Discaimer: I do not own full metal alchemist. Or any tuna fish. :(


Roy eventually fell asleep because of sheer boredom. He had a dream about Him and Riza going out and drinking pepsi all night long. At the end of the dream, Riza changed her name to Julia and made a Roy Mustang shrine. She also got some glasses and dyed her hair a little darker.

Roy woke up. He covered his nose. EEErgH! What WAS that smell? He opened his eyes! Ahhhhh! The was a toad sitting on his nose. Roy picked up the toad and sat up. The toad was wearing a short black robe, had a strange beak like snout, a silly hat, and a staff with 2 disembodied heads on top was in its hand. Jaken! Ok not really ,but still. It was just a normal toad. :(

Roy looked around. Who had put a toad on his face? Surely it wasn't some bizarre way of curing burns. Oh well. Roy layed back down and closed his eyes.

Roy opened his eyes not five seconds later and sat up. What WAS that SMELL? It smelled like..smoke! There was a fire in the building! Fire fire!

Roy was right about to go running out of the hospital yelling about fire when he heard a familiar, yet painful, voice.

" Hi-ya colonel! Like my new pet toad? Since I couldn't keep a girlfriend I just decided to try and keep an amphibian instead!"

Roy groaned and turned his head to the right. Sure enough, there was Havoc just standing there.

" I heard that you burnt your hands on a muffin tray so I decided to visit you in the hospital! Oh and Nekaj, my toad, deicded to come too!"

Roy looked at the toad. Veeeeery exciting...No. Not at all. Obeythesnarf would think it was cool ...But nobody else whould give a crap. Roy, was in the nobody else group.

" Havoc, you relize I have no desire for a stinky toad to be sitting on my head." Roy said.

Havoc picked up Nekaj off of Roys head and shoved him in Roys face instead.

" Ain't he cuuuuuuute? He just a wittle pooksternickster! Awwww! poogy poogy oogy doog! Blargles!" Havoc exclaimed as he began to pet the toad.

Roy was shocked at how much Havoc reminded him of Maes right now. Of course, this didn't last long. Okay, maybe it did. Okay...maybe Roy never would look at Havoc the same way again. Or maybe he would...who knows? Havoc then put his toad down on a little table that was next to Roy and poked the toad a few times before saying,

" Tell him to do something."

Roy sighed as only one thought went through his head, ' havoc elephant crap'

" What do you mean, tell him to do something?" Roy asked.

Havoc smiled stupidy and answered " Like, a trick. For example..um...Roll over!"

Jaken..er..the toad rolled over. Havoc then had a very random thought occur in his brain.

'I wonder if demons burp...' he thought. Strangely enough, Roy was thinking the same thing, and even more strangely, Roy was not from Denford as he had always claimed. He was actually from a small planet in the vicinity of beetlejuice. But, that was beside the point.

" Okay um...Sit." Roy said. The Ja-the toad sat. It was a very obediant toad indeed! merple merple merple! Purple purple purple! snerple snerple snerple! Okay anyways...Roy decided to test the toad with a slightly harder trick.

" Play dead" Roy said. I made a ryhme! Dead, said! hee heee heeee. Ohhhhhhhh! burps

The toad fell over dead. Havoc twitched and sweatdropped. Roy froze and his eyes bugged out. At that moment, the grim reaper came in. Strangely enough, the grim reaper had its hood over its face and a silly little tail.

He grabbed the toad and claimed,

" i do not have a dorky voice."

and began to walk away. Unfortunetly for him, his sith began to argue with him.

" You do to have a dorky voice!"

" Do not!"

" Do to! AND you drink TEA! What kind of demon drinks TEA?"

The grim reaper snarled and threw the toad in the air.

" You shut up or i'll turn you into a butter knife!" he roared as blood began to trickle down his chin.

The sith rolled its eyes. " Oh, AGAIN with the blood! That is SO not scarey anymore!"

The grim reaper began to swear and disappered in a poof of PINK DUCKIES. ha ha. that's right! PINK DUCKIES! mwahaha. l:D

Havoc looked at his dead toad, and then at Roy.

" Roy, you killed my toad..." He said.

And thus...it begins...sorta...


Well...That's the 2nd chapter. I hope you liked it. If you did, then you should read my other fanifcs...i guess...please...oh and i'm not posting until I get at LEAST 2 more reveiws.