Chapter 2: How to Evade Death


Knock knock knock!

I groaned loudly into my pillow. Why is Dad trying to wake me up so early in the morning? Why would anyone be awake at such an ungoddessly hour?

"Campbell? Are you awake?"

I froze. That voice was very, very much not Dad. There's no way a man with a voice as deep as Dad's could possibly mimic such a high-pitched voice. Was it Lauren? But she has no reason to be mimicking someone else's voice, right? Why would she be here already anyway?

Rolling over, I realized that the ceiling looked really different than the one in my room. Why? Did I sleep over at someone's house? I sat up and looked around. The clock ahead stared at me. 8:12.

"Campbell? I'm coming in!"

The door slowly creaked open, and there appeared a brown-skinned girl in a beige sundress with pink bangs and—

Coma. Necklace. FMA. Rosé. Clock. Lucid dream. Right.

So apparently, it is possible to sleep within a dream.

Rosé continued talking, seemingly unaware of my morning turmoil. "I brought over some clothes for you, though I'm not sure if they'll fit. There's a bathroom with a shower down the hallway to your left. I already left an extra towel, toothbrush, and hairbrush there for you. I'll leave the clothes here on your bed. When you're done, I will be down by the main entrance."

As soon as she left, I got up and looked at what she brought. A pair of black shorts and a pink tank top. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw a bag and peered inside to see underwear, newly bought and untouched. There was even a nice little note in there saying that she purchased it this morning. What a sweetheart.

After doing my business and going back into the room to grab my flower crown, I exited the room once again and looked down the hallway to my left and to my right. They both went on for a while and branched off in many places. It was a bit confusing, really...

...

...

...Which way am I supposed to go?


I eventually found a priest in a black robe and asked him for directions. Thank the goddess (or should I be thanking the almighty Sun God Leto?) that I crossed paths with him on my otherwise never-ending quest to find out where exactly Rosé went. Though I must admit, I got the same kind of feeling some people get when they go into a hotel looking for their room and they get the undeniable urge to just run all the way to the end of the hallway.

I gave into my urges a couple of times. What were they going to do about it, smite me? Pray that their sun god set me on fire?

I opened a pair of wooden doors to see that Rosé was on her knees, praying in front on the table, and just behind it was the giant state of Leto. I have to say, I couldn't really see it that well last night, but the statue was gigantic, and actually really well designed, with that weird parted beard of his that he must love to stroke if he kept his hand on it all the time. Actually, with that pointy crown of his and the long gown, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Statue of Liberty.

...Oh goddess, did I just compare this junk religion's god to the Statue of Liberty?

Rosé noticed I was looking at the statue and beamed. "This is the Sun God Leto. Father Cornello came to this town a few years back and preached to us about the path of God. He said that God will grant eternity to the living and resurrection to the dead, and he proves it by showing us these amazing miracles that would be impossible unless he was telling the truth!"

"Eternity and resurrection?" I asked to no one. "Has he granted either of them yet?"

The girl's smile faltered the tiniest bit. "Well, if we pray enough, I'm positive Leto will be granting our wishes soon. That's what Father Cornello says. With just a little more praying, everything will be—"

The muffled cheers from outside broke off her preaching.

"Oh! Father Cornello's showcasing his miracles right now! Did you want to go and look?"

I shook my head. I wasn't sure how I'd react to seeing something like that with my own eyes, and the last thing I want to do is end up fainting, or puking, or doing something stupid. "I can always catch them another time, right? I probably interrupted your, uh, praying session, so I'll let you finish up so that you can tell me some more."

Rosé nodded and went back to whispering to herself, just as the bell at the top of the church started to ring. I'm going to have to steal that ring from Cornello, right? I don't want him to continue conning these poor people until they turn against each other. But thinking about it some more, I definitely don't want the homunculi to be on my back... Well, I guess it isn't really my problem, since the Elrics should be coming at some time if everything is going as the manga or anime is. But when exactly are they coming? Tomorrow? Am I months early? Years?

Wait, which anime is this following? The 2003 or the 2009? Crap, how am I supposed to figure any of this stuff out?

"Ah, so this is Mr. Leto?"

I jumped out of my skin. I'd know that condescending voice from just about anywhere.

Rosé and I turned around to see exactly what I expected. Lo and behold, a blond shrimp and a walking, talking suit of armor. I think I underestimated just how tall Alphonse was. The girl next to me stood up and turned to face the two. "Are you interested in the religion of Leto?"

"Nah," Edward simply stated. "Unfortunately, I'm an atheist."

Rosé gave a small smile and closed her eyes, beginning to preach once again. She had at some point came to say that if Edward became a believer, he could pray for Leto to make him taller, and I couldn't help but snicker. She had said it with such sincerity, and Alphonse had to hold the little guy back.

"Resurrection of the dead," Edward said as he sat down on one of the pews. "Do you seriously believe in something like that?"

"Yes," came the reply, with not a moment's hesitation.

Edward sighed and took out his journal, beginning to read off the components of the human body. It was at this point that I realized that I was completely invisible. Neither of the two brothers have even spared me a glance so far, and poor Rosé over here was looking beyond confused as he read off of his list. "...What?"

The blond closed his journal and proceeded to talk, apparently to the floor. "Those are the ingredients that make up an average adult human body. We know this from our advances in science, but there haven't been any reports of successful human transmutations." His eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "You really think that praying could solve something that even science couldn't solve?"

Rosé frowned. "'Pray and believe, and your wishes shall be.'"

"And by the way," Edward said, disregarding Rosé's statement, "you can buy these ingredients at the market with a kid's pocket money." He had his hands behind his head in a relaxed and mocking manner. "Humans are made pretty cheaply, aren't they?"

"People are not things. Those words are blasphemy to our creator. You'll suffer divine punishment for that."

I winced. I don't think I ever noticed what religion really did to this girl. It's like she thinks that if you disregard the religion, Leto will smite you. Or set you on fire.

Edward let out a quick laugh that held no amusement as he sat up. "Alchemists are scientists, after all. We don't believe in creators or the existence of God. Looking for the solution to the creation principle of this world and pursuing the truth." He looked up at the statue of Leto. "It's pretty ironic we're the closest things to God in a sense, even though we have no need for him."

That seemed to tick Rosé off. "Are you saying you're on the same level as God? How arrogant!"

"Arrogant, huh?" He crossed his legs and looked up at the ceiling. "I remember this from a mythical tale. 'The hero who gets too close to the sun shall have his wax wings plucked and be dropped to the earth.'" He smirked and looked Rosé in the eye.

"Brother," was all Alphonse could say.

Done with his rant, Edward stood up and faced Rosé. "Lady, will Mr. Leto save a scientist like me? Even though I was thinking something like that?"

Just like that, Rosé seemed to have forgotten how angry she was. "Of course! He will accept reformers at any time! I'll ask if Father Cornello can meet up with you three right away!"

"'You three?'" Edward asked, turning to look at me. It's about time you noticed me, you jerk face.

"Yeah, three," I spat as Rosé left the room. I didn't mean for it to come out so rudely, but it was too late to take it back.

The blond frowned. "You believe in this stuff?"

Ouch. That was insulting. "Of course I don't. All I'm interested in is Cornello and his so called 'miracles'. I'm sure you didn't come all the way here to preach your atheism to some girl you just met."

He seemed a little irked by that comment. "Then what religion do you follow?"

"None."

"So then you're spiritual?"

"No, that's not it. I don't know if there is some kind of higher power or not, so I chose the 'I don't know' route. I'm an agnostic in that sense, but I choose to live my life as if there are no gods or goddesses since there's no reason for me to."

Edward seemed a little confused at first, but nodded in understanding. "That's fine, I guess. As long as you don't go around following some con artist."

After that, we were all silent until Rosé came back with a rather familiar priest...

Wait, wasn't that the same priest that gave me directions? And isn't he the one that had the gun?

I swayed. I could have been shot this morning. I could have been shot and killed this morning.

The priest began to escort the four of us, and we ended up walking in a huge hallway lit by only the lanterns that lined the walls. A good way to set up the mood for what was about to come.

I came up to Edward's side and nudged him lightly in the rib. He turned to look at me with irritation, but before he could say anything, I put a finger up to my lips. I pretended like I had a jacket on and opened up one side of the jacket with one hand while reaching in with the other hand and pretended to bring out a gun. I shot the hand gun and put it back into the imaginary inside jacket pocket before pointing to the priest. I had debated telling one of them on the way to the room, and I came to the conclusion that I probably should if I want to up my chances of survival, and there was nothing to lose by telling them. Edward apparently understood what I meant and nodded. Billions of games of charades certainly helps with this kind of stuff, I think.

"This way, please." We finally reached yet another set of big wooden doors, this one guarded by two priests in white with big, pointy staffs. The big door to the right opened, and we all began to make our way inside.

"The high priest is a very busy man, and he usually cannot find the time for such matters, but..." the priest in black said, "you folks are lucky."

Edward smiled. "Sorry for the trouble. I'll try to make it quick!"

GO!

As soon as the two priests in white inside the room began to close the door, I made a sort of zigzag line to behind one of the pillars on the right side of the room. Behind me, I heard a gunshot and some grunting noises, a gasp that was distinctively Rosé's, a scream, and more grunts. By the time I decided it was safe to look from behind the pillar, the three priests in the room were already knocked out, and the shrimp was already raising his hand in the air. "Strike!"

"So noisy!"

Oh no, here comes the big bad wolf himself, out from the shadows to kill us all. "Welcome to the holy order, Fullmetal Alchemist."

Rosé looked absolutely relieved. "Sir Cornello!"

I noticed the gun that was by Rosé's feet, and decided to slowly make my way to her as Cornello and Edward talked. I'm not going to let this poor girl be tricked into shooting someone. At some point, Cornello used the stone on his ring to make a miniature Leto statue, and I took that as a sign to hurry up before something bad happens.

I grabbed the pistol and put it in my back pocket. I felt so out of place being here...

Rosé seemed to have noticed me being there, and I smiled nervously and gave her a thumbs up.

Ed began to walk towards Cornello. "Still gonna play dumb? Guess I'll have to get my hands on you and ask your body for the truth."

Cornello's frown deepened. "You seem to be an incorrigible heathen. Rosé," he said as he looked over to her, but the surprise was evident on his face when he didn't see the gun by her feet anymore.

"Y-Yes?" She seemed scared out of her mind right now. How could this poor excuse for a human being do something like this?

Cornello noticed that I was standing next to Rosé. Crap. "You, girl."

My eye twitched. Screw you. I am not a girl. "Yeah?"

"Are you with these two sinners?"

I looked over at the brothers indifferently. "No, not really."

He smiled that ugly smile of his. "Do you have the gun?"

I took it out my back pocket, careful not to let anything pull on the trigger. "Yeah. Why?"

"Shoot the Fullmetal Alchemist."

...Everyone in the room was silent, but I was boiling. This... This sadistic swine wanted to make an innocent girl like Rosé kill someone, and now he has the audacity to order me to murder.

It was at that point that all of the common sense that I had decided to take a short vacation.

I glared daggers at the man. "You know what? No! Screw you!" I was screaming. I was spitting. But I didn't care in that moment. "Why would a High Priest, a prophet of the Lord, tell me to kill someone? What happened to all that 'Love thy neighbor' and 'Humanity is but a single Brotherhood: So make peace with your brethren' stuff?

"If this god of yours is telling me to end someone's life for simply questioning them, then they're not the type of god that's worth worshipping to begin with. I'm not going to become a murderer because your son god is so goddess-damned weak that all he can do is turn water to wine and talk to a depressing gargoyle like you telepathically. If he wants to have someone dead, go tell him to just use his magical sun powers. Have him burn this mother kissing town down for all I care! Otherwise, tell him that he can go and suck it, because I'm not doing it!"

I gasped for air as I quickly realized that I might have just gone overboard, even though I really wanted to say more. Nobody said a word for a couple of seconds and I was beginning to regret coming here in the first place before Edward tried and failed to stifle a loud laugh.

Cornello was enraged the whole way through. I think I just added a new wrinkle to his forehead. "Those words are evidence enough of their evil! They must be eliminated!" He began to back up to go flip the lever that I knew would send the chimera out. Now's a good a time as ever to run like hell.

I made it behind a pillar just as the fusion started growling, its red eyes peering out from the shadows, then a paw, and then a head.

Cornello smirked victoriously. "Is this your first time seeing a chimera?"

A lion's head and front paws, a goat's body and back legs, and a serpent's tail. I shuddered. It looked much more horrific when you see it in a more realistic form.

Edward, however, looked at it with indifference. "So you made something like this with your philosopher's stone, too, eh?" Rosé began backing away as he walked forward. "I should probably arm myself." He clapped his gloved hands and slammed them into the ground.

Seeing alchemy on TV and seeing it for yourself are two completely different things. Blue strings of electricity flew around as a staff arose from the now dented flooring and into Edward's hand. Just like that.

Cornello was just as surprised if not more at the sight. He took a defensive step back. "Without a transmutation circle? I guess your title of 'State Alchemist" has to come from something! But..."

The chimera began attacking Edward, and they both were putting up a good fight. Eventually, though, his staff was cut in two, and the chimera's claws swiped his leg.

Here, I'm not sure about what happened next. I think I might have blanked out for a few seconds or maybe a few minutes, because they next thing I knew was that I was on my knees, I dropped the gun, my flower crown was on the ground, and Cornello was currently shooting a machine gun at them.

I picked up the gun and crown and quickly got up, suddenly wondering how much I missed as Edward transmuted a wall in front of them to keep them safe. The chimera was out cold, and everyone was still here, so I guess I was lucky enough to skip the fight but not the escape.

Scratch that thought, because Alphonse just grabbed Rosé and stated to run while Cornello started shooting again. Crap.

I began running towards them as Edward transmuted a door and opened it, leading to a white hallway.

Shoot, shoot, shoot. Cornello was running after us. I was closer to him than they were. And he still had a machine gun. Though I must admit that it wasn't that difficult to make sure an out-of-shape man like him didn't catch up with me, bullets travel much faster than people do. I safely made it behind the group as they swatted the priests away like flies, and looked behind me to see if Cornello was still running after us. Thankfully, he wasn't.

When we exited through the entrance, I decided to part ways with them to sit and take a break at the bar. Goddess, I was hungry, especially after all of that excitement, and I'm pretty sure I'd only get in the way if I stayed with them. Putting the gun back into my back pocket and the crown on my head, I made my walk down the road and sat on a stool surrounded by some men, thinking about delicious sandwiches and fruits and candies and pastries. It was only until a man came up from behind the bar and asked what I wanted to eat that I realized, once again, that I'm broke.

"Uh..." What was I supposed to do? Tell him that I just finished running away from Cornello and his mob of black and white cattle?

The man, however, smiled knowingly. "You're the one that Rosé was talking about yesterday, right?"

Bingo. "Yeah, that's me. Campbell. Traveler. Broke. Starving." Man, I sounded desperate.

He left and came back with more stew, which I was immensely thankful for. The four thirty-something year old men around me gave me some questioning looks, but didn't do anything otherwise.

Okay. So this dream seems to be following the manga and 2009 anime. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I still need to find a way to get a philosopher's stone, and I sort of did already figure it all out, but I really, really didn't want to do it. But I couldn't think of another way to get one of those stupid stones that had a lower risk of me getting killed.

Just as the bar guy was filing a cup up with tea and I finished my second bowl, the show had finally begun. I couldn't help but feel bad as the nice bar man and everyone else around me had on shocked and horrified expressions. These people really believed in this man, and for it to all to just come crashing down in less than a minute without warning must be terrifying.

I decided that it was about time that I started getting ready for the first, and regretfully the easiest, part of the plan. I got up from my stool, thanked the man behind the bar, mentioned to him that the cup he was filling was overflowing, and made my way back to the entrance of the church to sit down at the bottom steps. It seemed like Edward and Cornello were already fighting in the main room where Rosé was praying, what with all of the explosions and noises.

I waited for the two brothers and Rosé to get together at the top of the stairs and start talking, all the while thinking about just how I was going to manage to pull this off. There were a bunch of faults to the plan and a whole lot of things that could go wrong, but this plan was my only ticket back, and I didn't want to be forced to stay here any longer than I had to. Get a stone, give it to Truth, and wake up. That's all I wanted.

As soon as the brothers started coming down the final steps, I took in a deep breath, got up on my feet, and blocked them. Oh, goddess, I already felt sick.

Edward glared at me. "What do you want?"

And there it was, right off the bat. Fault number one: Edward is in a piss poor mood.

My knees felt weak, I think a headache was starting to emerge, and I could feel the stew coming back up, but I stood my ground, squared up, and spoke as confidently and demanding as I could.

"Let me travel with you."

"No."

Fault number two: Edward is stubborn.

"Come on, you haven't even listened to my reasoning yet!"

"I don't need to. You're not traveling with us."

"Brother," Al spoke out, "give her a chance."

My eye twitched. You've got to be kidding me...

I swallowed up my correction (and the stew) and attempted to speak in a calm, rational manner.

"I might not look like much, but trust me when I say that I've traveled across the world and collected a ton of information, specifically about philosopher's stones."

Edward looked at me. "What do you know?"

"Well," I began, fighting back a nervous smile, "I'd love to tell you guys everything, but there are a few conditions that come with this valuable information.

"What do you need?" Alphonse asked.

Hook, line, and sinker.

"I need three things. First, I want to travel with you guys." I paused in case Edward wanted to refuse already, but he stayed silent.

"Second," I continued, "I need you guys to pay for my daily necessities while I travel with you. Food, clothing, hygienic essentials, a place to sleep, and whatever else. But I'm sure that since you Elrics have a ton of money, being with the government and all, this part shouldn't be too much of a problem." Again, I paused to see if there were any complaints. None. I took another deep breath.

"Finally, I want you guys to be able to promise me a stone—"

"There's the big catch," the blond groaned. "We're not giving up our stone to you. There's only one, and we're taking it."

I couldn't help but smirk. I'm sure it helped me look more confident than I really was, though. "What if I told you that there wasn't just one stone?"

I'm sure that if Alphonse had a face right now, it would look shocked and confused. "What do you mean?"

"I'm saying that there's more than one stone. The one that Cornello had was actually one of them, but I guess it ran out of power."

"How many are there?" Edward asked.

I looked at him expectantly. "If you want any more information, you'll have agree to my terms."

The brothers looked at each other for a long, agonizing moment before Edward spoke. "Fine. You can travel with us."

Yes! I raised my hand in the air—

"But only if we get to keep the first stone we find."

—and lowered it. I huffed. "Do what you want. Just promise me that the second stone we find is mine and we'll have ourselves a deal." I held out my hand. Edward stared at it for a second before taking his flesh-and-bone hand and shaking on it. As much as I hated having to stay with them and be in constant danger, this was the only way that I could safely get a stone. Broke and with no way to travel, this was the only plausible solution...

Right?


A/N: Don't be expecting chapters to be coming up this often. I just want to let you get a feel of what you're on for. I think I'll set a time limit on updating for at the very, very least once every two weeks, which should give me more than enough time for days off, story development, school work, reading, and everything else. If I don't make the time limit, it'll be for a very good reason, and I'll be sure to make an update to share with you the specifics and information on when the next chapter will be uploaded.

How are you liking this story so far? Anything you want to see or say to me? Criticism and compliments are always welcomed in reviews. If you spot any errors or something that doesn't make sense, please send me a private message so that I can fix them. Any other information you need, you can send me a private message about. Just make sure that I'm able to send one back by going to Account Options and putting Accept Private Messages on Yes. Otherwise, you'll have to wait until the next update for me to respond.

Also, beta-readers. Super cool. Send me a private message if you're interested.

Guest 1: Thank you for your review! I was really feeling down when I read it and it cheered me up just like that! I was aiming for a different approach to the whole "OC Gets Sucked into World" thing, since in almost all of the ones for FMA I've read, the main character is always white and blonde, and there's usually some type of romance going on between the girl and Ed or Al, which I just personally think is unrealistic. I also wanted to make the character have more personality than a box of dirt. I hope I achieved that somewhat. About your question, I had intentionally made Campbell's gender unknown for now. I left a little bit of bait in there for you, and all that you'll need to know will be revealed in the next chapter or two. You're welcome.

Guest 2: I screamed in joy as soon as I saw your review. No joke. Thank goodness I was home alone. I'm glad that you like the story and find it to be unique! Thank you for reviewing!