms of dance.

"I found this new word and had to try it. Rather fun to say don't you agree?"

Eyes twinkled(2) as they peered over half-moon glasses fixed to a rather crooked nose, under which was a long flowing beard tied at the end with tassles that seemed to giggle as they were moved about.

Lavi nodded, not wanting to upset this obviously unbalanced man.

"Though I prefer Bookman." He intoned, not wanting such familiar tones with his 'subjects'. Ink on paper, Lavi recited in his head. Though he couldn't let go of the attatchment to the name Lavi, he could at least minimise the people who used it. (3)

The old wizard clapped his hands in delight as he settled into a rather plush armchair behind his desk. He brought out a long, slightly crooked wand and waved it. Two equally squishy chairs appeared in front of him.

"Very well, very well. Now Bookman, I would be entranced if you could enlighten me as to your duties and purposes here. I would like to accomodate you as much as possible."

REVIEW...thanks very much in advance!

(1) Generic password but does anyone know what they look like? I was thinking really fluffy bees or flying saucer types.

(2) can you really out anything else for Dumbledore's eyes EXCEPT twinkle?

(3) A reviewer who I can't remember the name of now but who shall be gloriously exhalted in the next chapter asked why if it was a new job Lavi didn't get a new name; 1-I suck at name's for developed characters

2-i was gonna do something like that or have them only know him as Bookman..but when writing it I forgot about that.

3-I wanted to write Lavi as LAVI, and might get confused if I had to write in each chapter Lavi thought... "Hey...Bankotsu!"Harry shrieked..something like that. (who can tell I've been reading Inuyasha? I LOVE Bankotsu he is ..)

anyways, now that's cleared up, review or die by BANRYUU!